Chapter 19
A boy wearing mismatching clothes was sitting beside a girl with deep red hair at the thicket of trees. There was a river glittering by the sunlight through their trunks. It was a beautiful spring day, breeze gently sweeping their pink cheeks.
The boy was facing the redhead cross-legged on the ground.
"See, there's an administration in the magic world, too. It's called the Ministry of Magic and people there work just like the Muggle ministry." said the boy.
"What do they do?" The girl asked.
"They legislate laws and put people who break them into Azkaban."
"What's 'legislate'?"
The boy paused for a moment to stare at the girl. "It means that they make laws."
The red-haired girl smiled brightly. "You are really smart. I wish I could be like you."
The boy's sallow face turned bright red at her compliment. His black eyes glazed the girl's face greedily, but the girl was oblivious to his stare, as she was occupied by the sudden gush of wind sweeping the canopy of trees. They sat silent for a moment. Then the girl started asking questions again. "So, what kinds of laws do they make? Why wizards need laws? They just can do whatever they want with magic."
The boy snapped out of his state and resumed to answer.
"Mum said wizards need more laws than the Muggle. It's because they can do magic. They can make a great mess, so someone's got to make rules."
"What kinds of rules?" she asked.
The boy looked up to the trees, thinking. "Well… you can't do magic in front of the Muggle."
"Why?"
"Because it's a secret that magic exists. Muggle can't know about it." The replied quietly.
The girl clamped her hands over her mouth, gasping. Her green eyes widened, she said, "but I did magic in front of Tuny! She's a Muggle!"
A small smile flitted across the boy's face in amusement. "You're all right. You haven't got a wand and you're still kid. They don't punish you when you can't help it." He explained.
Relieved, the girl dropped her hands down and heaved a sigh.
He went on, "But once you're eleven, then they start training you, then you've got to go careful."
The red-haired girl stared at him. Her bright green eyes gleaming as if she's dreaming.
"It's real, isn't it? I'm really a witch." She whispered.
The boy nodded, sincerely.
"You are and I am a wizard. You and I will go to Hogwarts where only magical people can go. Then we will learn more magic."
She smiled brightly like a kid receiving a Christmas present. The black-haired boy blushed a little.
"Tell me about the letter, Sev." She asked.
The boy cleared his throat. "Hogwarts will give out letters to the magically gifted children all around England so that they can attend the school." he explained as if he was reading it off from a book.
The red-haired girl leaned forward, "will it really come by an owl?"
He tilted his head. "Well… normally. But you are Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come to you in person and explain to your parent."
She was nodding when suddenly she snapped as if she'd realized something very important. She started, cautiously. "Does it make a difference? Being Muggle-born?"
The boy paused. He met her worrying green eyes then he shook his head determinedly. "No," he said. "It doesn't make any difference."
"Good." said the girl. It was clear that she had been worrying about it. But a shadow cast over her face again.
"So… you said people in magic world have different names." she started.
The boy listened attentively.
"What if. what if they think my name's weird?" The girl asked, not looking at her friend.
The black-haired boy looked stunned as though he hadn't realized this before. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it without speaking. The girl did not notice this, as she was looking down at the grassy ground. She picked a blade of bright greens that resembled her eyes. She played it around her finger, then it turned into a small purple flower, which she extended it to the boy. A bit distracted, he received the flower and stared at it.
Moment later, he looked up.
"No one will think of you as weird." said the boy.
"You've got loads of magic; I saw that." He continued. "No one will think you are not good enough." He said sternly.
She blushed a little, which made her pretty face even more adorable. The boy sucked in a breath. A bright smile returned to her face, though a bit shy. She seemed genuinely glad to hear that from him.
"I envy your name." She declared.
He frowned. He opened his mouth to say but the girl stopped him, shaking her head. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying I like your name."
This time, he turned red. He coughed, averting his gaze. When he looked up, he tried to compose himself and failed. "Why?"
"I don't know, it sounds like you'll be a good wizard." She giggled.
He was silent. He looked down at the ground then picked up a fistful of grass and began tearing them apart.
"Sev?"
"Hmm?" he looked up.
"Do you not like your name?" she asked.
The boy compressed his lips. She stared at the thin line in the small, sallow face of her friend. Then she suddenly stood up, making the boy startled. She went inside the bushes then picked up a twig, which she used to scrape the dirt on the ground with. She was scraping the ground for a while until she looked up from her work and asked the boy to join her. The black-haired boy slowly rose from his seat and walked towards her. He looked down to where she's been writing something. On the ground, there was a name 'Perseus Evans'. He raised a brow, in query.
She beamed. "Look! I figured this out last night. It's almost like you and I are brother and sister when your name's like this."
The boy did not reply, instead, stared at the words as if enchanted.
…...…...…...…...…...…..
A boy was crouching below a tree trunk, his hooked nose bleeding and his lips swollen. He was shivering, it was winter, but he wore hardly anything warm to protect him from the snow. A girl with red hair shrieked in surprise, dashing towards the black-haired boy. Up close, he looked even worse. Tears brimming in her green eyes, she croaked, "who did this to you, Sev?"
The black-haired boy looked up, his face blank of emotion. This made the girl's face scrunched up in pain. Her tears beginning to fall, she repeated, "who did this to you?"
When the answer did not come, she wiped away the tears and pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket. Then she placed it upon the boy's bleeding nose. The boy winced but did not move away from her touch.
"Are you alright? Aren't you cold?" She asked, realizing just now that he was wearing the same coat he wore in Spring.
The girl tried to pull her scarf and put it over the boy's neck. But it was too cold, and she was so frightened that her hands were shaking badly. He reached for her hands and gently moved them away from him, shaking his head in refusal. The girl stared, questioningly. But he gave no reply. He was so quiet as if he lost his ability to speak.
She looked dejected. But she did not stop covering his nose to stop the bleeding. When it did, the boy put the handkerchief back to her hand.
Slowly, he opened his mouth. A croaking, husky voice void of emotion but curious spoke. "Why'd you cry?"
The girl frowned immediately as if insulted. "Of course, I cry!"
But he did not see the reason. He looked even more lost at her words. This made the red-haired girl furious. Angrily, she stomped at her little feet. "You fool! Of course, I cry when my friend is hurt!"
A surprised look flitted across the boy's face blotchy with red. A puff of white escaped as he breathed out slowly. He looked as if he don't know what to say. The redhead sighed, more tears falling down. She wiped them with one swipe and asked the boy inquisitively.
"What? Am I not your friend or what?"
The boy was still. When she was about to lash out, he whispered, meekly "You are."
She looked unsatisfied but nodded her head, affirming.
"You feel sorry when your friend is hurt, Severus. You are hurt and you're my friend." said the girl.
The boy merely looked at her in awe, as if he never quite met something like the girl. This made the girl sad. Whimpering, the redhead whispered softly.
"Have you never had someone care about you?"
The boy did not answer.
He was touched that she was crying for him. But in the back of his mind, a dark, morbid feeling creeped up inside him. As if he swallowed ice, the boy felt very cold and rigid.
No one, he answered inwardly, no one ever cared for him.
And no one ever will.
…...…...…...…...…...
A boy with black hair was standing at the riverbank. A red-haired girl was next to him. The water was black under the cloudy sky and it was riffling in gentle wave following the movement of the creatures under. The boy liked this place. It was serene and isolated from rest of the school so he can spend time with the girl uninterrupted.
But this time, he cannot fully enjoy the moment as the girl spoke to him, apologetically.
"Sev, don't be mad", said the girl.
The boy did not answer. Instead, he kept his stare on the river. The girl looked rather upset at his silence. She snapped, "Don't be like this."
The boy turned to meet her green gaze.
"I said I'm sorry. But you've got to understand, Mary's also my friend! And she's upset that I didn't keep my promise to go to Hogsmeade together. I can't break it this time!" She said defiantly.
The boy kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to hear her, but he knew she wouldn't back down because of pity. So, the boy scrunched up his face, biting his lower lip, trying to swallow down his disappointment.
The girl noticed it. She reached out and gently tugged on his lower lip until he released it. His lips were red with a dent on the lower part. She frowned as though something bothered her.
"Sev, I told you about that habit." The girl chastised softly.
But the boy still looked sore. She heaved a sigh in frustration.
"Severus, I know you are not happy about this and I'm sorry. But, Mary's my friend too and I've got to go with her. You understand, don't you?" The girl asked, in softer tone.
The boy reluctantly nodded his head. The girl smiled lightly.
"Thank you. I'm sure you can find someone to go out with tomorrow." said the girl.
The boy clutched his hands in fists. Did she really believe that, or does she not know that he had no one but her? Out of bitterness and chagrin, the boy remained silent until the girl left. A windblown across the river felt icy cold and unforgiving.
…...…...…...…...…...…...
The red-haired girl and the black-haired boy were walking across the castle courtyard. They appeared to be talking to each other until the girl stopped mid-track and glared at the boy with dead serious look. Her face even paler against the deep red hair.
"I thought we were supposed to be friends?" said the boy. "Best friends?"
The girl looked infuriated. "We are." Her chest rose as the girl took a deep breath to calm herself. She continued, "but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with."
The boy frowned.
"I'm sorry, Sev. But I detest Avery and Mulciber. Mulciber, Sev, Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy!" The girl started to lose her cool as she tried to make him see sense.
"Do you even know what he tried to do to Mary Mcdonald the other day?" Fixing her deadly stare, the girl reached a pillar and leaned against it.
The boy bit his lip but then released it quickly when the girl noticed it.
"That was nothing." said the boy.
"It was a laugh, that's all-"
The girl snorted. "It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny-"
"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded the boy.
The girl scowled as though she couldn't understand his point. "What's Potter got to do with anything?"
"They sneak out at night," said the boy, "There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"
The girl rolled her eyes.
"He's ill. They say he's ill and that's why-"
"Every month at the full moon?" the boy challenged.
"I know your theory. Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they do at night?" She returned, tired of hearing his suspicion about the particular Gryffindor.
He quietly answered, "I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."
The redhead blushed under the intense gaze of her friend. She dropped her stare and looked at her feet. A pebble rattled as she touched it with her foot.
"I just don't want you to hang around with those lots, Sev." She said in a low voice.
The boy snapped, "Do you want me to be alone?"
The girl jolted, looking stung. "That's not what I meant!" said the girl, indignantly.
"You could make friends from other houses…"
"Like Gryffindors?" the boy challenged.
The girl blushed. A deep crease between her brows, she stuttered, "Y-You could make friends from the Ravenclaws or-"
The boy said nothing but stared, daring her. The girl trailed off into awkward silence. He waited whether she would admit that no one would befriending him. Hogwarts was far away from the London, but everyone inside couldn't ignore what was going on outside the castle ground. The Snakes were public enemy of the school and the boy was the least popular boy who had been branded as outcast. He knew she knew she was all he will ever have.
…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…..
A boy was sitting on the floor in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. He waited until a red-haired girl came out of the hole. He bolted right up, "I'm sorry!"
The girl coldly replied, "Save you breath."
It was nighttime.
The hallway was dark and cold. The girl was wearing a dressing gown, her deep red hair braided, and stood with her arms folded.
The boy bit his lip, looking anxious.
"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."
"I was. I would have done." He replied, desperately. "I came to apologize, Lil. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just-"
"Slipped out?" The girl finished it for him.
The boy flinched at the merciless voice of his dear friend. This entire moment was simultaneously surreal and terrifying. He could not lose her. She wouldn't do that to him.
"It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you." said the girl determinedly.
The red-haired girl went on, "You and your precious little Death Eaters- You see, you don't even deny it!" The green eyes of her bore contempt as she glared at him.
The boy's face was ever paler and more bloodless at the loathing filled in her eyes. Her bright green eyes he always loved. He could feel his eyes burning with tears and his throat constricted.
"You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" She retorted, cynically.
The boy opened his mouth to explain but closed it without speaking.
"I can no longer pretend." The girl said resigned.
And her declaration of giving up on him was the death sentence to him.
"NO!" He cried, out of desperation.
"I-, listen, I didn't mean-"
"To call me Mudblood?" She cut him across.
"But you call every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" She tilted her head as if she were genuinely curious.
When he could not make up answer, she turned her back to him and climbed back through the portrait hole. Then she wheeled her head, looking down at the boy with a contemptuous look he was all too familiar with from other people.
"You disgust me."
With that, the girl left, and the boy dropped to the floor, devastated.
…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…..…
The boy, grown into a man, was laid down on an old, tattered couch, with his arms folded. The place was dirty and messy with rubbish and battered furniture. Then a loud noise came from across the room. He frowned, he hated to move from the comfort of couch. But the noise kept going, demanding his attention. He swore vilely and hurried to the crib where the sound was coming from. He looked down at the baby's bed. His child wailed hysterically. This made him curse something fouler.
He hated this. He hated every second of this fucking moment. What the fuck was he thinking when he had this? It was noisy and clueless. He had to take care every single fucking thing for this thing. Fuck sake, he hated this!
He picked up the baby, trying with all his might to shut the baby up.
But the baby was stubborn. It won't listen to him trying to soothe its nerves. It won't fucking listen! Like everyone in the world. It fucking ignores him like how everyone in the world does!
He had enough. He was stupid. He just can't carry on like this.
It was all its fault! If it weren't for this thing, he wouldn't have to deal with all this shit. It was this baby's fault that he was poor because he can't have fucking job with this thing on his shoulder. It was this baby's fault that he can't even move from this shit hole to get a fucking drink.
It has to be gone. It can't stay with him. It was siphoning his life. It was ruining everything of him.
He stared at its eyes, which were dull blue, and felt sudden impulse to smother it. He swallowed. Perhaps this would be his escape. To his freedom, to the life he deserves. The boy put the baby down and grabbed a pillow next to it. He covered the struggling baby's face with the pillow and pressed hard. The child thrash with all the might it could muster, which was nothing compared to the fully grown men. He simply put more weight in his grip to muffle the sound.
It's almost there. It's almost finish.
His eyes bloodshot, his face distorted like a madman, the boy kept on pressing the pillow until there was no resistance. The baby died. The boy breathed shakily. He gasped as he removed the pillow from the baby and saw its face. Pained expression as it wailed was etched on the small, rounded red face. It did not move.
He looked at his hands. Oh gods. Suddenly air went out of his lungs. A sharp pain shot through his chest as he struggled to understand what just happened. He choked out a sound. His whole body was shaking madly.
What have I done?
…...…...…...…...…...…...…..
A warmth felt in his stomach woke Severus Snape. But he was still in daze to realize what it was. He still can feel the pain of shock, albeit reduced considerably. He tried to open his eyes, but it came out as a frown. The same warmth reached out and gently smoothed the crease. And that's when Severus realized it was a hand. A boy's callused and hard but gentle. The other hand kept on caressing his belly.
Severus knew whose hands they belonged to. Sirius Black. The Gryffindor boy has been rather stealing touches whenever he thought Severus was not aware. But he knew. How could he not? Severus knew those hands far too well.
The other boy would put his hands upon his belly and gently caresses it until he could feel the baby's quickening. Then, he gasps and just remain still to feel the movement under his palm again and again rubbing his belly all the while.
It was ridiculous to think that he'd enjoy touching Severus Snape, the greasy git, so much that he would do so on every given opportunity. But it was not comparable to the idea that Severus would let him.
He did, though. Just like now, pretending not to have woken.
Severus couldn't understand himself. It was irrational, illogical. But he cannot ignore the disappointment when the touch disappeared, and Black awoke him.
"Snape." said Black.
"Black." His voice a bit hoarse from the sleep, Severus opened his eyes.
Black looked rather embarrassed, though he quickly hid it. But a slight pink on his cheeks showed that he was rightfully ashamed of what he did. He never admitted what he does to Severus, as neither Severus admitted he knows about his secret. It felt like a little game between them, playing ignorance.
"I brought you your… brunch." He said brunch because it was too late to call it breakfast.
As the baby was twenty-five weeks old, it was too heavy to let Severus have his beauty sleep. Thus, he was forced to lay down at any given opportunity to rest and Black made sure of he does.
Severus pushed himself up with the help of Black. He leaned against a pile of pillows on the headboard. Severus looked around and found that there were a pile of gift-wrapped boxes and decorations of red and green everywhere.
"What are those?" asked Severus with slightly wide eyes.
It wasn't like this when he went to bed.
Sirius followed his gaze and replied, indifferently, "It's Christmas."
"I know perfectly well what day it is. I'm asking what those are." Severus said sharply.
Sirius, rather used to his temper by now, calmly explained, "That house-elf of yours decorated the room."
"And those boxes?"
"They are called presents, Snape. I bought them." said Sirius.
Severus looked up in query.
Sirius said nothing but went to the corner and fetched a tray full of foods. There were a dish of mince pie and small chocolate pudding along with pumpkin juice, all of which Severus was having unbearable cravings for. He quickly hid his excitement, having decency to be bashful.
"Eat," said Sirius.
Severus did not resist. They were really nice; his morning sickness seems to subside with pudding. For a moment, the Gryffindor boy sat silently watching him eat.
When he finished all the foods, Sirius rose from his seat and carried the pile of presents to where Severus was.
"What are these?"
"They are yours." Black returned.
Severus almost asked 'all of them?' but he managed to stop himself. He never had a single present in his entire life from anyone. Of course, Lily gave him few, but they were just small things, because Severus hated presents for, he could never return the favor. So, when Black said these large boxes belonged to him, Severus felt surprise. Not unpleasant one.
"Well?" Sirius prompted.
Severus started opening boxes one by one. There were cloaks, a navy-blue colored one made of wool and a black silk one. Severus knew it was fine silk because he saw Lucius Malfoy wearing similar to this. It felt smooth under his palm.
Severus found a pack of large towels along with various cloth. The Slytherin boy raised an eyebrow.
"For the birth, you know." Black answered, with a pink tint on his cheeks for some reason.
Severus narrowed his eyes.
"I read them from books. They says you need them." He explained.
Then Severus unraveled another box which was heavier than the rest. Inside, he found a series of books about pregnancy and birth and raising children.
"There's a library in the castle." Severus couldn't help muttering.
Sirius rolled his eyes but remained silent.
But the bottom of those pregnancy books, Severus found a brand-new copy of advanced potion-making. Severus automatically picked up the book and examined it. The particular smell of freshly printed book wafted when he opened the hardcover. Long and thin fingers traced the crisp writings on the snow-white pages.
"No offense," Sirius cleared his throat, "but yours seems to be very old."
When Severus took his eyes off of the new potion book, however, his face was unfathomable. He didn't say anything for a while but kept on staring at Sirius. The Gryffindor boy felt awkward as he hadn't expected this kind of reaction. Tired of trying to understand what's going on that head of the Slytherin, Sirius opened his mouth only to be cut across by Severus' sudden statement.
"It was my mum's."
"What?" Sirius asked.
"That old textbook, it once belonged to my mum." said Severus.
"Oh."
Sirius Black looked startled.
Severus ignored it and resumed to examining the book. To be honest, Severus was quite impressed with the Gryffindor's gifts. All those nice clothes he never had, stuffs for the baby along with pregnancy books made him almost grateful to the Gryffindor boy. But the potion book was something else. It was, at least to Severus, solely for him. That made Severus feel something different that just grateful. It felt… It made him see that this boy was actually caring about Severus and not just for the baby and his guilt. However, when he thought about replacing the book, somehow, Severus felt a tightness in his chest. Ridiculous, really. He never loved his mother and neither did she love him.
Sirius spoke after examining the smaller boy's expression as he stared at the gift. "You don't have to use it."
Severus looked up from his book. The grey eyes met the black ones with nonchalance.
"If you don't want to throw away your mum's." He added.
Severus was silent for a moment then, he nodded. He started opening his presents again, in which he found a variety of things such as a new schoolbag with weight-lightening charm and trainers charmed to ease the swollen feet.
Everything was catered exactly for Severus' need. Never having the experience to receive a gift like this before, Severus lost himself in unravelling presents one after another.
But a quiet voice brought Severus to present. "What was your mum like?"
Severus froze. No one ever asked him about his mother. He neither wanted to talk about it.
"I have no reason to tell you about my mum." Severus said, coolly.
A frown immediately formed in the marauder's face. He looked rather sour, but Severus tried to ignore it. But something made him look at the boy again. Then he looked down on his presents. He rolled his eyes and started to speak.
"She was a good potion maker."
Surprised, Sirius whipped his head up to look. Adjusting himself in his seat, the Gryffindor boy voiced another question. "Were you two closes?"
Severus shook his head slowly. "No."
"What was your mum's name?"
"Eileen Prince." Severus answered quietly.
His eyes widened, Sirius repeated, "Prince? I thought they were all dead."
"They are, if you don't account half-bloods." Severus retorted coldly.
Sirius frowned, as if stung. "I don't discriminate half-bloods."
Then a silence fell. Severus moved out of bed to organize his presents in the drawers he transfigured. As he stared at the clothes folding themselves in the drawers, Severus' mind drifted to thoughts. He could hear the Gryffindor boy cleaning the dishes and plates.
His mother… Eileen Prince. A last heir of the Prince, who married a filthy Muggle and thrown out of the noble family. He always thought she was weak. Despicably weak that she'd let that Muggle to hurt her in every way possible when she only had to whip around her wand and be free of him.
At a young age, Severus once dreamed of having someone taking him. Someone from the magical world, from the magical family to take him and raise him. But then, such foolishness was broken and beaten until he was forced to face the reality. There was no one in this world to rescue him from his misery.
He had to take care of himself.
"What happened to your mum?" Sirius asked in a quiet and soft voice.
Severus whipped his head around, snapped out of his pensive state.
A creased deepened in his brows, Severus stiffly asked, "why do you want to know?"
Sirius merely shrugged as he cannot come up with the answer.
Severus chewed his lower lip, before he shot a nasty glare to the marauder as if to dare and blurted out, "My father bludgeoned her to death."
The look on Sirius Black was priceless. He appeared to beyond shock at hearing this. It gave Severus a pervasive joy to stare at that dumbstruck face. But he could not place his finger on why he was being so honest about this. He never spoken this to anyone. The Gryffindor boy paled, looking at lost what to say and stuttered out an apology.
"If it makes you feel better, my family pretty dysfunctional, too," said Sirius.
"What makes you say that?" Curious, Severus asked.
Sirius chuckled ruefully, running a hand through his luscious black hair. Severus' black eyes widened a bit. He never seen Sirius smile, at least not like that. Usually, whenever he saw him smile, it was crooked and cheeky which made Severus' stomach churn with anger. But this was different, this actually made Severus feel almost sorry for the boy.
"Well, same old story. They are hardcore supremacists, and I don't give a shit about blood purity." Sirius explained.
Severus looked at the boy staring at the fancy decorations Mimny put on every wall. Strange as it was, but Severus thought he could tell what was going through the boy's mind. Sadness over not having what it appears everyone have. Something that everyone easily got but never been bestowed to them.
It was truly strange, Severus used to think Sirius Black was one of those who had all. Brother, for instance, was something Severus fancied of having when he was really, really young. When he jealous of Lily for having a sister, who cares about her little sister despite the appearance of scolding her. Black has a brother, who was currently not even uttering a single syllable in front of him.
"What happened with your brother? Was it about belief about blood purity as well?" After a moment, Severus voiced his question.
"Hmm?" The boy pensively watching the red and green snapped out of his reverie and turned to Severus.
"Your brother, Regulus. What happened between your brother that you two hate each other?"
"I don't." Sirius answered simply.
Taken aback, Severus stuttered, "But-". Sirius cut across him. "Regulus blames me because I'm disappointing my parent."
The Slytherin boy gaped at Sirius as he failed to understand.
"You see, he believes what my parent believe. He thinks I'm the prodigal son." He snorted. "But then again, I suppose it's not just about that." He added almost inaudible.
Severus didn't respond. He remembered Regulus and his countering with Sirius months ago. Shouting about him leaving the younger Slytherin, the boy was rather hysterical when he saw Severus talking with his older brother. Perhaps, the little Black missed his brother more than he's willing to admit. But none of these was his business. Nor he cared about them.
But as they talked about each other's personal life, Severus felt rather amazed by how much intrigued he was. And the other boy seemed to feel that way as well.
"You seemed to be taking interest to my brother." Sirius said suddenly.
Severus snorted, dumbfounded.
"He seems to like you."
At this, Severus frowned. "He was trying to recruit me," he said indignantly.
The question came out so out of the blue that Severus was at lost in his word. What was going on inside that bloated head of the Gryffindor, he'd never figure out. But the other boy seemed to realize it was stupid question, as he looked awkward with himself, fumbling his wand around his finger.
Severus huffed out air.
"Oh." The Gryffindor boy checked his watch and stood up.
Severus looked; one eyebrow raised.
"We need to go," said Sirius.
"Where?"
"To the Great Hall. Professor Dumbledore is celebrating Christmas." Sirius explained.
Severus scrunched up his face immediately in distaste. That old coot.
Sirius extended his hand, "come on, we going to be late."
The Slytherin boy stared at the offered hand, as if to bore a hole, willing the boy to understand that he didn't want to go. But Sirius, as always, could not decipher what he wants to say and prompted him. Severus reluctantly took the hand. With the strong hands lifting him up, he got up and they went ahead to the Great Hall.
A silence stretched during the short trip. Severus was busy reproaching himself for asking the weird question about Regulus and for answering Black's uncalled questions about his mother truthfully. Since when did he was so curious about Sirius and his family? Since when did he become so honest about his homelife? Perhaps it was because he spent too much time with the brainless Gryffindor. He became affected by the boy's recklessness and thoughtlessness. Perhaps it was the gifts, buttered him up to speak everything and anything.
The recollection of his dreams emerged. He remembered when Lily and him under a tree, at Christmas. He was beaten by his father and it was the first time Lily ever seen him like that. She was so upset that it made him feel bad. He was warmed by the thought of Lily crying for him, just for him. Then her question brought him back to the ground he was crawling. She didn't mean to hurt him, he knew it. But it hurt, nonetheless. He never had a day having someone caring about. Having someone caring him enough to buy loads of presents in Christmas. He never had a proper birthday gift, either.
Perhaps this was why, Severus convinced himself, he was so susceptible to the Gryffindor boy's touch.
When they reached the Hall, the Slytherin boy was rather thankful for having a distraction. But that feeling evaporated as soon as he received twelve pairs of eyes staring at him. Uncomfortable under attention, he awkwardly walked across the Great Hall and sat down on the only table in the center. Sirius Black followed quickly.
"Ah, my boys! Come and join us." Dumbledore, the headmaster, greeted them with open arms.
"It's blissfully good to witness the two opposing houses in such intimate way." The old wizard added.
Everyone in the Hall kept on staring at the two. They beamed at the headmaster's comment, agreeing him. Severus immediately blushed, cursing under his breath. He hated the old man for quite some time now, but he cannot recall hating him even further than he was right now. He glanced at his side and saw Black unperturbed by this. He grabbed Severus' plate and started placing foods on top of it. Christmas pudding and trifle pies, all Severus' current sweet tooth development demanded. To his amazement, it seemed Sirius was oblivious to the teachers nodding their head in their approves.
"You want more?" asked Sirius.
Severus, unable to hide his blush, shook his head and quickly dug his face. He felt like he was burning under those stares.
"Here," said Sirius, handing out a goblet of pumpkin juice.
But Severus stayed, enjoying the weirdest Christmas he ever had.