Chapter 16 / The Law of Entropy

About 20 minutes after their argument, Kristoff returned with two paper bags filled with burgers and fries in one hand while the other held a tray with three sodas. He joined Anna in her motel room after fetching her a bag of ice for her bruised abdomen and then together they sat down at the table. After Anna relayed the news of the tablet to him, he shook his head.

"So that's it huh? No more clues to follow up on?" Kristoff sighed heavily.

Anna shook her head glumly. "That was our only lead. The trail ends here it looks like."

"Well. Talk about some bad fuckin' luck," Kristoff said in a defeated tone.

Elsa walked in then, looking noticeably more worn out than before. Kristoff nodded at her and pointed to the food he set out on the nearby table. "Hey, was wondering where you ran off to. I got us some food," he mumbled through a mouthful of fries.

"I just… needed some air," Elsa said softly, more to herself than anyone in the room.

"I take it you found out about the tablet too then?" Kristoff asked.

Elsa sighed, she had known what had come of the tablet as soon as she removed the satchel from Anna's unconscious body to tend to her wounds.

"Yeah… yeah. I know," she sighed as she sat down across from the other two.

"Well... at least we still have each other," Kristoff joked lightly, trying to offer some levity to break up the tension in the room.

Anna coughed and reached for her coke. Elsa flinched and stared off into the distance.

... ... ...

After they finished their meal, Kristoff retired to his own room, bidding Elsa and Anna goodnight for the evening. Elsa lay curled up on one bed with her back towards Anna, wide awake and staring at her pillowcase as she fiddled with it absentmindedly. Anna lay upright with her back propped against several pillows, one hand over the ice pack on her abdomen. She glanced over to where Elsa was lying, forcing down the small pang of guilt she felt. Anna was still angry over the silence and the lack of answers. Frustrated as she was, Anna held her tongue as she was now far too tired to argue. Not long after, she fell into a restless sleep.

Meanwhile, Elsa replayed the events of the night over and over in her mind. Each time, she considered it from a different angle, she came away with the same conclusion. It was her fault. She had rushed Anna, triggering the alarm. She had frozen on the tree, forcing Anna to stall and leading to her getting shot.

I should have been more careful. I should have acted sooner.

On and on these "should haves" bounced around and lingered in the echo chamber of Elsa's mind, plaguing her thoughts as she lay painfully awake. Not even the merciful release of sleep overtook her as she continued to flagellate herself.

Shame, anger, and regret were old friends who visited upon Elsa that night. They stayed with her until she decided to do the one thing she knew she was good at.

... ... ...

The next morning, Anna rose to the sound of Elsa packing her bags. Elsa said nothing and didn't even spare her sister a glance as she prepared for her imminent departure.

You're leaving?" Anna said, shocked. She rose out of bed and padded over to where Elsa was packing her things. "Wait, just wait a second. Where are you going?" she continued. Hurt was seeping into her voice.

Elsa didn't answer her question, instead she spoke aloud more likely to herself to organize her thoughts then to actually address Anna.

"I'll find a ride to the next town. From there I'll make my way to the nearest airport," She finally looked up at Anna. "I'm going home, Anna. I can't do this anymore."

"You're going to leave? Just like that? You can't even say goodbye, no see ya later?" Anna pleaded. She was fighting to hold back the dam of tears that threatened to burst any second. For the second time in her life, Elsa was shutting her out. "Elsa… look, if this is about last night, I'm sorry I yelled at you! Just, please, can we just talk about this?"

Elsa steeled her gaze and turned away. In her eyes, Anna saw a tremendous amount of pain, and also resolve. Elsa had made up her mind, as much as it hurt her so.

"This isn't fair, goddamn it! How can you just… leave me! I need you, Elsa!"

"I'm sorry Anna, but this… I can't keep doing this." Elsa said then paused. "WE can't keep doing this Anna. How long have we been searching? Three years? What have we got to show for it?"

Anna said nothing, stunned and speechless as she was.

Elsa pressed on. "Last night you nearly died, and it was my fault! And for what? A useless rock?!" she threw up her hands in exasperation.

"YOU. Didn't. SHOOT. Me!" Anna replied as she pointed to the wound on her head. "This wasn't your fault! It was just… bad luck!"

"I may as well have," Elsa muttered. "Anna, please. This obsession… it killed mom and dad, I can't watch the same thing happen to you."

"This?! This is what they died searching for Elsa! Their whole lives! I can't let it be for nothing." Anna exclaimed.

"So you're going to continue?" Elsa said, her tone dropping low with realization.

"You're goddamn right. So what if we hit a snag? We've hit snags before, that doesn't mean we throw in the towel. That doesn't mean we give up!" Anna shot back. She was angry again, furious even. "Don't you get it! I can't let it go. I can't give up on mom and dad!"

"I can't watch you die. I won't be a part of it," Elsa said, nearly choking on the words as she spoke them.

"After EVERYTHING we've been through? After how far we've come? How can you FUCKING DO THIS TO ME?!" Anna yelled, tasting the salt on her words from the tears that were streaming down her face.

Elsa said nothing, but turned her glistening eyes towards the door. Next, she picked up her bag, opened the door and stepped out into the cool morning air.

"Fine, FUCK you Elsa. Run away from your fucking problems like you always do. RUN AWAY FROM ME. IT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING DO BEST!" Anna called after Elsa.

Elsa turned and for a small moment they locked eyes. She was also crying. Pain and grief etched clearly into her face but she said nothing, then spun around and continued on her way. Anna fell against the wall and sank to her knees, crying for the sister she lost for a second time.

That was the last time Elsa and Anna saw each other for the next three years.