Week 19: Away from it all

"What are we doing here?" Carla asked as she peered out of the car window at the country house hotel Nick had just pulled up in front of, gazing up at the imposing façade, the honey-coloured Bath stone structure gleaming in the morning sun.

"I just thought," Nick explained, "With all the stress you've been under lately, your mum passing and the funeral yesterday, you could do with a weekend away. Somewhere we could relax and unwind."

"We're staying here?"

"Yes," Nick nodded. "Unless of course you don't want to?"

"I do, I do," Carla affirmed. "I just… it's unexpected is all. Thank you."

Carla leaned over to where Nick was sat in the driver's seat and planted on his lips a quick peck of thanks.

"You deserve the break."

"Hang on," Carla protested. "I don't have anything with me. Change of clothes, shoes…"

"No need to worry, I packed a bag for you."

"Did you now?"

"Well, I didn't want to spoil the surprise, did I?"

"Are you saying…" Carla asked with the merest hint of a grin. "That you rummaged through my knicker drawer?"

"I did," he confessed. "I hope to later as well."

"Cheeky."

"Why don't you have a seat while I check us in," Nick suggested as they stepped into the entrance hall, with its vaulted ceilings lined with polished oak, its soaring arched windows fitted with brightly coloured and decorated panes of glass, and its two grand staircases, sweeping up to meet in the middle on the first-floor landing above.

As he ushered her towards the lounge area that flanked one wall of the lobby, a horrifyingly familiar voice called out to them.

"Yoo hoo!"

Carla and Nick both turned slowly on the spot to face what was frankly their worst nightmare at that moment in time.

"There you are," Gail cooed as she hurried towards the pair with Audrey, David and Kylie bringing up the rear. "We thought you'd got lost."

"Mum," Nick gasped, trying to regain control over his tongue. "What are you… What are you doing here?"

"Well, when you told me what you were planning, I thought why not make it a family getaway."

"That's, umm…" Carla stared at Gail, her eyes wide with shock. "Nice. Isn't that nice, Nick?" Carla turned her gaze on Nick, silently imploring him to do something.

"Yeah," Nick stammered, wholly ineffectual. "Very nice."

"So we're all agreed then," David added, unable to keep the smirk from his face. "It's nice?"

"Of course it's nice," Gail said as she stepped towards Carla. "Look at you," she gushed as she placed her hand on Carla's baby bump. "You're really showing now, aren't you? Hello, baby, it's granny Gail, mwah mwah mwah, yes it is!"

"Spending the weekend with your family is not exactly my idea of de-stressing," Carla said as she unpacked her overnight bag, placing the clothes Nick had packed for her in the wardrobe of their plush suite, decorated to suit the period of the house, with exquisitely carved floral details on the bedhead of the French tester bed and its domed canopy, from which heavy embroidered drapes hung all the way to the floor, Chippendale era polished mahogany and sateen brocade upholstered armchairs, and Hepplewhite inspired yew-wood side tables. But, when she pulled out a lacy barely-there thong from the bag, she held it in the air as if it was incriminating evidence found at a murder scene. "Really? This is what you decided to pack?"

"What? You look dead sexy in that."

"That's not the… doesn't matter. We were talking about your family invading our weekend away."

"I know," Nick shook his head. "I'm sorry, but what could I do? I couldn't exactly ask them to leave."

"Why not?"

"Look, I know it's not ideal but…" Nick shrugged. "They're here now. Why don't we make the best of it and I'll take you away, just the two of us, another time?"

"Hmm…" Carla considered him with narrowed eyes. "Don't tell anyone what you're planning next time, okay?"

"Don't worry, I've learned my lesson."

"And you better make that a long weekend, none of this overnight business."

"We could make it a week if you like?"

"Why not two?"

"Deal," Nick said with a smile. "So, does that mean I'm forgiven and you're going to at least try and have a good time this weekend?"

Carla sighed despondently but, on seeing Nick's face, knowing of his desire for everyone to get along, even if they had to pretend, she capitulated completely.

"Yes," she said. "I will have a good time. On one condition."

"What's that?"

"Can you please stop your mother from touching me," she asked, motioning towards her bump.

"I'll have a word," he promised.

"Thank you."

"So, are you ready to go downstairs and face them again?"

Carla took a deep breath in, letting it all out with a long sigh.

"You owe me, Tilsley," she said. "You owe me big time."

"I was looking at the brochures at reception earlier," Gail announced to the table as the family group ate lunch in the dining hall that was situated in the old orangery, so that diners could gaze out over the extensive hotel grounds as they ate. "I thought we could do an activity this afternoon."

"Why?" David asked, his nose screwed up in disgust at the thought of an organised family activity.

"Well, so we can bond… you know, as a family. Welcome Carla to the family."

"Can't we welcome her with a few pints in the bar?" Kylie suggested.

"We can do archery lessons," Gail said, ignoring Kylie as she flicked through the stack of brochures she had pulled from her handbag. "Or… ooh, look at this, they've got rock climbing, wouldn't that be fun?"

"Are you trying to kill us off or summat?" David asked.

"I'm with Kylie," Audrey declared. "A nice gentle stroll in the garden followed by a stiff G&T by the fire."

"Now you're talking," David congratulated his gran. "Everyone vote, who's for gran's idea?"

"But hang on a minute," Gail protested as all hands except hers were raised in the air in support of Audrey's proposition. "Surely we can do something a little more exciting than that!"

"Mum," Nick gently pleaded with his mother. "Carla's pregnant, remember? I don't think archery and rock climbing are the best things for her to be doing right now."

"Hmm…" Gail sniffed. "I guess you're right. Well, then, Carla, it looks like we'll be having a nice long walk together. We can have a good ole natter about the baby."

"Yeah," Carla said, plastering a smile on her face as Gail gazed at her expectantly. "Can't wait."

"It's like she's leading the troops into battle," Kylie whispered to Carla as they gathered in the lobby before their walk, while Gail fussed over everyone.

"Yep," Carla agreed. "She's like an unstoppable force of nature, that one."

"Are we all ready then?" Gail called out.

"Actually, Gail," Carla said, her one hand on her lower back and the other on her baby bump, rubbing it gently. "My back's a bit sore, you know, carrying this one around. Do you mind if I sit this out?"

"Oh," Gail said, her face a mixture of surprise and disappointment. "I guess if you don't feel up to it."

"Thanks, Gail."

"Why don't we all stay here with you?" Gail suggested. "We could play cards. It's been ages since we had a game of rummy."

"That's really not necessary," Carla said. "I wouldn't want everyone to miss out because of me. Maybe, I dunno, if Kylie wanted to stay and keep me company?"

"Me?" Kylie asked, surprised. "Yeah, sure."

"That's sorted then," Carla said. "Now you all go and enjoy your walk, we'll be just fine."

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Kylie asked Carla as they watched the rest of the family finally embark on their walk.

"Me?" Carla asked. "I'm perfectly fine."

"But–"

"I just wanted to get out of that walk.

"You cheeky–"

"Besides, they've got a spa here. I thought you and me could treat ourselves."

"Ahh, now you're talking my language."

"If you look over to your left," Gail said as she checked the map in her hand, reading the accompanying historical blurb. "You will see a folly built by the third baronet in the eighteenth century in the style–"

"There's just trees to the left, Gail dearie," Audrey pointed out impatiently.

"Oh," Gail looked up at the trees and then checked the map again. "Oh no, it's after we turn this next corner."

"What's a folly anyway?" David asked.

"I don't really know," Gail admitted, turning to her eldest for the answer. "Nick?"

"It's a building with no function," Nick explained. "Its whole existence is for decorative purposes only."

"Then why did they build it?" David wondered. "If it don't serve no purpose?"

"I dunno," Nick shrugged. "Because they could? Because they had the money to spare and wanted to show the whole world they could waste it on a grand scale?"

"So, what you're saying is," David said. "If you were living in the olden days, you woulda built a stupid folly instead of buying a flash motor?"

"No," Nick sneered. "Obviously I would've bought a flash horse and carriage, you numpty."

"Stop annoying your brother, David," Gail snapped.

"What–"

"Look," she stopped in her tracks, pointing out the small round stone tower that could now be seen, situated at the opposite side of a lake so placid its surface was like a mirror, while the arches of the folly crumbled under the weight of centuries. "Isn't that pretty."

"I thought you were gonna thump Gail earlier," Kylie said as she and Carla sat side-by-side in the hotel's spa while they were being treated to a pedicure. "The way she was pawing at you."

"I almost did," Carla freely admitted with a wry laugh. "If I wasn't in shock, she woulda been in trouble."

"She doesn't really do boundaries," Kylie said. "Especially where her sons are concerned."

"I've noticed."

"She's not the mother-in-law I'd have chosen, that's for sure."

"Luckily for me, she's not my mother-in-law."

"Not now."

"Not ever."

"What?" Kylie asked in disbelief. "You don't think you and Nick will get spliced some day?"

"No," Carla grimaced at the thought. "I've had quite enough of marriage, thank you very much. I'm in no hurry to rush into it again."

"You might feel differently when the baby's here."

"I don't see why," Carla shrugged. "Believe me, a piece of paper doesn't guarantee any sort of commitment. I reckon having a kid together is commitment enough."

"David's desperate to be a dad," Kylie mused.

"What? He wants you to have a baby?"

"No, I mean Max. He's still on at me to fight for custody."

"Oh," Carla was taken aback. "And what do you want?"

"You'll think I'm a total cow," Kylie sniffed in an effort to hold back the emotion that would insist on coming every time she thought about her son. "But, I don't want custody. Go on, tell me what a terrible mother I am."

"I'd never," Carla shook her head. "Why don't you want him?"

"Why? Because I've already messed him up enough."

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I love him! Don't you get it? That's why I don't want to fight for custody, because I'm not a good mother. He deserves better."

"He deserves a mum that loves him. That's it, that's all that matters. All the other stuff, that'll come with time. I have to believe that's true because… I am screwed if it's not."

"What do ya mean?"

"Because I don't know how to be a good mother," Carla shrugged. "No flaming idea. Never had one myself. My mother was… let's just say I don't know what it's like to be a child that is loved by a mother. But I know that I love my baby. And I know that I will do whatever it takes to make sure he or she is happy. And I know you will too."

"This is the life, innit?" David said as he threw stones onto the surface of the lake, watching as they skipped across the surface. "I reckon I woulda been good at this whole landed gentry lark."

"Yeah, right," Nick snorted with laughter.

"You think you woulda done better?" David sneered. "You fancy yourself as Sir Nicholas, do ya?"

"Shouldn't we get going?" Nick asked, eager to change the subject. "Catch up with mum and gran?"

"Nah," David shook his head. "I'm gonna head back to the hotel in a minute. See what Kylie's up to."

"You should've talked mum out of coming here."

"Why's that then?"

"You knew I wanted a quiet weekend away with Carla."

"What? Do we embarrass you? Hmm?"

"Don't be stupid."

"Do we embarrass you in front of your posh bird?"

"Oh, come on, David, you're being ridiculous."

"Not so posh though, getting knocked up from a one night stand, is it?"

"Hey!" Nick snapped, fronting up to David. "Don't talk about Carla like that."

"Why not?" David asked, stepping towards his brother, giving him a gentle shove. "You lot all talk crap about my wife."

"That's different," Nick retorted, returning David's shove.

"How?"

"Because," Nick faltered. "Carla's…"

"She's what?"

"Carla's different to Kylie."

"You're so up yourself, you know. You need taking down a few pegs."

"Do I now? And how are you gonna do that?"

David shoved Nick again, a wicked grin on his face. Nick shoved him back. And then they both paused, just for a moment, before they made their move.

"That," Kylie said as she and Carla wandered through the hotel's garden. "Was so good. I feel like a new woman."

"Careful," Carla laughed. "Or David might not recognise you."

"Ooh, no fear of that."

"Can you hear that?" Carla asked, pausing to listen to muffled sounds of grunting and panting. "There's no wild animals out here, is there?"

"Sounds like…" Kylie grimaced. "I dunno, someone having a little… alfresco lovin' if you know what I mean."

"Let's have a look."

"I don't wanna see that!" Kylie protested.

"Come on!" Carla grabbed a hold of Kylie's arm and dragged her off the path and through the line of trees that separated that section of the garden from the lake.

"Oh my god," Kylie gasped at the sight that met them.

"Oh jeeze, you can't leave these two alone for a minute," Carla said. "Don't mind us."

Carla and Kylie both stood and watched on in amusement as Nick and David grappled with each other as they wrestled in the dirt, neither wanting to be the first to give up the fight.

"Look at this!" Nick exclaimed as he held his trousers in the air, inspecting the grass and dirt stains that now covered them. "They're filthy!"

"Serves you right," Carla said with little sympathy for Nick's plight. "What were you thinking fighting David like that?"

"You didn't hear what he was saying."

"I really don't care. You shouldn't have taken the bait. You know what David's like, constantly pick pick pick. I've got a brother as well, don't forget. I know exactly what they're like."

"Yeah, well, he deserved it."

"If you say so," Carla muttered as she wandered into the bathroom.

Knock knock

"Hold on a minute!" Nick called out as he quickly pulled on a pair of clean trousers and hurried to the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Nicky love," Gail said as she pushed past Nick, followed closely by Audrey, who was gripping a bottle of wine in her hand.

"We've brought an offering," she said as she made a beeline for the small kitchenette area of the suite.

"I thought we were meeting downstairs?"

"We thought," Gail explained. "Wouldn't it be nice to drop by Nick and Carla's room for a little livener before dinner? Mam, get the glasses."

"I've got the glasses."

"Hey hey," David said as he and Kylie sauntered into the room. "Is this where the party's at?"

"Wine, David? Kylie?" Audrey asked.

"Nah, you're alright, Audrey," Kylie said. "We've brought some cans."

"What…" Carla demanded as she re-entered the room. "Is going on here?"

"We're having a party!" Gail announced. "Isn't this fun?"

"Nick," Carla hurried to confront Nick. "A party in our room?"

"What can I say?" Nick shrugged. "I come from a very close family."

"Too close if you ask me."

"Do you want me to ask them to leave?"

Carla looked across at the family, at Gail, Audrey, David and Kylie as they drank and made merry, enjoying each other's company.

"No," Carla shook her head. "They're fine. Besides, I should start getting used to having a family around that actually cares about each other. That wants to spend time with each other."

"How can you say that with a straight face after seeing me and David at each other's throats earlier?"

"You might fight and bicker and wind each other up," Carla conceded. "But you love each other really. And I know that, as much as you might try to make out that David is nothing but an irritant to you, you would do anything to protect him, help him out if he needed it, fight his battles if he couldn't. Don't try and deny it, I know you're a big softy."

"Hey, don't," Nick said. "You'll ruin my reputation as a hard-nosed businessman."

"It's already ruined with me," Carla said. "And thank goodness for that. Because baby wants a soft, cuddly daddy. And a family that's, well, mad as a box of frogs, but a family that loves each other."

"Lucky baby, hmm?"

"Very lucky baby."