Chapter 17

"Hm, interesting," Ginny said as she withdrew from Severus' mind. He blinked to clear the slight haze and looked up as Ginny stood and rolled her sleeves back down.

"Interesting-good?" Severus asked, always finding Ginny's expressions hard to read.

"I'm not sure," she said, looking at him with a scrutinising frown. "It seems like the magic holding the memories in place is degrading."

"Well, that's good isn't it?" Severus ventured hopefully.

"Possibly not," Ginny replied, and Severus felt a certain sense of panic wash over him. "Mind magic is notoriously unpredictable and my worry is that it might cause further damage if it continues to degrade."

Severus didn't know what to say; he didn't need the added concern of potential brain damage along with his lost memories to contend with. It felt like he was constantly taking one step forward and two steps back.

"I still feel our best bet would be to find the person who did this and make them reverse it. Have you heard anything from the aurors?"

"Only a few brief missives from Kingsley saying the investigation is ongoing," Severus said with a sigh. "They wouldn't be able to force the culprit to reverse it anyway, not legally."

"They couldn't," Ginny said smoothly, "but I could. And I will. That's a promise."

Damn but she should have been in Slytherin. His house had suffered a great loss when she had been sorted into bloody Gryffindor. He believed wholeheartedly that she would use whatever means necessary to help him but he wondered how likely an arrest actually was.

"Pa!" said Gabe excitedly as he barrelled into the room. "Uncle Remus and I have started a scientific experiment and I had to write out my hypoth…hypoth – "

"Hypothesis," Severus said with a smile as Gabe wrapped his arms around his waist. He combed his fingers through the boy's messy hair and said, "Are you all finished for the day?"

"We are, he's worn me out," Remus said with a smile, greeting his wife with a kiss. "I'll take a class of rowdy first years any day."

Gabe poked his tongue out at the man and grinned good-naturedly at him, then looked up at Severus and said, "Can Uncle Remus and Auntie Gin stay for dinner?"

"Of course."

"We don't want to impose," Remus said, slipping an arm around Ginny's shoulders.

"Speak for yourself," Ginny said with a snort. "I've had a pig of a day, I'm more than happy to let someone else cook for me."

Severus smiled and said, "I'll go and let Harry know." He dropped a kiss on his son's head and said, "Entertain your aunt and uncle for a bit, love."

Gabe disentangled himself and Severus made his way to the kitchen where Harry was already bustling about getting dinner ready. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around the man's waist and he let out a little 'oof' of surprise.

"Gin and Remus are staying for dinner if you don't mind," Severus said, nuzzling along his husband's neck.

"The more the merrier," Harry replied, running his hands over Severus' arms.

"Need any help?" Severus offered, laying a trail of kisses up to Harry's ear and nipping it lightly.

"It would help if you released me," Harry said with a laugh but made no move to extract himself.

"Mm, haven't had my fill yet," Severus murmured, and began to let his hands rove over Harry's flat stomach and slim hips.

It had been a week since Harry had moved back into their bedroom and Severus was enjoying every minute of it. He knew that there were boundaries, that Harry wouldn't sleep him, but Harry wasn't holding himself back anymore and allowed himself to be held and kissed without hesitation.

He was also beginning to initiate their physical encounters a little more and there was nothing sweeter than having Harry beneath him in their bed as he kissed him for all he was worth. He knew that Harry was struggling with things as they stood but Severus had no intention of ever leaving and he wanted things with his husband to find a new kind of normal.

"I'll never get dinner done at this rate," Harry complained, nevertheless pressing closer. God but Severus wanted him. He wanted to let his hands travel lower, to feel Harry's hardness and to find release for his own.

"Perhaps we should go to the pub instead," Severus murmured, sliding a hand beneath Harry's shirt and brushing his palm over smooth skin.

Harry laughed and finally pulled himself out of Severus' arms, turning around and bracing his hands on Severus' chest. "You're a terrible man. Go and peel those potatoes and behave yourself."

"Give me a reason to," Severus demanded, letting his hands travel lower until they cupped Harry's pert backside very lightly.

Harry leant up and pressed a kiss to Severus' lips then deepened it immediately, sliding his tongue into Severus' mouth and pressing their chests together. Severus gripped the man's backside a little more firmly and revelled in Harry's exquisite kiss.

"Enough of a reason?" Harry asked slyly, and Severus could have easily thrown him down on the kitchen table there and then and had his way with him.

"I may not have all my memories right now but I'd be willing to wager you always get your way, you little brat," Severus said, running his hands up and down Harry's back.

Harry grinned and said, "Gabe isn't the only one who can wrap you around his little finger. Now get peeling."

Despite doing what he was told, for a brief moment at least, Severus was eventually ejected from the kitchen on the grounds that he couldn't behave himself properly. He could hardly be blamed if it was impossible to keep his hands off Harry after all, but he was sent to set the table and entertain their guests.

Dinner was served, which was delicious as always, and Severus enjoyed both Remus and Ginny's company. They made an interesting and rather striking couple and played off one another's strengths. They were playful and flirtatious, they teased and insulted one another and both were clearly deeply smitten.

After Gabe had been put to bed, which he insisted Ginny do, the four adults settled in the pretty seating area in the garden as the evening was so warm. Ginny was an absolute hoot and Severus enjoyed her sharp, dry wit, which was complimented by Remus' wry one-liners.

"How did the two of you get together?" Severus asked as he watched them sitting with their hands entwined, the pad of Remus' thumb stroking back and forth absent-mindedly.

"I literally ran into him in Diagon one day," Ginny said with a smile, "sent the poor bugger flying. I bought him a drink to say sorry."

"It was a terrible hardship," Remus said dryly.

"I'd had the biggest crush on him in school and I'd kept seeing him over the years, thinking how bloody gorgeous he was. I asked him out and he said yes. We went from there."

"And made your debut as a couple at the anniversary party at the ministry," Severus said with a smirk, remembering what he'd seen in his memory.

"You remember that?" Harry asked and Severus looked at him guiltily.

"Ah…yes," Severus confirmed. "I remembered…what happened that night," he confessed and Ginny snorted.

"You mean the two of you shagging like rabbits on the balcony," she said wickedly.

"You knew?" Harry asked, scandalised.

"Of course I bloody knew. You dragged Sev out like a man possessed. Damn good job I knew; who else was going to put warding spells on the door? You two idiots didn't think of it, did you?"

"Oh my God," Harry said with a mortified laugh. "I never knew. I thought we were just lucky."

"Constant vigilance," Ginny said with a grin. "Anyway, we all knew what you'd been up to when came back inside with your robes rumpled announcing you were getting married."

Severus smiled and slung an arm around Harry's shoulders, pulling him close. "Were people surprised?" he asked as Harry nestled closer.

"Of course not," Ginny said, topping her glass up. "The whole world knew how in love you were. As I recall the celebrations went on into the next day."

Harry groaned and said, "That was the worst hangover of my life."

"I'm not surprised," Remus said with a laugh. "You and Draco on the firewhisky chasers while Ron and Bill egged you on. And you, madam," he said, bringing his wife's hand up to his lips, "challenged Severus to that wicked drinking game."

"I won," Ginny told Severus with a smug grin.

"As if I needed to ask," he replied with a laugh. He repressed the urge to shudder at the idea of engaging in a drinking game with the woman.

"I can't believe you've been married ten years this year," Remus said and Ginny let out a low whistle.

"Ten years. Blimey that's crazy. Shouldn't you be marking the occasion?" she asked, looking carefully between Harry and Severus.

Harry shrugged against Severus' shoulder and said, "We talked about it before…all this but…Anyway, it's in a couple of weeks, too late to arrange anything now."

"Don't be daft," Ginny said, and Severus knew the battle was lost. "We can organise a party with 24 hours' notice and it'll only be the family anyway." She had her 'Molly Weasley' face on and Severus knew there was little point arguing with her. Besides, he agreed with her.

"I think perhaps we should do something to celebrate," he said softly to the mop of hair beneath his head.

Harry pushed himself out of Severus' hold and looked up at him with his bottom lip held between his teeth. "Just something informal," Severus said gently, brushing Harry's hair aside. "It's a milestone that should be marked."

"Perhaps," Harry said hesitantly.

"And," Severus said coaxingly, "for our 20th anniversary we can really push the boat out."

Harry smiled and said, "I'll think about it," then nestled back into Severus' hold as Remus and Ginny began reminiscing about their own wedding day.

~*~ Harry braced his hands on his knees as he tried to bring his breathing under control, sweat dripping from his brow. He was exhausted but pleased with himself, having executed every single spell perfectly.

"Wandless and wordless? You're showing off, Mr Potter."

Harry raised his head to grin at Severus, pleased to see that the man looked almost as shattered as he felt. "Well, you never know when some pillock's going to knock your wand out of your hand," he said, indicating where his wand lay on the floor.

"I like to keep you on your toes," Severus said, reaching out and grabbing a fistful of Harry's shirt.

"You like knocking me on my arse," Harry countered, pressing himself against Severus' body.

"I have a very fond regard for your arse," Severus purred as he let his hands travel to Harry' backside and lowered his head to meet Harry's lips. Harry hummed with pleasure, not caring that he was dripping with sweat and his clothes were sticking to him horribly. He wouldn't have minded if he was covered in dung as long as he got to kiss Severus.

"It was a very impressive performance," Severus murmured as he moved his lips to Harry's throat and teased his skin with his tongue. "Quite breath-taking."

Harry was too happy indulging in Severus' attentions to formulate a response. Instead he let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes as Severus' mouth assaulted him.

They made it back to Severus' quarters far more dishevelled than mere training would have allowed for and Harry was pleased they didn't meet anyone on the way. Harry helped himself to Severus' excellent shower, rather wishing the man had joined him. At the very least it would have been a distraction from the spectre of Harry's fate looming ever-present over their heads.

Severus still wouldn't talk about it, not properly. All attempts to broach the subject were either met with silence or a curtly-spoken 'I'm exploring all avenues'. Harry didn't know what that meant and it was pointless to ask; Severus had decided the matter was closed and that was that.

He hadn't mentioned it to anyone else, not even Ron or Hermione. Truth be told he wouldn't know where to start. It was best kept to himself, he supposed. There was nothing they could do and they'd only worry. He didn't think he'd be able to stand the looks they'd give him, the meaningless platitudes they would offer.

He had taken to keeping a few clean clothes and other bits and bobs in Severus' quarters, as he spent more time there than anywhere. He dressed and went back into the living room, finding Severus making them both a coffee.

"Why don't you just move in?" Severus asked wryly as Harry sat down, towelling his hair.

"Don't bloody tempt me," Harry said with a grin as Severus settled beside him and handed him his coffee.

"I fear being saddled with you."

"Too late to look for a get-out now. You're stuck with me." He sipped at his coffee and grimaced, saying, "Ugh, you've put brandy in that."

"I thought you could use it after exerting yourself so spectacularly in our session."

"It's nasty."

"That's finest French brandy, you uneducated pleb."

"I do so love it when you come over all romantic," Harry said with a grin.

Severus placed his coffee to one side and eyed Harry speculatively. "Those last few curses you used," Severus began, his eyes narrowed.

"Yes?" Harry said, affecting an air of innocence.

"They were your own creation, weren't they?"

Harry nodded. He'd been working on them for some time and had been practising in the Room of Requirement on his own, often into the small hours of the morning. The innate and intense power he possessed was finally being of some use and he was doing his best to channel it.

"Will you never cease to surprise me?" Severus asked and Harry felt a tingle go up his spine at the thought that he'd impressed someone as accomplished as Severus.

They spoke at length about the curses Harry had created and Harry soon found himself immersed in an intense and lively conversation around both the theoretical and practical implications of them. Harry was pleased that he could keep up with Severus on an intellectual level and that he could challenge him too.

They worked out the kinks that Harry had been experiencing and put their heads together to establish a better wand movement that would be more efficient in battle. He felt less and less like Severus' student and more of his equal and Severus was treating him so.

It was late by the time he returned to the tower and he was more elated than he'd been in a long time. Taking his mind off things with something he could really get his teeth into was wonderful, not to mention that time spent with Severus was always something to be treasured.

He was about to go up to the dorm when he caught sight of someone asleep on the sofa in front of the dwindling fire. As he neared, he realised that it was Teddy. He crouched down and nudged him gently and the boy blinked his eyes open.

"Harry, hi," he said with a sleepy smile.

"What are you doing here?" Harry said softly.

"I was up here this evening, spent some time with Drake. I…uh…I didn't want to go back to Slytherin. Things are…rather tense down there."

"I see," Harry said sympathetically. While Teddy's mother had been moved to safe house, her actions weren't public knowledge and so Teddy had been left in Slytherin. Although Harry was spending less and less time in the tower, he knew that Teddy was becoming a regular visitor.

"Why don't you take my bed?" he offered. "You'll do your back in sleeping on the sofa."

"Where will you sleep?"

"I um…I have somewhere else to go," Harry said, feeling himself blush. He didn't actually know if he'd be welcome to spend the night in Severus' quarters but he knew that they were both reluctant to say goodbye to one another at the end of the night.

Teddy raised his eyebrows and said, "I suppose it's best not to ask, eh?"

Harry grinned. "One day I'll tell you. It'll make your head spin. Go on, get up to bed. You're welcome any time you need an escape."

"Thanks Harry. I really appreciate it."

Teddy gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder then made his way up the stairs. Wondering if he was doing the right thing, Harry left the common room and headed back to the disused classroom. He stepped out of the floo in Severus' quarters and paused for a moment before calling Severus' name.

The man emerged from the bedroom, dressed only pyjama bottoms and Harry's blood pooled in one specific direction while the remainder gathered in his cheeks. "What's the matter?" Severus asked, and Harry stood there blinking at him.

He had known, from their many sessions pressed against one another, that Severus had a firm and strong body but seeing it laid bare was another matter entirely. The man was slim but wiry, the outline of muscle evident beneath his pale skin. Black hair started below the man's navel and lay a train beneath the man's trousers, a trail Harry wanted desperately to follow.

"Harry?" Severus said, and Harry shook himself out of his trance.

He cleared his throat and forced his eyes back up to the man's face. "Um…" he began, the power of speech apparently deserting him.

"What's wrong?" Severus ventured again, crossing the room and bracing his hands on Harry's shoulders.

Unable to resist, Harry reached out and ran his hands over the smooth skin of Severus' torso, noticing a few faint scars beneath his fingertips. He heard Severus' sharp intake of breath and he looked up as Severus' lips descended on his own.

He was wrapped up in Severus' arms and pressed against the man's bare torso, held so tightly that he could hardly breathe. His hands travelled down Severus' back and the man moaned appreciatively at the touch.

"I…" Harry breathed as they broke apart, the wind knocked out of him.

"Yes?" Severus said with a smirk, his hands roving over Harry's backside.

Harry tried to collect himself and said, "I was going to ask if I could stay here tonight."

"Stay?" Severus asked, clearly surprised, but didn't appear he was averse to the idea.

"I um…offered my bed to Teddy. He wasn't keen on going back to Slytherin. I can…I can stay on the sofa," he said, realising that the heat between them would hardly help matters when they were trying to keep things chaste.

"No need," Severus said softly. "Of course you can stay." Harry raised an eyebrow and Severus laughed, saying, "I promise not to molest you."

"It's not you I'm worried about," Harry muttered, letting his eyes roam over Severus' upper body.

"Come on," Severus said, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead then taking his hand and leading him into the bedroom.

Harry had no idea what he was playing at. Here they were trying to refrain from anything too sexual and he was asking to share the man's bed. it was too tempting though, he was desperate to sleep next to his lover, to wake up in his arms and revel in the closeness they could share.

Severus put his pyjama top on, much to Harry's disappointment, and Harry transfigured his own clothes into suitable sleep attire. "Are you sure this is ok?" he asked and Severus smiled at him. It was such a rare sight that Harry felt his stomach flutter.

"As the request plays a large part in my fantasies I can hardly say no," he said smoothly, and Harry felt the blood rush back to his groin at the thought of Severus having fantasies of him.

"Severus," he groaned, wondering how he was supposed to keep his hands to himself and why he had made such a daft decision.

"Come on, it's late," Severus said, getting into bed. After a brief moment collecting himself, Harry climbed in beside him, trying to remember how to breathe normally.

He was pulled to Severus' side and he tried to get his body to relax. He had never shared a bed with another person, especially not one he was so painfully attracted to. Severus' fingers raked through his hair and he closed his eyes as he rested his head on the man's shoulder.

"I love you," Severus murmured, placing a kiss to the top of Harry's head, and Harry's heart leapt at the declaration.

"I love you too," Harry whispered back, baffled at the strange turn his life had taken. He was in Severus Snape's bed, in the man's arms, and he could think of no better place in the world to be.

~*~ Harry glanced up at the clock for the umpteenth time that night before his eyes drifted to the fireplace, hoping to see Severus step through it. He had arrived in the man's quarters to find a note from his lover saying he had an appointment to keep but would be back as soon as he was able. It was nearing eleven and there as still no sign of him.

Harry was trying not to worry too much. He knew the man often went to meet ingredients suppliers but he couldn't see how that would take nigh on four hours. He was trying to distract himself with the book Severus had left for him but he had only taken bits and pieces in. He was tempted to pack it all and go to bed but it would be too strange to do so without Severus.

He had taken to staying with the man four nights out of seven. He knew they were playing with fire; they were still teacher and student after all and, whilst they weren't engaging in anything sexual, what they were doing was highly improper. He found it hard to care though; sleeping beside Severus was wonderful and he had never felt as close to anyone in his life.

He looked up at the clock again, pointless as only a minute had passed. He sighed and chucked his book down in frustration and considered helping himself to Severus' brandy, just to settle his nerves. He couldn't bring himself to cope with the taste though and so decided against it.

"Where are you?" he whispered to the empty room.

His imagination was working over-time and none of the scenarios it conjured up were pleasant. He wished he could tell himself that he was being irrational but Severus was no stranger to trouble. It was, unfortunately, perfectly plausible that the man was in danger and Harry's stomach was twisting uncomfortably at the thought.

He debated the matter for a further agonising half an hour then found himself standing outside Dumbledore's office, rattling off all the sweets he could think of to the implacable gargoyle. "Oh just open you, you bastard!" he seethed, becoming more agitated by the minute.

He glared at the ugly stone statue then extracted his wand and focused his intent on it. He channelled his power and concentrated solely on making the gargoyle move then, with an almighty bang, it moved aside and the staircase appeared. He rode it to the top and banged so hard on the door he hurt his fist.

"What on earth – " began the headmaster as he opened the door but Harry barged past him.

"Where is he?" he asked, his heart beating furiously.

"Where is whom?" Dumbledore asked, fixing Harry with a stern look.

"Severus," Harry said, trying to keep his voice even. "I want to know where he is."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. I assumed he was in his quarters…with you."

The look of disapproval the man shot him was staggering but Harry held his ground and said, "We've done nothing wrong."

"You've been sleeping in a teacher's bed," Dumbledore said harshly.

"Do you spy on all your employees or just the ones who are useful to you?" Harry asked, unable to stop himself.

"There are measures in place to protect students, measures to ensure nothing inappropriate happens," Dumbledore replied, his tone icy.

"Nothing inappropriate has happened," Harry insisted through gritted teeth. "Why can't you accept that we love one another?"

"You're a child, Harry," Dumbledore said angrily and Harry's fists clenched at his sides.

"Am I?" he asked, his anger matching the headmaster's. "It seems I'm only a child when it suits you, when you want to control me, when you want me to do as I'm told. I'm adult enough when you want to train me to be a killer, when you want to place the hopes of the wizarding world on my shoulders," he shouted, and Dumbledore had the good grace to look guilty for half a second.

"Harry – "

"I'm adult enough when you tell me I have to die to kill Voldemort," he spat, and Dumbledore's shoulders slumped in defeat.

The man shook his head then sank down in his chair and held his head in his hand for a moment. He looked ashen and older than Harry had seen him before. He felt a momentary pang of sympathy for the man but he was too angry to let it take hold.

"I never wanted any of this," Dumbledore said sadly. "If I could have spared you this I would."

"It's too late for that," Harry said despondently. "I know you don't approve but I love Severus and I can say, hand on heart, that nothing inappropriate has happened. Please, if you know where he is then tell me."

Dumbledore sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I wasn't aware he had left the castle," he admitted eventually and Harry felt his stomach drop.

"I'll have to find him myself then," he said decisively and Dumbledore looked up at him sharply.

"Harry, I cannot allow – "

"Sir, I'm not asking for your permission," Harry said softly. He held Dumbledore's gaze for a moment then left the office before his resolve left him.

He had no plan in mind but he found himself standing at the castle gates, wand clutched in his hand, as his heart pounded in his chest. His adrenaline pumping, he tried to focus his thoughts, to come up with a clear strategy, but he had no idea how he was supposed to do that when he didn't where Severus was.

"Just pull yourself together," he told himself sternly, taking a few deep breaths. What would Severus tell him to do? Well, he'd call him a moron for even thinking of doing anything in the first place, but after that what would he say?

He could do a locator spell but they were notoriously fickle and unreliable, especially in life or death situations. Perhaps a summoning spell? "No," he hissed. "Think! How do I find him? How do I figure out where he is? If I could just…" he trailed off as he looked down at the wand in his hand.

His power. His power resided in Severus and he could locate that as surely as he could locate his own arm. Evening out his breathing and closing his eyes, he grounded himself using techniques Severus had taught him. He focused on the centre of his power, focused on feeling it, bringing it to the surface then exploring all the tendrils of it.

There was a large chunk that was absent from his body, that spoke to him from somewhere far away. He concentrated on it and let it pull him, let it invade his senses until it was the only thing he was aware of. He braced himself and held onto the feeling then apparated to where the magic pulled him.

It was thanks to Severus' excellent training that he was immediately prepared with a shielding charm, which neatly deflected the volley of magic sent his way. He gathered his wits and realised that Severus was crouched behind him, obviously injured, while three people continued to fire hexes while his shield held.

He had no intention of finding out who the hell they were nor of engaging in a fight with them. Strengthening his shield, he knelt by Severus' side and apparated them both out of the fray. He had the presence of mind to decide upon the isolated cottage and they materialised outside out it as rain battered down upon them.

"Severus," he said, trying not to panic too much as the man's body lolled against his. "Fuck! Severus, speak to me!"

The man groaned and Harry pulled him to his feet as he unlocked the door with his wand. He guided Severus to the sofa and set him down gently. The man's eyes were closed and his face was paler than usual, his breathing shallow and stuttered.

"What the hell have you got yourself into now?" he whispered into the quiet of the cottage, shaking from the dampness sinking into his skin and the adrenaline coursing through his body.

He had neither the time nor the inclination to figure out diagnostic or healing spells and so decided to rely on his innate power and intuition. He knelt in front of Severus and placed both his hands on the man's chest, closing his eyes and focusing intently on his power.

He channelled it into Severus, mingling it with the magic that was already there. He concentrated on healing whatever damage had been done simply by sheer will alone. There was a moment's pause and then Severus took a great gasp of air, his eyes opening in shock.

"Oh thank fuck," Harry breathed, relief flooding him. "Severus? Severus speak to me, come on."

"What happened?" Severus asked, his eyes wide.

"You tell me," Harry replied, trying to calm himself down. "Who were those people and what the bloody hell were you doing with them?"

"It's not important," Severus said gruffly, pushing himself up from the sofa. His movements were stiff but he was clearly alright and Harry spared a moment to wonder at his own power.

"Yes it bloody well is important," Harry argued.

"It was a waste of time anyway. Let's just get back to Hogwarts."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what all this was about," Harry said, grabbing the man's arm.

Severus' cheeks flushed and Harry could see the man was uncomfortable but he wasn't leaving until he got some answers. He was more than aware that if he'd been a minute later he might have been bringing Severus' corpse back with him instead.

"They were…acquaintances from my Death Eater days," Severus said reluctantly and Harry had to stop himself from reacting immediately.

"Why were you meeting them?" he asked, trying to be level.

"It doesn't matter," Severus said brusquely.

"Yes it bloody does," Harry insisted. "Why were you there?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

Harry could recognise Severus's defensive stance a mile away so he lost no time brushing off the attitude and said, "Think again, Severus. When I have to come looking for you and save your backside you can bet your life it's my business. Now get over yourself and tell me what the fuck is going on."

Severus' lips pursed and Harry braced himself for the man to tell him to fuck off. Severus gave a defeated sigh and said, "I was looking for answers."

"Answers to what?"

"Any answer that means you don't have to die!" Severus said forcefully, and Harry was taken aback by quite how upset the man sounded.

"What – "

"I needed to know that there was another way, that Albus was wrong, that you're not a fucking horcrux."

"Severus – "

"I can't lose you," Severus said, his voice strangled. It was the first time Severus had allowed himself to talk about it with anything other than cold detachment. He reached out and gripped Harry's shoulders tightly. "I cannot stand by and watch you die," he whispered. "I can't lose the man I love."

Harry swallowed around the lump in his throat and stepped into Severus' embrace, holding the man as tightly as he could. "You can't risk yourself for me," he murmured into the fabric of the man's robes.

"I've spent most of my adult life doing that," Severus replied petulantly, and Harry couldn't help but laugh.

He pulled back and tried to compose himself. "I've never…I've never felt this way before. I've never loved like this before. You mean more to me than anything."

"Likewise," Severus said, his voice shaky. "I had to try…I had to…save you."

Harry reached up and traced Severus' cheekbone with his fingers. "No success I take it?" he asked softly, and Severus shook his head in defeat. "It's ok," he whispered. "I've no intention of dying and I think I've finally figured out what to do."

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked with a frown.

"Sit down. For the first time in my life I have a plan."

AN: My apologies if I don't reply to your reviews this week, my father-in-law passed away on Tuesday and we're dealing with his loss as well as all the official things you have to attend to after a death. He had a long battle with dementia and in the last three months he went downhill rapidly. He was taken into residential care in March and, thanks to corona, we haven't been able to see him at all. He died peacefully and, by some strange stroke of luck, we were all together when the news came, which was a comfort.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts now more than ever.