Chapter 16

"It really is disappointing just how slow 'fast-acting' pain relievers actually are." Maddie grumbled to herself as she stood in the shower letting the hot water beat down on her aching back. Reaching up, she rubbed at her stiff shoulder, hoping that the warmth and pressure would ease the tightness. So far it was unsuccessful, but she still had hope. Straightening with a moan, she grabbed her shampoo and, moving as quickly as her screaming muscles would let her, she lathered her hair with the thick purple goo. Working it in, Maddie massaged her scalp with her nails, enjoying the small pleasure. Then, dropping her arms, she let the thick foam sit in her hair as she washed her body, rinsed, and repeated the process with conditioner, then ended her shower by shaving her legs. The whole routine took longer than it normally would, but by the end, she had just a smidge more range of movement in her neck, and that was a win in her book.

Turning off the water, Maddie pushed aside the old plastic shower curtain and grabbed the towel she had left sitting on the toilet. She rubbed the fluffy white cotton slowly over her body; shivering as goosebumps spread along her skin. Automatically, she bent over and wrapped her dripping hair up in the towel, wincing when the action pulled at her stiff muscles. Feeling more annoyed with every twinge of pain, she stepped out of the shower and slipped on a bra and underwear before dressing in a pair of light jeans and a white thermal long sleeve top. Moving over to the vanity, she wiped the condensation off the mirror and frowned at the mess of a woman looking back at her.

The previous day had been rough on her. Not wanting to move around much, due to her shoulder and neck, Maddie had stayed close to the windows waiting for any sign of her soul mate to return. She kept herself busy by working on her pictures but, admittedly, she didn't get a whole lot done. She couldn't count the number of times something had caught her attention outside, and she would watch with bated breath only to be disappointed. Other times she would go outside and walk slowly down the overgrown path, gently trying to coax the foliage to move out of the way where she could, but she didn't seem to be gaining much ground on that front either. She felt like she was in limbo, with the reality of the situation slowly eroding away at her innate optimism.

But, she still kept telling herself that he had only been gone for two days. That he and his life were as complicated as complicated could ever get and it made sense that he would need time to think everything through. But, with every hour that passed, her heart sunk deeper and deeper into despair, leaving her miserable, numb, and in too much pain to keep her spirits up. She ended the day by crawling under her covers and cocooning herself in the warmth and pretend security that the blankets offered her. Tears swiftly filled her eyes as she settled down and Maddie finally let herself cry for the first time that day; something that didn't stop until exhaustion took hold, sending her into a dreamless sleep.

.

Brushing out her damp hair, Maddie walked into her room; shivering as her feet made contact with the icy wooden floorboards. "Oh cold, cold, cold! Why didn't I pick someplace warm for a vacation?" Feeling the brush glide smoothly through her hair, she tossed it onto the bed and opened one of the dresser drawers in search of more layers. "Like Mexico! Mexico is nice this time of year, I could have been lying next to a pool, drinking margaritas. But no; one isolated cabin in the forest of the Pacific Northwest for one-…." Straightening, Maddie rubbed at her neck and gazed longingly out the window. "For two, please. Gah!" Letting out a frustrated noise in the back of her throat, Maddie pressed her palms into her eyes. "Why are you such a fucking romantic?" She muttered under her breath, before returning to the task at hand.

Pulling on a chunky knit deep burgundy cardigan that fell to mid-thigh, Maddie relished in the warmth it provided. Finishing her look with a pair of thick wool socks, she sat on the bed and braided her wet hair. Her mind wandered as she went through the steps absentmindedly and, for the hundredth time in the last 48 hours, her eyes were drawn to the window.

She watched as fat raindrops traveled down the glass, obscuring the drenched forest outside. "I need to get out of this cabin." She muttered while wrapping a rubber band around the end of her braid. Flipping the thick plat over her shoulder, Maddie felt it settle against the middle of her back as she wiped the moisture from her hands onto her pants. Getting up, she walked back into the bathroom to see if she could make herself look less like a sad zombie.

It took her ten minutes to praise the gods of concealer and powder foundation and put herself together enough that she wouldn't scare away any small children. Then she grabbed her purse off of the kitchen counter, slipped on her gray boots, locked up the house, and made her way to the SUV.

.

.

The path out of the area was getting tremulous and muddy as the rain came down harder. This resulted in Maddie being tossed and jerked all over the cab. Slowing to a crawl, she kept a tight grip on the wheel, hoping that she wouldn't need to make this drive again anytime soon. "I should go- AH!" She gasped in alarm when her tire hit something, most likely a rock, hidden under the mud. "God damn it! Stupid muddy trail, I am putting fixing this at the top of Bucky's fix-it list!" Her heart squeezed painfully at the thought of Bucky but a sudden dip that made her head hit the ceiling brought her focus back. "Ow!" Turning on her radio, Maddie steadied her grip on the wheel, squared her shoulders, and sang along; hoping that the words would give her strength today. "Carry on my wayward son. For there'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more"

.

After a bruising half-hour, Maddie felt her tires gripped the solid pavement. "Oh thank God! I thought my bones were going to start shifting if I had to do that for much longer." The rest of the drive seemed like nothing at all after that and she entered the cute little town with a sigh of relief.

It looked like today was a quiet day for the rain-washed town. Hardly anyone was on the road with her so Maddie had no problem getting to the post office. Quickly pulling into a parking spot close to the front door, she pulled out her phone and waited for her email app to update. "Please, please, please; for the love of my sanity, give me a reason to be here. I don't want to waste the drive here by aimlessly wandering around town for the rest of the day." With her phone vibrating continuously in her hand, Maddie anxiously watched as email after email popped up. Finally, she saw the one she was looking for and, throwing a fist into the air, Maddie whooped as she read an email that said her packages were ready to be picked up.

Turning off her car, she jumped out into the rain and ran into the building, coming back ten minutes later pushing a cart full of boxes. It was difficult to maneuver the heavy cart with the rain beating down on her and her shoulder screaming, but she managed to get it to her car without crashing it, so that was another win in her book. "Thank God for small victories." She muttered to herself as she unlocked the car and opened the back drivers-side door.

One-handed, she tried to arrange the boxes so they rested neatly in the back, but the longer it took, the more frustrated she became with the entire situation. "Would you please just. Get. In. The. Fucking. Car!" She glared angrily at the last box as the cold rain beat down on her head, sliding down her back and making her shiver. "You'd better be pillows because of not, I'm going to have to reorder whatever the hell you are." With a loud huff, she pushed the back door close, literally forcing the box to squeeze between the car door and whatever box it was smashed against. When she finally heard the click of the door latching into place, Maddie slumped against the door; glaring at the mail cart as she subconsciously contorted her body to ease the pain of her aching shoulder. Quickly returning the cart, she staggered over to the driver's door, pulled it open, threw herself in, and locked the door. It would be just her luck that the boxes would rebel against their less than comfortable situation and force the door open, spilling out all over the street.

Before going home Maddie stopped at a hardware store to pick up a power drill and some other tools she would need to start working on her 'cabin improvement' list. Calling her dad while she was there, Maddie was able to ask him for advice on what to get while they caught up with each other, her leaving out the very important fact that she had finally met her soul mate. She felt horrible about lying to her dad, but she wouldn't betray Bucky's trust like that before talking to him.

Saying goodbye to her dad, she lugged her heavy bags to her car and, feeling like she was on a roll, Maddie pulled into a home supply store to see what was in stock. Fortunately, they had a bunch of thick floor-length fabric curtains on sale, so opening up her video chat app, Maddie called Kim with the hopes that the hotel manager would be able to help her decide on what to get. After an hour of talking and shopping, (Maddie once again struggling to keep Bucky a secret but ultimately succeeding) the two women decided to go with some floor-length cream curtains for the four windows in the main room and one in a light gray for the window in the bedroom. Those paired with some dark wooden curtain rods, and a few other things she had picked up, would go a long way into making the cabin a home.

A little over three hours had passed since she had started this adventure today and as she turned off the car, after another white-knuckle drive through the forest, Maddie couldn't keep herself from slumping back against the plush leather seat. She was stressed, stiff, and sore, and the pain in her shoulder was beating along with her heart, but it was worth it. She had been productive today and the trip into town had distracted her for a good chunk of time. But now, as she sat in her silent car with the rain coming down around her, Maddie could feel the longing for her soul mate slowly seep back into her heart. Chatting with her loved ones, shopping, and running errands had been able to keep it at bay for the past three hours but now she couldn't stop herself from searching the trees around her for any sign of Bucky. Disappointment welled in her heart as she gazed out the rain covered windshield and saw no sign of him; her cabin was as dark and quiet as she had left it. "Whelp," she groaned while isolating the key for the front door. "Might as well get started."

.

Slowly box by box she lugged everything into the main room of the cabin and started unpacking. In no time at all her living room had become a mess of wooden rods, cardboard, plastic, and bedding, and when she finally added the last bag onto the mountainous pile next to her, Maddie groaned at the thought of making another trip into town to recycle all the boxes and bags. "God, what a mess." She muttered as she looked around the room at all she had bought. Bedding, pillows, and other decorative stuff (like a large round mirror, a vase, and some candles) she had gotten for the bedroom were clumped together next to the hallway, curtain rods and the matching drapes sat on the couch, and a new electric drill and other tools lay strewn about on the kitchen counter; battery plugged into the wall to charge.

Groaning in pain, Maddie bent and gathered as much as she could from the bedroom pile and took it into the room. Setting her load on the floor, she turned on some soft music and began to put the room together. Starting with stripping the bed, she took off the quilt, sheets, and pillowcases and moved them into the bathroom to be washed. After starting the machine Maddie began remaking the bed; loving the feeling of the soft sheets as she tucked them into place. "Duvet and the pillows next or I'll fall asleep before it's done." Sighing wistfully, she looked down and groaned at the mountain of six pillows she had to re-stuff into their new cases.

"Why the hell did I buy all of these?" Maddie complained as she arranged the wall of gray, white, and plaid fluff so that they lined the headboard. Getting the king size duvet into its equally huge cover was next, and this required almost more energy than Maddie was willing to give to the task but as she stood back, fanning her face with her hand, Maddie smiled in satisfaction. To see everything come together; the new white sheets, the mix of dark gray and white pillows, and the fluffy white and gray duvet looked amazing in a room with so much dark wood. "Ok, that's why." She admitted as she smoothed out the fluffy plaid cover. "The pain I'm experiencing right now will be so worth it tonight when I snuggle into this mountain of fluff."

.

Restlessness ruled Maddie for the rest of the day as the hours ticked slowly by. Her heart and mind were at war with each other and with nothing but time on her hands, she tried everything she could think of to keep her mind distracted from her situation. If someone were to walk in at that very moment they would have seen a woman standing in the kitchen, fiddling with some paper, while waiting for a kettle to heat up water. But, in reality, Maddie was a tense ball of nervous energy that was staring out the back windows, ripping up the wrapper of a teabag, while waiting for a kettle to heat up water. Logically she knew that sitting outside for the rest of the night waiting for Bucky, wasn't smart. But it was getting very hard to resist the tugging of her heart as it drew her outside again and again. She was hoping that some soothing chamomile tea would help to calm her because, at this point, she was almost incapable of denying the pull.

The sudden sharp whistle of the teapot startled Maddie so much that she almost knocked her mug off the counter. "Fuck! I give up!" With her heart in her throat, she carefully poured water into her mug, grabbed a quilt, and angrily dragged a dining room chair outside. Settling herself on the back porch, Maddie wrapped the blanket around her body and took a careful sip from her mug. The crisp floral taste brought back bittersweet memories of her mother and her enjoying the drink on a cold stormy night, but Maddie welcomed the memories of better times even if they made her heartache. Turning her phone onto a soft orchestral station; she breathed in deeply and let the smell of the damp forest, tinged with the floral aroma of her tea, calm her battered heart.

When a song from the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie started to play, Maddie giggled softly to herself as she was reminded of a particular scene that fit her situation. "He'll be back." She said with all the conviction of Keira Knightley's Elizabeth Swann talking to Jack Sparrow. "Yep, just wait, Captain Sparrow. You give it one hour, maybe two keep a weather eye open and you will see white sails on that horizon." Laughing to herself Maddie took another small sip of her tea as she gazed out into the shadowy forest.

.

Hours later, with no sign of Bucky, Maddie crawled under the warm fluff of her new bedding and forced herself not to cry.

.

.

Maddie woke up the next morning feeling awful; her head ached, her body hurt, and her throat felt like she had been eating glass the night before. "Oh my God." Rolling over onto her back, she threw her arm over her eyes and instantly regretted it as pain exploded in her back and shoulder. "God damn it!" She groaned, curling up in a ball on her side. "Is this a curse? Did I piss off a witch at some point? I should look around for hex bags" Laying there in absolute misery, Maddie watched as raindrops traveled down the glass, obscuring the view of the drenched forest outside.

'Maybe I should just go home.'

The thought of giving up brought tears to her eyes and she rubbed her face against her pillow, letting the cool cloth absorbed the wetness and soothe the dull ache in her head. After another few minutes of wallowing in her loneliness and self-pity, Maddie got up and shuffled to the bathroom. While she was there, she shook out two Tylenol and walked into the kitchen to grab a water bottle. Popping them into her mouth, she took a long drink and grimaced at the pain in her throat. Setting down the bottle she rubbed at the goosebumps that had started to rise on her arms. The chill was making her feel worst as it brought on a painful full-body shiver. Dumping the rest of her water into the kettle sitting on the stove, she turned on the burner, got out a bowl, and a mug for tea and oatmeal, and walked over to the fireplace. Bending down, she quickly started a fire in the hearth and sat with her knees drawn up to her chest, letting the warmth seep into her sore muscles. Staring into the slowly building flames, she listened to the rain beat down on the house and felt her heart sink under the weight of her loneliness. She desperately wished that someone was there with her.

.

Wrapped up snuggly in a quilt, Maddie sat on the couch and drank the last of her chamomile tea. Feeling the warm liquid soothes her scratchy throat, Maddie decided that a second cup would be worth the effort of getting up if it helped keep her sore throat to a tolerable level. Settling back, she sank into the couch and rolled her head along the back of the cushion, popping her aching neck. The releasing of pressure brought her a quick feeling of relief, but it was gone all too soon when she swallowed and the muscles in her throat burned in agony. "Wow, this sucks," Maddie whimpered when the back of her head throbbed painfully. Reaching out to secure the blanket around her shoulders, Maddie stumbled her way to the kitchen to refill her mug.

There was just enough hot water left for one more cup and, leaning heavily against the counter, she poured it into her mug and dropped in another teabag. "It's so cold today." Shivering, she picked up the warm mug and shuffled into the bathroom, breathing in the floral-scented steam as she walked. "A warm bath would be so nice."

Clicking on the bathroom light, Maddie was unprepared for a sudden flash of light and a sharp shattering pop. With a startled scream, she jumped and stumbled backward, hitting the washer, at the same time, splashing hot tea all over her hands. The sudden burning sensation caused her to dropped the mug and she watched as it fell, the ceramic shattering against the wooden floorboards.

The whole event only lasted for a few seconds, but it had scared Maddie so badly that she was shaking and gasping for breath, with her heart in her throat. Clenching her burned hands to her chest, she tried to relax. "Oh my God! What the hell!?" Struggling to calm down her racing heart, she took deep gulping breaths, holding them for a few seconds before letting them go. It was something her Doctor had told her to do if she felt like she was having a panic attack, but right now she felt like she couldn't get enough air. "That scared the shit out of me!" Glaring up at the broken bulb, she felt anger overtake her fear. "Did you just decide that today was a good day to die!?"

Shifting away from the washer, Maddie gasped as pain surged up her spine. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh God, that's going to leave a bruise." Struggling to straighten up, Maddie stood unsteadily. Every inch of her body screamed in pain and it was just too much for her to take. Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks as she dropped her quilt to the floor. "That's it you fucker the gloves are coming off!" The surprise of the light blowing was the last straw. It pushed Maddie's strained control over the edge where, just like everything else, it lay smashed at her feet. With a scream of frustration, she climbed on top of the counter and all but ripped the dead bulb out of the light fixture. Then without thinking of the consequences, she threw it to the ground, reveling in the sound of it shattering on the floor.

Sitting down on the counter, Maddie felt her body begin to shake as the adrenaline in her system started to wear off. Soon she was just a sick woman trembling and struggling to breathe as sobs welled in her throat. Gasping, Maddie could feel a band tighten around her chest, making it harder for her to breathe. Suddenly a wave of dizziness washed over her, and she slumped back against the mirror. When tears started to blur her vision, Maddie hugged her legs to her chest, resting her forehead against her bent knees.

"Bucky?" She called out into the quiet cabin, hoping desperately that he would hear her and come to help. But when no one came to her aid Maddie began to cry in earnest. "Mom, please help me, please give me a sign that I'm doing the right thing in staying here. Let me know if I should just go home or not. I don't want to give up on him, on us, but I-I'm not sure w-what to do." Feeling just as broken as the glass and ceramic that lay on the floor, Maddie hung her head and sobbed.