A/N: Hi !
I apologize for the delay but this one was so long to translate ! Thank you so much for all your reviews, and for reading !
Chapter 21
Ohma D'un.
Rey woke up with a start in her room. The day had not yet come, and thick clouds were hiding the sun in its attempt to defeat the dawn. She breathed in and out for a long time, her pulse pounding ferociously against her temples. A few minutes passed before she understood where this weird feeling she had came from. She was safe. She felt good. She hadn't had any nightmare. So why was her heart racing as if all of her enemies were chasing her? She placed a hand on her chest to calm her down, and then all her memories came back to her.
"Ben!" She screamed.
She sought him with her eyes, and in her mind, but she was alone on her bed. This was not surprising in itself, for unless one of them clung to the presence of the other, they would unconsciously close the bond in their sleep. She would rarely wake up in his presence, so why was she so worried? But the bond was silent and her calls went unanswered. Perhaps he had changed his mind? Maybe he realized they had made a mistake?
She wouldn't allow that. She untangled herself from the sheets and dressed up before leaving her place. She hesitated when she saw her sabers on the table by the door, but she renounced. She wasn't going to threaten him after all. Not yet, at least.
The distance that separated her quarters from Ben's never seemed so long as she ran through the town. She didn't use the lift, preferring instead to run up the stairs quickly. As she made her way through the maze of corridors, she wondered once again why the Resistance still bothered to guard the apartment that served as his cell. They all knew that Ben had escaped without any difficulty, and without hurting anyone, but Poe and Finn still wanted to have him under surveillance, if only for the Resistance members to feel safe. In those moments, Rey felt the urge to take the Falcon and escape with him forever. The guards on duty that morning were two young men, recent recruits. She remembered that Ben had managed to trick them one night to play cards with him as he got bored. Rey still didn't understand how he had done it, and she had accused him of using the Force on them, but he had denied it. She, on the other hand, did not hesitate to do so, as she approached and with a vague gesture of her hand, ordered them to look away. They did without protesting. She was about to fling open the door when she stopped herself. Ben didn't like to be caught off guard, and she knew how much he hated that his cell didn't lock from the inside, constantly reminding him that he was imprisoned. So she knocked softly on the door and waited for him to open.
A few seconds went by before she tried again. And soon, annoyance overcame her worry.
So he had decided to ignore her. She tried to call him again in the bond, but only silence answered. She couldn't hold on any longer, so she pushed the opening button with the Force and the door slid open with a roar. She jumped when she saw Ben at the other end of the room, with a sleepy face and his hair more tangled than ever.
"Rey ?" he exclaimed.
He got closer to her and quickly his sleepiness disappeared as he looked at her apprehensively.
"Is everything all right?"
"I... You weren't there this morning... I thought..."
She felt a little silly all of a sudden. It was still early, and even though Ben was usually a great insomniac, maybe he had finally caught up on his sleep. He opened the bond, and the fears that had gripped her poured out, without her being able to stop them.
"I fell asleep very late," he confessed to her.
Then she saw herself in her own mind, sleeping peacefully, while Ben looked at her with adoration. Relief radiated through her heart and the bond, before moments later she embraced him tightly. He wasn't wearing anything but pants and the calm that once took her was quickly replaced by agitation again. She let him go at once, embarrassed at her own reactions.
I thought you had changed your mind or that you...
He didn't let her finish her thought. With one hand he closed the door with the Force, while he grabbed her with the other, drawing her against him strongly. She gripped to his shoulders as he kissed her and lifted her into his arms. The impact of the wall on her back when he slammed her against it, did not take her breath away, but his lips devouring hers did. She had circled his waist with her legs and when he put his mouth down on her neck, she threw her head back to give him more access. Among all the intense sensations she was feeling at that moment, she could hear him talking to her in the bond. He showed her his trust, his lack of doubt. He wouldn't change his mind, he couldn't.
She loved that about him. Ben was a passionate person, he always put his heart and soul into everything he did. When he had embraced the dark side, or returned to the light, he never did things halfway. The same way he was kissing her right now. When she pulled his hair to bring him back to her face, he pinned her hands above her with a simple nod of his head. His use of the Force on her in such a moment made her growl with rage, or pleasure. She no longer knew. She was losing track of everything. While kissing Ben through the bond was incredible, kissing him for real — as she had suspected — was much more intense. As he whispered her name every time his lips parted slightly from hers, she felt herself faltering, he was holding her tight but it was almost too much. Her heart seemed about to give up, the Force was vibrating too loudly in them, she was losing her mind and yet she wouldn't have stopped for anything in the world.
Once again he ended the embrace and gently put her down on the floor. She kept her eyes closed, her head resting against his bare chest as she tried to regain her composure. She was about to faint. Ben stepped back a little to give her some air. He seemed very pleased with himself.
"Breathe Rey."
She blushed and grunted:
"Oh come on. You're not going to tell that this, does nothing to you ?"
She wasn't sure he was as affected by her every move as she was. But she couldn't ignore the same redness on his cheeks and his breathing as erratic as hers, or the vibration of the Force still pulsating in them through the bond.
"No indeed."
He had lost his smugly smile but the hungry look he shot at her didn't help her getting back to herself.
They didn't stay long without touching each other again. Now that they had allowed themselves to do so, they felt the need to constantly check if the other was still there, that they could indeed hug and kiss each other. But those sweet moments were soon coming to an end.
Ben was still limited to one daily outing according to the agreement they had made with Poe, and they would not want to spoil his only opportunity of the day by wandering around the city too early.
They had a hard time separating, but Rey needed to get on with her duties. She had volunteered to help rebuild the cells, since she was responsible for the damage in the first place. And even though her help had been received with little enthusiasm, she was eager to get started. Most of the work would be done by droid builders, but she could help clean the walls and foundations that had collapsed. Ben had warmly approved her idea.
Since they had resumed training together, they hadn't fought each other again. Rey didn't want to reiterate the experiment and Ben didn't want to push her too much, so, they had practiced meditation and control of their emotions instead. If Rey was usually skilled at this, Ben's presence had often made things harder. And the events from the night before weren't going to help. And so she was eager to start this new exercise that will allow her to work, without him around, on her control and her mastering of the Force.
After yet another hug and a last kiss, Rey contemplated him for a few moments as he walked to his refresher before leaving his quarters. She waved her hand to the guards, freeing them from the hold she had guiltily placed on them, and seeing the time —it was really very early — she decided to have breakfast. She didn't remember having been hungry like that for a long time. Walking briskly through the streets, she couldn't stop her lips from smiling compulsively, or her hands from shaking slightly.
For in that moment, Rey was happy. Nothing could have ruined her good mood. Neither the thin rain and low clouds that darkened the city, nor the few uncertain glances she received from several Resistance fighters as she passed in front of them.
Rey felt like she was radiating. Yet she was still struggling to realize what had just happened. That she and Ben had finally agreed to reveal their thoughts and desires to each other seemed unreal. She stooped for a second, the memories rushing back as she felt her heart resuming to beat frantically. She needed to control herself. A Jedi couldn't afford to give in to his feelings and emotions like that. She didn't need to hear Ben chuckle in her mind to know that she didn't believe in these principles. At least not anymore. For many months she had been studying the sacred texts and their teachings in the books she had retrieved from Ach-To. And if at first she had assimilated, without ever questioning, the slightest of their calligraphic words on the old parchment pages, meeting Ben Solo had quickly shaken that blind faith.
Hey, don't get me in trouble with the Force, he said to her, falsely outraged as he listened to her thoughts.
As if you needed me for that, she replied in the same tone.
His laughter echoed softly in her mind, and she smiled again without being able to help herself. It felt so good. Their complicity, this bond between them, was all she had ever wanted, and even more. She was suddenly overwhelmed with such peace, such lo... Such well-being that she wanted to shout out her joy, a pure cry of happiness and gratitude towards life. But she refrained herself and resumed her walk to the Great Hall.
This building with stone columns and a strange green rock dome — Naboo's pure architectural style, she was told — was the core of the city. Standing on many levels, they used it as their gathering space for any important occasion. For the never-ending meeting to which all of them were invited, for the few parties whose music echoed so loud on the high ceilings or for the meals for those who wanted. Their food supply continued with Naboo's help, but Poe was hopeful that the Resistance would soon become self-sufficient. Still deep in her thoughts, she helped herself with a meal and headed for an empty table.
Gazing into the distance, she didn't immediately notice Connix and Rose waving at her, two tables away. She stood up and joined the couple, delighted to see her friends as they barely cross path lately given how busy she was with Ben. She wasn't the only one, now that she had gotten second in the chain of command, Kaydel had been entrusted with heavy duties and responsibilities, and Rose often told her how much she regretted the small amounts of time they could spend together. Rey had to make a big effort not to drop out of the conversation like she was doing more and more often. Constantly sharing her thoughts with Ben's didn't help her stay focused on what was happening in front of her. Yet this morning he seemed rather quiet, and she realized that she was distracting herself by constantly falling back into the memories of the previous day. When he had taken her face in his hands, his hair, his lips, his...
"Don't you agree?"
"Sorry what ?" she asked, suddenly emerging from her thoughts.
It had happened again. She blushed as the couple burst out laughing at her distraction.
"You seem to be in a good mood this morning," Rose replied.
She nodded her head without answering. There was something in her friend's eyes that made her think the mechanic could read through her, and she didn't like it at all.
"It's good that you're here Rey," Connix said to her afterwards. "Finn was looking for you."
/
/
Coruscant.
Zorii turned off her comlink after her call with Poe.
After filling a large bag with all the cubes and credit chips she could find, she had rushed to contact him to let him know that the first part of her mission had been successful. Poe had not hidden his surprise; she herself couldn't believe that Solo hadn't tricked them. The General had then warned her that the men he had sent on Christopshis to recover the X-Wings stolen by the spy, had obtained some information about the latter. She had sold the ship to an old pilot, who had seen her heading towards the cargo hangars that were doing long haul flights. It was not impossible that someone would remember seeing her.
Poe had then asked her to return but she had refused, preferring to stay in the center of the Galaxy if she had to go on a hunt. He then assured her that he would contact her as soon as he heard anything, and with these last words they had cut off their transmission. Zorii contemplated Kylo Ren's cold and empty apartment one last time before closing behind her. She had put on one of the long hooded capes she had found in his belongings, and had cut off a good part of it so that the bottom didn't drag too much and disturb her movements. She didn't like to dress like that, but the cape would help her blend in better than her outfit and her overly recognizable helmet. Zorii hated having her face out in the open, unprotected, but it was better that way.
The ship she'd rented was still where she'd left it, maybe the neighbourhood wasn't so bad after all. This model of airspeeder was the most common on this planet, but she could hardly see the point of a ship with a sunroof, letting the foul air hit you head on with speed. She put the strap over her shoulder, and dropped the bag on the passenger seat. The credits bumped into each other in a satisfying little noise. She quickly started the ship, and entered Coruscant traffic, without real destination. She rose a bit higher to avoid the most jammed speeder routes, she wasn't in the mood to pay attention and didn't want to risk an accident.
Deep in her thoughts, she wasn't paying attention to what was around her. The numerous lights from the store signs and the buildings, the dozens of crossings, streets and passageways, the chains of promotional holos promoting a certain type of ship, a new comlink or...The Jedi? She stopped her engines suddenly and received several shouts of protest from other pilots who narrowly avoided her. She moved her speeder back to look at the billboard, but the publicity had already changed, there was now talk of a claim for an underground bar. But Zorii could've sworn she had recognized Rey. With a message accompanying it.
She waited a few more minutes, but there were many ads that passed by without ever going back to the one she was interested in. Maybe she had imagined it. She restarted her ship and re-entered traffic.
Yes, it wasn't impossible that she had imagined it all, for Zorii was in the midst of a terrible inner conflict right now.
She knew what she had to do. She had to track down this spy. She had to find this traitor, find out who hired her and why. She had to protect her new friends. That's what she told Poe. But then what was this strange uncertainty that was tying her up? She opened her bag and looked into Kylo Ren's fortune... The millions of credits were laying before her. She couldn't recall ever having seen so many in her life. She put her hand in and pulled out a good handful. Never before her hatred for the former Supreme Leader had been so intense. How could he do such a thing to her? To put her in front of such a temptation. Who was this man who had just disposed of so much wealth without a single regret? A man who had never missed anything in his life, she thought bitterly. She respected the Jedi at least for that, she too had lived a miserable life and knew the value of things, but this...
She reached her hand out of her speeder and opened it, dropping the credits into the void. That's how much he valued that money.
Zorii suddenly felt very nauseous. She had to land her speeder before she started vomiting. This money had been gathered at the expense of numerous innocent lives, this money was dirty. She herself was dirty for even thinking of using it. She took the bag in her hands and bent over her ship. So much for the Resistance, so much for her. It was wrong, she didn't want it. But as she was about to throw the contents over the vastness of Coruscant, she couldn't bring herself to do so. She found herself trembling and still nauseous. She would need a place to sleep for the night. And she would need a bit of booze to shut up her restless thoughts. Actually, a lot of booze.
Poe's face appeared in her mind for a second and she felt ashamed. But if she was being honest with herself, Zorii had somehow overestimated her abilities. She had no idea where to start looking to find this spy. If the Resistance didn't find what cargo ship she had taken, how could she guess where the spy had gone? The galaxy was vast, it would take a great deal of luck to find her. And in her profession — and her life in general — she had learned not to rely on luck. As she dived her speeder, and already the colored lights of more or less dubious establishments were calling her, she thought she could have a little fun first, didn't she?
/
/
Rey was standing at the Falcon's entrance as she shot one last look at Ben before stepping inside the ship. Once seated in the pilot seat, she turned to Finn and gave him back his bright smile. Together they took off with the ship and soon Ohma D'un was nothing but a small shining dot behind them as they headed for the hyperspace routes in the Chommel sector.
She had to reluctantly acknowledge that Rose's modifications were worth it. The Falcon was no longer vibrating with that strange jerk that gave the impression that the whole structure would break at any second.
As Malastare was only a few parsecs away from Naboo, the journey would not last long and they were expected to arrive at their destination in the early evening. It was strange for Rey to balance the excitement of going back on a mission with her best friend with the heartbreak of leaving Ben behind. Luckily, this pain was softened by the bond, which allowed them to never really be apart. As he was escorted back to his quarters, he, too, seemed to recall the last hours they had shared. When he had first kissed her on her bed. She let herself be drawn into the bond, the Falcon and Finn vanished as Ben's memories popped into her mind. She heard him as if he were beside her, whispering in her ear: he longed to do it again, or to lie down beside her and hold her close to him, or to press her against that wall again, as he had done this morning ...
Rey swerved abruptly with the Falcon, and Finn caught up in extremis before slipping out of his seat.
"Is everything okay?"
"Sorry, I was thinking about something."
She scolded him without real conviction as he immediately apologized, and directed his thoughts to more reasonable desires. Like simply kissing her neck when she would read her Jedi texts. Or running his fingers through her hair. He loved it when she'd let them loose and they'd fall over her shoulders.
Rey blushed as she realized he was no longer hiding what he was feeling. And that he had been thinking this secretly for weeks, without her suspecting it, was sending her back with serious concerns about her skills with the Force. With guilt, however, she had to resolve to close herself off from the bond, needing all her concentration for what was to follow. She had felt so proud and relieved when Finn had specifically asked her to accompany him on Malastare. She and no one else. While many disagreements had kept them apart lately, this proposal had resonated as an offer of peace to the two friends. They had embraced each other affectionately, happy to regain the complicity that united them.
Then they had eagerly prepared their departure, helped by Rose and Chewie. Both of them had looked at Rey with a tender gaze at her excited expression, the one she wore every time she was about to discover a new planet.
After having played a few games of Dejarik on the Falcon's old board, they discussed the many events that had taken place within the Resistance that Rey was unaware of. She gave Ben news of Zorii whose mission was going well so far. As she felt him relax, she had felt a little jealous of his interest in the smuggler. He had reassured her by reminding her that if anything had happened to her, Poe would undoubtedly have had him executed. She could only agree to this.
Rey had been surprised that Denon's Governors had accepted their project of rehabilitation and peace with the first Order legions, and it only made they mission more important. Rey once more thought about congratulating Rose, the Falcon seemed to have found a new youth and claimed back his place as one of the fastest ship in the Galaxy. A few shuttles came along and accompanied them to a huge platform overhanging above the capital Pixelito. Several hundred ships were already there, and she had to be very careful while landing the Falcon.
When they came out, Rey didn't even try to hide her disappointment at the barren, rocky planet. Finn had explained to her that it had once been covered with vegetation, but fuel mining had damaged the surface. A stench of engines and other things made her squint her nose as she tried to get used to the stronger than usual gravity. She realized that living on Ohma D'un had slightly upped her standards when it came to the beauty of a planet. She had become accustomed to its colourful landscapes, its plains and nature, the rustle of the water in the canals that meandered through the city. Malastare did not seem to possess an ounce of greenery and even the warm lights of the sunset were not enough to make it beautiful.
Creatures she recognized as Dugs, while remembering the explanations Finn had given her during the journey, escorted them to a large speeder that took off as soon as they were on board. She sat in the back with her friend and together they contemplated the cold, urbanized landscape in front of them. If the city had once been rich and sumptuous, there was no visible trace of it left. Gigantic canyons encircled it like ramparts and one of the Dugs explained to them that it was part of the pod racing grounds of the old days. These events had been among the most important in the entire Galaxy, but today they had fallen into oblivion along with their planet.
The speeder slowed down as it arrived in front of a building that rose high into the sky and dominated all the others, the Imperial Palace of the Doge, the Malastare authority that ruled over part of the population. Like the rest, the construction was crude and unpleasantly reminded her of the Sith throne on Exegol. The dark black material covering it seemed to absorb every single ray of sun. They were made to wait a few moments before their hosts, the Dug Council and the Gran Protectorate joined them.
Rey took the opportunity to concentrate, and project her mind with the Force all around long training sessions with Ben allowed her to immediately feel a great tension and she focused on it. She wouldn't be of any help to Finn in the diplomatic part of the conversation, but she would use her few skills to give her friend an advantage. So she told him what she had sensed so he could prepare himself for it. He already seemed nervous, but he became even more agitated after her remark.
"We should have taken Connix with us," Finn whispered.
"I thought she and Poe were on Naboo to meet with representatives of the free systems or whatever they're called."
"The Free Systems, yes. The ones who wiped out the forces of the First Order on their planet. There aren't many of them, and they're not as supportive of our project as you might expect."
He sighed before moaning with concern.
"But still, I wish they were here. I'm a bit scared..."
And so Rey understood where the tension she had sensed came from. She had convinced herself that her friend was now used to this kind of situation. How long had it been since the two of them had had a real conversation? About his fears and worries, or his new responsibilities. Probably since Ben arrived, she thought. Rey had blamed her friends for their intolerance and narrow-mindedness about him, but she hadn't done any better, gradually withdrawing and isolating herself in her discomfort. She had focused on Ben, and Ben alone. She needed to be more interested in others. In her incomprehension and fear of what was happening to her, she had reacted exactly like her first master. Luke had isolated himself, and shut himself away, hiding from everyone and even from the Force to escape his demons and guilt. She shouldn't make the same mistakes again. Rey realized she could think that, precisely because Ben had already helped her. He was and would remain the center of her world.
She drove away her thoughts and focused on her friend again. As she had learned to do lately, she projected calm, soothing thoughts around her. She wasn't sure if it would work, but soon the tension in his broad shoulders seemed to be easing. He breathed in deeply before leaning down and whispering:
"We can't fail Rey, there's too much at stake. The success of this peace project will allow us to support the position of the Resistance and the creation of a new political alliance. We are balancing on the edge with the Governors conflict and their merchant guilds, and all our other allies and the systems that have already been liberated. What happens today will define the future for so many. And..."
She stopped him and nodded her head. Finn was getting nervous again, she could feel the weight of responsibility overwhelming him. She took his hand and held it in hers.
"Everything's going to be fine."
And it was true.
The Grand Doge was the first to approach them, followed by the members of the other councils.
He greeted them warmly, looking very comfortable, and handed one of his feet covered with rings and sumptuous fabrics to Finn. He squeezed it without hesitation. Then he turned to Rey and did the same. She was intrigued by this strange way of standing on his lower limbs and walking with the help of his arms, but if she was disgusted in her inner self, she didn't show it. When his rough skin touched hers, she could see honest intentions. He seemed really happy that they were there. She felt relieve even though Ben told her not to lower her guard. She wanted her hand back, but the Dug held on to it and kept squeezing it, before declaring with a big smile:
"It's truly an honor to meet you, Master Jedi Rey."
She had a hard time not bursting out laughing before she saw that the Doge was serious.
He said Master, I hope you heard.
Don't flatter yourself, Ben laughed in her mind.
Oh shut up Padawan.
She returned the compliment when the Doge decidedly wouldn't let her go.
"I need to tell you that Malastare is against this new way of thinking and that we always had a lot of respect for the Jedi Order and the Force sensitive beings."
Rey nodded her head without understanding this strange flattery, and not wanting to show her ignorance she added nothing. She immediately questioned Ben, but he was as surprised as she was.
Nobody had been respecting the Jedi for a while. And he's far too young to have known the order.
What was that 'new way of thinking' he was talking about?
But once again Ben had no answer.
They climbed a few stairs before being taken to a huge elevator that led them to the top of the palace. A long table had been laid on a terrace that offered an incredible view on Pixelito. The suns had almost set and a dim light lit the balcony giving a warm and intimate atmosphere to this meeting. Preferring to focus on the Force and on sensations rather than conversations, Rey listened with a distracted ear to the Councillors presenting the planet and their multiple cultures. She couldn't let herself be charmed by those speeches on a former and forgotten greatness, all she could see right now was a sad grey planet.
Then it was Finn's turn to speak and present the Resistance's project. After hearing him work on his speech in the Falcon, Rey lost the thread for good, nodding her head from time to time when he uttered important words. Like the Military Disarmament Act. Rey wondered at which point her friend had gotten so educated and informed. She had ne clue on the terms of the said act; when he, commented and criticized them, earning admirative looks from the assembly. He obviously felt at ease.
Ben hurriedly explained to her, not bearing the fact that she could feel inferior to anyone, he always reacted like that whenever she wondered about the slightest thing. It was only very recently that she had perceived it as a delicate attention when she had taken it as patronizing before.
He explained her that after the Battle of Jakku, the New Republic had voted and adopted this act that basically consisted in reducing 90% of their military forces. Rey understood rather quickly and made the connection with what Finn had told her.
Exactly what the Governors want to do, she commented.
Yes, in a way, except they are more drastic. They saw that the New Republic had failed with this law, and that even unarmed, the forces could join together and form a superpower again. That's why they wanted to wipe out all those idle soldiers. It is a sad statement, but their thinking holds true.
Ben... Don't say that.
I know, it may sound insensitive, and it's terrible. But it's the truth... the First Order was born that way.
What do you think we should do then?
I doubt there's a miraculous solution to these problems. No matter what happens, there will always be heavy casualties, and those who agree to disarm will be left with no means of defense, which is why my mother was against it. At least you are trying to cause as few victims as possible, and that's quite honorable.
But?
But your project is utopian. Universal peace will never happen. Sooner or later wars will start again.
So what's the point... she sighed discouragingly.
Disarming the First Order is the right thing to do Rey ! Before the Empire, the Republic collapsed because of the creation of this single, all-powerful army.
So you agree with... what was her name? Mon something?
Mon Mothma. Yes, to a certain point. To disband a single, imperial army, of course, but not to give too much power to one person. Don't give oneself a place of leadership among the other systems. Let them arm themselves while making sure that none of them gain the upper hand by establishing strong agreements and alliances.
Do you think the Governors are trustworthy? Will they help us do this?
They need you anyway, or they wouldn't have contacted you. They became very powerful under the First Order, but they must have realized that a totalitarian regime wasn't good for business. Fear isolates, peace enables trade and sharing.
She meditated on his words for a while as Finn continued his speech. She still wasn't listening to him, but thanks to the Force she was more connected than ever to everything that was happening around them. The excited heartbeat of an old Gran, the obvious enthusiasm of the Doge, the satisfied murmurings of the counselors, she watched carefully over every reaction of the assembly, while continuing to spread calm and soothing thoughts.
Ben had been impressed with the progress she had made. He, who always made fun of the Jedi teachings in her books that she was memorizing, now seemed to be interested in them.
She was startled when everyone began to applaud, and she turned to Finn to congratulate him with a smile. His friend was beaming with happiness. He had succeeded. Malastare had just confirmed their acceptance, they were going to sign an alliance. Their system would become the first to join their project for peace in the Galaxy.
/
/
Somewhere in the Outer Rim.
Modi Coderex was waiting in his office for a transmission with the leader of the Eghalist. He was nervously tapping his fingers on the armrests of his big chair. The annoyance, and lately the nervousness, he felt for this man was growing day by day. When he had asked for his help months before, Coderex could never have imagined that their movement would grow so large. From the little propaganda chanted in the slave markets, they were now established throughout the Outer Rim. He knew he should have rejoiced, he had participated in this project, he had financed them, he had offered them protection and equipment, and he had introduced them to the right people. But there was something strange that made him uncomfortable, starting with their leader.
He had been trying to contact him for days now, but he was avoiding his transmissions, claiming that many tasks were occupying all his time. If there was one thing Coderex did not like, it was being taken for a fool. He was a great General, respected by his adversaries and loved by his men, he would not tolerate for long that an eccentric would treat him this way. So he had stopped asking for an interview and turned to threats. He smiled with satisfaction as he saw his screen light up and the name of his interlocutor appear. The threats still worked.
"My dear Coderex, what did you think of this masterstroke?" he said as a greeting.
So he decided to start strongly. Well, well. He lost his smile and uttered an indifferent grunt in response. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of playing his game.
"I liked this pilot, I earned a lot of credits because of him."
"He was cheating with his Force sensitivity."
"When I was younger they didn't allow them into casinos and races, they didn't make them targets all over the Galaxy. I learned he was killed shortly after you made your statement."
"You disapprove of my methods?"
"I'm afraid we'll only be seen as unstable extremists if you pursue petty vendettas like this."
"Petty vendettas? This man has manipulated every other favorite racer to take the lead in the championship. His little magic tricks have killed hundreds of pilots over the course of the season. Did you know that he made them stop their engines in the middle of a race? Most of them died that way."
"These are pod races, it has never been without risk."
He didn't believe what he just said himself. This pilot was undoubtedly a scumbag and had been given a thousandfold deserved death. But he didn't like the way this thing was going. He hadn't even been informed of this speech beforehand and had discovered it at the same time as the whole Outer Rim. Kriff they were supposed to be allies!
"Then you may be reassured to know that the Gaming Authority has contacted me and is offering their support for this kind of ... situation."
This time he couldn't help but be impressed. The Galactic Gaming Authority, no less. This publicity stunt would legitimize them and offer them unexpected funding. This organization was one of the few powers that could brag about operating in every corner of the galaxy, not just the Core or the Mid Rim. It had a more limited influence in the Outer Rim, but it was still present in the most important planets. Since gambling was universally appreciated, its influence extended everywhere. Dealing with the Brotherhoods of Pilots, the Bounty Hunter Guilds, the Hutt Cartels, or even Coderex's clan. The fact that he hadn't been informed about it worried him more than anything.
"That can't be true!"
"And yet... Everything is going the way I hoped."
"I have to at least give you credit for that," Coderex grumbled, "you seemed to have it all planned out."
"The only flaw in it is your spy."
"What about her?"
"I'm afraid that when she got spotted, the object she was supposed to hide has been found too. Echoes I have received from the Resistance are not very satisfying. Moreover, they have reconnected with the Governors. Those fools will eventually support them. The Merchant Guilds are far too respected and powerful for me to let the Resistance re-form a Republic and a Jedi order with this Rey, we're going to have to take care of them too. What?" He said as he saw the grim face of his interlocutor.
"If I had known your ambitions were such at the time, I don't think I would have agreed to help you."
The man laughed badly before approaching the screen.
"Come on, I'm only interested in freeing the Galaxy. The Resistance supports and incenses criminals, do you really want a new Republic to be born like this? It's too late to back down Coderex. You will do as I ask if you want what you asked me in return. Remember, the key to getting Kylo Ren is with her, the Jedi."
At last Modi rose from his siege, his interest was rekindled with the mention of his enemy. As long as his ally didn't forget what he'd helped them for in the first place.
"Capture the Jedi and you will have Kylo Ren."
Well, that was easier said than done. This one hadn't left the resistance for a long time to protect her favorite murderer. That would not be easy. He knew he had a talent for blackmail, and he knew he could defeat his enemies with difficult choices. But what to do with a young woman who had no family, and all her friends protected in one place. He couldn't lure her out without leverage.
Modi felt a strong migraine start drumming in his temples.
"Why don't you go get her yourself? I've seen the latest reports, the members keep increasing in size. You'll soon have an army."
"Civilians. We don't have the military forces to take on the Resistance. At least not yet. And I don't want to make her look like a martyr. She must come to me."
"What will you do with her then? How can you not make her a martyr if you publicly execute her or continue to discredit her? She's a young woman, for kriff's sake, you can never make her look like the oppressive figure you wanted! Kylo Ren was perfect for this."
"You're doing it again General. I'm tired of our talks. Bring me the Jedi. And get rid of your spy before the resistance traces her back to us. Or I will."
On that last threat he ended the connection. Modi Coderex inhaled slowly for long seconds, before screaming and throwing his fist into the glass screen where moments earlier the image of his interlocutor had been projected. As his men rushed towards him, alerted by his scream, he remained motionless, contemplating the blood oozing slowly from his knuckles. A muffled buzzing beat a frenzied rhythm in his ears. By concentrating on it, it was easy for him to ignore the pain. A droplet of the vermeil liquid rolled on the back of his hand and fell to the ground. A memory buried deep inside him appeared in his mind, momentarily masking the vision of his bloody fist.
Then cries resounded, pleas, weeping, and finally the image of two eyes. Big wide-open eyes, frozen forever in an expression of great fear. Blood flowed lazily from those eyes in the same way that his hand was now. The red fluid had pearled before slipping down the cheeks, slowly, mingled with tears of pain. One could not imagine how horrible death by asphyxiation could be to watch, but he knew it.
/
/
Outlander Club, Uscru District, Coruscant
Zorii grabbed her drink and looked for an empty table. The music was loud in the bar, barely covering the noise of the huge screens showing pod races and other popular sports. The place was crowded, and she had to resort to force and the threat of a gun to sit down. While she was sipping the huge cocktail she had ordered, she kept her hand on her pouch filled to overflowing with credits and hidden under Ren's cape. The last thing she wanted was to get her throat slit in an alley or get a blaster shot in the kidneys as soon as she walked through the doors to her speeder.
When her first drink was finished in one go, she ordered another. Then another. A few hours later, the dozens of empty glasses were lying on her table and she could finally feel the tension in her belly release.
It was hard for her to admit it, but she felt comfortable, Zorii was at ease here. Much too quickly for her liking, several women came and sat down next to her, and began to talk business with her. Was there anything in her eyes, or in her appearance, that suggested she was in the business? Or that she had been? Their proposal was honest, and even interesting as she remembered the deals she was doing on Kijimi. She quickly realized that these women were not very talented and were self-employed, she could have negotiated and cut the price in half if she wanted to. They were young, very young. Barely girls, it would be so simple to fool them.
It's too easy, she thought.
She politely dismissed them, but when one of them insisted, Zorii was forced to draw her blaster and point it at the thigh of the girl on her right. Immediately the women retreated, intimidated. For good measure, she retrieved the bag they had handed her and kept it. Too young and already in the profession. If she could at least do them a favor by preventing them from falling into this kind of scam, she would feel she hadn't totally ruined her evening. Yet her alleged good deed left a hint of self-loathing in her mouth, and even those very strong cocktails she had been drinking all night couldn't get her through. Deep down, she had tried to convince herself that she was better than that, but perhaps she would always remain a vulgar smuggler.
She had bought herself another round when one of her belt pockets started buzzing. She pulled out a comlink and was relieved to see Poe's name appear on the small screen. She took out her datapad and transferred the communication to it. The familiar face materialized, and she instantly relaxed. Zorii smiled unwillingly at Poe's excited face as he had good news to tell her. Their first official contact with the planet Malastare had gone wonderfully, Finn and Rey would soon return home with the promise of a strong alliance.
Zorii suddenly felt ashamed, all she had done was consume about twenty drinks in the space of a few hours. The alcohol was just beginning to take effect, she suddenly felt the urge to return to Ohma D'un immediately. The bar where she was was frightening her and she felt like she was being watched. Poe did not notice anything, and continued to rave about all the extraordinary news that was stirring up the Resistance.
"Listen," she said as she cut him off. "I needed to talk to you, I don't know if I'm going to ..."
"Wait, I didn't tell you! That's why I was calling you. The guys figured out the name of the cargo ship she went with. And you'll never guess where she went."
"Poe, please, I have to..."
"Coruscant!"
What? Well, that changed everything. She surprised herself laughing, it couldn't have been possible. Coruscant was the perfect place to disappear, but she never thought she'd risk it. Was luck smiling down on her? The announcement had an instant sobering effect, and the pangs of alcohol faded from her mind. She listened carefully to the information the Resistance pilots had gleaned, and Zorii was already beginning to make a plan when she was hit in the back. She turned around and saw a drunken man trying to regain his balance and landed upside down on her seat. He grabbed her to get back on his feet, but Zorii pushed him away angrily and then turned her attention back to his caller.
"Where are you," Poe asked.
All his excitement seemed to have faded away.
"In a bar. I needed a drink."
Poe didn't answer, but the disapproving look he gave her made her nervous for some reason.
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"Poe, you've never been a very good liar. What's going on?"
"Nothing at all. It's just... Well, I didn't think you'd go back to your old habits so soon."
She burst out laughing, before she saw how serious he sounded. That remark hurt her terribly.
"I hope you're kidding."
"Am I wrong? Isn't that what you were telling me not so long ago? That you missed the smuggling, the risk, the excitement?"
"I just had a drink!"
"And those aren't spices in front of you?
She lowered her gaze at the bag she'd stolen from the girls.
"It's not what you think."
"Oh, but I don't think anything. It's just for the sport, isn't it? You wanted to know if you're still good at it? So have you found some clients to rip off? Supreme Leader addicts aren't exactly commonplace, but I guess on Coruscant you should find your fortune?"
"Fuck you!"
How dare he. After all she had done for the Resistance, what she was still about to do in tracking down their spy, the danger she'd put herself in to come here and get all those credits back. Credits she was planning to give to the Resistance. Would he have been standing in front of her, that Zorii wouldn't have hesitated to hit him. Violently.
"I can't believe you would think such a thing."
" I can see why you were so quick to accept Solo's offer."
"You're... you kriffing idiot!"
"Wait, Zorii!"
He seemed to finally notice that he'd made a mistake. But by then it was too late.
"No ! You know what? It's okay. You're right, that's exactly what I was doing, I am and will remain a smuggler. Bye!
She ended the call and turned off her comlink before throwing it angrily into the dancing crowd in front of her.
But what a kriffing son of a... She didn't finish her thought, too angry for mere insults to be enough. She grabbed her last drink and poured it out in one gulp before putting it noisily back on the table. Zorii got up and gathered her things, then she put down a credit chip and walked out of the club. From there, she took her airspeeder and searched for the coordinates of an astroport that served the Outer Rim. She had to visit a cargo ship and its captain.
/
/
Finn slowly awoke when he felt the Falcon emerge from light speed. He checked the time on the dashboard, and was surprised to see that it was so early, daylight was just beginning to dawn on Ohma D'un. He silenced a long yawn as he saw Rey's silhouette leaning over the controls. She hadn't slept the whole trip, obviously. In spite of her drawn features, she seemed very happy. He saw her smiling a few times, immersed in her thoughts. He didn't note it, although he was intrigued by her strange behavior. She had been like that since the beginning of their mission. As soon as she left a conversation, her gaze seemed to be lost in the distance and he could see her blushing often.
As they entered the atmosphere and she sent the security codes to the Resistance to signal their presence, Finn realized that she had pushed the Falcon to its maximum, the trip had taken almost half as long to return as it did in the beginning. She couldn't wait to get back. Finn understood that she had been disappointed with Malastare, but he felt that she had still enjoyed their mission together. As he saw her laughing alone, he understood that her thoughts and her haste to arrive were motivated by someone. Ben.
He was disappointed despite himself. It was silly and petty of him, but he couldn't help but be jealous that no matter what she did, she still preferred to spend time with their prisoner. The day before he had seen them quarrelling and he had been glad about it, but obviously the two of them were soon reconciled, for Ben had come to say goodbye to her before they took off for Malastare. Finn didn't know why it affected him so much. He didn't want to forbid her to have other friends, of course, but he wished she hadn't chosen a criminal.
In his campaign of mistrust towards Ben Solo, he had lost all support, for even Poe seemed to tolerate him now that he had donated his entire Supreme Leader fortune to the Resistance. Finn had been outraged that they would accept credits that had been used to fund massacres and other horrors, but Poe and Connix had been more pragmatic. Money remained money, and they intended to use it for worthy purposes.
They landed in the main hangar and once again he was struck by Rey's impatience to escape as quickly as possible to join him.
"Rey wait."
She stopped as she was about to cross the Falcon's threshold, and Finn tried not to take offense at her friend's annoyed look. She could wait a bit, he grunted to himself.
"I'd like to talk to you for a moment. Please?" He felt compelled to add when she was about to refuse.
"Okay."
They left the hangar and started walking along the paths that led to the forest. Finn had made this decision earlier that night when they left Malastare. He was going to tell her that he was Force sensitive. He had wanted to tell her earlier, but once again Ben Solo had thwarted his plans.
When he had become aware of this power, of this instinct buried in him, he had been terrified of it. He didn't want to acknowledge it, but as the days went by, it became harder to ignore it. He had always wondered if Leia had not noticed it. But neither she nor Rey had ever brought up the subject, and he hadn't seen the point. He wasn't a Jedi, and he never would be. While levitating objects was fun in theory, Finn didn't want the power that endangered its bearer. Just looking at the way Rey and Ben fought demons they were the only ones to see, fighting powers that were beyond him terrified him.
No, he didn't want that.
So he had continued to ignore it. But what was happening in the Galaxy lately, what he'd seen that night on Denon was beginning to worry him more than he should. No one had explained to Rey about the rise of this group called the Eghalist who had targeted her, and what she represented. Not to worry her first of all — the young woman had enough problems on her mind — but also because they had not taken this absurd threat seriously. But things seemed to be about to change, and Finn wanted to let her know that he was as concerned as she was now.
As he explained to her the strange feelings he had been experiencing for some time, Finn quickly noticed that she wasn't listening to a word he was saying. He stopped in his walk and she passed him without stopping. She was still blushing for no apparent reason when he grabbed her by the arm and turned her over towards him.
As soon as their skin made contact, Finn felt something pass through him. A shiver ran down his back, then a stream of energy shook him. Images flashed before his eyes without him understanding what was happening. He could see Rey, but his friend was not alone. Ben was there. And to his horror, he saw them kissing. Ben had pinned her up against a wall, and they were hugging passionately. A voice rose in his mind, and Finn flinched violently.
I've missed you so much, come to me now. Please.
Finn dropped her immediately and put some distance between them. He was disgusted by what he'd just seen.
"Rey!"
"Are you all right, Finn?"
"What the hell was that?"
"What was what?"
"Oh, Rey, stop it!" He shouted.
She backed away from his anger, but he didn't mind hurting her feelings. He felt a sense of betrayal towards his friend who had given herself to their prisoner.
"What's going on between you and Ben?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
She opened her eyes in surprise, and that was all Finn needed to know. What he'd just seen had indeed happened. The voice in his mind was Ben's. He'd intercepted one of their mental conversations. Jedi power, no doubt. He was trying to chase those images away, but in vain, they kept coming and going in his mind.
Rey stammered some explanations, but Finn refused to listen to any more.
"How long has this been going on?"
He knew he was being rude at the time, but he couldn't let her get away with it. What was she thinking? Had Rey gone completely insane? As for Ben, he seemed to have betrayed the unspoken pact they made the night he arrived. If he'd never been away from her for very long, Finn had at least been pleased to see that Ben was keeping a cautious distance in their relationship. At least that's what he thought, for the two of them were obviously close. Very close.
Rey lost her childish expression as she approached him and used the same aggressive tone:
"I don't see how that's any of your business."
"You're out of your mind! You can't be with him!"
"And since when do you get to decide what I can and can't do? Ben told me what you said to him, I can't believe you did this, Finn!"
"I was only trying to protect you."
"It's none of your business! I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself, I don't need you!"
"You don't know what he's capable of, Rey!"
"But what do you care? Would you like me to meddle in your business with Jannah?"
It was his turn to blush. So she had noticed his interest in the young woman of Kef Bir. But unlike her, he hadn't set his mind on a criminal.
"It's not about me, and Jannah isn't dangerous at least!"
"Oh I see. So you can do whatever you want, but I don't have that privilege? Look, what between me and Ben is not your concern, it's none of your business if I lo..."
She stopped, aware that she had said too much. Finn detailed her, stunned by what he had just realized. He tried to ignore the tears of anger shining in her eyes, not making it easy for him for what he was about to do. But he couldn't let it go.
"You love him, don't you? You know what he did and you... you love him?"
The sudden flushing of her cheeks confirmed his fears.
"I didn't say that," she protested needlessly.
"He killed Han, his own father! He tried to kill me, and Poe, and you!"
He was unnecessarily hard on her, but she had to realize her mistake.
"Ben is not that man anymore."
"Yes, he is. But you don't see it anymore. You have been manipulated Rey."
/
/
Ben roared with rage when he heard the last words of the former stormtrooper. How dare he? If the crimes he was accused of were right, that he suggested Rey was manipulated drove him mad. The grief she felt at that moment broke his heart. She didn't deserve this, her friends had always been pillars in her life. That one of them turning against her in this way would send her back to all the trauma of loneliness and abandonment from her childhood, and Ben wouldn't allow it. He was already imagining how he was going to make him pay slowly and painfully when he perceived fear in the bond.
"But look at you! Since you brought him back you've completely changed! You thought it was Palpatine's saber you found? But you've been acting crazy for a long time! Remember what happened on J't'p'tan, what you did to those soldiers! You said yourself that you were disgusted. You changed Rey, and it's his fault!"
I'm gonna fucking kill him!
He was already expecting a scolding in the bond. Rey never tolerated him saying bad things about her friends, and Ben usually respected that, but he couldn't let Finn get away with those venomous words. Yet this time she says nothing. He wasn't even sure she heard his threat. A strange shiver ran down his spine as he felt an anger, Rey's anger, pouring into their minds. Ben calmed down immediately, not wanting to feed her with his own emotions. But it was too late. Already he could feel her power gathering, swirling around her, as she called upon the Force. Voices were raised, shouting at her to surrender to her pain, to take revenge.
It's nothing Rey, he doesn't mean what he says. Please calm down.
Above all he didn't want her to lose her temper as she had done in their last fight. If the Resistance had seen what she had done to him, if they had seen her throwing her lightning bolts on him... Well, many of them would have been delighted with that, he was sure, but the fear would have seized them too. The fact that they spent all their time together was already not much appreciated, but if she ever lost control and attacked one of the Generals... Ben didn't want to imagine what the consequences would be. Once again he tried to pass on some soothing thoughts to her, but she seemed out of reach.
Come to me now.
He thought back to the brief moments of happiness they had shared a few hours earlier, they seemed far away now. She did not react to their memories, lost in the horror of her own and what she had done. And yet he could see that what shocked her the most, was that Ben was being blamed for her faults. Finn seemed to ignore all the signals she sent him, and Ben was struck by the stupidity of her friend.
It's okay, Rey, please breathe.
Once again his words went unnoticed. Finn continued to blame her for her strange behavior, the destruction of the prison, her isolation, or her coldness. Ben knew he had to do something.
Rey I can't escape again, come to me!
He didn't want to risk someone trying to stop him, and hurting people. The young guards who were outside his cell right now, for example. The three of them had come to terms with each other, or at least tolerated each other. But Rey's conscience continued to disappear, leaving only anger. He could hear her chanting in that strange voice of hers when she lost all control:
Too strong, I have to let go. I can't hold on any longer. He doesn't understand. They'll never understand. I need him. I need him. Too much. Why me. I'm so hurt, so ashamed, I'm nothing. I'm a monster.
"Sometimes," Finn resumed, "I think we should have left him with that Outer Rim General. He was right. He should have been punished for his crimes."
Fuck, Ben thought.
The bond closed abruptly, cutting him off from Rey's thoughts.
Far away from the city, in the trees that lined the town limits and the vast hangars, gleams lit up the darkness of the undergrowth while a thud seemed to roar from the depths. Then flashes of lightning struck and pierced the sky.
He made up his mind and broke down his door to get out. The mechanical and electronic locks gave way under the intensity of the Force, and he shoved the two young men. He shouted at them to follow him as he ran down the corridors. He did not turn around to check that they were following him, but when he emerged from the building, many soldiers were waiting for him.
He had no time to stop, in the distance there was always lightning coming from the trees towards the sky. A wind of panic was blowing over the base, agitating these fighters who remembered all too well the same lightning that had struck them a few months earlier on Exegol.
He shoved several people in his path, not letting himself be stopped by this improvised human dam. This gesture surprised them because none of them managed to stop him. Ben would have liked to see them try, but the situation was serious enough without getting himself into more trouble than he was already getting into. Shouts told him to slow down, and blaster shots were fired, but Ben continued at full speed.
At last he reached the edge of town, and the woods appeared to him. He rushed down the small paths, and soon found the path that he and Rey had taken the last time, and that she had shown Finn. It would have been hard to miss the blinding lights and the rumbling that grew louder as he approached. When he entered the small clearing, it took a few seconds for his eyes to distinguish what was going on. Finn was on the ground, a tree trunk had fallen on him and crushed one of his legs. The pain didn't seem to reach him, as he was busy shouting at someone a little further away.
- REY!
Ben finally saw her. Curled up on herself, her head buried in her hands, her fingers pointing to the sky and projecting the familiar flashes of lightning. Sheaves of electricity ran around her and through the clearing, tearing the trees apart with their destructive claws.
He hadn't moved, not knowing how to react and defuse the situation. It was beyond what he had imagined. Rey was hurting herself.
But he was nevertheless satisfied that even in her anger, she was able to control herself so as not to hurt her friend. Their work of the last few days had paid off. Finn's screams and leg could have disproved it, but he knew it was only an accident. She could have killed him if she hadn't been in control. Just as when she had shot him, Rey remained stronger than the darkness that wanted to take her. Maybe in a few years he would come to have the same will, the same strength as her. Behind him finally came the Resistance, with Dameron in the lead. The latter immediately threw himself at his friend to try to help him. This gesture brought Ben out of his horrified contemplation, and he moved slowly toward Rey. No one tried to stop him.
As he walked past Finn, Ben lifted the thick trunk that was crushing his leg with the Force, and for a few moments he felt sorry for him as he heard his cries of pain as the blood flowed back into his limb. But this feeling didn't last long as he reached Rey. It was all his fault.
Her power touched him before he could squat beside her. Ignoring the electrical bites, he took his hands in hers to force her back to him. They were burned by the lightning, and when she looked up and crossed her eyes, Ben felt his heart break. In the corner of her monstrous yellow eyes, flowed big tears. Ben wanted to kiss them to dry up the flow, but he was afraid she wouldn't let him get any closer. He called out to her in the bond, but his screams echoed through the void.
Rey let me help you!
"Please..."
Was it this choice of word more than any other that brought her out of the hell she had taken refuge in? Or maybe it was because he had put his forehead on hers, desperately trying to bring her back to herself. Whatever it was, Rey finally came out of her torpor. Her eyes regained the hazelnut color he loved so much, and the lightning stopped coming out of her fingers. Ben's sigh of relief was imitated by many of the people behind them. Rey seemed to notice their presence, and moaned in shame as she hid herself against his chest. The bond had reopened on its own, and Ben was relieved to see her gradually chase away the dark thoughts that were overwhelming her. He was about to get up, but she grabbed his jacket.
Someone approached them and he recognized Dameron's footsteps. Ben reached out, ready to fight if anyone tried to separate them. But to his surprise, Dameron put a hesitant hand on his shoulder and addressed him in a measured but polite voice.
"Is she all right? I'm having Finn transferred to the medical center, he's lost a lot of blood."
"Yes. But she's still in shock."
"Come with me."
Without letting her go, Ben got up and carried her in his arms as he had done a few days earlier. He couldn't help but be saddened by what had happened. Finn didn't deserve better for his abhorrent behavior, but Rey would suffer the consequences. She, who was always blaming herself for everything and anything, would no doubt blame herself for what had happened.
He followed in the footsteps of the resistance fighters who carried Finn in a stretcher. When they passed through the city gates, Ben was relieved to see only a few people out, he couldn't bear the fact that Rey could still be the victim of unkind glances and comments. Kef Bir's deserter ran towards them. She squeezed Finn's hand, which was hanging miserably from the stretcher. Ben liked this woman. She was smart and competent, and Rey had told him a memory from when she was still a stormtrooper. For someone who had every reason to hate the First Order and such iconic figures as he was, she had shown an uncommon but very appreciative open attitude. This sympathy seemed to vanish in that moment as she cast an icy glance at Ben. Rey waved in his arms, seeming to come back to herself completely.
"Where's Finn?"
He glanced at the wounded man again. Despite his paler-than-usual face and bloody leg, it wasn't so worrisome. At least that's what he told Rey.
"He's fine, don't worry."
"I didn't mean to, I..."
"I know. You were amazing."
"Stop it, Ben. I'm a monster."
"Rey, he was awful to you. And you didn't hurt him, it was an accident."
She did not respond, but in her mind, and therefore in his mind too, her thoughts screamed her distress.
What is happening to me, a monster, a monster, I do not know anymore, I have no control, I should not be here, I have to go, I am weak, I have to get away before I hurt them. I have to go.
That thought kept coming back over and over again more than any other.
In a matter of days you learned to master a power that takes years of learning!
Because you think I've mastered it? I almost killed you last time Ben, I almost killed Finn! I'm weak! I don't know who I am anymore...
Neither he nor I are dead. I have seen Snoke kill hundreds of times with a single bolt of lightning thrown randomly, and yet he tortured me with it for years without ever seriously hurting me, because he controlled it! Rey, if you were weak, neither Finn nor I would still be here.
She remained silent after that, and maybe, thought Ben, maybe he had managed to reassure her. He kissed her gently on the forehead and she closed her eyes.
Everything's going to be okay, Rey, I promise you.
No, you cannot...
Maybe it was time to leave indeed.
/
/
Poe was spinning his comlink in his hands, cursing that little flickering beacon looking in vain for a non-existent signal. Zorii had turned off hers and was now rejecting all transmissions. He had been stupid. Terribly stupid.
Worst of all, it had taken him many hours before he realized the harm he had done. In a strange way, he felt as if he understood what she had felt when he had left their spice runner's crew to join the Resistance. He seemed to be going through the same thing.
For hours he had been waiting for a signal, a message, anything that would tell him that she forgave him for his unjust and petty words. He didn't even remember what had motivated them, it was all a blur to him. He remembered the insidious point of jealousy that had formed when he had seen her. Free. In one of the most exciting corners of the Galaxy. When he was stuck here, chained to responsibilities that were beyond him. Then his words had overtaken his thoughts, escaped in the most terrible venom he could not stop. Her wounded gaze still haunted him.
He tried once more to reach her, but the device returned no answer. Fate struck him hard.
Zorii would not return. Because of him.
He had often wondered what had kept her here in the past few months when there was no reason for her to do so. He had enjoyed every moment with her, thinking that she would find some semblance of happiness here, but he had ignored all the signals she had sent him. She missed the smuggling, she had told him more than once. The risk, the excitement, the danger. That was not what was missing in the Resistance, but it had obviously not been enough.
He put the small device in his pocket, and returned to the center where his friends had been treated all day after their misadventures. With a discreet glance, he saw Rey apologizing to Finn, but the latter deliberately ignored her. Ben made a comment he didn't understood and decided to step forward before the situation degenerated once again. He sat down next to his friend, and avoided looking at the bed next door where Rey and Ben were now cuddling. Something happened between these three, Poe noted mentally.
"How are you buddy?"
"Could be worse, I guess."
"Maybe you'll stop provoking Jedis now, he said."
"You're kidding, right?"
"Rey told me what happened while we were patching you up.
"Oh, did she?"
"She blames herself a lot, you know."
"She can. It hurts like hell."
"I have to say, I was really scared for a while. But you better apologize, too."
"Excuse me? She's the one who attacked me and I'm the one who should apologize?"
Despite his indignation, Finn was speaking in a low voice as if he didn't want to be heard.
"You were horrible to her. But I'm not really surprised, because one would have to be blind not to see how strange you are when it comes to Rey lately. You need to stop this."
"Stop what?"
"Oh, please, Finn. You're jealous! What you tried to tell her about Pasaana, you never could, could you? Because he came. I'm sorry to bring it up like this, but..."
Poe made a vague gesture with his head, pointing to Rey and Ben who were whispering words to other. With their foreheads resting on each other, they seemed to be sailing through a world of which they alone knew the extent. Poe was not really surprised. The tenderness between the two was far too obvious not to notice that they had grown closer together. How long it had been going on, he was not sure. But now he understood that Finn had just realized it, and Poe did not want his friend to go down that road.
"I mean, you can see that. She's crazy about him."
"But... but I'm not in love with Rey!" Finn whispered in horror.
They both turned to her, but neither she nor Ben reacted, still focused on each other.
"Then stop acting like you were," Poe resumed.
"I love her, that's true, but not like that... She's like a sister to me! And I can't stand him coming near her, he's bad, he'll hurt her!"
"In the meantime she's the one who hurt you," he says with a raised eyebrow.
"Because of him! Don't tell me you approve?"
"Finn, buddy, believe me, I've got a lot more on my mind than what those two are doing."
"You're just saying that because he sent Zorii to get his credits. You let him buy you Poe!"
The young woman's face materialized in his mind and guilt gripped his heart as he thought about what he had said to her. A kriffing idiot indeed.
"That's irrelevant. I'm not going to tell you that I like it, because I don't trust him. But Rey is smart enough to know what she's doing, and as long as they keep quiet, it's none of my business! To be honest with you, after what I saw today, I think I'd rather have him around while she learns to control herself. So if you could avoid provoking her, I don't want her to destroy the whole base," he added, lowering his voice further.
Finn shook his head in revulsion at what he had just heard, and Poe decided not to insist.
He demanded that Rey be sent back to her quarters, allowing Ben to accompany her. It was best to keep them apart for a while, until Finn calmed down. But kriff, what were they all thinking? Poe didn't have time to deal with conflicts within the Resistance! He didn't know what had really happened, but Rey's distress when she explained her version to him had tipped him off. He had seen Ben Solo stop her friend's destructive power by his very presence. He had long understood that something had taken hold of her and had been chasing her since her return from Exegol, but whatever it was, Ben's hold on her seemed stronger. So the two of them could bang each other if they wanted to as long as they refrained from causing any more trouble.
If he felt guilty about upsetting his friend, he wouldn't go back on his decisions. Rey needed help, and Finn had a strange way of providing it. Their Jedi was beginning to worry him and scare him at the same time. He sighed tiredly as he got up, the day had started so well, he thought bitterly. Their new alliance with Malastare was a harbinger of many successes, but then it all had to fall apart.
As he walked out of the medical center and now wandered through the alleyways, Poe thought to himself that at that moment he would have given all he had to master the Force and talk to Leia. He had been skeptical when Rey had told him she had seen their General during her tribute on Ajan Kloss. But if Poe wasn't usually interested in all these Jedi tricks, tonight he would have believed it without hesitation if he had had a chance to see his mentor again and ask her for advice. Would she have approved of what he was trying to set up? Would she agree with his choices, with these alliances?
Would Leia have believed in this new political regime that was struggling to emerge?
What did she see in him that made her decide to leave him the reins of her life's work? He wasn't sure himself.
Flying, blowing things up, and fighting, these were things he understood and knew he was good at. But politics, diplomacy, alliances, he was wandering in a world that was completely unknown to him.
He was already overwhelmed by the conflicts and incidents that were taking up his time on all sides. Naboo and the Free Systems that found no common ground for the new democratic order they were trying to create. Or the disturbing threat of the Eghalist who kept growing every time he heard of them, these restless fanatics seemed to have infected the entire Outer Rim and were now attacking the Inner Rim with their inflamed doctrines. And finally the First Order which always threatened with these hundreds of thousands soldiers left to themselves and their officers waiting for an order, or an authority.
Before losing himself completely in his anguish he forced himself to put things into perspective and concentrate on the positive. He could not ignore all the progress and advances that the Resistance was making every day. Connix who helped him keep his focus, Finn whom he was so proud of his involvement, all those men and women who gave their hearts and souls to keep this dream of peace alive. He wanted to believe that Leia, wherever she was now, was proud of them.
He had reached the main square, which was empty of all souls that evening. Calm had returned to people's minds, and this walk had soothed his own. Poe sat on one of the steps leading up to the Great Hall.
He looked up at the dark blue sky, which let the stars become visible again, and a phrase came to his mind. He had sought the advice of his General when she had given him her most precious one a long time ago.
"Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night."
Night was falling on Ohma D'un, but Poe held out hope.