Warning: This chapter is probably the darkest one I've written yet. Go into it bearing that in mind.
Chapter Specific Characters: Mama Dixie, Porter Gage
Chapter Specific Warnings/Tags: Moderate mutilation, mild torture, attempted suicide, face slapping
Torture Scene Warnings/Tags: Graphic torture (obviously), crying, begging, cauterization, flaying
The beginning and end of the torture scene is marked by a break so people who aren't into that can skip it.
A gentle trilling woke Ash up and he reached over to shut his Pip-Boy off. Sitting up, he checked the screen and found he didn't have any new alerts. That was either really good or the worst case scenario. It meant either his synths had been able to work throughout the night without a hitch or they'd all been destroyed before they could get an alert to him. Only one way to find out. Well, there were several, actually, but Ash was really more of a hands-on kind of guy.
After a shower, Ash got dressed and did some gear rearranging. Messing with his gear reminded him to eat so he dismissed the alarm that was set to go off soon. Lastly, Ash made sure Blasphemy and Sin Cannon were fully loaded and then relayed directly into Diamond City. It was nice to not have to go to that one alley and then walk to the city. Being in charge was nice. Lots of perks.
Looking around, Ash decided the city seemed calm enough. He'd startled a few people who were going about their day but most paid him no mind. It was surprising how quickly the people seemed to be acclimating, but Ash supposed that was good. Leaving his guns holstered, Ash found his way to the part of the stands that had been getting cleared when he left and smiled broadly at the progress.
There were a total of six houses now and it looked like the synths had gotten started with getting electricity flowing into the houses. Assuming they were still following the way Ash did things, that meant the houses that were getting electricity were already furnished and ready to move into. Ash always saved getting power into a house for last.
One of the synths noticed Ash and came down from the stands. "Progress report." Ash commanded, figuring that's what the synth was coming down for anyway.
"Three single homes fully furnished and powered, one family home fully furnished and powered, two family homes fully built, and several homes still in progress." The synth responded, its words coming out a little clipped and garbled since Ash had set the robotic synths to talk faster than they were meant to. Something about that robotic voice talking too slowly drove Ash crazy and it wasn't like the garbling was that noticeable if they didn't have too much to say.
"Good. Were there any problems while I was away?"
"Negative."
"Return to your duties." Ash watched as the synth did just that and he took a breath, letting it out slowly. Yeah, it was good being in charge. Taking one last look around at the progress, Ash set a relay for Nuka-World and triggered it. The Commonwealth was boring without direction but Nuka-World was literally built to be entertaining, so it was worth a shot.
Coming out of the relay inside of Fizztop Grille, Ash stepped over to the lift dock and pressed the button. He could already see that the corpses he'd sent over had been put to good use and that made him smile. The lift arrived and Ash rode it down, getting his camera out as it moved. Hopping off once the lift was a safe-ish distance from the ground, Ash readied his camera and captured the decorations as he went around the pond.
The Disciples had taken his "the gorier the better" suggestion to heart, to several hearts, actually, and had gutted many of the corpses in order to use their innards as decor. None of it was as artistic or as tasteful as something he'd come up with, but he was proud regardless. Eventually he'd have both the corpses and the time to decorate the pond himself instead of delegating it. Making his way around the entire pond, Ash put his camera away and pondered what to do next.
"Dixie's at it again." A Disciple passing by grumbled to the other Disciple she was walking with. "Like some people ain't tryin' to nurse hangovers."
"Don't know how bein' out here in the sun's gonna help." The other Disciple grumbled, getting an elbow to the ribs for her effort.
"We're goin' t-"
Ash didn't hear the rest as he'd begun walking to the entrance of the Disciples' headquarters. If he recalled correctly, Dixie was the one who was complaining about his leadership qualifications his first day. She was also the one who told stories on the radio, according to Shank. Walking into Fizztop Mountain, Ash choked momentarily on the smell of rot but got over it quickly. It was a tad bit concentrated in the mountain, not like in Sanctum where it was a barely noticeable undertone.
Once he got over the smell, Ash began to notice steady whimpering coming from deeper in the mountain. Following the sound, Ash found Dixie standing near an upright sort of table with a woman strapped to it. Coming closer slowly, Ash watched curiously as Dixie used a her fingers to dig the woman's eye out of her skull. The woman screamed and Ash's heart stuttered at the broken, pitiful sound. Then Dixie yanked violently and the screams went up a pitch when the eye came free, the nerve that had connected it to the person's head snapping eventually. Letting out a breath, Ash came closer still and caught Dixie's attention when he entered where the candlelight reached.
Looking over, Dixie grinned, the expression actually showing since she wasn't wearing her mask at the moment. "Well, hey there, boss." She greeted cheerfully, tossing the eyeball up and catching it. "Enjoyin' the show?"
Swallowing his sudden nerves, Ash nodded and came closer, finally getting close enough that he could see the full extent of the damage that had been done to the woman on the table. His breath caught as he looked upon the amount of mutilation. It was beautiful. "I've never-" Ash paused, swallowing and willing his voice to come out more steady. "I've never seen torture up close."
"Never?" Dixie asked, her tone that of shock. "That's just downright unacceptable, boss. I heard you like killin' as much as any Disciple and you ain't never tortured nobody?"
"No." Ash mumbled, his right hand twitching a bit. "I've never thought about it. I mean, it's the killing I like, I never-." He trailed off, getting distracted by an arc on the woman's side that was oozing thick blood.
"Y'sure 'bout that?" Dixie asked, stepping up to the table and picking up a scalpel. "I mean, I've heard ya got yourself one hell of a temper. Ya can't tell me you ain't never thought of just strappin' someone down and makin' 'em hurt." She cut a slit into the woman's neck and squeezed the eye into it, stepping back to admire her work with a smile. "I was thinkin' of settin' this one out by the pond with the ones you sent over." Dixie mentioned offhandedly, watching as her victim started to slowly fade away. Just as she was about to expire, Dixie stabbed her as hard as she could in the heart and let out a little giggle as she jerked in one last burst of pain before dying.
"I-I guess I have." Ash mumbled, enraptured by Dixie's actions.
Smiling at Ash's fascination with her work, Dixie placed a bloody hand on her hip. "Wanna give it a whirl? If you don't like it ya can always just kill 'em, after all."
Even as he frowned uncertainly behind his mask, Ash nodded slowly. "I think I would."
"Well, alright!" Dixie cheered happily, motioning for Ash to follow her and leading him over to some cages. "We got lotsa canvases, just look around and see if one catches your eye." She instructed, watching Ash as he slowly looked through the cages. "I personally prefer pretty young ladies, but ya just never know who'll stand out to ya 'til you look around."
As Ash looked at the individuals in the cages, a flash of green caught his eye. Stopping abruptly, Ash looked into the cage and locked eyes with a man who was probably in his early twenties and had startlingly vibrant green eyes. "That one." Ash said quietly, the people around the man scurrying out of the way as Dixie came over to unlock the door. The man kept his eyes the entire time, a certain defiance to them that Ash found himself quite excited to try his hand at breaking.
"I had a feelin' one of the boys'd catch your eye." Dixie said coyly, dragging the man out of the cage. "Take an arm, would ya, boss?"
Frowning a bit, Ash grabbed the man's other arm and followed Dixie to an unoccupied table. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"That everyone in Nuka-World has a bettin' pool goin' for how long it'll take you and Gage to make it public." Dixie replied happily, strapping the man to the table. He didn't struggle, seeming resigned to his fate.
Flushing under his mask, Ash gaped at Dixie, only coming out of it when she motioned for him to strap down the man's limbs on his side. "We aren't even private yet! We- nothing is happening with me and Gage." Ash said incredulously as he strapped the man down.
"You said "yet"." Dixie said smugly, grinning when Ash faltered.
"Did I?" He asked quietly, realizing a moment later that he had and glaring at Dixie. "You know, I've stabbed people for less than this."
Laughing, Dixie shook her head. "Hey, ya can stab the messenger if you want, but that ain't gonna change the fact that everyone knows that's how Gage operates."
"How Gage operates?" Ash asked slowly, sliding his pack off and placing his hat inside.
"He was fuckin' Colter and you two are even more inseparable than they were, so everyone figures he's fuckin' you too." Dixie explained, shrugging. "Plus, it's sort of rumored that you swing that way. That don't help none."
Laughing in disbelief, Ash ran his fingers through his hair, remembering his streaks as he did so. Then he remembered his exposed midriff. And his three-inch tall heels. And most of his general mannerisms. "Yeah, alright, fair." He muttered, realizing that he wasn't exactly subtle about how feminine he was and that most people would probably come to the conclusion that he was gay. Gay or trans. Was being trans still a thing? Surely it was. He'd need to ask someone at some point. "I swing both ways, though."
"That ain't gonna help you much. 'Specially since all the gang leaders are ladies. Next people'll be sayin' they're all fuckin' you too. Fuckin' you, mind you. Everyone thinks you're a taker, not a giver." Dixie said, shrugging when Ash gaped at her again. "Look, raiders enjoy simple pleasures, boss. Chems, booze, sex, killin', and gossip."
"Well you're the only person who knows I'm bi." Ash said, running his fingers through his hair again.
"And I'm a terrible gossip. Stab me now if you gotta." Dixie said, offering Ash another shrug when he looked at her in utter disbelief.
After a moment of staring at Dixie incredulously, Ash laughed and shook his head, looking down. "Nah. Gossip away." He muttered, waving a hand at Dixie. "Who am I to deprive a raider of one of her five simple pleasures?"
"That's the spirit!" Dixie cheered, clapping Ash on the back and not noticing how it made him lurch forward a bit as she'd begun setting up a table with tools immediately after.
Reaching around to rub his back a bit, Ash watched Dixie, his mind getting back on track as she set the tools up and then stepped aside. When she motioned at the tools, he stepped forward and looked at everything uncertainly.
Watching from the sidelines, Dixie spoke up when Ash started to look overwhelmed. "Just go with your gut, boss. So long as you're hurtin' 'im, you're doin' it right."
Oddly comforted by Dixie's words, Ash nodded slightly and picked up a scalpel. Looking at his canvas, Ash caught those green eyes again and saw a bit of fear behind the defiance. That lit the spark Ash needed to melt away his nervousness and he let out one last breath before coming closer still and getting started.
Starting just under the man's naval, Ash made a circle that encompassed his entire abdomen from the starting point to just above the man's breasts. The man hissed and even whined a little but he kept it together pretty well. When Ash dug the scalpel in further and went around for a second time though, he began to cry and let out much louder sounds of pain.
Feeling a smile starting to form on his face, Ash set the scalpel aside and dug his fingers into the bottom of the circle. It took him a moment of tugging to realize that wasn't exactly how skin worked and he picked the scalpel back up, starting the slow process of removing the man's skin from his abdomen. Now the man was screaming and Ash's breath hitched when the first one finally ripped free from his throat.
"You're voice is beautiful." Ash said softly, catching the man's teary eyes with his own almost unnaturally bright ones.
"F-fuck you." The man bit out, choking on a sob as Ash made another long slice under his skin.
"Tempting." Ash hummed, refocusing on his work. "But I'm only into people who can consent. You being my victim, that feels kinda unbalanced."
"How considerate." The man snapped sarcastically, flinching when Ash's eyes snapped up to him.
After a moment of staring at the man, Ash looked back down and kept cutting. "I'm going to make you beg me for death." He practically whispered, finding it easier and easier to peel the man's skin the more he went. "You'll sound so much better begging for death than you do being mouthy."
Off to the side, Dixie was watching and smiling like a proud mother. She didn't think Ash had quite let loose fully yet, but he was getting there. Talking seemed to help him. Dixie remembered when she was first discovering herself. Talking had helped her too. Now she always had conversations, even if they were mostly one-sided, with her victims. It made the experience seem more intimate and being able to just rattle things off the top of her head had always helped in her early days when she started to feel uncertain.
Making the final cuts, Ash finally tossed aside the slab of skin he'd collected from the man. Now he had a massive canvas of raw muscle to play with. He wasn't quite sure what to do with it, but it felt like a start. While Ash was considering what to do next, he realized his victim was bleeding quite a bit. That was bad. If he bled out before Ash could get him begging, he'd be very disappointed in himself.
"Do you happen to have a propellant of some sort?" Ash asked, looking over at Dixie. "Hair spray or cooking spray or something like that?"
Humming, Dixie shrugged lightly. "I'll go look." She said, wandering off to see what she could find.
"Thanks." Ash muttered, turning back to his victim and pursing his lips a bit. Removing his skin had been sort of fun, but he definitely wasn't getting as much out of this as he got from just killing someone. Ash wondered vaguely if that would change once he got the man begging for death or if he just really wasn't into torture.
"Think this'll do?" Dixie called as she returned, tossing Ash a can.
Catching it, Ash examined the can and nodded. "This is perfect." He said, shaking the can of two-hundred year old hairspray and getting his lighter out. He always kept his lighter on his person, the pocket-laden belt that had come with the Nuka-Girl suit the perfect place to stash little things like that. Aiming at the man's chest, Ash clicked the lighter on and let the hairspray rip, feeling pleased at how flammable it was even after two-hundred years.
As the chemicals burned the man's exposed muscle and then the fire came in and burned it even worse, he screamed. He screamed louder than he had thus far and Ash's heart skipped again. He liked the screaming. The knowledge that he was causing another human being pain didn't do much for him, but the screaming. Letting out a breath, Ash stopped the flow of hairspray, the man's muscles now charred and bleeding much less now that they'd been cauterized.
Setting the can aside, Ash listened to the man's broken sobs and decided he liked those too. Now if he could just get him begging. Rubbing his chin despite the blood that the action smeared on his mask, Ash considered a few ideas and then reached out, lightly touching the man's chest. He hissed and tried to recoil even though there was nowhere to go and Ash found that his chest wasn't all that hot. Grinning a bit under his mask, Ash dug his fingernails into the top of the man's chest and began the slow process of raking them down to the bottom.
Back arching, the man let out a broken, throat destroying cry. When it ended, he thrashed and tried to buck, but there was nowhere to go and Ash was unmoved by his desperation, nails still moving steadily down, collecting char and gore under them. "Please!" The man finally cried out, openly sobbing and writhing desperately. "Stop it! Stop it, please!"
Oh shit. Ash hadn't expected that to do it for him that much, but it fucking did. Breath coming out a little heavier, Ash dug his nails in deeper and dragged slower, gaze so intense his eyes were nearly glowing.
"Fucking- stop! Stop!" The man screamed, choking on a sob. "Please! Fuck-fucking kill me!"
Letting out a low, throaty growl, Ash paused. He was still a few inches from the man's naval. That was still quite alot of clawing though and the man choked on a relieved sob when the steady pain stopped. Grin growing just a bit, Ash suddenly raked his nails as hard and as fast as he could the rest of the way down.
Another piercing scream split the air and Ash actually had to bite his lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises. When the man went limp, breath coming out shaky and heavy, Ash pushed a needle into his destroyed chest, causing him to whine softly. "Know what that is?" Ash asked softly, his voice coming out deeper than he'd ever heard it. The man made an attempt to look at the needle but Ash imagined it was hard to see anything with so many tears in his eyes. "It's a stimpak."
Choking on yet another sob, the man shook his head weakly. "No, please no." He whimpered, shaking and twitching occasionally. "Please." He breathed, hiccuping quietly. "Please just kill me. I don't- I can't- not-not again. Pl-please."
Breath coming out a little ragged, Ash cupped the man's jaw in his bloody hand and forced him to meet his eyes. Those gorgeous green eyes were somehow even prettier now that they were so broken. Now that Ash knew he was the one who'd broken them. "Since you asked so nicely." Ash whispered, pulling the needle out and tossing it aside. He kept the broken man's eyes as he slit his throat and watched the light in them die.
Sighing deeply, Ash stepped back and put his knife away. Applause form nearby startled him and he looked over to see Dixie was clapping. "I knew you had it in ya, boss." She said happily, smiling with genuine happiness and ceasing her applause. "Did it just as good as any Disciple too. The other girls'd be proud t'call ya one of us."
Shifting a little uncomfortably, Ash looked away. The praise wasn't annoying, he liked Dixie too much, despite himself, to find it annoying, but it still made him uncomfortable. He wasn't about to thank Dixie for it, either, but luckily she didn't seem to need it and just kept right on talking.
"So, didja enjoy yourself?" She asked coyly, knowing full well that Ash had but wanting to hear him say it. She knew someone getting into their work when she saw it and beyond that, she could see the evidence that Ash had enjoyed himself. The pants he was wearing didn't hide anything. Not that she was looking, she wasn't into the equipment he was packing, but it was hard not to notice.
"Not at first." Ash admitted, looking back at the corpse now hanging lifelessly from the table. "But, towards the end, yeah."
"Would ya do it again?" Dixie pressed, stepping closer to Ash and admiring his handiwork.
Frowning, Ash considered the question and then slowly nodded his head. "Probably." He answered slowly, shaking his head a bit in amusement at the excited look Dixie gave him. "It was fun even though it was alot of work. I get just as much of a rush from just killing someone, but there was something- different about doing it this way."
Humming a bit, Dixie nodded. "I can tell." She said coyly, nodding towards Ash's crotch and laughing when he realized what she meant and looked embarrassed. "Just remember, if you ever get a hankerin' for hurtin' someone, you better come to me so we can do it together." Dixie said, placing her hands on her hips. "Deal?"
Smiling a bit, again despite himself, Ash nodded. "Alright, Dixie. Deal." He agreed, collecting his gear as Dixie nodded in approval.
"Want me to put this one anywhere in particular?" She asked, motioning at the corpse Ash had made.
"Nah. Do whatever you want with it." Ash said, slinging his pack on and fixing his hat back on his head.
"Alright. See y'round, boss. Thanks for comin' to visit, I had fun." Dixie said, smiling to herself as Ash waved over his shoulder at her.
"Sure thing, Dixie. See you around." He called back softly, leaving Fizztop Mountain and deciding to partake in something a little lighter after torturing someone for the first time. Setting a course for Kiddie Kingdom, Ash thought about what he might want to do once he got there. Then he saw the massive ferris wheel looming in the distance and instantly knew that was it. Hoping it worked, Ash picked up the pace and found the ferris wheel easily.
Locating the button that would start the ride up assuming it worked, Ash pressed it and ran to the lowest seat. He managed to scramble in just as the ride started moving. Feeling a rush of excitement, Ash stood up and leaned out of the opening, holding the metal frame tightly and looking out at Kiddie Kingdom as he was slowly lifted into the air. When the ride hit its peak, Ash's breath caught and he fought down the voice in his head that said "jump". The ride slowly came back down and Ash hopped off once it stopped, stumbling a bit now that he was back on solid ground but catching his balance easily enough.
That had been fun, but Ash had another idea that was even better. Or worse. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference. Looking up at the ferris wheel, Ash took a moment to plot his course and then climbed back into the lowest seat. Stuffing his hat and mask into his pack, after taking a moment to rinse his hands off, and leaving it there in the seat, Ash climbed onto the roof of the seat. The seat swayed under him but Ash was undeterred and hopped in order to grab onto the second lowest beam of the wheel's massive metal skeleton. Planting his feet on the lowest beam, Ash looked up and considered his options again.
Stepping up to the slanted support beam, Ash found it wasn't too slippery and hauled himself up to grab the next highest one. This continued as Ash slowly worked his way up, scaling the metal support beams of the ferris wheel until he reached the area near the center where he couldn't go up straight anymore. By then, he was already panting and sweating quite a bit from the exertion of climbing the massive ride, but he was halfway there and wasn't ready to give up just yet.
Climbing under one beam to reach the side he needed, Ash jumped and caught a beam a little higher up. Pulling himself up, he carefully began to scale upwards that way. It was even more work reaching for a beam and hauling himself up to get to the next one, but Ash slowly reached the point where he could climb straight up the wheel again. Taking a moment to catch his breath where he was at, Ash looked around at the view and grinned. He could see just about all of Kiddie Kingdom just from that high up and if he craned his neck to look behind himself, he could see out to the rest of Nuka-World.
Ash hadn't quite caught his breath before he was climbing again, wanting more to get to the top than to heed his body's protests. He climbed to the top much the same way he climbed to the center and then came to another problem when he realized now he'd need to get to the seat. Getting as close to the seat as he could, Ash jumped, the seat swaying and dipping under his weight as he caught the edge of it and held on with all his remaining strength.
Huffing out a laugh as the seat swayed slowly, Ash painstakingly hauled himself up into the seat and took another minute to pant heavily. He was shaking a little from exerting himself so much, but he still had a little further to go. Looking up, Ash stood and grabbed the roof of the seat. With a deep breath, Ash climbed up just a little further and finally he was as high as he could get. The seat swayed some from the movement and the stronger winds that came with being so high up, but Ash didn't pay it any mind as he sat down on the roof, finally allowing himself to rest now that he'd reached the peak of the ferris wheel.
He could see everything from so high up. Laying his head back on the beam that held the seat to the wheel, Ash let out a content sigh. The view had been worth the climb. Getting back down was going to be a bitch, but for now, he was content. For a full hour Ash sat there, taking in the view, letting his mind wander, picking at the gore under his nails, and enjoying the feeling he got from being up so perilously high. His relaxation was interrupted by the wind suddenly picking up, causing the seat to start swaying again.
Smiling, Ash looked up at the sky and got hit smack in the middle of his forehead by a fat raindrop. Blinking rapidly a few times, Ash looked back down to wipe at his forehead and laughed softly as the sky became quickly full of storm clouds that broke almost immediately. The wind only picked up from there and as the seat swayed particularly violently, Ash slid forward a bit. Winding his arm around the metal beam that held the seat, Ash kept himself from sliding off and looked up at the sky, closing his eyes against the downpour.
The temperature dropped with the wind and rain and Ash was soon soaked to the bone and shivering a bit. For some reason, the sudden storm struck Ash as funny and he found himself giggling at first. As he started to shiver, he began to laugh. Oh, what had he gotten himself into now? Climbing down was going to be nearly impossible. Keeping a firm grip on the beam near his head, Ash stood up, the strong winds making him sway on his feet. He'd have to relay out of this one.
With his wet hair being whipped around by the fierce winds, Ash looked out at his kingdom and had to hold the beam with his other hand from how hard everything struck him as just so fucking funny. What if he slipped? What if he died right now? After so much hard work, all because he wanted to climb a stupid ferris wheel. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Yes, the answer was yes. Calming down, Ash looked down at the ground so far below and his smile took on a particular quirk around the corners. He didn't have to relay away. There was another way down.
So funny. Coming closer to the edge of the roof, Ash held on tight to the beam now beside him and gazed down. It was hard to see the ground with all the rain but Ash knew it was down there. He looked out at Kiddie Kingdom again and was stricken by how beautiful it was. The rain had caused a sort of mist from hitting the hot ground and lights and it was illuminated in so many different colors from all the twinkly little lights strewn all over Kiddie Kingdom.
It almost looked like clouds. Like colorful clouds. Dimly, in the back of his mind, Ash realized he could no longer feel his fingers, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing. Suddenly frowning, Ash swayed a bit with another strong gust and slowly, very slowly, he slid one foot forward, hovering it over the edge of the roof. Would he hit the clouds before he hit the ground? Would it kill him? Only one way to find out.
Before Ash could cross that line, the ferris wheel gave a lurch and it jolted Ash out of his daze. Tightening the grip that had gone loose around the beam, Ash moved his foot back under him and held on tight as the ferris wheel started moving. When it stopped again, he was near the ground so the swaying of the seat from the stop wasn't nearly as dangerous as it had been when it was happening hundreds of feet in the air.
Looking around, Ash saw Gage standing near the controls, looking, well, definitely not happy. Smiling weakly at the older man, Ash slid down to his knees, still gripping the beam with his numb fingers. "Hey, Gage." He offered, barely audible over the storm even so far away from the worst of the wind.
Walking over to the seat Ash was on, Gage threw his coat up to him. "You're shakin' like a leaf, boss." He said in lieu of a greeting, his tone hard to read even as his face remained set in a scowl.
Slowly releasing the bar he'd been practically clinging to, Ash draped his coat over his shoulders. "How'd you know I was up there?"
"The Disciples said you came this way and never came back." Gage replied, offering his hand to Ash.
"I could've relayed away." Ash muttered, slowly taking Gage's hand and letting him pull him off of the seat. Ash's feet didn't quite get under him in time, but it didn't end up mattering as he found himself supported against Gage's strong chest.
"Yeah, but somethin' told me I oughta check the most dangerous, stupid place I could think of before checkin' Sanctum." Gage said, loosening his grip on Ash as he finally managed to get his legs situated and in a position to support his own weight. "I'm actually surprised it took you three days to try killin' yourself on your own. I thought it'd only take a few hours."
"I wasn't-"
"Ya were." Gage snapped quietly, cutting Ash's protests off. "Ain't no other reason to be standin' so close to the edge of somethin' so tall."
Flinching lightly, Ash looked down, frowning at the guilty feeling in his stomach. "I was just- I was looking around."
"Sure." Gage muttered, putting Ash's hat on his head. "I'm sure you woulda stayed exactly where you were if I hadn'ta started the ride up to getcha down."
Guilt quickly melting away, Ash laughed softly, surprising Gage. "Busted." He muttered, shoving Gage away and taking his hat back off. He swayed a little now that he was entirely supported on his own, but he managed to stay upright. "Wanna know how I got up there?" Ash asked, a chipper note to his voice. "I climbed. It took a really long time. I was gonna climb down too, eventually, but then the rain started." Humming, Ash turned his face to the sky, the lights all around catching his face at odd angles and making it look shadowed. "Then I thought "you know what would be faster?". I was thiiis close." He said, holding two fingers close together as he looked at Gage once again.
Eye narrowing, Gage stepped closer and tried to get a better look at Ash's eyes, holding his face steady so he could look at them. "Are you drunk or high?"
"Little high." Ash admitted, letting Gage turn his head this way and that. "Didn't take any drugs though."
Living around raiders most of his life meant that Gage was good at recognizing the different physical symptoms that different drugs had on a person. His knowledge of how drugs made people look was the only reason he believed Ash. Sighing, Gage released Ash's face and looked at him sternly. "Look, boss, I know you got somethin' wrong with you upstairs, I ain't never met nobody that didn't, but you got a whole-ass kingdom that needs runnin'. I ain't sayin' ya need to play safer or nothin' like that, but I am sayin' you need to work on your impulse control a little. It's one thing to almost die fightin' but that shit up there was intentional."
Smile morphing quickly into a frown and then a sneer as Gage spoke, Ash tilted his head. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have trusted the first random nobody suicidal enough to follow your crazy fucking plan centering around a goddamn squirt gun then, huh?" He asked, feeling nothing when Gage looked surprised. "I mean, what the fuck did you expect? Seems to me we both need to work on our impulse control." Then Ash laughed, snapping his fingers like he'd just remembered something. "Oh wait! Your shitty fucking idea wasn't an impulse! It was a carefully crafted plan!" Humming in a patronizing kind of way, Ash tilted his head in the other direction. "Bad impulse control and shitty planning skills. What a pair, huh?"
Gage's face had gone from surprised to neutral as Ash ranted and he nodded a bit once the teen was finished. "Feel better?"
Looking stricken by the question, Ash's expression switched between several emotions before settling on indignant anger. "Fuck you, Gage."
"Maybe later, boss." Gage said offhandedly, tossing Ash's pack at him. "Right now we need to get outta this rain."
Catching his pack, Ash went to say something again, to argue or yell or something, but Gage grabbed his arm and used the device on his wrist to trigger a relay. For a moment, Ash was too shocked to be angry, and by the time he came out of it, Gage was already halfway up the stairs to his room. Torn between wanting to stab Gage in the back and the sinking feeling that he was the one in the wrong, not Gage, Ash just stood there. Eventually he found his way to his room, still warring but deciding to do it in dry clothes.
While he showered, Ash did his best to clean under his nails better. He hadn't thought about how hard it would be to get blood and chunks of burnt person out from under his nails when he'd decided on the approach he did. He hadn't thought. Did he ever think? That was a stupid question, of course he thought. Maybe that was the actual problem. It wasn't that he didn't think, it was that he listened to the bad thoughts that told him to do things like jump off ferris wheels and stab people he cared about.
Drying off, Ash walked out of the bathroom but froze when he saw Gage in his room, sitting at a desk and scribbling away in his book. Gage actually looked up when Ash came out of the restroom but he quickly looked away again when he realized Ash was naked and Ash decided that he cared for once, pulling a pair of pants on quickly before walking over to the desk. "Why are you in here?" He asked softly, not nearly as angry as he'd been earlier but still annoyed.
"Y'said I could come in here any time I wanted." Gage replied, still scribbling away. "I wanted."
Frowning deeply, Ash decided he didn't feel like dealing with Gage and walked over to a couch. Sitting down, Ash pulled a blanket around himself and made a cocoon from which he watched Gage scribble away. Quite a bit of time passed like that before Ash decided he needed to swallow his pride and listen to the other voice for once. "Gage?" He asked softly, tone considerably more gentle now.
"Yeah, boss?" Gage asked, still not looking up from what he was doing.
"I'm sorry." Ash said quietly, pulling his blanket tighter around himself and looking down when Gage looked at him.
"Is that right?" Gage asked, sounding unimpressed, almost uncaring.
Flinching lightly, Ash sighed. "Yes. I-I didn't mean any of it. And- you're right. I do need to learn how to control myself."
After some silence, Gage set his pencil aside and stood up. Ash looked up at him as he walked over and Gage moved Ash's blanket away from his head. Cupping the teen's cheek, Gage tilted his head up some and then slapped him across the face. Ash gasped and cupped his face, looking more shocked than anything and Gage raised a challenging eyebrow at him when he looked up.
Hesitating, Ash smiled and huffed out a little laugh, looking down. "Yeah, alright. I deserved that." He admitted softly, rubbing at his cheek a bit before letting his hand drop.
Nodding in agreement, Gage went back over to his seat and got back to work. He let Ash bundle back up and stew for a bit longer before he spoke up again. "I forgive you."
Letting out a sigh of relief that he hoped Gage didn't hear, Ash stood up and walked over to the older man. He looked at what Gage was doing and climbed up onto the desk, earning a confused, surprised look from Gage as he sat cross-legged on the smooth wooden surface. "Eighty-seven." Ash said, looking down at the book.
"What?" Gage asked, still surprised and now even more confused.
Pointing at the numbers Gage was currently going over, Ash looked down at him. "This totals eighty-seven."
Leaning back in his chair, Gage looked at Ash in disbelief. "Ya did that in your head?"
"I'm good at math." Ash replied, shrugging lightly and watching as Gage laughed incredulously before putting the number down. Gage flipped to the next page and Ash quickly calculated all the numbers there, giving Gage the total again. This carried on for about an hour before Gage set his pencil aside and sighed deeply.
"Well, that does it. The books have been officially balanced." He said, sounding equal parts relieved and triumphant. "Thanks, by the way. I don't know what they taught people back in pre-war schools, but that was pretty impressive."
Smiling softly, Ash nodded. "I'll help you with the books from now on if you want. I always liked math."
Finally finding his smile, Gage nodded. "Sounds good, boss."