THE FARMER
Sleep did not come easily.
Quickly, yes – unconsciousness came faster than counting sheep, faster than a head hitting a pillow. But it did not come easily. That particular sleep came viciously, homicidally, reaching desperately into the waking mind and ripping, pulling, down and up and away in thrashing, twisting movements against a consciousness yet uninitiated, untrained, and unknowing. The slumber acted as currier, as carrier, as a fierce and uncontrollable carriage, dragging the mind to dream.
And the dream was not a nightmare, yet the dream was wrong. Incorrect, tilted, peculiarly physical yet inarguably phantasmic. Not a dream, and yet a dream, and yet something completely different, and yet something that was nothing, and yet something that was everything.
The dream's sky was empty – a single gaping void; a yawning, violent mouth; the quiet doorway to eternity. All was dark, and yet, the mind could see, and smell, and sense through the unending shadow.
And then… something else.
YOU ARE
HOME
YOU ARE
YOU
A voice? No. Not a voice, exactly. Not even truly a noise… And yet, it somehow held the distinctive property of being spoken.
Fragmented, soundless sound.
YOU
REMIND
US/ME/ALL
OF
LEGACIES
The soundless sound; the voiceless voice.
Intense and all-consuming, like a crowd speaking in near-perfect unison… and yet somehow still ephemeral and dream-like, like a gentle whisper.
Somehow both, and somehow neither.
YOU
REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF
INTRUSIONS
A paradox in formless form?
A paradox which spoke without speaking. A paradox which voiced without a voice. A person without a person, a sky without a sky, a ground without a ground.
YOU
REMIND
US/ME/ALL
OF
VACANCY
A paradox of paradoxes. A paradox of –
YOU REMIND
US/ME/ALL
OF
OMISSION
Did she recognize the voice? …or was it voices? Did she know the words? No, but yes, but
AND
OF
FILL
The words did not touch her ear. She did not hear them. And yet, she did. But mostly, she felt them. Not in her body, but deeper than that, deeper than
AND
OF
THE ROT
AND
ROT
AND
ROT
AND
YOU REMIND
US/ME/ALL
OF
ALL
Nothing existed besides the starless sky except for the empty ground. Nothing else besides the deep, unending wet below human feet, besides the earth, besides the
YOU
REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF
HOME
AND/OR
OF
THE ROT
AND
YOU
REMIND US/ME/ALL/YOU
OF
WOMB/GRAVE/OTHER
OF
US/ME/ALL
The stars are missing. The earth smells of petrichor, of rain, of growth, and then it smells of nothing, smells of void and emptiness – of the blank space between words, of the memory forgotten, of the unsigned name.
The trees are missing, the trees are gone, the trees never existed, the trees
YOU REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF
BEGINNING/ENDING/[UNKOWN]
OF
ROT
The stars are missing, the stars are gone, the stars never existed, the stars
YOU
REMIND US/ME/ALL
YOU
REMIND US/ME/ALL
YOU REMIND
YOU REMIND
YOU
YOU
YOU
YOU
She feels the earth, feels the mud, on her feet, on her ankles, on her knees, she puts her hands through the wet, through the earth, reaching into the womb, reaching into the nothing, reaching into the something, reaching into the
SOMETHING/SOMEONE/NOTHING
BRINGS THE
ROT
AGAIN
AND
AGAIN
AND
AGAIN
AND
AGAIN
AND
YOU
END THE
ROT
AGAIN
AND
AGAIN
AND
AGAIN
AND
AGAIN
UNENDINGLY
UNTIL
ENDINGLY
Hands into the womb, into the guts, into the blood, into the soil, into the
INTRUDERS
REMIND
US/ME/ALL
OF
THE ROT
AND
THE ROT
REMINDS YOU OF
THE INTRUDERS
AND
THE ROT
REMINDS YOU OF
THE ROT
YOU MUST
REMEMBER
THE ROT
YOU MUST
REMEMBER
THE REMINDING
inside, into the interior, into the known, into the nonexistent, reaching and reaching and reaching and reaching for the
SOMEONE/SOMETHING BROUGHT
THE ROT
INTRUDERS BROUGHT
THE
ROT
AND
THE
ROT
AND
THE
ROT
AND
YOU
BROUGHT
YOU
Reaching for the reaching for the reaching for the reaching for the
YOU
ARE
THE ROT/NOT THE ROT/[UNKNOWN]
SOMEONE/SOMETHING/INTRUDERS
ARE
THE ROT/NOT THE ROT/[UNKOWN]
YOU
YOU
YOU
DESTROY/COMPLETE
THE ROT/NOT THE ROT/OTHER
Reaching for reaching for reaching for reaching
SOMETHING/SOMEONE/INTRUDERS
ARE
THE
START
OF
THE
UNENDING
ENDING
SOMETHING/SOMEONE/INTRUDERS/YOU
REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF THE
ROT
REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF THE
ENDING
OF THE
The body is of flesh no more, the body is nothing but the earth now, nothing but the mud, but the blood, but the starless sky, but the beginning, but the end, but the poison, but the antinode, but the
ROT
IS TRYING
TO MOVE
INSIDE
OF
YOU/WE/US/THEY/IT/ME/ALL
Earth and mud and blood and wet cover feet and ankles and knees and bellies and breasts and mouths and crowns and hands and hands and hands and hands and
YOU ARE HOME
YOU ARE
THE ROT/NOT THE ROT/OTHER
YOU/WE/US/ME/ SOMETHING/SOMEONE/INTRUDERS /ALL
ARE
NOT THE ENDING/THE ENDING
ARE
NOT THE BEGINNING/THE BEGINNING
ARE
THE ROT/NOT THE ROT/OTHER
and hands and hands and hands and hands and
YOU REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF HOME
YOU REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF
THE ROT
BUT NOT
THE ROT
SOMETHING/SOMEONE/INTRUDERS/YOU
ARE
THE ROT/NOT THE ROT/OTHER
and hands and hands and hands and hands and
WE/ME/ALL
WERE/ARE
ONCE/TWICE/THRICE/ALWAYS
THE BEGINNING/THE END/THE OTHER
hands and hands and hands and
YOU/ SOMETHING/SOMEONE/INTRUDERS/ALL
FORGET
BUT
YOU/SOMEONE/SOMETHING/INTRUDERS/ALL
REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF
THE INSIDE
Lungs breathe in nothing but the innards, nothing but the dirt, nothing but the viscera, nothing but the poison, the antidote, the blood, the womb,
YOU
YOU
YOU
REMIND US/ME/ALL
OF
THE BEGINNING