Shrek had no idea what to think anymore. Everything was happening so fast. A few hours ago he believed that Mario had tried to kill him, betray him. Now he found out the truth. His mind was racing, his inner voices shrouding his thinking. He started to question everything. His life, his path, his friends, his enemies, everything. Was any of it actually real? Was it all just a fabricated reality that he was forced into? He took a deep breath as he tried to release his emotions, clear his thoughts. He knew what he had to do next. He needed to find Mario.
The best place he could think of was at wherever he was when he saw Herobrine and his goons. If anything, Mario would have been held captive there. He checked a random watch that he found in the middle of the street, surely he had enough time to make it back by midnight. Shrek absorbed the oxygen around him and exhaled carbon dioxide. He leaped into the air and landed on the portal that Harry Potter had created. He warped back to the portal room and quickly transformed into a raccoon. Shrecoon quietly made his way to the door that he saw Herobrine close.
Once he stepped into the hallway, he realized that wherever he was it must've been some kind of castle. The ground was covered in a red carpet, cheetos were scattered across the ground. The windows looked strikingly similar to the ones in Hogwarts. As Shrecoon's paws were pittering across the carpet, he heard a strange noise come from behind him. He froze before silently turning around. Standing behind him was a massive creature. He instantly recognized it when he noticed the scientology uniform he was wearing, it was Tom Cruise.
"How did you get into the castle little fella?" asked Tom Cruise.
Shrecoon screamed like a raccoon and started to run away. Tom Cruise being Tom Cruise managed to catch up to him in no time. He grabbed Shrecoon and lifted him into the air.
"Do not be afraid little one, I will take you to safety," Tom Cruise reassured.
Shrecoon tried to escape but was stopped by the sheer strength of Tom Cruise's grasp. As he was being carried down the hallway he made sure that he inspected every aspect of the castle. He noted several rooms that could contain weapons or people, he saw what looked to be a massive replica of his Spaghettria. What was Herobrine planning exactly? Tom Cruise brought Shrek to the reception.
"Look what I found scurrying down the hall," Tom Cruise said to the receptionist.
The receptionist looked up, his eyes appearing as if they hadn't got sleep in days. Shrecoon gasped as he realized who he was staring at, Pyrocynical.
"So are we keeping it as a pet or throwing it outside?" he asked.
Tom Cruise placed Shrecoon down on the desk where Pyro sat. He tried to run away, but Tom Cruise held him down.
"This one is quite the fighter, we could put him in the training camp for pets and other animals," suggested Tom.
Pyrocynical didn't really care.
"Sure whatever."
Tom Cruise smiled and gently lifted Shrecoon back into his arms. He brought him down a different hallway and into a small room. The room was filled with cages containing several different animals. Including but not limited to: Foxes, snakes, bats, parakeets, pink fairy armadillos, and many more. Shrecoon was brought into another room that contained several racoons.
"Here you go little buddy, make some new friends," Tom Cruise said in glee. Shrecoon tried to escape once more as he saw the racoons staring at him. "Aww is someone shy? Don't worry they are very friendly," Tom Cruise reassured.
Once Shrecoon was placed down Tom Cruise ran back to the door and shut it. Shrecoon was stuck. He gulped as he scanned the eyes that watched him. Eventually one of the racoons walked up to him and held out their paw.
"My name is Hellbender, who are you?"
Shrecoon nearly asked him what the actual hell his name was, but held himself back.
"Shrek, I am not a racoon! I need to get out of here!"
Hellbender laughed and said, "Not the first time we heard that one am I right bois?"
All the other racoons laughed.
"Don't worry Shrek, we all wish we weren't here. But really, it isn't that bad. Better than running away from those damn walkers let me tell you." Hellbender did a triple backflip before saying, "Our trainer will be coming any moment now, I am sure he will be happy to meet you."
Just then they heard someone call out from the other room.
"Itsa time for your training!"
Shrecoon went wide eyed as he recognized the voice. It couldn't be… The door open and standing there was Mario, with a strange metal object wrapped around his ankle.
"Hello!" Mario yelled in a Mario accent.
The racoons began t-posing around Mario. Hellbender nudged Shrek.
"Come on bro, this is how we greet people."
Shrecoon wanted to commit no longer alive, but figured he would go along for now. Mario laughed as he saw them t-posing.
"I see you are all doing well today." He shifted his attention onto Shrecoon. "We also seem to have a new member of the Raccoon Gang." Mario bent down and looked at Shrecoon in the eyes. "You seem familiar?"
"Mario, it's me Shrek! We need to get out of here?"
The only thing that Mario heard was strange racoon noises.
"Is he yelling at me?" Mario asked the other racoons. Hellbender shrugged. "Well anyway," Mario said as he stood back up. "We should get to training now."
All the racoons began chatting with each other as they walked out of the room. Hellbender walked up to Shrecoon.
"Come on man, we gotta get moving."
Shrecoon sighed as he wondered what the hell this story had just evolved or devolved into. He levitated about the ground and started to hover out of the room. He could see the jealousy in the other animals eyes from their cages. Clearly the Raccoon Gang got way more attention than any other animal gang. They continued out of the room and down a hallway. Eventually they reached a massive door that Mario dabbed in front of. The door opened up revealing a large courtyard, filled with statutes of Herobrine.
"Alright, you all have fifteen minutes of play time, enjoy yourself!" Mario yelled.
All the racoons aside from Hellbender and Shrecoon started to run all over the place. They climbed onto trees and ate chicken nuggets.
"Come on Shrek!" Hellbender yelled as he started to run around.
Shrecoon stood there, wondering why he even bothered existing anymore. He tried his hardest to transform back into his mighty ogre form. Something was holding him back. He looked up to a walkway and saw Harry Potter standing there. He was watching the racoons and squinting at them suspiciously. He knew that something fishy was going on. Shrecoon realized that if he didn't act like a racoon he would be identified. He started to run around, trying to figure out a plan to escape.