Hello everyone, tis I, Terrence! I decided to collab with da Nard once again. Please send help. Though I doubt much of you seen the first time but that's ok. Warning. May contain references, drugs, and dead memes.
Now, without further ado, unto th-
WAIT WAIT
What is now Deadpool?
Your cookie jar is empty!
OH, GOD DAMN IT!
Mmph, my bad. I didn't get any last time and I felt left out. By the way, year old cookies are kinda stale.
What the fu-? NERD!
Yeah?
Why are you here!?
Oh, I'm here to watch the shitshow. You know, really let that Post-Nut clarity sink in before getting on to the DEADPOOL'S BOGUS JOURNEY special at the end of the Peter and Neo story.
D-Did you just plug yourself?...In your own story?
Uh, yesir.
Warning: this fic is nonstop stupidity. And it's all Terry and the Nerd's fault.
Dude, I fucking died in that smut fic, don't pin anything on me right now. Blame Deadpool.
Yeah, fuck you Deadpool.
Hey. Fuck you too, buddy. I wanted a sandwich
*sigh* Onto the story I guess *cough* *cough* I might hav-
Guest What If? #2: Terrence Boogaloo: AKA What If? #4
What the FUCK!?! Who chose this name!?!
Oh yeah, that was me. I thought the title looked funny if it had two subtitles.
Uuuuuuuughh...Why am I being the straight man here?
"Alright you two nobody move!" said a bald, English sounding criminal holding a gun at Spider-Man and Deadpool with a bunch of other hostages and other people with guns.
"No don't shoot! He can strip for y-OW" Deadpool clutched his chest after getting shot, "What the hell man, I thought we were tight!" Spidey was already pissed off at Deadpool and couldn't care less about his cries for pain. All he could do was sigh in disappointment.
The criminal pointed the pistol to Spider-Man and then back to Deadpool, "Alright Spidey. You better tell me where it is or else your friend gets shot!" he commanded.
"Oh no! Not Deadpool! He's my best friend!" said Spider-Man sarcastically as he held his hands to his face.
"You son of a bit-OW!" cried Deadpool as he gets shot again.
"Yo. If you didn't want me to bust your head chuckle-nut, you should've told me where it was earlier!" the criminal commanded as he shot Deadpool in the foot this time causing the merc to cry out in pain and hop around.
"Look, Mason, we can sort this out now and we can get high again la-OW" cried Deadpool as the criminal shot him…again, "That was my favorite rib."
FREEZE FRAME! Whoah, now you may be wondering how I, the ever awesome motherfucking Deadpool got in this situation. Or why Mason and his friends are called criminals. To which I say they are not. You see. It all started when…fuck I think I forgot my pants.
DEADPOOL DON'T FLASH THE AUDIENCE!!
Much earlier...
Spider-Man was sitting around his room, just chilling simultaneously watching the news and playing some video games, "I don't care what anybody says, Resident Evil 3 Remake, while kinda bare, is still a solid game. I mean, mechanically I'd argue it's the best in the series. But I do wish it had mercenaries mode at least." as Spider-Man conversed with...no one his door was suddenly kicked in. Well, not kicked in, more like, the guy tried to kick open his door but ended up just kicking his foot through the wood.
"Oh, god dammit." a voice complained as the form of Deadpool came in, struggling to get his foot out of the door. "Yo, what's up Spider-Dude! Want to go on another, wacky, zaney, retarded adventure?" asked the merc.
Spidey cocked a lens in confusion, "Okay firstly, I don't think we can say 'retarded' anymore. Like, people may get the wrong idea or something. Secondly, did you just kick down my door?" he asked as Deadpool finally ripped his leg out from the door with large chunks of wood sticking out.
"Answer my damn question!" Deadpool shouted, getting strangely aggressive and pointing a pistol at Spider-Man.
"Well I can't answer your damn question after you kicked my door i-Wait…are those syringes on your arm?"
"Uh…." Deadpool hesitated, thinking about his bucket list.
1: Get high with Mason
Even More Earlier...
Play: Pink Guy – Balls
Deadpool opens the door to his appartment to see a bald British man standing inside, "Well Deadpool I made it. Despite your directions...and I think I might've ran over a guy" the man, Mason, said as he had his hands on his hips. "You know I gotta say your appartment is...well, to be quite frank, it's shit." he said as both he and Deadpool looked around at the peeling wallpaper, leaks in the ceiling, broken windows, empty fridge and ceiling fan that had one blade.
Deadpool only laughed and waved his hand as if it wasn't anything important. "Oh no Mason! Do you have insurance?" Deadpool asked, referring to the man Mason ran over.
"Nope. I just fucking hate that bastard. So I just straight up killed him." laughed Mason.
"Hehe nice. Well to celebrate, I hope you'll enjoy our incredible once a month weed fest." said Deadpool tossing Mason a bag "Just munch in that while I'll get everything ready. We'll be so high you'll think we're Bluntman and Chronic." Mason cocked an eyebrow in confusion, "Jay and Silent Bob." he explained. Mason still looked confused, "Harold and Kumar?" still nothing leading Deadpool to sigh, "Cheech and Chong?"
"Ohhhh." Mason smiled in understanding, "Sweet shit bro." he coughed as he snorts the bag before dusting his top hat "Heh. I'm a bloody pickle. Funniest shit from a nappie I've seen from the queen." he laughed plopping down on the ground.
That dude's already way past high because even I couldn't decipher what the fuck he was saying. Nappie? Queen? I'm sorry, I only speak English, not Union Jack.
"Alrighty. Put that here, and that...here and there." said Deadpool as he put ingredients in the oven "*Gasp* OH GOD!" Deadpool shouted in horror "I'm out of nicotine!" he then looks to his neighbors apartment across the way, "But what if… I were to steal some of that person's nicotine fun and use in my special brand cocaine? Hi. Great idea as always me." Deadpool said while smiling, his mask practically lifting off his face from how big it was. He opened a window and right when he was about to jump Mason opened the door.
"Oi, Deadpool, the fuck are you doing?" Mason asked.
"Mason! I was just about to grab some nicotine gum. Want to join me?"
Mason cocked an eyebrow, "I thought you were just stretching your calves on the window seal"
"Nah man. But care to join me?" Deadpool asked again before turning on the oven.
"Nah fam. I'll stay here." said Mason leaving to go lie back down on the couch.
"Suit yourself." Deadpool shrugged about to jump, "Am I really going to leave the oven on?... OF COURSE I AM!" he jumped out the window towards the neighboring apartment.
Mason, before sitting back on the couch walked to a cabinet containing jars of "Lemonade." "Whoah I love Lemonade! More than I love tea!!" said Mason opening a jar and proceeded to drink it. As he took a sip he started thinking how strange it was that full jars of lemonade were in a cabinet and not the fride. It took him seconds to realize what it actually was causing him to drop the jar and spit, "BARMY BALLS-UP! That was piss"
"*GASP* My piss jar senses are tingling! BUT I NEED THAT NICOTINE GUM!" said Deadpool despite being far away knowing that one of his piss jars is out of place but continuing on his journey.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold up, why does Deadpool have jars of piss?
For when I need a clean urine sample obviously.
That...makes a lot more sense actually. Okay, continue.
Later...
Deadpool came back to the apartment shortly after stealing the supplies he needed, "Mason I hope you are ready for my special edition coke!" Deadpool smiled, unaware of the smoke
"I would fancy some- holy SHIT! We have a problem!" Mason cried out upon seeing the kitchen looking like someone threw down a smoke bomb.
"Oh please. It's just...shit." Deadpool snapped his fingers in annoyance while Mason still gave a worried face, "Oh well, I'll come up with something better. Why don't you take a leave and I'll call you when I have some time."
Mason looked at the kitchen and the house fire to be and then back at Deadpool with a very confused face, "Alright mate" said Mason as if nothing happened while putting in a tissue for his bloody nose whilst leaving. "Fucking weirdo, man."
Back to the Present...
"I'll tell you later" Deadpool said, waving off the question as if it was noting while Spiderman finished fixing his door. The two stopped briefly when they heard the sound of an explosion that that was probably a great distance away. "Ignore that" Deadpool grinned realizing that was the apartment with the meth lab he was in earlier. The two looked to the TV to see a breaking news report about a meth lab that blew up on the outskirts of Brooklyn, "And that." he said quickly as he turned off the TV.
"*sigh* I give up…." Spider-Man groaned, giving up on asking questions as Deadpool clearly planned on not giving any context. Deadpool then grabbed him by the shoulder and began pushing him out the door.
"Wait… are we still in that RWBY world?" Deadpool asked as he looked around Spider-Man's room, "Because this room looks very Sam Raimi-ish."
"Ruby what?" Spidey asked with a cock of his lens.
"You know that place where-forget it. This obviously isn't the same universe. But it's still the same me, baby!. Ha" Deadpool laughed as Spider-Man continued to look at him in confusion, "Ah well. You want to join me for my day?"
"Um, Deadpool. I actually have pl-"
"That's good to know!" said Deadpool as he dragged Spider-Man away "But uhh, hey, why are you in the suit?"
"Eh. I just felt like it." Spidey shrugged.
"Whatever," Deadpool waved off, "LETS GO DOWN MY BUCKET LIST!"
"You have a bucket a bucket list?" Spidey asked, "Wait, you can't die, why do YOU have a bucket list."
I too have been meaning to ask why he has a bucket list.
Yeah, me t--Wait, wait. You wrote this story, why are you questioning it?
"It's Thursday Spideyboi. It's that time of the month again for me!" Deadpool smiled as he pulled a list out of nowhere.
2: Play chicken like retarded people
Later...
"YO MASON, LOOK WHO DECIDED TO JOIN US!!" Deadpool cried out as he dragged Spider-Man over to nearby a highway. Literally, like he pulled Spider-Man by his arm as his body dragged along the concrete.
Mason's eyes widened in surprise and he instinctively cocked his gun and pointed it at the vigilante, "Spiderman!" he shouted out before firing off a round and missing.
"WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! Relax he's not doing anything other than keep us alive." Deadpool plesded as Mason calmed down and the threw a bag at Deadpool.
"Try this man." Mason smiled, snorting another bag as he adjusts his top hat.
"Wait Deadpool your not gon-" Spidey tried to stop Deadpool, but he could already see him snorting the bag, "too late..." Spider-Man sighed while he facepalmed. Spidey looked at the two crazy men as he picked up the back Mason through at Deadpool. "Weird." he mumbled as he looked at the white powder. He lifted his mask just above his nose and stuck his finger in the powder before tasting it, "This is All Purpose Flour."
"Wanna play chicken!" said an intoxicated Mason.
"HELL YEAH I WANNA PLAY CHICKEN!" An intoxicated Deadpool cried out with comically large eyes. Spider-Man realized Deadpool snorted the whole bag and he could only rub his temples in frustration. It's not even drugs, how is this happening!? Spidey thought.
"Wait...what?" Spider-Man asked as Deadpool and Mason giggle like children and run onto the highway. He shot weblines at them to pull them back. Luckily he got Mason who held onto his hat as he got yanked back. But Deadpool perfect dodged to avoid the sticky substance. To nobody's surprise there was aggressive honking before Deadpool got hit by a car. "Of course." Spidey groaned, again rubbing his temples.
"WHOAHOAH I FEEL GREAT!" Deadpool shouted as the car immediately drove past him, "Annnnnd immediately I realize drivers are assholes."
"Deadpool, if you jump when you get hit, you'll fly faster!" yelled Mason
"What?" Spidey asked looking as if he was gonna have an aneurism.
"EY! Great idea!" Deadpool giggled even more as there was a speeding truck heading right at him. Deadpool jumped just as he was struck and went flying over the overpass, "OW! WHOOHOOOO!" cried out Deadpool as he was flung several feet away eventually crashing into a parked car, "Hey was that Jameson's car? Well I hope it was cuz fuck that guy." Deadpool chuckled while he pulled up his mask to spit out a tooth.
"That was awesome!" yelled Mason as Deadpool then got knocked down by another car as it backed out of a parking space. When he got up his head was backwards and his fibula was poking out of his skin.
"Hmm…my neck is the wrong way," Deadpool quickly spun his head around before realizing that it wasn't his head that was backwards, but his mask. He then fixed his head and then his mask, "That's better." Deadpool exhaled and stretched. Spider-Man and Mason have a queasy feeling just from the sight of that "What?"
3: --shopping cart race-- Chimichanga Robbery
Later...
"Hey Deadpool I dare you to ride like the wind in a shopping cart" Mason laughed as he turned on the camera for his phone and pointed it at Deadpool. Deadpool scoffed and flipped Mason the double middle finger and jumped into a shopping cart.
Deadpool cleared his throat slightly before staring directly into the camera, "Hi, I'm Wade Wilson, and welcome to Jackass." he laughed as he began gaining speed in the shopping car. "To infinity and beyond!" he shouted while riding the cart down a hill crashing through window into a 7-Eleven. Deadpool stood up and wiped glass off his suit while he checked his surroundings, "Huh, didn't expect to be here but whatever." he shrugged.
"D-Deadpool!?" cried the cashie
"What up biatch!"
Cringe 90's slang.
Shutup.
Deadpool cocked his gun and pointed it at the cashier, "Where the chimichangas!?" he asked
"Uh….. over there?.. please, don't kill me." begged the cashier as he began to receive a pat on the head from Deadpool before he ran to grab as many chimichangas as he could and ran way back up to Spider-Man and Mason. Spidey sighed as he walked into the 7-Eleven and reluctantly paid for the stolen food.
"Sorry about that." Spidey then slipped the cashier a paper with Deadpool's address as well as instructions as what to name the bill when he has Deadpool pay for damages.
The cashier cocked an eyebrow, "This happen often?"
Spidey sighed again and slumped his shoulders, "Unfortunately."
"Ooh can I have one?" Mason asked trying to reach a chimichunga
"No!" said Deadpool, casually smacking his hand away.
4: Watch Hentai
Okay, as I'm looking through this, I want to point out to anybody from the UK. Yes, this is how every American thinks you sound. You'll see what I mean in a bit.
Later...
"Aah, I love this show." Deadpool grinned watching a very kinky hypnosis.
"Damn. And you said this was called hentai?" asked Mason. "Bloody hell this amount of starkers is a real ace. I'd say that nutter would be knackered by the morning with that. In fact I should show this the next time I go to a stay party when I go back to Blighty"
What?
What?
"What?" Spider-Man asked.
Time-out, why is Peter watching Hentai? Ben is the cultured conisoure.
He's in Japan though.
...Okay, well just because you aren't wrong doesn't mean you're right.
"He's British Spidey. I have no idea what the hell he says sometimes." Deadpool said as he ate some popcorn.
"Bob's your uncle, Deadpool. I should watch more of this 'Hentai.'" said Mason as he ate more popcorn while he watching it, "In fact. This completey makes up for the time some plonker knicked my chips."
Okay, fuck off. 'Bob's your uncle'? 'Plonker'? You're fucking with me, right?I swear to God!It's infuriating because I don't have the patience to see if these are real idioms or if you're lying. I'll just put a disclaimer before the section starts
"Knicked…chips?" Spider-Man asked while cocking a lens.
"That last part is him saying that someone stole his french fries." Deadpool said confidently. Spider-Man then looked at him curiously, "I know I don't understand much either." Deadpool sighed.
5: Break into some place and steal some shit
Later...
Play: Pink Guy – I have a Gun
A security guard patrolled around a hidden warehouse basking in the bright sun. "Ah. What a great day. And nothing could go-" he was cut off by the sound of an explosion, "WHAT WAS THAT!?" yelled the guard who ran to the sound and saw a car drive from the dust and flames.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cheered Mason as he drove a Cadillac with a beer bottle in one hand and the other hand on the wheel. He then crashed into a wall to which he remained unharmed. "*Buuuurp* You guys better giv-" Mason then blacks out from the amount of beer he had and falls out of the Cadillac.
"Wh-What!?" asked the guard right when he was about to deal with Mason, a very confused expression on his face. A full alarm blared as he heard gunshots coming from all over the compound. Then the guard looked up in the air to see what appeared to be Deadpool on a broken jetpack as he crashed into the building. To which he shortly rose up seemingly unharmed.
"JUST COME AT ME MOTHERFUCKERS!" Deadpool yelled while running out of the building shooting his pistols like no tomorrow, taking out every nearby guard in his sight. The guard then turned around to see Mason wasn't at the broken Cadillac anymore to which caused him to panic slightly as not only was this place attacked by drunk man. But by Deadpool as well.
Mason then caught up with Deadpool as well as Spider-Man. "What a minute why am I here?" Spider-Man asked, appearing out of nowhere next to Deadpool as he doesn't remember why he came with them.
"To help us steal shit of course" said Deadpool as they both watched Mason jump through a window as more gunshots rained down on them. The trio hid out until the firing stopped before continuing. The trio approached a door and Mason took a swig of alcohol before shoulder ramming the door and having it collapse.
"*Belch* We are in mates!" Mason cheered as Deadpool and Spiderman (though reluctantly) followed him in to see a bright shining light. "It's beautiful!" Mason gasped while wiping away a tear.
"Magnificent!" said Deadpool
"Wait what are we looking at?" Spider-Man asked as the bright light stopped.
"Tobacco Doritos… and the physical ingredients to it as well. In fact. I think that's the 69 Nicotine edition." Said Mason as he and Deadpool grab bags and start packing as much stuff as they can inside burlap sacks.
The fucking what? Okay. PNC must be hitting me hard because...I am completely lost.
Just roll with it.
"Uh guys I think all security is heading for us" Spider-Man warned.
"SHIT. There's going to be too many to deal with." Deadpool said as he bit his lower lip and tapped his chin anxiously "Okay, I've got it. TO THE BATHROOM!"
"But how are we going to get there!? The Cadillac is busted!!" Mason complained.
"This." Deadpool said as he gets a tiny shopping cart to which grew to normal sized. Kinda like a Capsul from Dragon Ball.
"Deadpool that's a shopping cart with a wheel and...Is that a rocket?" asked Spider-Man as he looked at the vehicle.
"I know, get in." Deadpool commanded as he pointed at the cart. The three of them then get into it as Deadpool lights a fuse in the rocket. The fuse went all the way to the end and Spider-Man gripped the side of the csrt tightly bending the metal slightly. Unfortuantely the ricet didn't blow leaving Spider-Man very confused. "Just wait for it." Deadpool assured as he used one foot to give the cart a slight push. Suddenly there was a hissing sound like the fuse was still burning and the outside of the rocket blew off to show a smaller rocket inside with a ridiculously long fuse.
"DEADPOOL!" Spidey shouted, "This is no times for jokes we seriously need--" the rocket burst into flames and blasted the cart forward causing them to bust through the brick wall.
Mason tried to use the wheel to steer as they rode super fast. To which many security defenses, guards and turrets started shooting at them. Mason tried to keep his head down as much as he could whilst trying to steer, Spider-Man casted an iron grip in the cart to keep him from flying off. And Deadpool had his hands flying in the air like a rollercoaster. "This is so much fun!!" said Deadpool, "Whoo!"
The cart unsteadily drove around many security defense and ran over a couple guards as the trio mainly tried to avoid the bulky, heavily armored and probably over 7'0" guards and their miniguns shooting at them. "We're totally fucked" Mason cried
"Nah man. Just listen to where I tell you to drive and we'll be fine." Deadpool assured as he kept his hands up enjoying the ride as he points right, "TO THE RIGHT!" he shouted.The cart swerves to the right thankfully avoiding a grab from the giant guard to which he then revved up his minigun and started shooting. "QUICKLY TURN THERE!" said Deadpool "HAHAHA!"
"But that's in a building!" Mason shouted.
"JUST DO IT!"
The cart the smashes through a window driving past an office full of boxes, staff, guards, and defenses. "The bathroom should be right around the corner!" said Deadpool as the rocket suddenly ran out of power and all they had left was the momentum of the cart.
"Guys?" Spidey said pointed ahead.
"HOW THE FUCK IS THAT GONNA HELP!?" said Mason as Deadpool tried hitting the rocket.
"Guys!?" Spider-Man yelled again.
"BECAUSE I KNOW THE DAMN THING WORKS!" Deadpool shouted back.
"GUYS!" said Spiderman
"What!?" both Mason and Deadpool yelled back.
"EDGE!" said Spider-Man as he tried to use his webs which for some reason didn't work as the cart busted through the fence and fell.
"WHOAAA!" the three of them yelled as Mason was set flying into a window, Deadpool fell through the juicer room and Spider-Man landed on the ground. Then Deadpool then ran out of the juicer seemingly unscathed.
"No scratch, like a boss!" said Deadpool cockily before his arm popped off, "….fuck" he then reattached his arm and noticed Spider-Man on the ground, "C'mon Spidey! Mason is already there!" said Deadpool jumping in the window.
Spider-Man sighed as he slowly got up. "Moon Knight. I think the next time I hang out with a crazy person it'll be Moon Knight. At least he does his vigilante job well." Spider-Man then joined the other two shortly after.
"Alright guys. I have good news and great news." said Deadpool cheerfully as they can hear lots and lots of footsteps coming closer.
"Uh…" Mason rubbed his head nervously as the footsteps got louder. "Ok what's the good news?" Mason asked.
"I have a way out." Deadpool nodded.
"And the great news?" asked Spider-Man.
"These toilets are clean!" said Deadpool putting some golden salt which caused the toilet water to turn blue. "Now stick one foot in." he and Mason did so but Spider-Man stayed back. "Come on, Spidey."
"What!? I'm not doing that!" Spider-Man said, nearly shivering at the idea of going through New York's sewage system. I've seen the sewers, thank you."
"I said it's clean." Deadpool said again as he pointed to the blue water. Spider-Man reluctantly putshis foot in. Deadpool then flushed which caused them to swirl like crazy then down the hole as if they were made of jello.
"THIS IS SO GROSS!" Spidey shouted.
"Awe, come on! Think of it like a warp pipe from Mario!" Deadpool laughed.
"Heh you are right, they are clean!" said Mason as the three of them were sliding down the magically enlargened pipes until they hit a door.
"OOF!" Deadpool grunted.
"Ow!" Spider-Man seethed.
"MY LEG!" Mason yelled.
"Ok, guys I got this." Deadpool said calmly as he then puts quarters in the door making it open to which a bright light shone through and suddenly they were all inside and squished in a garbage can.
"Well guys. We are home free." Deadpool.
"This does not help." groaned Mason.
"Why did I even agree to this?" Spider-Man sighed as he punches the lid off giving him the ability to get out. "Next time I'm sending Kaine in my place.
"I am definitely going to feel that later." Mason said as he pushed himself out of the garbage can and pushed against his back, putting back into place and giving Deadpool the ability to leave the trash can as he then pulls out the two bags of stolen stuff.
6: Help the weirdo scientists with whatever the hell they are doing and get sweet rewards boi.
Later...
"Hey guys." Spidey waved lazily to Mason and Deadpool as he looked at a silent man standing in front of a store, "Okay, I'll bite, why are we here?"
"Pfft, It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it?" Deadpool snickered.
Shut up.
Shut up.
"Shut up." Spider-Man groaned.
"Ah, hello Gordon!" said a scientist to the silent man as he lets the four of them inside. "Another day another dollar. I see you brought some guests." the scientist said looking at Mason, Deadpool, and Spider-Man.
"We brought you guys some stuff." said Deadpool as he and Mason hands the scientist the bags full of the 69 Nicotine Doritos and it's ingredients.
"Ooo! Thank you so much!" said the scientist with a smile on his face.
"You see Spiderman. These guys are a privately funded science place where they try to develop stuff to get high on, portals, or spread the religion of weed." said Deadpool.
"Religion of weed?" Spider-Man
"It's not really one though. We just like to call it that as their shit is good as hell." said Deadpool as he hands the scientist three cards. One had a picture of Deadpool and said 'Totally Legit Passport'. Another had a picture of Mason's top hat and said 'Mason's Pornhub Pass'. And the last one is a crudely drawn spider man and said 'Let Me In Plz'.
"Ah. I see your guests brought their passports." said the scientist, "I am Dr Coomer. And I don't understand why I Spider-Man is here, but its good to see you and Mason again, Deadpool!" said Dr Coomer. He was an old balding man that looked like a stereotypical scientist.
"You know them?" Spider-Man asked with a cocked lens.
"Long story." said Deadpool as they all enter the secret lab. Deadpool then looks through a window to see two men testing experiments until one of them grabbed a toy gun and shot at another.
"Francis that's my ass you shot!"
"Sorry not sorry."
"Excuse me!?" suddenly the two men got into a fight while everyone else in the room started taking notes.
"Heh. These people are awesome." said Deadpool looking at another window to see another man attempting to solve a baby puzzle by putting a square in a triangle hole.
"It's hour seven, and this is bloody impossible!" said the man inhaling more stuff from a bong.
"I need some of the that" said Deadpool as Mason then drags him to catch up with everyone.
You dude, if that is fucking you up so hard basic cognitive abilities aren't working...I'm almost certain that's a liiiitle stronger than pot.
"Guys! He turned himself into a pickle!" said a random scientist as more scientists crowded around.
"That's way too funny hahaha!" said another scientist.
"Ooh, I want to see!" said Mason about to run over.
"No." said Deadpool and Spider-Man in unison and yanking Mason by his collar.
A little later...
"Alright Deadpool. Push the cart into the electricity shooting thing. And we'll have the best reward to your left." said Mason guiding Deadpool through a test.
"Got it." said Deadpool accidentally going right as he then slips causing the crystal to fall off the cart.
"Just toss the damn crystal in!" Mason yelled in frustration.
"No no! Do it slowly and on the cart!" said Dr. Coomer.
"YOUR OTHER LEFT!" yelled Mason.
"Good news guys. Necrosis has set in." said Dr Coomer "Hello Gordon!"
"IF YOU DON'T FUCKING PUT IT IN THERE I AM GOING TO EXPLODE!" cried out another scientist.
Deadpool then picks up the crystal and puts it back in the cart and pushed it the right way. Once he put it into the machine alarms began going off. "Fuck. I think I should've done that better." Deadpool gulped.
"DEADPOOL WE TOLD YOU TO DO IT CAREFULLY!" Mason yelled again practically giving himself an aneurism.
"Oh no! The power is overflowing! It's too much!" a scientist cried out, "YOU DID IT TOO FAST!"
"Sadly not the first time I've heard that." Deadpool mumbled.
"You should've had your passport on you!" said Doctor Coomer. Suddenly all the power shut down in the building.
"We'll try again later. Can someone turn on the backup power please?" Mason asked.
"Gordon I need spices." said Dr Coomer "But look on the bright side. At least we didn't have a big explosion causing more aliens to come to earth and invade us after otherworldly creatures come through the portal and wreck this facility."
"That is strangely specific." Spider-Man muttered.
"Hello Gordon!" said Dr Coomer with a smile.
Later after backup power is restored...
Nothing makes sense once you enter this section. Trust me. After the power went out there was basically an explosion which pretty much drugged everyone in the facility and they were high out of their minds. Trust me, you don't want to hear how any of this goes down, so we'll skip to the end.
7. All done
Later...
"Man that was so much fun. Let's do it again" said Deadpool as Mason blacked out drunk. Deadpool shrugged and turned back to Spider-Man, "So what do you want to do now we got rest of the day?"
"Fix my door and clean my house." Spidey groaned before flipping Deadpool the bird and leaving his slightly burnt apartment.
"...Fuck."
The God Damn End
Trivia1: I am in a cardboard box. Don't the Nerd I'm there.
2: If you found this to be ridiculous. It's on purpose.
3: The Nerd cut out a bunch of content.
4: Terry stole from Nerd's pantry as which is why he is in a cardboard box.
5: Originally Mason was going to have Boston accent. Until I changed it to British because I thought it would be funnier.
And I actually learned a good lesson.
Oh really? What's that?
No amount of money. Can get you a dinosaur.
How the fuck is that supposed to be a lesson?
You know, I learned a pretty valuable lesson too.
Oh god...
The next time I die, don't resurrect me.