To Loki, the time between Christmas and New Year's had always felt strange. The end of one thing; the beginning of another; and in between, six days where time did not exist. But this year, that time flew by. It was the first few week of the new year that seemed bleak, every day the same. He refused to count how many days he had left with Thor, but each morning when he opened his eyes, the weight on his chest grew heavier. He had never dreaded returning to school more.

It was harder and harder to ignore Thor's lingering glances. Thor got more careless as the days went by, while Loki got less. The fear that their parents would notice was only part of it. Really, Loki was stealing himself the pain of having to go their separate ways. Allowing himself to touch Thor only once, twice, four times a day was all he could do to prepare himself for when he could not touch him at all.

He hadn't meant for it to turn into a fight, but it did.

"Loki," Thor said, his voice low. They were in the hallway between their bedrooms, and their parents were just down the stairs in the living room. Thor's hand was warm on Loki's arm.

"Yes?" Loki said at a normal volume. He narrowed his eyes, trying to communicate, It's more suspicious if we whisper.

Thor either didn't notice or didn't care. "You're avoiding me."

"Am I?"

Thor lowered his voice even further. "We only have two days left, and you won't let me kiss you. Why are you upset?"

Giving in, Loki hissed back, "I'm not upset!"

Thor stepped closer, so he and Loki were eye-to-eye. "Then why?"

"Given where we are—" Loki looked meaningfully at the stairs, "—doing anything like that seems like a tremendously bad idea, brother."

Thor raised his eyes briefly to the ceiling. "Obviously we would be discrete."

"Some of us are more discrete than others."

Thor frowned at him and let go of his arm. "What does that mean?" he asked, forgetting to whisper.

Loki grabbed his arm and dragged him into his room. He pushed the door shut and rounded on Thor. "I mean, with the way you're looking at me all the time, anyone would think something was going on between us!"

Thor crossed his arms. "They would never think that. And I've always looked at you. You just didn't notice."

Loki opened his mouth, but he didn't have a good response to that.

"This isn't a game to me, Loki." Thor looked very serious. "I care a lot about the fact that I won't be able to see you for a while. I'm going to miss you." He sighed. "It just feels like we're finally here. I've been wanting this for us for such a long time, and you must have, too. Why can't you let us enjoy that?"

Loki felt himself grow cold. He sat down on the bed. He dug his fingers into the quilt and the mattress underneath. "Have you actually thought about the future?"

Thor blinked. "What?"

"About what us would look like." Loki waved a hand. "What do you see? A white picket fence?"

Unexpectedly, Thor snorted. He smiled slightly to himself. "You sound like Jane." Loki frowned. "No, I don't see a house with a white picket fence, Loki. This is too early for me to know what this will look like. But I do see us, together."

"And ma and pa?" Loki asked quietly.

Thor went still. "Ah," he said.

"Ah," Loki agreed. This was very like Thor, to jump in without thinking it through, to just assume he could work it out as he went along. That Loki would fix it for him. "Sneaking around behind their backs is very different than a white picket fence," he said quietly. "Are you willing to leave our family behind for this?" For me?

Thor looked out the window. He crossed his broad, tanned arms over his chest. The evening light caught in the golden hairs of his beard. He looked like a very different person than the Thor that Loki remembered from their childhood, when they had lived in this house. Mature. Wise. Someone who would make hard decisions.

Thor looked back at him. His usually clear eyes were tired. "Are you?"

Loki swallowed. I already have, he thought, but he couldn't speak. The enormity of it hit him. He had never let himself believe that he and Thor would be here, in this moment. The future had always stretched dimly lit ahead of him. In the past few days, it had shone blindingly bright. Now, while they looked at going their separate ways, it was falling dim again. The feeling was familiar. Thor's path was always clear; Loki's never was.

"I can't ask you to leave our—your family for whatever this is," Loki said, his voice raspy. "How can it be worth it if we can't even know this is going to work? Do we really know each other? Surely the road trip showed you that we haven't known each other for a long time."

The hurt was clear on Thor's face. "You think I don't know you?"

"No, I don't," Loki said sharply. "Sif knows me. My friends know me. But you say that you know me? Where have you been all this time?"

Thor gritted his teeth, rising to the bait immediately. "I've been where I've always been, Loki! Waiting for you!"

"If you knew anything about me, you'd know that would never lead to anything!"

"I was waiting because I was afraid!" Thor was breathing heavily, his hands clenched in fists. "I was waiting for you, Loki, because I knew you wouldn't come to me. I knew I had to go to you first, and that nothing would happen between us until I did. But I finally did." There were creases at the corners of his mouth. "Don't punish me for taking so long."

Tears prickled at the corners of Loki' eyes. His voice came out in a whisper. "How can you think that I really know you? What if the Thor I knew is gone?"

"You do know me," Thor said quietly. "If you feel like you don't, then I will tell you anything you want to know." When Loki didn't say anything, Thor took a deep breath. "If there's anything you want to ask me . . ."

Loki breathed out shakily. He looked at the floor. "What are you majoring in?"

"Physics."

Loki made a strangled, furious noise, and made for Thor as though he were going to hit him. Thor caught Loki by the elbows, and suddenly Loki's hands were gripping his shirt so hard his nails scratched Thor's skin, and Loki was shaking like he was crying.

Thor wrapped his arms around Loki. He breathed in deeply. "Is that how distant we have become?" he murmured into Loki's hair. "You didn't know even that?"

The collar of his shirt was quickly becoming damp, but Thor simply stroked Loki's hair. Eventually, Loki's breathing evened out and his shoulders stilled. They simply stood there for a moment, breathing.

"I thought you were majoring in business," Loki said, his voice muffled against Thor's shirt. "For Jane."

"Nah," said Thor. His arms tightened around Loki's shoulders. "She encouraged me to stay with physics, actually. I also went through a period where I was really interested in bio. Over the summer—"

"Your internship. I remember."

"Yeah. I got in contact with them sophomore year when I was getting ready to declare, but too late to intern with them. I changed my mind around that time, but when they contacted me junior year, I felt like it was too good an opportunity to pass up."

Loki turned his head so he could breathe easier. "It's not like you to change your mind so much. You've always known what you wanted."

Thor was quiet for a moment. "Not about some things."

Loki discretely wiped his eyes then pulled back. He glanced at Thor. "I'm supposed to be the changeable one."

Thor laughed. "You've always known exactly what you wanted, Loki."

Loki frowned. He sat on the bed and pulled his knees up to his chest. "No, I haven't. If you thought that, you were lying to yourself."

Thor looked deep into his eyes. "Maybe I was," he said. "It seems like I've been lying to myself about a lot of things." His eye caught on the photo of the little green snake on Loki's wall. Loki knew what he was thinking about: a stack of National Geographic magazines. "Do you like traveling, or was that me misleading myself, too?"

Loki looked out the window. "It's not the traveling I like," he said finally. "It's the being somewhere else. I don't need to go far to get that."

Thor watched him quietly for a moment. "You're never going to travel the world, are you?"

"Probably not." Loki licked his lips. He hesitated. "This might be the last Christmas we spend together."

Thor's stomach plummeted. "Why?"

"At home, I mean," Loki said, giving him a look. "All of us. Ma and pa. I don't know about you, but I'm not planning on coming home every year."

"What else are you going to do for the holidays?"

Loki shrugged. "Spend them with Sif, maybe. I'd like to come up with my own traditions for a change." Thor's thoughts must have shown too clearly on his face, because Loki sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I'm tired of traveling back and forth. This isn't my home anymore."

Thor opened his mouth to ask, What about when you move back to Alabama after you graduate, but the words died on his lips. He already knew Loki was never moving back. He tried again. "But you'll come back to visit? With me?"

Loki smiled sadly. "I would never see ma and pa, otherwise."

Thor chuckled softly. "I guess they're not very good at traveling, are they?"

The ghost of a smile crossed Loki's lips. "No, they're not."

"At least they'll come out when we graduate." Loki was silent. "You'll be at my graduation," Thor said, and he wished he didn't feel like it was a question.

"Of course."

"Tell me I'll see you before then."

Loki looked back at him. His green eyes were shadowed. There were small creases at the corners of his eyes that looked like doubt. "Spring break is in a couple months. Do you have plans?"

"No," Thor said, though he thought he might. The seniors had wanted to do something to celebrate their last year. Him, Steve, Tony, the rest. But he could cancel, for Loki.

"Come visit me."

"And after?" Thor almost couldn't make himself say the words. He sat down on the bed next to Loki. "After I graduate?"

They both knew very well that this space they had carved out for themselves was temporary. It was so new, it should have been too soon to talk about so far in the future. But Thor knew what he wanted. He wanted to never leave Loki again. And now Loki was talking like he had plans, like he had already dreamed of a life without Thor.

"After you graduate, will you visit me, Loki?" Thor's voice came out quiet.

"Of course," Loki said, and knocked his knee against Thor's chest again before he looked away. Both of them pretended they hadn't seen the wetness in Loki's eyes.

"So we'll try it?" Thor whispered.

Loki hesitated, then nodded. "We'll try it. Just…let's wait to tell them. Until we both graduate."

"Alright." Thor kissed him tenderly, and Loki tilted his head up like he was the sun.

…

It was the night before Loki's flight back to school after winter vacation. It was late, and Thor and Loki had agreed to do the dishes while their parents went up to bed. Loki was washing the dishes this time, his fingers elegant as he scrubbed away at a stubborn spot on a plate, and Thor was drying them.

Loki's face in profile in the kitchen light was like a dream. Thor traced the sharp line of his nose with his eyes. Loki's eyes were distant, lost in thought. He put the last plate in the drying rack and absently dried his hands on a towel.

Thor left the plate where it was and set his hands on Loki's hips. Loki looked at him, his eyes still distant. His eyes gradually focused on Thor's. He set his hands on Thor's shoulders. It felt like a moment free of time, like it could have happened years ago, or years in the future.

Thor lifted Loki up and put him on the counter. He smoothed Loki's hair away from his face and ran his fingers through it, the way he liked to. It was longer than the length of his hand. "You're beautiful," he murmured.

"Don't be silly," Loki said, but he leaned into Thor's touch. Thor held his eyes for a moment. Loki didn't blink. Thor leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss. Loki wrapped his arms around Thor's neck and returned the kiss just as passionately as it was given. When Thor pulled Loki closer by his hips, Loki wrapped his legs around Thor's waist, and when Thor lifted him up, Loki smiled slowly against his mouth.

"You're heavy," Thor murmured.

"Mmm," said Loki, and he traced the line of Thor's stubbled jaw distractedly with his lips. He tried to roll his hips into Thor's, though they couldn't be pressed much closer than they already were. Thor made a little noise and heaved him up higher. The muscles of his arms and shoulders strained to hold him up, and Loki kissed Thor appreciatively.

There was a slight noise, perhaps a footstep made by a slippered foot, and then a floorboard creaked. "Boys?"

Thor felt as though he had been struck by lightening. He immediately dropped Loki to the counter and they both looked at the open doorway. Frigga stood there, frozen in shock. Thor tried to step back from Loki, but Loki wouldn't let him. His fingernails dug deep into Thor's arms, and when Thor spared a glance at him, he saw that his gaze aimed at Frigga was like ice. This was Loki's worst fear, Thor knew; this was why he had avoided all those conversations about when to tell their parents in his roundabout way.

"What is going on?" Frigga nearly whispered.

"Ma—" Thor began, but he had nothing to say.

Frigga's face went hard and still in a way they had only seen a few times before. "Odin!" she called without turning her head. "Both of you," she snapped at her sons, "in the living room. Now." She turned and stalked from the doorway. Thor looked at Loki, trying to catch his eye so he could mouth something, anything at him, but Loki did not look at him. After a moment, he released Thor's arm, slipped down from the counter, and followed Frigga into the living room.

Loki and Thor took the couch. They left nearly a foot of space between them, and Loki folded his hands in his lap. Odin and Frigga each sat in armchairs across from them. Odin's hands were braced on the armrests like it was a throne.

"Loki Laufey Borrsson," Odin said. His face was like thunder. "Is this some kind of trick?"

"Thor is your brother," Frigga said quietly. "Why have the two of you done this? You cannot be with your brother."

"My name isn't Borrsson," Loki said calmly. There were two bright spots of color high on his cheeks and his eyes glittered, but he held his head high. "I am not his brother."

Odin slammed his fist into the table beside him. Thor and Loki jumped. "You are brothers!" he roared. "We adopted you! You can't decide we aren't your family just because it doesn't suit you."

"Pa—" Thor began.

"I want to see my birth certificate."

Everyone looked at Loki. He stared straight ahead, his expression rigid. "If you want to talk about family," he said, "I want to see my birth certificate. I should have asked for it years ago."

Odin stared at him like he was speaking nonsense. Frigga's face was pale. Without a word, she got up and went to her study. They heard the sound of her unlocking the metal filing cabinets and flipping through the files where she kept tax returns and receipts. There was silence for a moment, as though she were looking at something. She returned holding a single sheet of paper in both hands.

"Loki," she said, "you need to understand that your mother died in childbirth, and the man who was likely your father died in the same car accident that nearly killed her. That is all I know about them. This is all I have." She handed it over.

Loki took it. His date of birth, he recognized. The weight he had been when he was born. The other details were sparse. Mother: Laufey. Last name unknown. Father: Fárbauti. Last name unknown.

They were dead; he had known that already. He had always wondered where his middle name came from. Laufey was not a common name. Laufey's son and Fárbauti's son. Fárbautison. Laufeyson. He closed his eyes.

Laufeyson.

"Loki," said Odin. Loki opened his eyes. He looked into a face that was so different than his own. "You are our son. You cannot do this."

"I am not your son," he said, "and I will."

Beside him, Thor went tense. "Loki—"

"We adopted you. In the eyes of the law—"

"Then annul the adoption." Still holding the birth certificate, he stood, turned, and walked up the stairs.

Thor took in the horrified expressions of his parents and their drained faces. "Loki," he said hoarsely, and followed him up the stairs.

Loki was already in his bedroom, packing. Always prepared, he had everything lined up: his toothpaste and toothbrush on the dresser, the suitcase already mostly packed. He placed each remaining item of clothing in his suitcase with jerky, controlled movements that Thor recognized as suppressed rage.

"Loki," he said again. "You can't do this."

Loki closed his laptop and shoved it in his shoulder bag. He straightened, brushing the hair out of his eyes. His eyes glinted. "I always knew I would have to choose between them and you. I have made my choice."

"But—" Thor's heart was in his throat, drowning out his thoughts. "If you think I want this—you don't have to do this for me. I don't care what they think." How could he explain the fear that gripped him, that if Loki was not his brother, then there was nothing keeping him from leaving forever?

"Fine. Then I am doing this for myself." He zipped up the suitcase and put it on the floor. "I don't want to talk to them again."

Thor numbly followed him back down the stairs and out the door. His parents were yelling at Loki, telling him not to leave, to talk it over, to leave and never come back, but Thor heard them as if they were very far away. He stood on the front porch, the wood rough under his bare feet. He watched Loki put his suitcase in the car, the same car that Thor had taught him to drive in. His parents were still yelling when he drove away.

The car was gone. There was silence. Thor's parents went back to living room, both stiff and silent. It was late. Thor did not know what to do, so he went upstairs. He stopped on the landing. There was a faint glow from downstairs. He could hear his parents still talking quietly in the living room.

He went to Loki's room and sat on the bed. He looked at the window, at the posters on the walls. He pulled out his phone and texted him, though he didn't expect to get a response. If I have to choose between them and you, I choose you. Then he put his phone down and sat in silence in the dark.

Loki was safe, he knew. And this time, Loki would come back to him.

…

The next morning, Loki was woken by someone calling his name. When he opened his eyes, he saw an unfamiliar window letting in early morning light. He squinted at it. His back ached and his knees were curled up to his chest in an uncomfortable position. It took him a moment to remember that he had driven to the Foster's last night. A half-asleep Mr. Foster had opened the door, Jane and Darcy close behind him, and Loki had asked if he could sleep on the couch. Just for one night.

"You said your flight is at ten," Jane's voice said from behind him. "If you want to make it, you should get up."

He sat up and looked over the back of the couch. Jane had not changed at all. Her brown hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail. She was in the kitchen, wearing sweats, making herself a bowl of cereal. She raised an eyebrow at him. "I'll drive you to the airport, then return your car to your parents," she said. "I assume they want it back?"

He ran his tongue over his teeth. He hadn't brushed them last night. "I suppose you weren't expecting me to come to you when I needed somewhere to crash," he said, trying for superior and failing. He quirked an eyebrow.

She pointed her spoon at him. "I absolutely expect the whole story. Go get ready. It's not going to be my fault you're late."

Loki sighed and got up.

…

"So," Jane said when they had been in the car for approximately five seconds. "Who blew up first this time?"

"Well," Loki said, futilely trying to shade his eyes from the early morning sun, "I suppose I did."

She snorted. "If you're admitting it, it must be bad."

He shot her a glare. She couldn't see it because she was watching the road, so he gave up and squinted out the window instead. "I didn't say I started it."

"What was it about?" she asked.

"Thor," they said in unison.

"If you knew, why did you ask," he asked tiredly.

"Be more specific. What Thor-related thing?"

He examined the view out the window very closely. They were passing what he remembered as fields, but which were now a mess of empty dirt and stacks of lumber. A housing development. "Perhaps now would be a good time for me to tell you that I'm dating your ex."

"Which one? How would you—Oh. Oh."

To his surprise, she did not lose control of the vehicle and careen them into the nearest ditch. He glanced at her. She was squinting at the road. There was a strange expression on her face, like she really wanted to say something but was trying to not say it. He could not remember Jane ever not saying what was on her mind.

"I guess it's good you're adopted," she finally said in a strangled voice.

He rolled his eyes. "Out with it."

"Oh, Loki." She briefly closed her eyes like she very much wanted to bang her head against the steering wheel. Thankfully, she opened her eyes again and didn't. "I don't think Thor technically swore me to secrecy, but I like to think that everything from when we were dating is just locked in a vault somewhere so I try not to talk about anything he told me—but alright, fine, I'm telling you." She gripped the steering wheel tightly and keep her eyes ahead. "Do you know why Thor and I broke up?"

Loki slouched even farther in his seat. This topic was not on his list of things he wanted to talk about, probably ever. "He wanted a white picket fence, you wanted to chase cyclones, etcetera etcetera."

Jane laughed. She actually sounded amused. "No. Did he tell you that? Anyway," she said, shaking her head, "I guess those are some of the reasons. But I realized I needed to end things because of you."

Classic Thor; telling him it was mutual to avoid admitting he got dumped. Then the rest of what she was saying caught up with him. "Excuse me?" he demanded, sitting up straight. "You mean because I was so involved in your relationship? He and I were barely talking to each other at that point! How exactly was your breakup my fault?"

"Yes! Exactly!" she said, hitting the steering wheel with the palm of her hand. Loki jumped a little in his seat; he had forgotten how energetic she was. "But I don't meant that it was your fault—well, not in a bad way."

"Foster, what on earth are you talking about?"

"What I mean is that he—he really—" She seemed to decide she was too far down this path to stop now. "He really liked you."

"So I assume, based on the fact we're dating," he said, his tone dry.

"No, I mean—" she winced. "Really, really liked you, and had for freakin' forever. I sort of thought about hinting at it, before we left for college, but obviously that didn't make sense while we were dating. And I figured you wouldn't believe it coming from me, anyway—which is a little unfair, by the way, since I do think that I know him pretty well. I was hoping he'd figure things out earlier. It's just so difficult to get him to pull his head out of his butt. "

"Jane," he said, a strange feeling bubbling in his chest. He wasn't sure if he was about to start laughing or yelling. "Are you telling me that you broke up with Thor two years ago because he was already in love with me?"

"So you've told each other you love each other?" she yelped. "How long has this been going on? I didn't get that for years!"

Despite himself, his cheeks grew hot. "I didn't say that."

She smirked at him. "Anyway. I just thought you should know that this was not a recent thing."

"So, he told you this when?"

"He never talked to me about it. But—oh, Loki, that summer when you got hurt, he was so distracted. Whenever we went on a date, you were all he would talk about. He was so worried. He felt like it was his fault, and he wouldn't tell me the whole story, so I knew there was something else going on. And then we got to college, and he just—he didn't seem like himself without you. I didn't realize until then that you always made him laugh."

Loki blinked. "I did?"

"Of course. He was always talking about some sarcastic comment you had made—he always thought you were very clever, but honestly, I thought you were kind of a dick—"

"Thank you," he said dryly.

"—and he basically never thought anything I said was that funny, even though I have a much better sense of humor than you."

"Again, thank you," he said, his tone veering towards acerbic. This was possibly the weirdest conversation he had ever been involved in. He made a heroic effort to get the conversation back on safer ground. "Does this mean you two aren't in touch?"

She ignored him. "And, no offense, but the way you felt about him was obvious from the way you looked at him. If you hadn't introduced yourselves to the whole school as brothers, I think everyone would have figured it out."

"Brothers," he bit out. "A minor detail."

Jane was silent for a moment. Yes, Jane, he thought, examining his black painted fingernails. You may have noticed I'm running away from home when everything is supposedly perfect.

"You were always very clear that you weren't really brothers," she said quietly. "Thor never understood why you were always contradicting him. I do know that you make him happy, and I wanted you to know that."

Loki didn't have anything to say to that. He looked out the window and watched the scenery pass by. "Why are you telling me this?" he finally asked, quietly.

"I know we haven't always been on the best of terms—not that I would have minded if we were, by the way—but I've always liked you."

He looked at her. This was news to him. She sighed. "And I did like Thor a lot at one point, you know. To answer your earlier question—we are in touch, but we don't talk much. More like old friends, you know?"

Loki looked at her. He didn't remember Jane being so warm in high school, but she also seemed like she hadn't changed at all.

"Foster," he said. He felt like he was saying the words from a great distance. "I think I owe you an apology."

She shot him a quick smile. "Yes, you do. And I accept it."

A sliver of glass that had buried itself in his heart years and years ago loosened, just a little.

"Is your number the same?" Jane asked some time later when she pulled up to the curb in front of departures. "We should keep in touch."

"Yes, it's the same," Loki said, getting out. "And no, I don't think we should."

Jane leaned across the passenger seat. "Call me if you need anything," she said. "I mean it.

Loki looked at her for a moment. She really did look sincere. "Thanks for the ride."

There was a text waiting for him when he got inside: Seriously. Anything. He smiled.

Thor texted Loki all day. Loki didn't have Read receipts on, so he had no idea if he was even reading them. He got a brief text from Jane mid-morning—He spent the night here, dropped him off at the airport—but nothing from Loki.

His parents didn't seem to know what to do with Thor. They couldn't ground him, which didn't seem harsh enough. Anyway, he suspected they wouldn't think it was fair to punish him when they couldn't do the same to Loki. So they treated him coolly, with a distant look in their eyes. It didn't seem like they had come to any conclusions even though he had seen their light still on very late last night.

Thor finally got a response from Loki late in the afternoon. I made it to campus, the text said. Call me later?

Sure, he texted back immediately.

Thor called him after dinner, while his parents were sitting in chilly silence in the living room and pretending to read. He took a walk along the road that led out past the empty fields behind their house. It was already dark, but he could see in the distance the dark outlines of the partially constructed housing development that said gone up at some point during the last semester.

The phone rang once. "Hey," said Loki's voice in his ear.

"Hey." He scuffed the dirt with his foot.

"Are you home?"

"I took a walk." He swallowed. "I can't stand being home right now. They're pretending nothing happened." His flight back to school was the next day. He had never wanted to leave home so badly before.

There was silence on the other end of the line. "I meant what I said," he said into the phone. He wished he could see Loki's face. "I want this."

Loki sighed, his breath making the phone buzz in his ear. "How can you be sure it will be worth it? We might not last."

"I want to find out." He thought about Loki at seventeen, in the backseat of the car, the glow of a cigarette lighting his face momentarily. "I need to find out."

"Our parents might never talk to us again." Loki's voice was distant.

"I think they'll come around."

"Thor."

He thought about his parents lit by the light of a single lamp, each staring at books in silence without turning the pages. "Even if they don't, I want this. They know now, Loki. We can't take it back. So we might as well try."

Loki laughed a little. "You haven't changed. If you even think about doing something, you're all in. But that isn't the only way to do things. They'll forgive you if you give up on me now."

Give up? On this, the best thing he'd ever known? "Loki," he said, then tried again. "Loki. I meant what I said when I told you—told you how I feel." When I told you that I love you, he thought, but it felt too fragile to say aloud in the night air.

"I believe you," Loki said quietly. "Text me. I'm done with sending letters. That was a ridiculous idea."

Thor snorted. "Pick up the phone and call me," he countered.

"You are so old-fashioned."

"Fine. I'll call you. Every night."

"Is that a threat?"

"Me?" he asked in mock outrage. "Have I ever broken a promise?"

There was silence. It suddenly felt heavy. "No," Loki said finally. "I don't think you have."

Thor felt it in his chest: The warmth of a broken promise being repaired. I'll always be here, he had told Loki so, so long ago. And he would be.

Loki yawned. "Good night, Thor."

"Good night." The call ended. Thor stood on the edge of the road, looked up at the stars, and smiled.

Author's note

(This author's note discusses depression and therapy. Feel free to skip it.)

It was definitely interesting reading old chapters in preparation for this update and seeing all the author's notes: one year delay, two year delay… Only a year and a half since my last update this time!

I now know that the main reason (though not the only reason) for all those delays, even when I was just about to start on an arc I was excited about, was because I have been struggling off and on with depression for a long time. I suspect part of the reason I was surprised when reviewers told me that this fic was "so sad" was because I had lost some perspective on what "sad" means.

Whether I wanted it to or not, this experience has affected how I write Loki. This is Loki's story, and he makes messy mistakes, and he is depressed. Rather than ignoring that, I'd like to use this as an opportunity to de-stigmatize it. I know I romanticize a lot of problematic things in this fic, but I don't want depression to be one of them.

I made the decision to have Loki go to therapy because it was the first step for me (the second being medication, which I also want to de-stigmatize, but that definitely isn't in the realm of this fic). Everyone finds help in different places. If any of you are feeling similarly, I want you to know that there is help out there for you and that you are deserving of it.

Thanks for reading. :)