Itona woke up, breathing heavily. He felt like he was trapped in a corner–

His head hurt.

Itona raised a hand to feel his non-existent tentacles. He shut his eyes and thought he heard Shiro's cold voice and the whirring of the machines and he thought he smelled the stench of blood and disinfectant–

He opened his eyes.

Pitch black continued to greet him. He couldn't see shit. It felt like an iron fist was clenching his heart.

What the fuck?! It's just a nightmare. Get over it.

Panic seized him and his breathing quickened, but he forced himself to think rationally.

He wasn't in Shiro's facility anymore. He was safe and at Muramatsu's house.

He wasn't in Shiro's facility anymore. He was safe and at Muramatsu's house.

Itona gritted his teeth. Shiro and his freaky friends and AKELOTA couldn't bother him anymore. He was strong he was strong–

The word "strong" brought up unpleasant memories. Itona bit his lip.

Wait, he had friends.

.

.

.

That was right. He had friends. Friends who supported him unconditionally. He had Terasaka and Muramatsu and Yoshida and Hara and Hazama and Takebayashi–

And Kayano.

He had Kayano. His first friend. His first friend he met at the facility.

For one moment, Itona didn't know what to do. So he just had a nightmare–it was no big deal, wasn't it? He should just roll his eyes and go back to sleep. But somehow, Itona couldn't do it. It sounded so easy but he couldn't. Paralyzing fear struck him and his mind went blank. He could hear his quickening heartbeat, and that noise made his anxiety levels spike.

WHY WAS HE SO SCARED–

He knew why. Shiro had hurt him in so many ways, and he was somehow still hurting Itona even if he wasn't there. Itona held back the urge to puke.

Maybe he could find Kayano. After all, she'd helped him in the facility, and they were on good terms now.

BUT IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT–

Fuck it! Maybe he wasn't as strong as he thought he was! Maybe his strength came from his friends instead!

Itona acted impulsively. He leapt out of bed, snatched a jacket, and dashed out of Muramatsu's house. At that point, he was so familiar with Kayano's address he could probably sleepwalk there.

White puffs of snow fell from the sky and clung onto his skin. The icy wetness seeped warmth from his body, and the wind stung his eyes. Itona shivered and started to regret he only brought a jacket. The way to Kayano's seemed especially long with the darkness and cold surrounding him, but he made it. He stumbled to her door and used his frozen knuckles to knock. And he waited.

One second, two seconds–

The door slammed open. A rectangle of light from the inside of her apartment shone on him. Kayano, dressed in pyjamas complete with fluffy slippers, looked at him, concerned. She then dragged him inside. "What happened, Itona?" she asked gently.

"I-" Now that he was actually at Kayano's, Itona began to think he had done something really stupid. He'd probably scared the life out of Kayano because he had a freakin' nightmare.

"You're freezing!" Kayano pointed out. She took off his jacket and ushered him to her sofa, then she wrapped him in a thick blanket. Warmth enveloped him and Itona felt his muscles relax.

"Here. Don't move." It was a little bit hilarious that Kayano, with her short stature, was bossing him around, but it seemed like something she would do. Kayano hurried into her kitchen and emerged with a steaming cup of tea. Itona breathed in and felt warm air enter his lungs. He took a sip and cleared his throat.

"Ah, thanks, Kayano," he mumbled.

Kayano plopped down on the sofa next to him, and inched closer. "You want to talk? It's okay if you don't, but I'll always be here for you."

Itona gulped. "Now that I think about it, it sounds really dumb–"

"I'm sure it isn't if you ran all the way here." Kayano placed a comforting hand on Itona's shoulder. "Whatever you're feeling, it's valid."

Okay. Kayano was there for him, even if it was 1am. She didn't care how trivial Itona's problems might be. Itona stared at the cup of tea in his hands.

"I had a nightmare," he began abruptly. "It was about Shiro."

"I dreamt that I was back in the facility with the machines and pills and experimentations. And I just felt so… sickened. Disgusted. Horrified." Itona breathed and didn't realize his hands were shaking. "It felt like I was still back there with him. Like he could still control me. I know this doesn't sound logical in the slightest because I know I'm safe now, but I still feel so… scared."

"It sounds perfectly logical," Kayano reassured him. "I think you've been scarred by your experience, and that's normal! I'm traumatized too." Her expression turned serious. "We should not have experienced the terrible things that we did. It's okay to be afraid."

"It's okay, it's okay," Itona absentmindedly muttered to himself as his fingers played the bandana on his head. Kayano felt the same. Being scared didn't mean he was weak. And–

"It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes," Kayano said softly. She pulled Itona closer, and he subconsciously laid his head on her shoulder. "I know it's tough pretending to be indifferent and strong. It gets tiring."

Suddenly, Itona couldn't speak. He couldn't pinpoint the emotions churning inside him. He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the warmth. He could feel Kayano breathe, and that gentle rise-fall movement comforted him.

It's okay to be vulnerable…

There was a part of him that vehemently protested at that idea. He'd spent literal years trying to be strong and victorious, but for once, it felt… nice to accept that he couldn't be strong at all times. He didn't have to force himself to be someone he wasn't.

"Kayano…" he uttered. "How do I stop being scared? I know that won't happen immediately, but I want to move on from the past."

"It's a long process," Kayano admitted. She sat up straighter, and tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. "Hey, Itona, name something you can see right now."

Itona blinked, surprised by her question. "Alright. I see a pudding plushie that suspiciously looks like Kunudon."

"How about something you can smell?"

"Your cheap strawberry shampoo."

"Something you can hear?"

"Umm." Itona didn't know what to say. "Your voice? And the rustling of the leaves outside."

"Can you feel something?"

Itona looked down. "This fluffy blanket that is surprisingly enough not itchy?"

"You're completely correct! You're sensing all of these things. You're not in the facility. You're not strapped to a machine." She took Itona's hands. "You're with me in my apartment and I promise you're safe."

"Huh."

Kayano nudged Itona. "It's a grounding technique that uses your five senses. It helps you be more aware of your surroundings and I think it can help you calm down."

Itona took in a few deep breaths. He focused on the cheerful yellow of Kayano's pudding plushies and the pictures of her friends and the heat of the cup in his hands. And he focused on the softness of the blanket and Kayano's body warmth and the sound of her voice. And how different it was from the dreary and cold facility he used to be stuck inside.

And he felt better. So he told her that.

Kayano beamed at him. "I'm glad that helped. You can stay for as long as you like."

"It's 2 in the morning."

Kayano shrugged. "You can stay the night, but I think Muramatsu will get really worried."

"Yeah, he will. But anyways, thanks for letting me stay, Kayano. Don't want to sound mushy, but I really appreciate it."

Itona knew he and Kayano had come so far. At first, at Shiro's facility, he despised her because he saw her as competition, which (grudgingly) evolved into respect and then admiration. Then, they started to chat and buy snacks for each other (the tiger key charm was still dangling on Itona's bag), and they grew closer and closer until Shiro separated them. Itona remembered how his respect for Kayano had dissolved momentarily when she asked him to leave Shiro. Itona was such an idiot back then, but thankfully Kayano never gave up on him. Kayano may have lied about her identity, but she had always fiercely cared for her friends. And that was why Itona liked Kayano so much. Itona couldn't imagine how much worse his life would be if she hadn't joined Shiro's AKELOTA programme.

… He was grateful he'd given her a second chance.

He was really grateful he'd met her, and he wouldn't have it any other way.