To Give Life

As Winter was nearing its end, Christine was becoming more and more tired as her pregnancy progressed. As Erik suggested, she had a girl from the village come to help her with some of the farm work a few days a week. Sometimes Erik would help as well. After tending to the animals, Christine reclined on the chaise in front of the fire when Erik came into the living room with tea. She was busy knitting a yellow baby blanket as Kit sat by her side. She glanced out at the window watching the snow fall. Her attention was broken when Erik spoke.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"How glad I will be when this Winter will end. I've grown quite tired of this snow. It will be nice to see the flowers again in Spring. I'm glad that our baby will be born in the Spring. It'll be wonderful to celebrate its birthday in the garden," she replied.

Erik smiled. "How many more months are left?"

"Just one month. Not much longer now. I have the baby's room just about ready. The one thing that I truly wish is that I will live to watch our child grow," she said.

"What do you mean, my love?" Erik asked, concerned.

"Well, you see, my mother became very ill after I was born. It happened so suddenly that no one really knew that it would happen. Father said that my birth was very hard on her. And she never got to live to see me grow up. In a way, I sort of blamed myself for her death. So, I only hope that I may get to live to see our baby grow up," Christine said sadly.

Erik gently lifted her chin up to meet his eyes. "Don't ever think of such things. Your mother's death was not yours to blame. I'm sure she would have given her very life for you, regardless. And you will live to see our child be born and grow up. I will not live in a world without you in it. Death can never take you away from me."

Christine was still fearful of the unknown but tried to remain hopeful. "Yes. Even if I was slipping away, I would try my hardest to come back to you." She continued with her knitting as her mind was pondering many thoughts. Then, she felt the baby move and give a sharp kick, giving Christine slight discomfort.

"Oh!" she nearly cried out.

Startled, Erik rushed to the chaise and sat by her side, looking very concerned. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I'm all right. The baby is only kicking. I think this little one is just getting impatient," she panted.

Erik placed his hands on her swollen belly and gently rubbed. His touch was very soothing to both Christine and the baby. He began to gently sing until the baby's kicking had subsided. Christine gave a relaxed sigh. "Oh…thank you, my dearest."

"Little one, you must be patient a little longer. Don't hurt your mother now," he cooed at her belly.

"We still need to decide on names."

"I thought we decided Gustave after your father?" puzzled Erik.

'For a boy, yes. But we still need a name for a girl. What about Lorraine?" asked Christine.

"No."

"Albine?"

Erik scoffed. "Heavens no."

"Eglantine?"

He laughed. "You must be joking!"

"Angeline?"

"As the middle name."

"Very well. Madeleine?"

"NO!" yelled Erik. Christine looked at him startled. Regretting his outburst, he looked at Christine with inexplicable pain then looked away at the fireplace. "Forgive me…but please, not that name," he shuddered.

"Is…there a reason why?"

"It was my…mother's name," he said with a small ounce of venom at the word mother.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know," she said sadly.

"It's not your fault," he said, turning back towards her. "I never wanted to say because that woman was no mother to me. I refuse to name a daughter after her."

"Well then, what name do you suggest?"

Erik simply smiled and touched her cheek. "If it is a girl, we'll know when she is born."

Spring 1884

With the arrival of Spring, the time of the soon awaited birth was growing near. Christine grew more anxious than ever. One stormy night, Erik and Rahim were talking in the sitting room as Christine was preparing tea. Slowly, she began to feel faint and felt slight pains. She tried to continue preparing the tea but soon the pains grew worse. With the next pain, she cried out and clutched at her belly, steadying herself against the table. Then she felt her dress become wet. "Erik!" she cried out.

Not seconds later, Erik came running into the kitchen, followed by Rahim. "Christine, what's wrong?"

"I think it's time. The baby is coming." She winced.

"Come, we must get you to our room. Daroga, help me," said Erik. He picked up Christine as Rahim held up her legs and they carried her to the bedroom. As Erik laid Christine down, he instructed Rahim to fetch the doctor and midwife.

When they were alone, Erik helped Christine out of her dress and into a chemise. He laid the bed down with blankets and settled Christine down on it as she breathed heavily and moaned in great pain. He dabbed her forehead with a wet cloth. "Erik, I'm frightened," she said, trembling.

"It'll be all right. I'm right here with you. We'll get through this together," he said.

They waited for Rahim and the doctor to arrive, but with every passing pain, Christine was losing her strength and becoming weaker. "Christine, stay with me. Don't close your eyes."

"Oh, it hurts…" she moaned.

"I know. Just hold on a little longer. It will be over soon, my love. It will be all over soon and then you'll see your precious baby."

Christine looked up at Erik as he kissed her forehead. He looked down at her and caressed her head while she kept breathing heavily.

Finally, Rahim arrived with the doctor and midwife. Soon, they were preparing Christine for the birth. "Madame, you must try to relax. The infant is jerking and struggling, it is stressed."

After several minutes, Christine was breathing slowly. Erik held Christine by her shoulders and allowed her to lean back against him.

"Now push, Madame."

Christine summoned all her strength to push. She felt as though she were being ripped in two. Her screams were like knives to Erik's heart. She pushed more and more until the baby's head was out. "Madame, the cord is around its neck. You must be still for a moment."

"Save your energy, my love. Don't give in now." Erik said. Christine felt herself growing weaker and weaker. "Erik…I can't."

"You can, Christine. And you must. Stay with me!" he said.

Everyone's breath was baited as the doctor worked to save the baby. Its face was turning blue and it was not breathing. Soon, he freed the baby. After one final push, the baby was out. Its little cry gave Christine relief. The doctor showed them their new daughter. Though her vision was hazy, Christine could see their beautiful daughter and her face, to Erik's relief, was not deformed. The doctor gave the baby to the midwife to clean her up.

With her strength gone, Christine slowly grew weaker and lost consciousness.

"Christine? Christine!" Erik cried. But she felt heavy as he lowered her on the bed. "Please, Christine, open your eyes!"

"Monsieur, your wife needs help. You must leave the room immediately so I can attend to her."

"No! I won't leave her!"

"Erik, let the doctor help her!" said Rahim, grabbing Erik's shoulders and pulling him from the room. Erik caught a brief glimpse of Christine before the door closed.

In the sitting room, Erik was pacing across the room. His mind was flooded with emotions. First, turmoil from watching his wife be in great pain, relief from seeing his daughter alive and healthy, and fret over whether his beloved wife would live or die. What will I do if she dies? How can I go on?

"My God, Rahim. She used every single ounce of her strength. She grew so weak and frail. What if she's dying?"

"Erik, you must not fret now. The doctor is trying to save her life. We don't know anything until he is finished. You must be strong. For Christine's sake and your daughter's."

"We don't even have a name for her yet. I can't give her a name without Christine. We were going to choose together. I can't bear it if she dies. I swore that our daughter would grow up with a mother."

"All we can do is wait and hope," said Rahim.

The cuckoo clock on the fireplace mantel struck twelve. An hour had passed and they waited and waited. Kit was whimpering sadly until Erik gave her a little scratch behind the ears. "There, there, girl." Finally, the doctor came from the room as the midwife went upstairs with the baby to the nursery. "Is my wife all right?" said Erik.

"She is alive, but she is still unconscious. I cannot deny that her condition is not very serious. She has exhausted herself to great limits. I was able to stop and control her bleeding before more could be lost. I have given her a sedative to keep her heart rate calm. She is still very weak. It will be a miracle if she lasts the night. If she wakes by tomorrow, she will have a long recovery ahead of her. The midwife will care for your daughter until your wife wakes. But you must prepare yourself for whatever may happen."

With that, Rahim led the doctor out as Erik went upstairs. As he passed by the baby's room, he saw the midwife had wrapped the baby in a blanket and set her down to sleep. But all Erik could think about for the moment was Christine. Seeing that the baby was being taken care of, he went back downstairs and entered their bedroom and found Christine asleep in the bed. The amber glow of the lit lamp cast a gleam on her face. The rain gently tapped against the window. He sat down beside her and looked down at her sleeping form. He shuddered as he observed the state she was in. Her face was worn out and pale. Her lips were nearly white. Her eyelids were gray. Exhaustion was written on her face. If not for her gentle breathing, Erik could have mistaken her to be dead. He picked up her small wrist and felt a faint heartbeat. Then, he traced his fingers through her brown curls and touched her face as though she were made of porcelain.

"Oh, my love…" he whispered gently. Tears were welling up in his eyes. "Christine..." he cried softly, voice breaking. "Don't go…please, don't go." No longer able to keep his tears back, he let them fall gently on her face. Carefully, he leaned down and tenderly kissed her lips. Throughout the night, he stayed at her side, waiting for any signs of life.