Severus had always loathed Christmas time. Not having loving parents and tons of gifts waiting for him at home was probably the reason behind that. Anyway, that year, he had felt excited at the prospect of holidays.
When he had arrived home, after leaving Hogwarts, he had been greeted with the usual coldness. His parents had barely acknowledged his presence. Tobias had only told her mother loudly enough for him to hear: "Our prodigal son is back! Look, Eileen! Look at that scum!" with a sarcastic, vile tone of voice.
Severus was used to that. As a kid, he'd grow angry anytime his father insulted him. Time had changed that; time had made anger his prominent emotion. He felt like that house was sucking the life out of him.
He spent his little time in oppressive Spinner's End preparing for what he was about to do. For what Lord Voldemort was about to give him.
On December 25th, he got up early, having slept very little, and got dressed in his usual black trousers and jumper. He glanced distractedly at his Slytherin ties, as he roamed through his trunk looking for his clothes, and he briefly thought of Madeline Green. He took one tie in his hands, feeling the soft fabric under his fingers. Then, he put it away and shook his head slightly. He didn't have time to think about the Gryffindor girl.
He descended the stairs of his parents' miserable house, and glanced disgusted at Tobias Snape, who was sneezing on an armchair right in front of the tv. The man had drank a lot the night before, and was now paying for his actions.
Severus thought of how easy it would have been to kill him then; a flick of his wand, and he'd be gone forever, without even the possibility of defending himself from his own son's wrath.
"Severus…" a weak voice called for him from the kitchen. His mother, Eileen, sat at the wooden table, sipping on some tea. She looked like a ghost. She was too thin, his skin pale and yellowish; her face, once severe, had lost of all her expression. Dark circles under dark eyes told him she still suffered from insomnia. She had blue bruises on her exposed neck and arms.
"Mother" he said, nodding at her in acknowledgement.
"Come here" she told him, and gestured to the chair next to her.
The boy knitted his brows, surprised that she was giving him attention. She had been avoiding him for years…
He listened to her, and obeyed immediately. He didn't expect his mother to take his hand into hers and give him a gentle smile.
"Happy Christmas, Severus" she said, her voice rough and low.
"What's the matter?" he replied, diffidently.
She roamed his face with her eyes, and her smile became somewhat disturbing.
"I know… I've been a terrible mother lately…" she whispered.
Severus snorted at that, and he could swear some sadness crossed her eyes, who were so similar to his own.
"I know… Severus, I know… Love blinds you, you know… You don't see things…"
He tore his hand away from her grip at that. "What? Love? For whom?"
Eileen gaped at him, as if his words had offended her. "For your father, obviously."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying?" he swallowed, and briefly closed his eyes only to open them again a moment later. "You love him?" he snarled.
"I do…"
He clenched his jaw, trying not to lose control. "How can you? He hates you, mother. He hates the both of us."
"No… No he doesn't, Severus… It's only very hard for him to accept magic… If you could only be more…"
"Be more… what?" he laughed without joy, "Submissive?" he shook his head, "Should I let him take away from me the only thing I have that's worth living for?" he spat out. "Magic is everything to me!"
"It's only an illusion, my son… But we're not… You have us."
"Do I?" he asked with sarcasm dripping from his words, "I have no one, mother."
Her empty stare remained on him as he quickly stood up and took a step back.
"I've been a terrible mother, Severus… But you have done no better. You constantly make him angry… Strutting in front of his face… You know he doesn't like that."
He knew it, then. She had reached her breaking point. She had completely lost her mind.
He sighed deeply, as desperation overtook him. "Love, you say…" he felt a shock of pain through his heart. Love had ruined his life. Her mother's love for his father. His own love for Lily. His infinite love for the Dark Arts, too. "If this is love, then love is misery." He stated.
"Severus…"
"Don't say my name." he growled at her, and she looked frightened for a moment. She looked at him as if she had never seen him before. "You love a monster who ruined your life more than your own son, mother."
"You don't understand…"
He gave out another laugh, yet he wasn't amused in the slightest. "You better thank Merlin I'm not of age. Once I can practice magic outside school…" he said, with a threatening tone.
His mother's facial traits hardened at that, and she said with a hissing voice. "Severus. I may choose not to use magic, but I still own a wand, and I will protect your father if you…"
"Protect him?!" he shouted, knowing that nothing could wake Tobias from his state of drunkenness "Where were you when I needed to be protected?!" nothing could hold him back then.
"You're not a muggle… You don't need protection… Magic's evil… And it won't hurt Tobias. I won't allow it!"
"I AM YOUR SON!" he yelled at her. He didn't even know he had it in himself to confront her. In his mind, his mother was a victim, just like himself. A poor woman too weak to save him, and herself, from Tobias.
Realizing she was so insane she still… Loved that monster… After everything he had done… Brought tears to his eyes. Tears that wouldn't fall. He probably didn't know how to cry anymore.
He took a deep breath and used Occlumency to shield his emotions.
That was the last proof he needed. He knew then he had chosen the right path.
He left the kitchen without adding anything. He walked towards his bedroom, gathered his things into his trunk, and descended the stairs. He turned his head to look at his mother, who was still sitting at the kitchen table. She had not moved.
He hated her… and yet, he didn't. He pitied her.
"Where are you going?" she asked with little voice, eyeing his trunk.
Severus held her gaze for some time.
His mother's eyes would always hunt him. They were his own, after all. Eileen was a part of him. The weakest, most foolish part of him.
He sighed.
"Goodbye mother" he only said, and he could feel her running after him and calling for his name.
"What are you doing, Severus? Where are you going?" she was saying. "Come back!"
He exited his parents' house and took the portkey Mulciber had given him before the holidays in his hands.
She was still calling his name when he disappeared.

He reached Mulciber's House with the conviction he'd eventually go back home. Just for him. Just for Tobias. He would never forget, nor forgive. He shook the thought away as his school mate opened the door and asked him about his trunk.
"I need a place to stay until the end of the holidays." He told him.
Mulciber knitted his brows at that, not looking convinced.
"Well, my parents won't like that. But after all… You'll take the mark, so they'll just accept it." He shrugged and let him in. The House was cold, and elegant. Severus had never been into a Pureblood family's Manor.
He knew Death Eaters held their meetings in their beautiful houses, so he tried not to look too impressed in front of Mulciber. He'd have to get used to that.
"The ceremony will take place in Malfoy Manor. The Dark Lord loves that house."
Severus nodded at the information. Information were everything.
"We need to be there at five o'clock, so I suggest you to clean yourself and get ready. I'll have some House Elf bring you a nice suit. Merlin knows you need one. And you can keep it." Mulciber said, eyeing him with distaste. "We'll be in the presence of the Lord himself. We need to be up to the situation."
Severus' eyes widened a bit, but he said nothing, and nodded again.
"My parents usually host a big Christmas lunch, but this year's different" explained Mulciber, leading him into one of the many guest rooms. "This year we're all looking forward to the ceremony. It will be amazing."
Alexander didn't appear scared, or anxious, at all, and that calmed Snape.
"So… I'll come by later, understood?"
"Yes. Thanks, Mulciber."
"No worries, Snape. We serve the same Lord." He grinned. "And now you owe me a favour."
Severus didn't like that in the slightest, but tightened his hold on his trunk and gave him a final nod.
"We do. I do."
The boy gave him a contorted smile, and walked away.

He felt him before he saw him. His magical core was pulsing with energy. Severus had never seen the Dark Lord before, and the sight of him took his breath away.
There was little humanity in the pale face of the wizard who was talking to his followers. Lord Voldemort looked like a snake, his eyes red and piercing. His voice acute and wheezing. His dark robes circled his slender figure, making him look tall and imposing. His long, bony finger were holding his wand. He was terrifying. And he was powerful.
"My dear friends…" he said, and let his eyes wander on each of their faces. "Today, we welcome some young wizards between us." He announced, and everybody cheered at that. "Some of them are your sons, but there are also some ambitious young men here today… I promise you" said the Dark Lord, looking towards the boys. "We won't let you down."
Severus had his head slightly bent, but he could feel Voldemort staring at him. Mulciber and Avery had told him he was very interested in his skills of Potion making and Legilimency. He had not been surprised at that. Of course, the Dark Lord would investigate on his soon-to-be disciples.
"But now… No need to hesitate anymore…" he hissed. "Nagini" he called in a strange language, which Severus assumed was Parseltongue. An awfully big snake crawled towards its master.
The four boys in front of Lord Voldemort widened their eyes in fear and disgust.
"Does my faithful companion scares you, young men?" asked the Dark Lord with a mocking tone.
Some of the older Death Eaters giggled; a woman, in particular, with a crazy, high-pitched tone of voice, let out a crazy laugh.
"It won't hurt you." Assured Voldemort, amused by their reaction. "Unless I order it to." He added, and laughed briefly.
Some chills shot up Severus' spine.
"Of course it won't be the case. After all, we're here to have a nice celebration…" Voldemort caressed Nagini's head, before straightening up and moving towards the boys. "So, with whom should I begin?"
"My Lord," a tall, good-looking man with long, black hair and piercing grey eyes took a step forward from the group of Death Eaters who were attending the ceremony. He had a noble way of standing, and his clothes were rich and elegant. "If you chose my son as first to receive the mark, House Black would be immensely grateful and honoured." He said, and then slightly bent his head in sign of respect.
Severus looked at Sirius Black's father, and thought of how sometimes fathers and sons really had nothing to do with one another.
He saw in his peripheral that Regulus Black was trembling slightly.
"Very well, Orion." Said the Dark Lord then, looking straight at the young boy. "Your son shall be the first."
Regulus went to stand right in front of him just as he, as well as the others, had been instructed to do.
Lord Voldemort smiled at him, but there was nothing warm or soothing in his gesture.
"Roll up your sleeve, boy."
Regulus obeyed him, and offered him his left arm, where the skin was pale, frail and tender.
The Dark Lord pointed his wand to him. "Look me in the eye."
The boy did so, even if it took him some effort and courage.
Severus knew what Voldemort was about to do.
"Legilimens"
The Dark Lord roamed into the boy's mind for some time before breaking the spell.
"Good, very good…" he said, "A pity that fool of your brother didn't listen to you. He'd make a brilliant Death Eater."
Severus could see the anger on Regulus' face when Voldemort mentioned Sirius to him.
"He's not my brother," he spat out. "He's nothing but a blood traitor, and he deserves to pay for his actions."
His answer seemed to please Voldemort, for he rested the tip of his wand on Regulus' arm flesh and whispered: "Morsmordre"
The boy squirmed with pain, but didn't flinch. It lasted only for some minutes, but Severus could see blood dripping from Black's arm. Where once there was pale, untouched skin, now stood, carved on Regulus' flesh forever, the image of a big, black skull, with a snake crawling out of its mouth.
Severus couldn't tear his eyes away from the Dark Mark. His arm started to tickle.
Mulciber and Avery were next. They submitted to the same treatment the Dark Lord had reserved for Black.
And then it was his turn.
"Come." Voldemort said.
The boy listened to his order and went to face him.
"Tell me your name."
"Severus Snape, my Lord."
He smiled cruelly. "Snape? What's your blood status?"
"Half-blood, my Lord."
Voldemort raised a non-existent eyebrow. "Who was the magical parent?"
"My mother, my Lord. Eileen Prince."
"Prince, you say? A very important family, that one."
"Yes, my Lord."
Voldemort nodded. "I've heard about your skills, young man. Impressive, really. Maybe Dumbledore's also doing good things with Hogwarts, then."
Severus knew this was a test. He shook his head at the Dark Lord's words.
"Hardly, my Lord. Dumbledore is nothing but a fool. All I know, I know because of the Dark Arts."
Lord Voldemort giggled, pleased at his answer. "Dumbledore's indeed a fool. Well said, Snape."
He raised his wand towards him, "Now, I know you're a good Occlumens."
"You flatter me, my Lord. I'm just decent. I aspire to reach your level, some day."
Voldemort laughed "I don't think that's possible, boy. But ambition's everything." He said. Then, his face turned serious. "Anyway, Death Eaters can't hide anything from me. Is it clear?"
"Yes, my Lord." Severus replied. He knew, deep inside of him, that he was more than a good Occlumens. He was an excellent one; he had never confronted with the Dark Lord. But he had confronted with Dumbledore.
And Dumbledore hadn't managed to break his protective shields. He hadn't even notice he had them.
Severus always shielded the things he didn't want to expose. And he intended to try to do so with Lord Voldemort, too… He had to. He didn't want him to know of his growing affection for the Gryffindor girl. He didn't want show him the beautiful Pureblood he constantly thought about. He only hoped that would work.
He glanced at Nagini, and then back at Voldemort.
"Very well… Legilimens" he hissed.
The Dark Lord saw his miserable childhood, his father beating him, his mother closing in herself; he saw the years at school, Potter's pranks, his relationship with Lily; he saw him reading about Legilimency, chatting with Mulciber and Avery about becoming Death Eaters. But what he wanted to see most were his moments alone, after being humiliated. Voldemort wanted to feel what he felt; he wanted to see how far his commitment to his cause went. Severus could show him exactly that, and so he did.
When the Dark Lord retreated from his mind, there was a satisfied smile plastered on his dreadful face.
"Excellent." He said, "You have a promising future with us, boy."
"Thank you, my Lord. I'm looking forward to serve you." Severus replied with his low, smooth voice, while rolling his sleeve up.
"Then you deserve to be my loyal servant." Voldemort stated, and rested the tip of his wand on Severus' arm. "Morsmordre"
The pain was indescribable. He felt as if Voldemort was cutting his skin deep down, using a hot iron. His arm burned to his veins. Fresh blood started dripping from the image of the skull, and then the Dark Lord smiled.
Severus went back to stand with the other boys, waiting for Voldemort to end the ceremony.
"Now you are Death Eaters. Now you are mine." He said, smiling. "Let's cheer for our young boys, my old friends" he shouted to the crowd surrounding them. "They will help us in winning this war."
The adult wizards and witches started cheering at the Dark Lord's words, but Severus didn't feel like celebrate.

Mulciber and Snape didn't exchange words as they flooed back to the Pureblood's Manor.
A sense of loss, and desperation, and fear gripped Severus' heart.
He was happy, in a way. He felt like he belonged.
But he just couldn't shake away the feelings of those red, cruel eyes on him… The presence of Voldemort in his mind… The power of the energy surrounding him…
He retreated to his room without even greeting Mulciber, who seemed lost in his thoughts too. In a good way, though. He looked extremely proud.
Severus laid on his four poster bed, looking at the ceiling. He felt like his heart had started to rot.
Tears dwelled in his eyes, but again, they didn't fall.
Some day they wouldn't even create, he thought.
He glanced at his trunk, and stood to open it. The first thing he saw was a Slytherin tie, which was laying right next to the portkey Mulciber had given him.
Severus looked up at the clock on the wall. It was a bit after Midnight.
An idea crossed his mind. He roamed into his trunk looking for a particular piece of paper.
When he found it, he sighed.
He had sworn to himself he wouldn't accept her invitation. She didn't deserve to face him and his miserable life. She was better than him.
He went back to lay on his bed, but the desire to see Madeline's face didn't fade away. It became almost unbearable. He stood up again, and walked to the trunk.
He pocketed one of his Slytherin ties, he charmed the portkey to bring him to the address written on the tiny piece of paper, and without thinking about it twice, he disappeared.
Seconds later, he was standing in a green field that faced a big, rich house.
It was night. He heard someone gasping, and raised his face to look into the beautiful eyes of Madeline Green.
He hadn't expected her to be outside at that hour of the day; he just assumed he'd go there, stare at the house for some time, and then, cowardly, go back to Mulciber's Manor.
But seeing her now, standing in front of him, he felt glad he'd decided to go there. Madeline was wearing a silk pajama, and had her long hair down. A soft breeze was gently moving them in the chilly air. She looked breath-taking. She looked like an angel.
Severus felt like crying again, but when Madeline moved to reach him and took him into her loving arms, he rested his face on her shoulder, and for the first time in so long, he actually let the tears fall from his eyes.

Sooo... opinions? Next chapter is my favourite so far so be ready to get emotional! Anyway, I was wondering... In which House do you belong? I've always been a Slytherin, tho I love all four of them! Leave me your answers in the reviews if you like. All my love. X