Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 20

The smell of fresh breakfast filled the air, as Anna flipped the next pancake on the griddle. She had woken up wanting a large breakfast and had snuck out of bed before John woke up to make it.

Luke came downstairs first. He was already dressed and ready for his school day. Upon seeing the breakfast spread, he smiled.

"Pancakes for breakfast?!" He giddily asked, sliding into the chair at the island in the kitchen.

"Yes," Anna said, placing some on a plate and putting it in front of Luke with some syrup. "Do you have all your things for school? Gran is taking you this morning, because your dad has to make an appointment and I have to do some work here at home."

Luke nodded, before digging into his pancakes. Anna and John had been married for a few months now. Within that time, the three of them had fallen into an easy routine. Anna had taken over the role as Luke's mother easily, but she swore it was because Luke made it easy. She said she was blessed for such a great kid.

John came in as Anna turned off the stove and gave a warm smile.

"Good morning," he said to the two. He strode over to Anna and gave her a loving kiss. "This looks amazing."

"It's really good!" Luke told his father. "All those cooking lessons paid off."

"Yes," Anna agreed. "They did. Now, eat up, John. You have to leave soon."

John did as he was told and made himself a plate of food. He went to sit down next to Luke and began eating. When Anna didn't join them, he glanced up.

"Are you going to eat?"

Anna's head shook. "I'm feeling a bit poorly this morning," she explained.

"Then why did you go to all this trouble? Luke and I would have been content to eat cereal."

"I know. When I woke up I was starving, but after making it all, nothing sounds good. I'll probably just eat some crackers," Anna simply said. John's brows furrowed.

"I feel bad you woke up to make all of this and aren't enjoying it," John replied. Anna walked over to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

"Don't," she quietly said. "I'm going to run upstairs and finish getting my things together. Luke, have a good day! I'll pick you up after school."

Anna quickly made her way upstairs. She wasn't going into work until around lunch, but she had a big presentation to prepare for in the meantime.

As she pulled her folder out of her bag, a wave of nausea consumed her. She closed her eyes and inhaled to attempt to calm it. It worked and she got herself back to work. However, once more, another wave hit her. This time she had to rush to the bathroom to heave over the toilet.

Once the heaving finally settled, Anna sat herself up and ran her hand over her head. She moaned and stood herself up. She did not have time to be sick. The client today was an important one who would bring in more clients and she had done all of the work for the presentation. It wasn't something she could hand over to someone else.

Anna took herself to the sink to wash her face and to try to liven herself up. Meeting her eyes in the mirror, a thought passed through her.

"No," she murmured, but her lips moved up into a small smile. "Well, maybe….."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

When John reached their bedroom, he heard Anna retching in the toilet. He rushed to her and quickly grabbed her hair and held it back for her. Anna sat back a moment later and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe her lips.

"Oh my darling," John sighed. "You should get right to bed."

Anna shook her head and glanced up at John with a smile.

"I'm alright," she promised him.

"You're not," he countered. He brought his hand up and rested it on her forehead. "You aren't warm at least."

Anna reached up and pulled his hand away from her face. Then she lifted up a small white stick that was sitting in her lap.

"I'm not sick, John," she said, showing him the stick. It took a brief moment, but the moment the realization hit him, John's lips curled up into the brightest, excited smile.

"Oh my god," he breathed. "You're pregnant!"

Anna chuckled. "I am. This morning when I felt off, I decided to take a test. I didn't expect to get a positive so quickly."

John helped Anna up and then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes.

After they got married, the two decided they would give nature a chance to see if they could conceive, even though Anna knew she had struggled in the past. Anna didn't want to focus on charts or medicine or anything like that during their first months of marriage. They had decided if they didn't get pregnant by the summer, they would go to Sybil, an OBGYN who specialized in infertility.

"Are you excited?" Anna questioned against John's chest.

"I'm thrilled," he responded.

"It's early, so we shouldn't tell Luke or anyone else, yet," Anna began. "I'll call Sybil and see about an appointment."

John grinned and bent over to catch her lips with his own, but Anna sat back and shook her head.

"You don't want to kiss me right now," she reminded him. John nodded and kissed her forehead instead. Then he carefully got down on his good knee and inched up Anna's top.

"Hello in there," he said, placing his hand against her taut stomach and then fanning out his fingers over the expanse of her belly. "I can't wait to meet you little one."

Anna chuckled and ran her fingers through John's hair. John gave her stomach a quick kiss, before pulling himself back up to his feet.

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Mr. Bates."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Sybil's practice was busy and of all the doctors, she was the most requested one. It wasn't until two weeks later that Anna and John were able to have their first appointment for their little one. It had been a hard secret to keep, especially because Anna's morning sickness seemed to be all consuming, especially at night. Anna joked many times how the name was misleading.

After the initial tests and exams were done, they began the sonogram. John sat next to Anna and the two held hands. Soon, the monitor was on and they could hear the loud sounds of a heartbeat.

"Oh wow," Anna said. The last time she was pregnant, she had never been able to hear her baby's heartbeat. Sybil pointed out the blob on the screen and told them that was their baby.

"The baby is measuring at seven weeks and three days," Sybil informed them.

"Oh wow," Anna murmured. "And it looks healthy?"

"Yes," Sybil assured with a smile. "I will have you come back in 5-6 weeks for a follow up appointment. Until then, keep taking your prenatal vitamins and let me know if you have any issues."

"Thank you."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Later that evening, Anna crawled into bed to find John searching through baby names on his phone. The corners of Anna's lips curled up slightly and she rested her head against his shoulder.

"What names were you liking?" Anna questioned him with a yawn.

"Oh I don't know," John answered. "None are jumping out at me."

"Do you think it's a girl or a boy?" John's head shook.

"No idea," he replied. His hand snaked between the two of them and rested on her still flat stomach.

"Which would you prefer?"

"I don't care," John responded. "Just a healthy baby. You?"

Anna chuckled. "Well now if I say I have a preference, I'll look bad."

"Never," John said. "I know you'll love it either way."

"That's true. I really just want a healthy baby, too. I know Luke will hope it's a boy. Our next appointment is the day before his birthday. Maybe after his birthday we can tell him we're having him a sibling. I'll be over twelve weeks by then."

John brought his hand up to rest on Anna's chin and tilted her head up to him.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. He's going to be ecstatic."

"I hope so," Anna said, biting on her lower lip.

"Oh he will be. I don't know how I'll keep it a secret these next five and a half weeks."

"Well, you'll have to Mr. Bates, or else…."

"Or else what?" John countered with a mischievous smile. Anna pursed her lips together playfully and sighed.

"I don't know, but watch out," she teased. John brought his arm around Anna and she tucked her head into his arm, before falling asleep.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"My birthday's tomorrow!" Luke exclaimed, coming into the kitchen and placing his knapsack on the bench. He then pulled out his homework and set it on the island to begin working on his work.

"I know!" Anna happily said to Luke. "We have everything set for your party this weekend."

"My friends are all jealous that you're my mum and can plan epic parties for me," Luke informed her with a big smile. Anna's heart nearly leapt out of her chest. She couldn't explain how wonderful it felt to be so accepted by Luke. "I did tell them you could plan them parties like mine too," Luke added.

"Good," Anna said with a wink. "Do you need any help with your work?"

Luke shook his head.

"No. I have just a short page to finish and then I'll be done. Can I play video games after I finish?"

Anna cocked her head to the side, as though she was in deep thought about his question, before nodding.

"Yes. As soon as your dad gets here, he and I have to leave for a short appointment. You'll be heading over to the neighbor's then. We won't be gone long."

"Okay!" Luke said. He quickly did his work and then zoomed downstairs to the basement to get a little bit of playing time in.

Anna cleaned off the counters, before resting her hand on her belly. Over the past couple of weeks, she had begun to feel better and her morning sickness had gone. She was anxious to tell Luke, who still asked weekly if he would ever get a sibling.

As Anna finished up the dishes, she heard the front door open. She turned and saw John walking in with a small bouquet of flowers. Anna's lips turned up into a smile and she walked toward him.

"Are those for me, Mr. Bates?"

"No," John teased, "they are for the baby." John handed her the flowers and bent over to give her a kiss. "Are you ready to go to our appointment? Where is Luke?"

"He's downstairs playing his game."

"Ah, I'll send him over to the neighbors. Get on your shoes and we'll head out."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

They entered the examination room with excited anticipation of their update on the baby. At nearly 13 weeks, Anna was excited to see how much the baby had grown from her last appointment.

Sybil came in soon after they arrived and they were both grateful that they didn't have to wait long.

"How are you feeling?" Sybil brightly asked, as she got things ready for the examination.

"Much better than last time," Anna chuckled.

"Yes, second trimester is usually much easier than the first," Sybil agreed. "Today's appointment will be quick. We'll just check on the little one and then you will be on your way. Alright?"

"Alright."

"Lean back for me," Sybil instructed. Anna did as she was told. Soon the warm gel was against her skin and she anxiously awaited seeing her baby on the screen.

Sybil had the screen faced toward her for measurements. So Anna just kept looking at John, who was looking back at her with a goofy grin. Anna's nose twitched, as Sybil moved the wand lower, but she just twisted her lips playfully to John.

The wand was removed from Anna's stomach, which made Anna jerk her head back to Sybil.

"Sybil…." Anna questioned, her voice tight. Glancing back at her was a solemn face. Anna slowly sat up.

"Anna, John," Sybil carefully began. "I am so very sorry, but there is no heartbeat."

Anna blinked harshly. She felt as John's hand tightened around hers.

"Wh…what?" Anna asked, her head shaking slightly. "But….I made it past twelve weeks. I thought….."

Sybil sighed and nodded her head. "Generally twelve weeks is a positive sign, but sadly it is not a guarantee. Based on the measurements, I found that your baby likely passed two weeks ago."

Anna inhaled sharply and John's other hand came to rest on her shoulder to give her support. She wanted to cry, but no tears would come. Instead, she just felt absolutely numb. It was John who asked the next question.

"What do we do now?"

"I would recommend a D&C. Eventually the baby should miscarry naturally if that is what you prefer, but I think it may be best to do the D&C."

Anna's lower lip quivered. She nodded her head, but didn't say anything. She could barely feel John's hands on her. Nothing felt real anymore.

"We can set you up an appointment for the D&C tomorrow morning. I know I have an opening. It can be first thing in the morning, so you can go home and rest the rest of the day."

It was then that Anna shook her head. "I….I can't….not….not tomorrow," she stumbled. "It's Luke's birthday. He…..I can't be…..he….." She couldn't get the words out. John walked around to face her and he placed both of his hands on her shoulders.

"I think we should do as Sybil recommends, Anna," John lovingly insisted.

"But Luke…." Anna cried. John sighed, bringing his hand up to rest on her cheek.

"He'll still have his party this weekend. He'll have all of his friends. He won't realize you're missing. He'll understand."

"I….I missed his party last year because I was sick. He'll think I'm avoiding him…or….or…." She was growing hysterical now. John just wrapped his arms tightly around her and held her close.

"Set the appointment," John quietly said to Sybil. Sybil nodded and left the room to give them their space and some time to grieve.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

That night John woke up to Anna missing from the bed. He could hear the water from the shower running. Slowly, he got out up and walked toward their bathroom. As he stepped into the bathroom, he could hear the muffled sobs of his wife. It broke his heart.

John slipped out of his clothes. Then he entered the shower and placed his hand on Anna's shoulder. She turned toward him and fell into his arms, her cries echoing on the walls.

To be continued...

I know it's a little rough right now. Thank you for reading!