The sun had already hidden below the horizon of the twoleg structures. The last of its light thinly vailed the fresh snowfall, reflecting onto everything else that could take it. The abandoned nests snapped with each gust of wind. In the distance, from the second floor in the nest, the silverpath glisten like new. The she-cat dragged her paws across the balcony, towards the sole unblocked den ahead of her. Her fur was specked with mud, shaking bits of it away as her paws thumped against the stone; she winced each time they came down too hard. She had flat fur across her back and sides, less so around her belly, from where the vest was usually firmly secured. The pinkish glow in her eyes was hidden by her low eyelids, but they kept staring forward. She did not notice her claws tapping about, or the claws of the one ahead of her.
"Blackleaf?" a deep voice called out. "Blackleaf is that you?"
"Yes," she mewed. "You wanted to see me?"
The medicine cat pushed open the wood cover and closed it mostly behind her. Barely summoning the strength, Blackleaf leapt onto the table to her leader's backside. Her cropped tail flicked about, and she was staring at the picture of the cat and her owner. Each step closer made it flick again.
"Why did you—"
"Claws, Blackleaf."
Blackleaf, briefly shutting her eyes, felt her claws bury themselves below her fur. The orange and brown spots on her came in full view when she turned to meet her daze with a glare and a curled nose.
"I can smell you," Solestar said.
"I haven't had time to bathe," Blackleaf said. "I'll find a heated silvertube and—"
"That's not the only way," Solestar whispered.
Every fur on Blackleaf's neck shuttered. Her eyes finally opened in full.
"Tell me, are you lying to me?" Solestar asked.
"Why would I lie to you?" Blackleaf said.
The leader sighed, facing and towering over her. "Then tell me what our progress is with these talks?"
Blackleaf's tail flicked about before cowering under her legs. "We… I am still trying to arrange a meeting with Windstripe. Every time I'm told off by one of her comrades."
Solestar's claws were tapping at the wood. "It has been half a moon since you joined Flyfoot in these talks. And when she dropped out for good, nothing has come of it. I'm considering just calling it all off. If Clementstar wants his warriors back, he'll have to convince—"
"No! I just need more time—"
"You have spoken to them eight times without Flyfoot present. And Windstripe showed how many times?"
Blackleaf turned her head away.
"Don't be meek with me, kit!" Solestar hissed.
"Once," Blackleaf mewed. "Just once, to confirm each side's captives were still alive."
"Unbelievable," Solestar began circling the medicine cat, lingering on every flinch. "We still don't have Molenose. If I knew Flyfoot would trade a warrior with those apprentices."
"I believe… we—"
"Why have you been so difficult around me?"
"I'm not being difficult. I just think we need more time."
"More time? More time for what? Nothing has happened in half a moon."
Blackleaf turned away.
Solestar nodded. "Exactly. It's not working anymore."
"What about Molenose?"
"Flyfoot refused to speak to UnderClan, even when I suggested she do it alone. She was done before you were involved."
"She would never leave Molenose to the enemy. They were of the same clan—"
"Let's talk about Molenose and Flyfoot." Solestar stopped behind Blackleaf. "Why would Flyfoot be willing to give him up?"
"She wouldn't. She—"
"Because you said it yourself. She would never leave him to the enemy. So why now?"
"Maybe she's put his faith in the Star's paws."
"Don't give me that," Solestar growled.
"Give you what?" Blackleaf snapped. "Flyfoot never stopped believing just because most of the clan did."
"How can you be sure she wasn't StarClan's answer for him? Or you? She had a chance and gave it up."
"Well…" Blackleaf tried looking at Solestar.
"No, don't look at me," Solestar said. "If it's something she would do, then why isn't she doing it anymore?"
Blackleaf's tail curled around her. "I think—"
"Why would she leave her comrade of two clans to our enemy? Out of frustration? Towards you?"
"Solestar, you—"
"Maybe it has something to do with bringing up her old wounds? Fighting her? Biting her back and scratching her chin?"
"Let me finish—"
"She almost choked you out. She could've killed you. For what? You losing your temper like a—"
"Solestar! Shut your mouth and let me finish!"
Blackleaf was smacked from the table against the wall. She barely saw Solestar's paw finish its arch after she hit the ground.
"Whose side are you on!? You couldn't possibly convince me you're right in this."
Blackleaf let herself lay, groaning. Solestar's fur calmed as she peered over the table at her. Blackleaf's head was curled between her front paws, shielding her eyes. She used her tail to hide the rest of her face from view. The older cat leapt from the table and seated herself a tail's length away. She stared blankly at the wall, brushing it with her whiskers.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Blackleaf was motionless. Solestar slid closer, but backed off immediately. She sat in silence for a short while, staring at the small cracks in the wall. Her claws were out; she retracted them at a quick glance. The remaining light shining through the clear-stone above began to recede. Finally looking to her side, she shuttered.
"Blackleaf, I'm sorry." She moved closer, sitting and resting her head on top of the younger cat's. "I shouldn't have done that. Let me look for a mark."
She slid her tail away from her face. Solestar peered into Blackleaf's eyes. They were narrow and looking towards nothing on the other side of the den.
"… fault," Blackleaf mumbled.
Solestar pried the paw from the medicine cat's face.
"I'm not finding answers as quick as I hoped," Blackleaf mewed.
"Don't blame yourself." Solestar was gently stroking Blackleaf's face.
"Flyfoot still won't talk to me. You were right about me and her."
Solestar was silent, continuing to stroke Blackleaf's face.
"I don't think I am being as useful to our comrades as I thought. There just isn't enough time… I can't even figure out how to explain it."
Blackleaf paused, waiting for her leader to say something.
"Solestar… what's wrong with me?"
Solestar went back to looking at the cracked wall. Even when Blackleaf tried to meet her eyes, they were kept from her. The two sat while the buzz from the twoleg lights echoed across the clearing. The two occasionally glanced at each other, the other looking away when they felt shifting. Finally, Blackleaf uncurled herself. Solestar let her paw slide from her head and down her back before tapping against the floor when she moved away, ears flat. After a few attempts, Blackleaf managed to soften her fur.
"I… I am asking for your advice," Solestar said.
Blackleaf narrowed her eyes, claws scraping the floor.
"A warrior died of blackcough last night. An older one. More continue to get sick. Our comrades believe their superstitions closer every night, that the Star Covenant and Rye are to blame. The truce will end, and… I don't know if we are ready for what is coming next."
Blackleaf padded towards the den's exit, not once glancing back at her leader. Solestar waited for her to prop it open a bit, ears dropping lower each time she heard her claws tap.
"What should I do?"
"I told you I wouldn't fail you," Blackleaf said. "I can't afford to at a time like this."
Solestar shook her head, closing her eyes. Blackleaf glanced back. The creak of the exit being pushed snapped both from their thoughts.
"I'm sorry… I still have faith in you," Solestar mewed.
Blackleaf was silent.
"I could never hate you, and… we can discuss Flyfoot another time. Don't worry about it right now."
The medicine cat slipped out the den without a word.
x
xxx
x
The stone floors felt no better than the snow to her. Blackleaf padded slowly through the massive tunnel, shaking her wet fur occasionally and brushing its puff from her face. She kept her tail high in the air, but her head low. Sniffing at the ground, she caught the sour scent of thin-tar running along the edges of the walls. Even with her ears flat, she could hear the hum of the mechanisms from the inside out. As she turned the corner, the same yellow twoleg lights brightly lit the massive tunnel her path led into. She paused to shake excess water from her legs. The familiar tunnel had been emptied out. The silverwood that blocked all of the smaller dens along the walls had been removed, each one cleared of its contents. Even the back of it looked a bit different, going deeper than before with some of the snow and mud removed. She turned her focus to the first den on the right, still uncovered and radiating warmth. Stepping through it, her heart skipped a beat. Glancing around, she saw that the twoleg objects piled against the wall had been removed as well. Before she could leap towards the fake-fur blanket, a muffled hiss scared her back. But it steadied her to hear it.
"It's getting to me, but I'm not dead yet."
A large, gray she-cat crawled out from under the blanket. The sight of her ribs through her chest made Blackleaf look away briefly. Some of the green in her eyes had faded, but she kept her head up in defiance. She had more bald patches, new ones forming around her tail and flank.
"Blackcough drives one mad, I see," the False Shadow said. "I'm not even sure I want to go back to UnderClan at this rate. I'd definitely infect the others."
"I told you I would help you," Blackleaf said.
"I hope it's sooner rather than later. I think I can no longer have kits."
"What?"
"Oh. Did I let that slip?" The False Shadow buried her bald flank under the blanket. "Just a hunch. It would be awful if it were true, so maybe I'll ask Fleetheart about it."
"Oh." Blackleaf wrapped her tail around her paws.
"I'm angry at something, I guess," the False Shadow said. "When my use as a warrior was lost, I would become a queen, full time. But that was just a thought I had when I was certain the war would end…"
"It's going to end, one way or another," Blackleaf said.
"Yeah. But not the way I thought it would… Ancestor clans do not adhere to the warrior code, so you can have kits whenever you want."
The medicine cat stayed silent. Her tail wrapped tighter around her paws. She tried to avoid eye contact, glancing at the empty corners of the den. They let the hum of the lights light and the rumbling in the walls take their attention. The False Shadow stared blankly at the ground before forcing a ball of filth from her mouth. It sagged into a flatter mound once it hit the ground. She swatted it away and started coughing, shoving her face into the blanket. Her tail jerked violently around, but she did her best to hide her chest and ribs from the medicine cat. She stayed curled, waiting until she was certain it was over. She made sure that each chunk of pus was brushed from her blanket and into the corner she sat against, careful not to mix it with what had already dried. The False Shadow glanced at Blackleaf; she shrieked into the corner, hissing to stop her from approaching.
"Stay away," she snapped. "You aren't immune. If you get this—"
"I know!" Blackleaf yelled. "Did you ever figure I don't care if I get blackcough?"
The False Shadow's ears dropped. "It takes your kits, Blackleaf."
"Well, maybe I never want kits. I would've had them by now if I did."
"Maybe you do, maybe you don't. But this disease can kill you. Not just an opportunity for kits, but for life."
"Maybe I don't deserve either…"
Blackleaf let her voice trail off.
"What did you just say?" the False Shadow's neck fur shot up.
She stayed silent.
"Blackleaf, what did you mean by that?"
"I'll deal with it on my own." Blackleaf retracted her claws. "I promise."
"Don't ever think like that again," the False Shadow growled.
"I'm fine—"
"You know what I'm talking about. Don't think like that—"
"Can we talk about something else!?" Blackleaf cried out. "…Please?"
The False Shadow tapped her paw against the floor. Blackleaf finally looked at her, and the anger in her face melted away. Approached again, the older cat backed away, swiping the air in front of her. When Blackleaf focused on her claws, she quickly hid them.
"Your claws are dull now," Blackleaf whispered.
"Well, I guess it's all that picking my fur. Not much else to do around here."
"I… should visit more often."
"I think it's best that you don't."
"There are things I want to talk to you about," Blackleaf mewed. "Things I think I can only say to you."
The False Shadow's fur flattened. "Don't think you have to go through this alone. Or with just me. Whatever friends you have, let them help you, too."
"The help I want is with StarClan's absence. It's just been a hard day for me. That's all. Just a hard day."
"Do you want to tell me about your day, then? I'll trust you to tell me more when you're ready. Okay?"
Blackleaf took a deep breath, retracting her claws again. Her fur had finally started drying out, but it stayed spiked. She still kept her tail in the air, standing and shaking again.
"Cleaning fur can't be easy for you," the False Shadow said. "You don't do it in the river, do you?"
"I'm sorry, but… I just can't do this right now," Blackleaf said.
"What's… yeah. We can do this another time."
The False Shadow curled back into her corner. Blackleaf took a step towards her, but shied away.
"I wish I didn't have to leave you alone," Blackleaf whispered.
"It's okay," The False Shadow said. "I'll be right here if you need me."
"No, I didn't mean it like that."
"Oh?"
Blackleaf peered around the corner of the den's entrance for others before padding to the middle of it. The False Shadow backed as far as she could into her corner.
"I…" Blackleaf looked away. "I don't want you to think you're just here to help me with StarClan."
"Aren't I? Well, aside from being a prisoner."
"Not to me. You're more than that to me."
"A friendly face?"
"I don't know," Blackleaf turned around. "But I don't want to see you upset."
"That's nice to hear," the False Shadow purred.
"And if it comes to it, I'll even help you escape."
Her purring stopped. She waited for Blackleaf to speak again, but she stayed turned around, finally letting her tail drop.
"You're serious," the False Shadow said. "But what about—"
"You would rather not be a prisoner, right?" Blackleaf said.
"Well, I—"
"I wouldn't want to fail my kin, either. So, if it comes to it… I've decided to trust you. I'll tell you what I find related to StarClan. And, when I'm ready, myself."
The False Shadow's purrs returned. "If I didn't have blackcough, I'd hug you right now. You seem like you could use it."
"What do you mean?" Blackleaf mewed.
"Your legs were shaking while you said that."
She tensed up; her legs relaxed. Blackleaf glanced at the older she-cat and moved towards the entrance.
"We can speak another time," the False Shadow said. "You just take care of yourself right now. And I'll take no words on my clanmates as a sign nothing's changed?"
"Yeah," Blackleaf said. "Since the apprentices left, your comrades have gotten more of their portions."
"As good as I can hope for, I guess."
The False Shadow slid away from her corner when Blackleaf walked through the entrance. She glanced back at the captive once more; she was nibbling at what was left of the fur on her flank.