Characters: Laurence the first Vicar/Ludwig the Holy Blade

Summary: On the way to Odeon Chapel, seeing the Amydgala triggers bad memories in Laurence.

(Author's note: Another piece that is set post Frenzy. A short explanation, even though it also is in the story: Laurence has faced an Amydgala, got grabbed, got a full frenzy bar and then was in a catatonic state for weeks.)

"Are you sure that you want to go, Laurence?", Ludwig asked, nothing but worry in his brown eyes as Laurence fixated his vicar robe and slung the holy shawl around his neck.

"Yes, I have been away for too long.", he replied. "I can't leave the people who come praying in Odeon Chapel waiting forever. They deserve to see their vicar."

"I am just worried about you.", Ludwig said. "You haven't been out of the wheelchair for long and you still have to take sedatives. Speaking of, have you taken your dose?"

"Ludwig, now you start to sound like Florence.", Laurence scoffed. "You are not my mom, you are my bodyguard. And my boyfriend, but we keep that to ourselves." Laurence looked at Ludwig who hadn't reacted to his teasing at all, instead was clutching his Holy Moonlight Sword with both hands. So hard that his knuckles turned white. "Ludwig, relax.", Laurence said. "I have taken my sedatives. We just need to go over to Odeon Chapel, get in there, hold a mass and then get out. We can do that."

"...I never want to see you in such a state again...", Ludwig said.

"You won't.", Laurence casually spoke, hoping that Ludwig would finally relax. He actually was more freaked out than Laurence about the trip. "My frenzy happened when the creature grabbed me. I don't plan going so close to them ever again." He shuddered a bit at the memory.

"I still can't see it.", Ludwig said. "But it has to exist... because you can't just have gotten ill from nothing. Laurence, are you sure the creature has been sitting on Odeon Chapel ever since?"

"...Since the day I broke out of my Frenzy there wasn't a single day where I couldn't see it.", Laurence said. "I want to believe it is a messenger of the Great Ones, like Ebrietas, but..." What the creature had shown him had been ugly and unnerving. Laurence couldn't actually remember it, but it had been enough to lock him into a catatonic state for weeks.

"But?", Ludwig inquired.

"...I don't know.", Laurence said. "Fact is, I got hurt by going near it, so I won't do this anymore. It's that simple."

"If you say so.", Ludwig said, not sounding completely convinced. "Just know, Laurence, that I will get you away as soon as you can't handle it anymore."

"That's fine.", Laurence said, brushing his hair, making sure that his curls were falling just right, "My doctor also said that I shouldn't force myself to face my trauma. I will be fine. I just need to go into Odeon Chapel, hold the mass and get out and nothing bad will happen."

Expect, the last time Laurence had done exactly that, something bad had happened. Even though he had gone back to Odeon Chapel on his own regards alone and at night, how could he had been so stupid in hindsight, it definitely counted as something bad. He could have been lost forever if not for Florence finding a clinic where he could get treatment.

"I am ready.", Laurence said, grabbing his threaded cane. From the outside it looked like a completely usual walking cane, but there was a sharp blade hidden in the inside. Even if Ludwig was by him and he already had his Holy Moonlight Sword resting over his shoulder, Laurence felt safer when he carried around a weapon on his own. "Let's go then."

The walk from the Grand Cathedral to Odeon Chapel wasn't a long one. It was thirty minutes when you would hurry and one hour when you took your time. Ludwig had insisted that they would leave early, so Laurence wasn't walking fast. They would even have room to prepare the mass, should they need the a full hour to arrive. He didn't see any reason to walk faster.

On the way, him and Ludwig chatted about this and that, they didn't often had the time to talk so freely with each other, both being buried in their work (especially Laurence after having sick for far too long), so Laurence greatly enjoyed the walk, that turned out to rather uneventful. No protestors or leftover Vilebloods this time. It was perfect.

Though the nearer they managed to get to Odeon Chapel, the more nervous Laurence became and in conclusion, he was barely responding to what Ludwig was saying anymore. At one point Ludwig even nudged Laurence, a bit more violent than Laurence was used from him.

"Ow, what was that for?", Laurence complained, rubbing his arm. It felt like it would bruise.

"Oh good, you are still there, Laurence.", Ludwig said, visibly relieved. "I have told you again and again, when you stop speaking, that makes me really really nervous. Are you sure we should continue?"

"My apologies, I was... thinking.", Laurence said. "I want to move on. Please, Ludwig, I need to be able to do this." He couldn't avoid Odeon Chapel for the rest of his life. Laurence didn't plan to step down as the vicar yet.

"I want to trust you, Laurence.", Ludwig said. "But it's hard. I never want to see you in that state again."

"Believe me, I don't want to be in it either.", Laurence said and clung to Ludwig's arm. Even though it was far from official that the two were a couple, Laurence felt safer with his boyfriend's warmth near.

Soon, Odeon Chapel came into view. , Laurence thought to himself. Just go straight into and get it over with. Don't. Look. Up.

Why Laurence decided to look up anyway he didn't know, it must have been some morbid curiosity. Of course the creature was still there, sitting there seemingly unmoving, but it was clearly breathing. Then, its eyes seemed to lock on him. All of them blinking at once.

Laurence froze and felt completely unable to take another step. He couldn't go any nearer. If he... if he would go into the creature's reach, it would grab him and... and...

…then his head would hurt and he would see pictures that he didn't want to see and he probably would piss himself in fear and shock and...

Ludwig was shouting something from far away, but Laurence couldn't hear it. He had to protect himself. He needed to make himself as small as possible, not thinking about anything or anyone, just don't let the creature see him. He couldn't even see anything outside of the creature, the rest of Yharnam seemed to have been swallowed by a pure dark.

"...rence. Laurence!", Laurence opened his eyes and blinked slowly, seeing Ludwig's face over him, tears in his eyes.

"...Ludwig?", Laurence said, half aware that he was laying on the ground.

"Oh, thank the Great Ones. You are back.", Ludwig sniffled and hugged Laurence so tight that he had to gasp for air. Ludwig released the hug in an instant: "I am so sorry. Did I hurt you?!"

Laurence shakily shook his head, his head felt dizzy and something warm was running over his lips. As he licked over them, he noticed that it was blood. A nosebleed.

"What happened?", Laurence asked.

"Once we came closer to Odeon Chapel, you stopped and were refusing to go any further. I wanted to ask you if we should return to the Grand Cathedral, when you started to violently shiver and sank onto your knees. I wanted to get you and drag you out of there, but you wouldn't move an inch, your whole body was locked up. I would have hurt you when I would have tried to force you to move.", Ludwig explained. "Then you got a nosebleed and I got even more worried."

"Huh, I don't remember any of this.", Laurence said. The only thing he remember was how scared he had been.

"I thought that you maybe had a relapse, so I was holding you and calling your name over and over, until you... until you finally responded.", Ludwig said, his voice quivering.

"I am sorry that I have worried you that much, Ludwig.", Laurence said and sighed. "It seems I still don't manage to enter Odeon Chapel... We need to find another place for Central Yharnam to hold masses."

"I guess I should tell Father Gascoigne that you can't come, but... I don't want to leave you alone, Laurence.", Ludwig had his hands on Laurence' shoulders and Laurence very much would have preferred for them to stay there.

"I just get Florence to him once we are back. She also can discuss with him another chapel to hold masses. At least until I feel comfortable with Odeon Chapel again.", Laurence got slowly on his feet, being supported by Ludwig, who gently guided him away from the chapel as he searched for a handkerchief to press against his bleeding nose.

As they went the way back they had been come, Laurence turned around one last time and confirmed that the creature in fact still was there.

"Amydgala...", he murmured to himself.

"What?", Ludwig said, hyper aware about everything Laurence had to say.

"The part of the brain that is responsible for fear...", Laurence explained. Fear. The creature was responsible for fear. Like the amydgala in his brain. It was the perfect name for it.

Laurence just wished that it would have stayed the only Amydgala he would meet during his life.

(Author's note: Laurence didn't pay much attention to the nosebleed, because he gets them all the time, he is very prone to them, especially under stress.)