Author's Note: Hello readers! We're coming to the conclusion of this story. There will be two remaining chapters after this one and they are a little longer than I usual, but necessary to cover all the bases. Please stay tuned - hopefully it will be worth your while. Thanks to all! Bri

Chapter Twenty

T'Pol's Quarters

"You did what?" Trip asked, leaping up from the bunk where he'd been sitting beside T'Pol. She had asked him to come to her quarters. She said she had news.

"I said, I have found V'Lyn's clan. Phlox gave me her DNA sample and I sent it to Dr. Yuris. He identified her foremother, T'Viera. She was aboard a ship that disappeared over two-hundred years ago, the Sher'tal."

"The Sher'tal?" Trip said in an elevated voice. "That's the name of that rust bucket we found on Hella!"

"Yes, I am aware of that. The Vulcan government was never able to determine what happened to it. Over one-hundred ninety people were on that ship. It is a find of great significance."

"So, what about… what about this clan you've found? Who are they? What do they want with V'Lyn?"

"As I have stated, they are her clan…her family. You would call them cousins. They want to meet V'Lyn."

"T'Pol!" he stepped toward her, his frustration showing. "They want more than to just meet her! They're gonna try and take her away from me!"

"Trip, you are reacting irrationally!"

"Irrationally? Those Vulcans are gonna try and take my child away from me!"

"I misunderstood," T'Pol said. "I was under the impression that you wanted to find her family to reunite her with them."

"I did…in a way," he said with a bewildered look on his face. "But she's my child! I am the one that found her! I'm the one's that's been takin' care of her! When I found her, she couldn't walk right, she couldn't even talk! I am the first person to ever give a damn about her! Why…why did you have to go and find these so-called clan members in the first place?"

T'Pol observed her bond mate for a moment. "If you would recall, you asked me to." He just rolled his eyes.

"Trip, you never told me that you expected to keep V'Lyn. You said that there were things you could never teach her about herself. That she deserved an opportunity to know who she was and where she came from."

I know what I said," the engineer replied, pacing the floor. "I guess I was just tryna do the right thing. I don't think I ever expected you to find anybody."

"If you had told me that you wanted to keep her, I would have supported your decision."

Trip stopped pacing and looked down at her. "Really? You would have done that?"

"Yes, of course. It is as you said, she will need to learn things about herself, her culture. I could teach her those things. I could be a mother to her."

"You would be willing to do that?' he asked.

"Yes," T'Pol replied rising.

Trip then grabbed her and hugged her tightly. "You are incredible you know that! Absolutely incredible! So, what now? What do we do?"

"We will have to make some decisions," she replied. "Especially since V'Lyn cannot live aboard a starship."

Trip closed his eyes a moment with his hands on his hips, then went to sit down again. T'Pol joined him on the bunk.

"We have to leave Enterprise," he said.

"Not necessarily. I would be willing to leave Enterprise. It takes a lot to parent a Vulcan child in their formative years. V'Lyn is very far behind in every respect. She will require a lot of time and it will not be easy."

"But possible?" Trip asked hopeful.

"Yes. But she needs to go to Vulcan. It will be easier for her to learn about herself among her people."

Trip looked down moment. "T'Pol I can't ask you to do that," he said. "It wouldn't be fair to you. You shouldn't have to give up your career. You didn't ask for this."

T'Pol took a moment before speaking. "I am sure that Captain Archer told you that I had already submitted my resignation," she said.

"He mentioned it. But I told him you were just grievein'. I told 'em I didn't think you really wanted to resign. Now that I'm back…you don't have to."

"But now we have V'Lyn to consider. I think it would be best if she lived on Vulcan. But you should not have to give up your career either."

"I will though," Trip said. "If you're willin', I'm willin'. It's just that, livin' on Vulcan is gonna be a challenge for me."

"We do not have to stay there indefinitely. I would suggest that we maintain a home on Earth as well."

Trip grinned. "We could do that! T'Pol, you're not playin' with me, are you? You really wanna do this?"

"I do," she replied.

He then grabbed her again and hugged, then kissed her on the lips. "You are wonderful darlin'! Just freakin' wonderful! I am beyond excited! So, we're gonna be a family then, you and me and V'Lyn, the three of us!"

"The four of us," she said.

"Four?" Trip replied with a frown. "Oh yeah, I guess we have ta get a Shelat, don't we? Okay, four it is!"

"It may be customary to obtain a pet for our home, but the pet will have to wait. A small child, needing a lot of attention along with a baby, will be quite enough."

"A baby! You didn't say you wanted to try for a baby! But, hey, I'm game…' then he thought for a moment. He looked at her.

"We do not have to try," she said. "I am pregnant."

"You're what?' Trip replied.

"Pregnant."

"When…how?"

"Four months ago, on Vulcan…"

"Why didn't you tell me!" the engineer interrupted. "I've been back for five whole days and you haven't said a word!"

"You were recovering in sick bay for the first three days. There was the unpleasant news from Admiral Gardner and his recommendation for disciplinary action against you to deal with, then there was the subject of V'Lyn and her care. Things have been rather chaotic. I did not want to add to your stress."

"Stress!" he laughed. He leaned over and kissed her again on the lips.

"Oh, you wonderful, silly woman! This news is far from stressful darlin'! It's the best news I believe I ever got! I love you," he said. He then stood up and took her by the hand, pulling her up from the bunk. Before she knew it, he had picked her up and spun her around.

"Trip!" she protested.

"I couldn't help myself!" he said, putting her down. "We're parents! I'm beyond thrilled! And we gotta make some plans! But the first thing we gotta do is tell Jon!" T'Pol agreed.

Then they left to see the Captain.

Later.

Trip and T'Pol sat across from the Captain, stunned at what they had just heard.

It turned out that V'Lyn's clan was a very old and powerful one on Vulcan, who were more than pleased to find a descendant of T'Viera. Soval and T'Varra, one of the younger cousins, were already en route to retrieve the child. They believed that as soon as she could be introduced to her relatives and returned to Vulcan, the better.

"I doubt they're going to take no for an answer Trip," Jon said. "Apparently, V'Lyn's great-grandmother was something close to royalty on Vulcan. Her family can be traced back hundreds of years.

"Indeed, Captain, every Vulcan child learns about this clan in school," T'Pol added. "They were instrumental in shaping our society, dating back to the time of Surak. T'Viera was a member of Surak's clan."

Trip's shoulders slumped. He knew he'd heard the killing argument. "T'Pol, you never said anything about V'Lyn being related to Surak."

"I did not consider it to be relative to our decision. We have decided to raise V'Lyn. That's all that matters."

"No it's not! You know the Vulcans are gonna fight us tooth and nail for her…and they're probably gonna win," he said, looking away.

There was silence for a few moments.

"Then there's the other matter," Jon said. "If war is on the horizon, Starfleet is not going to want to lose experienced officers. They're not going to let you just walk away Trip. They're going to put a lot of pressure on you to stay on. I understand T'Pol's situation, and if you're sure Trip, I'll sign your papers. But I want you to be sure."

Trip and T'Pol looked at one another.

"It appears we have a great deal to discuss Captain," T'Pol stated looking at Trip.

"Let me know what you decide," Jon said rising. His officers followed suit. "Dismissed."

They left. What else was there to do?

=/\=

Two Days Later.

Malcolm had finally gotten his nerve up to talk to Hoshi. Liz had dropped a bombshell on him, and he hadn't known what to think, let alone to do. As the next day was one of his off-duty days he decided to get drunk, which would at least relieve him temporarily of the obligation to think at all.

The next morning he had woken with a blistering hangover and nothing had changed. Also, he finally admitted to himself that since their return he'd started to avoid Hoshi – and she would undoubtedly have noticed. And given how joyful she'd been to see him again, that was something she didn't deserve.

His wrecking-ball technique with women had struck again…

When he'd cleaned himself up and dropped by Sickbay to get a shot from Phlox to quieten his stomach and ease his headache, he finally steeled himself.

She welcomed him affectionately, but he still felt the distance lying between them, even when they were sitting side by side on her bunk. He looked into her lovely eyes and felt terrible. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but this surely would.

"I have something I need to talk to you about," he said, taking her hand in his.

I was wondering when you were going to come and talk to me," she said. "I know you've been avoiding me. I just didn't know why."

"I've had a lot on my mind," he replied evasively. "So much has happened. Spending time in Sickbay, potentially facing a demotion, trying to deal with the demons..."

"I understand," the linguist said. "You've been through a lot – all of you. But I just hate that you didn't feel you could talk to me about it.

"And as far as getting demoted is concerned – you don't have anything to worry about. You should have seen that letter the Captain sent to Starfleet. He really laid out a case against any disciplinary action. Instead he's recommended you and your team for commendations."

"Really?" He was interested, of course he was; he wanted to get more details, but didn't want to get distracted, because that would give him another excuse to avoid what he'd finally decided to get over and done with. "That's wonderful. But I didn't really come here to talk to you about that."

Hoshi said nothing, waiting, and he plunged into the speech he'd rehearsed so often, stumbling over the words in his haste to get them said.

"I want you to know that when I was away, I thought about you constantly. I missed you terribly and I wanted every day to be able to look into your beautiful eyes. I wanted to touch you, to kiss you, to hear you laugh again. I wanted to make love to you. I should have told you how I felt about you a long time ago. The longer I was on that planet, the more I believed I wasn't ever going see you again, to tell you how I felt about you."

Hoshi looked away a moment, clearly not knowing where this was going but aware there was going to be a 'but'. Wasn't she a language specialist, and hadn't he been broadcasting on every frequency of his body that things weren't the same between them as they had been?

"Now, I'm just so screwed up," he said miserably. "I'm so sorry, none of this is your fault … I've got a lot to sort out … to work through."

Her voice was even. "What are you trying to tell me Malcolm? Are you breaking up with me?"

"No…no, Hoshi. It's just that I need to tell you what has happened…about what happened on Hella…"

"You mean what happened on Hella between you and Liz?"

What? "Hoshi…I…I… How did you know?"

The young woman looked down at her hands and, aghast, he saw the tears brimming in her eyes. "Liz came to see me the other day. She told me everything."

"Everything?" he asked after a tiny pause

Hoshi nodded.

Oh my god, she knows. Why didn't she just order me to get my sorry arse out of her life and never speak to her again? He was so mortified he could hardly speak, but he forced the words out. "I'm sorry. I am so, so, sorry! I was going to tell you, I swear it! But I was afraid to. I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know, Malcolm."

There was a heavy silence.

"Liz told me that she was responsible for what happened," Hoshi said at last. "She said she pushed herself on you. That she made it impossible for you to say no. She also said that she had always valued our friendship and thought I deserved to know the truth. She told me that you loved me though…and that I shouldn't be too hard on you."

"She said that?"

"Yes, she did. She was very broken-up about the whole thing too. She felt awful."

"She wasn't responsible for what happened, Hoshi," Malcolm confessed. "I was the one who made the first move, it was all me. Then I wouldn't let her break it off when she tried." There were reasons, so many reasons; the loneliness, the fear, the despair, the need to find some kind of joy in that hell that had been Hella. But they all felt like excuses now, and none of them nearly good enough.

There was another silence.

"You know, Liz told me something else too," she said after a while. "She said she was getting out of the way… so we could have a chance."

He'd been looking down at his hands, lying braced along his thighs because he didn't have the right to put them anywhere near Hoshi now, but at that his head shot up. "What did she mean by 'getting out of the way'?"

"She's gone, Malcolm. She left on an Andorian transport last night."

Forgetful for a moment of the pain his lover must be in, Malcolm was horrified; another casualty of his incompetence! "Gone! She didn't tell me she was leaving. She didn't even say goodbye! She's carrying my child and I don't even know what her plans are! Where she went or anything!"

Suddenly he noticed something glistening fall down Hoshi's flawless cheek, and was stricken with remorse. "Oh God, I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what to say and I haven't a clue how to deal with this!"

"Malcolm, listen to me. You're right; I think you need some time to work through all this. I love you, and I want us to be together, but it's obvious that we can't be together right now."

"Hoshi…"

"No, let me finish," the linguist said firmly. "Liz is going to be all alone back home. She doesn't have her parents anymore and her only sister lives on Mars colony. She has a cousin in Los Angeles, but she'll be alone in San Francisco."

"Is that where she's going?"

"Yes, so she can be close to Starfleet Medical. She's going for psychological treatment there, and she'll stay until after the baby is born."

Malcolm covered his face a moment.

"She's going to need you. She wouldn't admit it, but she will. So you should call her. And you might even decide to…to try and make it work with her. She really does love you, you know," she added, her voice breaking.

Why the fuck either of you loves me I don't know. I don't bloody deserve it… "I don't know about that. She did tell me she needed time to get her head on straight. Maybe I should give her some space.

"But I won't let her shut me out of my child's life. That's my responsibility and I want to be there."

"She'd never do that," Hoshi said. Then she heaved a sigh and stood up. "Anyway. Think about what I said. But I gotta get to bed. I've just come off the Gamma shift so I'm going to say good night."

Malcolm stood slowly. Then he pulled her into an embrace and they stayed locked into one another's arms for a few moments.

"Goodnight, Hoshi," he said with a small, sad smile. It felt so much more like 'Goodbye'.

"'Nite," she said.

After he had left, Hoshi fell on the floor and the dam broke. She sobbed for a long time, in the same spot, unable to pull herself up. She hadn't cried this much since she'd finally accepted Malcolm had died in some terrible accident in Shuttlepod Two.

It was ironic, she thought to herself as she wiped the tears from her face.

'I lost him anyway.'

=/\=

The Next Morning.

Trip's Quarters.

Trip was putting the finishing touches on V'Lyn's hair. In the months since he'd had her in his care, he had actually learned how to do her hair. He'd even gotten some bows from Hoshi to decorate it with. She was dressed in a pretty blue dress and new shoes – compliments of the quartermaster, who seemed able to turn his hand to pretty well anything.

"There now," he said, turning her around to look at her. "You look absolutely beautiful! So…are you ready to go and meet your new family?"

The little girl shook her head sadly. She had been crying – it seemed constantly – since Trip had told her that he had found her family and that they wanted her to go live with them. He'd tried to make her understand that he couldn't keep her on the ship and T'Pol couldn't take her because she was sick and couldn't care for her. He didn't try to explain about T'Pol's high risk pregnancy, he didn't think V'Lyn would understand. He was afraid she'd think that he wanted his own biological child, but not her.

"Trip V'Lyn's family," she said. "Don't want to go away…stay here, with Trip."

"We talked about this sweetheart." He forced the words through a tight throat. "If there was any way I could keep you, I would. But I can't, and your family really, really wants you. They're gonna give you a nice place to live, lots of nice things and you're gonna learn all about your people and where you come from. It's gonna be fun!"

The little girl just screwed up her face, then started to cry again. He took her in his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. His heart was breaking at the thought of her not being there anymore, but he wasn't going to fall apart in front of her.

He'd thought about fighting for her. He really wanted to, and had even talked to a lawyer about it. He was told that he had no legal claim to the alien child, even if he had rescued her. Jon had even told him that a custody fight with the Vulcans could cause an intergalactic dispute, as the Vulcan government was just as eager to have this child returned as her clan members were.

Phlox had added his mite to the argument, revealing that T'Pol was not up to caring for the child considering her needs and the fact that her own pregnancy was so high-risk. V'Lyn was still prone to slipping back into crawling around like an animal and being non-verbal when she was upset or afraid. T'Pol in her turn said that it was imperative that she establish a parenting bond with someone as soon as possible, that she learn to suppress her emotions and to meditate. It was going to be difficult teaching her to walk and talk properly, to catch up with her studies and to become Vulcan. The cousin who had been selected to take custody of her was young, bonded and had one child of her own, close to V'Lyn's age.

All things considered, Trip knew he had to let her go. He didn't have to like it though.

And he didn't.

Not one little bit.

=/\=

Later.

Along with Jon and T'Pol, Trip met the Vulcans at the cargo bay. V'Lyn was holding onto his hand tightly, and practically hiding behind him.

Soval exited the shuttle pod first and gave the ta'al. "It is agreeable to see you Captain Archer, Commander T'Pol." Then he turned to Trip. "It is most agreeable to see you again, Commander Tucker, given the recent circumstances."

"Yeah, the reports of my death were greatly exaggerated," Tucker said sarcastically, not in the mood to be civil right now.

Soval raised an eyebrow.

"Trip," Jon said to his friend, on a warning note. "Ambassador, it's good to see you again too."

An older Vulcan female had also exited the pod, with assistance from a junior, and moments later she came alongside Soval. She surveyed the Enterprise contingent with a distant disdain that raised Trip's hackles.

"Captain, this is T'Lan, a Vulcan priestess. She has come to examine the child's mind."

"Examine her mind!" Trip said in a raised voice.

"It is necessary," the woman said, looking at him as if he was something she'd just wiped off of her shoe. "We need to know what is the state of her mind, to know the extent of the damage."

"Her mind is not damaged!" he snapped.

"Commander," T'Pol intervened. "V'Lyn was living a feral existence. She has had no formal training and may have been exposed to some form of radiation. It is necessary that she be evaluated so that her teachers and doctors will know how to help her."

Trip frowned a bit. He was really trying to hold it together and aware he wasn't doing a good job of it.

T'Lan simply nodded at T'Pol. "I would like to get a look at the child," she said and stepped toward her, but V'Lyn retreated further behind Trip.

"It's okay baby," he said. "These are the folks I told you about. They just wanna get to know you."

Suddenly, another Vulcan walked up. She had quietly exited the pod but stood back observing the scene, clearly waiting. When V'Lyn saw her, she gave an audible gasp and darted from behind Trip.

"Ma-ma!" the child cried and ran to the young woman and threw her arms around her legs.

Everyone was stunned.

The Vulcan stooped down gracefully to face the little girl. "My name is "T'Varra," she said. "What is yours?"

"You not ma-ma," the confused child said and started to back away.

"I am your relative. Your mother was one of my clan members. We are family."

V'Lyn turned and looked at Trip, clearly confused. Everyone guessed that T'Varra resembled V'Lyn's mother.

"It would be agree… I would like to get to know you," T'Varra said. She then stood up and extended her hand out to the little girl. "Perhaps afterwards we will talk to T'Lan."

V'Lyn looked at Trip again, confused and undecided.

"It's okay," he said. "You can go with the nice lady. It's alright."

"V'Lyn come back later."

"No problem," With an effort, he smiled at her. "Hey, why don't you show her to the mess hall. I'll bet chef has some of that fruity ice cream you like."

The child smiled and shyly slipped her hand into T'Varra's, and the sight broke something inside Trip. He couldn't let her go; not so easily, not like this…

"Hey, wait a minute," he said. He held out his arms, and the child ran back to him and he picked her up.

As if by pre-arrangement, everyone else walked a short distance away to give him some privacy – even the aloof priestess did no more than shoot him a glance that warned him not to do a runner. They started a conversation about diplomatic things he didn't know about and cared less.

"You know I love you, right?"

The child nodded her head in the affirmative, as they did on Hella and she still did when she was upset.

"I want you to always be a good girl, okay?"

"V'Lyn be a good girl."

"I'm gonna always be here for you – always. Even if we're not together, I'll always be right here," he said, touching her heart with a gentle forefinger. "Always remember that, no matter what. I'll always be your daddy…okay?"

"Trip V'Lyn's daddy," she smiled, then kissed him and hugged his neck tightly. "V'Lyn get ice cream now."

"Okay," he said, kissed her cheek, and slowly put her down. She waved at him as T'Varra led her away.

He ought to be grateful it was that easy for her. He ought to be glad…

He just stood there alone, his eyes closed, trying to control his breathing. He couldn't talk right now. He needed a few minutes.

Shit. He walked over to the pod and leaned up against it. Its hull was still bitterly cold from its exposure to hard vacuum, and he didn't give a damn.

T'Pol left the others and followed him.

"What is it with me and little girls," he said at last, in a choked voice. "Seems like I just can't seem to hold on to one… I'm always havin' to give one back…to give one up… or give one away."

He turned and looked at T'Pol. She looked back at him.

Just as his tears began to fall, she pulled him close to her and held him as he cried on her shoulder.