WARNING: slight triggers ahead and graphic scenes. also, jurishi is the kappa king's name... we just haven't used it yet cuz like i haven't written on the fic in forever (￣▽￣*)ゞ

"Lord Sesshomaru!"

Sesshomaru stopped as the young girl ran to him from the village. She was a little older now, not the little girl he had practically raised anymore. She was growing up and was becoming so beautiful. Of course, no man was good enough for her and Sesshomaru liked to keep it that way. Human lives were so fleeting… Rin stopped in front of him and smiled that wonderful smile that could make him do anything for her.

"Lord Sesshomaru, you've returned!"

"Rin." He said, his usual aloof self. "You are well?"

"Of course I am! Now that you're back, I'm feeling so much better!"

"I do not believe my return is cause for feeling well."

Rin laughed. "You're always so funny, Lord Sesshomaru."

"You still haven't learned to watch your tongue!" someone yelled obnoxiously behind Sesshomaru.

Rin bent down and saw Jaken behind her lord and gave him a smile.

"Hello, Master Jaken, I didn't see you there."

"How could you not see me?! Have you gone blind?"

"Jaken." Sesshomaru said and the imp shut up. He turned back to Rin. "This Sesshomaru won't stand here forever."

"Of course! Come on, there's so many things I need to tell you!"

She grabbed her lord's hand unabashedly, not caring that she was dragging around a daiyokai that was feared all over the Western Lands, and admittedly, he had no problems with it.

Sesshomaru floated in and out of the clouds, hearing muffled voices and his name. He also heard her name. He tried to get back to this reality, but the pain and the headache and the fever was holding him down, making him relive the memory he didn't want to and remember the little girl he was trying to forget.

Sesshomaru woke up in a cell, finding InuYasha laying on the other side of it. He knew that ugly red outfit anywhere… Sesshomaru went to move but found he was bound by his wrists to the wall. He growled angrily, pulling on the chains. How dare anyone tie him up! How was he even subdued anyway? He was a daiyokai; one of the most powerful. It's not like he was easily defeated… something was wrong.

"Don't bother with the chains." InuYasha said. "You won't be able to escape them."

"I do not want to hear your trivialities."

"I'm not trying to sound whiny, I'm telling you the truth. We're not yokai anymore."

"You never were."

"Quit the badgering and look at yourself, you pompous dick."

Sesshomaru made a face but looked over at his brother fully, realizing his hair was black like when he was human. This made Sesshomaru look at his own hair and found black tendrils twisting on his shoulders instead of his usual white. He frowned, grabbing a hold of it and tugging. It was attached alright… He looked at his hands and found normal human looking hands, no claws and none of this markings as a yokai.

"What is this mockery? What's going on?"

"It's obvious that we got turned human somehow and now we're stuck in these binds."

"Where is everyone else?"

"I don't know. They separated us."

"I do not remember anything."

"A kappa got a hold of a Shikon Jewel shard and was able to overtake the village. We were fighting and then he suddenly held out this weird medallion and we seemed to just… lose our yokai ability."

"I could not be lumped up in the same issue with you of all people."

"Stop being a putz and look at yourself. You're human, just like me. You, the great Sesshomaru, got your ass handed to you just like me when that kappa came and took our village."

Sesshomaru stared at the wall for a moment and then blinked, realizing that it was just him and InuYasha.

"Where is everyone else?"

InuYasha looked away. "I don't know… I… I wish I knew…"

"Where is Rin? Jaken? Those humans who were taking care of Rin?" he asked, his unusual feeling of emotions starting to come over him. "InuYasha!"

"I don't know! I woke up here just like you and with us both being so weak, these shackles are almost impossible to get out of!"

The sound of a door opening stopped InuYasha's rant.

"Hold him down!"

"Sesshomaru, you need to stop!"

The pain was completely unbearable, the pain seeping not his hips and making him feel things he didn't want to feel. Being human sucked! He felt something sink into his skin and wrenched his hand away, his hand making contact with something. He didn't have claws but his nails were enough and he clawed his fingers to use them. He heard someone curse as his body seemed to relax against his will. He didn't want this… He hated this… He just wanted to go back to the ways things were and he wanted to end that kappa… that thing that had ruined his life…

Sesshomaru screamed in anger as the shackles held him against the wall. He couldn't do anything… he was useless. Jurishi smiled as he stood over to the side, watching the struggling former daiyokai try to get out but proving futile.

"Come now, Lord Sesshomaru. Shouldn't a yokai of your caliber be able to get out of those chains? I don't think you're trying hard enough."

Sesshomaru screamed in anger, his shoulders practically coming out of their sockets as he pulled on the chains. Jurishi grinned and walked over to the other kappas and the young girl they were messing with. He lifted her face, Rin glaring at him with defiant brown eyes.

"Such a vulgar girl. Do you teach all your pets to act like this?" Sesshomaru gave the best growl he could. "Oh, I forgot, you are the pet."

"Let her go!" he screamed.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Did you say to beat her more?"

Rin looked over at Sesshomaru and pulled her face from Jirushi.

"Don't worry, Lord Sesshomaru, I'm fine. This is nothing."

"She's got such a spark! I can see why you were saving her for later. Let me guess, the longer you had her the more tastier she would be?"

"Lord Sesshomaru doesn't eat humans, unlike you." Rin spat.

"Rin." Sesshomaru said, trying to get her to shut up.

When he escaped he was going to kill InuYasha for teaching her to be belligerent like him. The Kappa King lifted an eyebrow and stood up, walking away.

"Mezu, come with me for a moment. I have a very important task that I would like for you to follow through with."

A kappa followed the king out of the holding cell and Sesshomaru stopped fighting with his binds. Rin has been beaten up harshly and could hardly move, but she sat up and looked up at him.

"Are you alright, Lord Sesshomaru?"

"This Sesshomaru had taken more from stronger opponents. Humans cannot take pain like yokai can…"

She smiled. "I see…"

"You must escape from here."

"And leave you here? I could never do that."

"It is increasingly difficult to protect you. You would do well to get out of here and not worry about me."

Rin smiled at her lord. "But I'm protecting you, Lord Sesshomaru."

"What is this meaning?" he asked, his eyes furrowing.

Rin looked away, ashamed. "I couldn't protect Master Jaken from them but I can protect you… Master Jaken is dead because I wouldn't do what they asked of me! I'm sorry!"

"He was a nuisance anyway."

"No, he wasn't. He was your friend. I know you acted like he wasn't, but you valued him."

"As I have told you many times before, child, you do not know me like you believe you do. Jaken was useful, and that is all."

"As I am?"

Sesshomaru stared at her as she stared at him.

"You are more than that… I do not know what you are to me…"

Rin sat up a little more as the pain eased up and finally stood up, wobbly on her beaten legs. She walked over to Sesshomaru as he hung on the wall with his arms in the shackles. Due to the pain and wobbly walking, Rin tripped on her own feet and ended up hanging on his body for a second. It hurt, but he didn't complain as she righted herself and then hugged him, taking in his warmth.

"I know it's very hard for you to say what you mean, my lord, but just know that Rin loves you. You have taught me how to be brave and strong and I owe you my life. What the Kappa King has done to you -what he's made you become- it hurts me to see you this way. You're not who you once were."

"I will regain my yokai blood soon."

She looked up at him. "No… no you can't. He's too powerful now and I'm afraid that he's figured you out, my lord."

"This Sesshomaru has no weaknesses."

"I might be too bold to say this, but he is using me to get to you. You must-"

"You are not a weakness, girl. Do not think so highly of yourself. I am merely angry that he believes this is so and is hurting you for no apparent reason."

It hurt. It hurt to tell such a lie. He knew it from the moment she smiled that awfully delighted smile way back when they first met… when he 'randomly' decided to use Tensaiga on her… when he went to Hell for her… No, he knew right then and there that she was his weakness, that's why he never wanted her around when there was a fight. That's why he tried to keep her away from him… she was the chink in his armor and he couldn't patch it up to save his life.

She was his everything.

Seeing her eyes full of pain from his words made the pain he was going through look like a smack on the hand. He had hurt her deeply, but he would rather make her understand and save herself than to let on that the kappas were right and have her endure anymore pain. The door opened back up and the Kappa King walked in with two other kappas, one holding a whip and the other holding two chains with circular things at the end.

"Let's try something new…"

InuYasha sat at the table as he held a rag over his face where Sesshomaru had scratched him. Dr. Ko walked back with a mortar and pestle and looked at InuYasha.

"There is deep trauma in your brother, things that I can't help with."

"Yeah, I know…"

"Let me see…"

InuYasha moved the rag from his face and Dr. Ko assessed it for a second.

"Luckily, they are not too deep, but they might leave a scar. Let me put this salve on it."

InuYasha nodded and let the doctor put the salve on him.

"So, the kappas used this young girl, Rin, against your brother. Did the same thing happen to him that happened to you?"

"I think he would have rather had that happen than to endure what he did. Sesshomaru isn't cut out for that type of emotional destruction… he never had to deal with that. Even when my father was killed, Sesshomaru wasn't very emotional about it. Having his yokai powers stripped from him and all the emotions he thought he would never feel coming at him all at once, the anger and guilt and pain… He just can't handle it all…"

Dr. Ko nodded and started applying the salve he had made to his face.

"I wish that I was the type of doctor that listened to problems and could help the patient resolve them, but I'm not; but your brother needs to tell someone about everything that happened to him."

"He would never reveal that. It makes him angry knowing that I was there to witness his complete breakdown after everything was said and done."

"Doesn't matter. Once you confessed the secret you had, do you feel better about it?" InuYasha didn't say anything. "I know the guilt will never go away, but at least it's not a deep dark secret anymore. You're not bearing it by yourself. Other than you, I think Sesshomaru needs to tell someone what exactly happened."

"He will take that secret to the grave and so will I." InuYasha spat. "Unless Sesshomaru volunteers to tell someone on his own terms, no one will ever hear about the atrocities done to that girl."

Dr. Ko nodded. "Alright then…"

Sesshomaru leaned forward, his breathing labored as he stayed on his knees, letting the choking shackle press into his windpipe while he pulled against it gently enough to stop at it's length. It was the least he could do to punish himself for what he had said, what he had let happen… what he couldn't do… If he slowly choked himself to death would they meet in the afterlife? Was there an afterlife for her? Was there an afterlife for him? Did it matter?

The Kappa King had done something that Sesshomaru never thought could happen to him: he broke him. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. He wasn't used to all that raw emotion… The pain in his hip where one of the kappas had hit him with an iron rod was excruciating but not as excruciating as what was left of his mind, his self. The last thing she had told him was not to be brave. He had endured enough physical torture to torture her and then, when he was incapacitated, they started on her.

They whipped her, but she didn't scream, so they whipped her until she did. Her skin was sliced open again and again, but Sesshomaru was so weak, he couldn't even try, her blood permeating his scent. Then, they strung her up like she was a slab of meat and started slicing her skin off of her arms, slowly peeling her flesh back in strips and eating it. That's when he went on the rampage again, but he couldn't reach her. Finally, they threw off her kimono, exposing her to him like she was some common whore, and sliced open her stomach. It was deep enough to cause severe damage, but not deep enough to kill her instantly. She was going to suffer and Sesshomaru was going to watch.

"I hope you enjoy the presentation, Lord Sesshomaru. I wasn't sure how I was going to get to you, but taking out that nuisance yokai blood of yours really made things much easier. Now when I eat you, you won't be so tough. Take a last look at your ward; she won't live for long."

The kappas left and Sesshomaru was where he was when they had left him.

It had been at least ten minutes and neither of them had said anything. It wasn't until Sesshomaru heard a plop that he looked up, finding something on the ground under Rin's feet.

"I…" Sesshomaru looked up at Rin as she sniffled. "I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru leaned back, taking the pressure off of his throat.

"You have no need to be sorry. This Sesshomaru has failed you."

"Don't say that."

"Rin-"

"My lord, please listen to me… I don't have much time… Being with you has been the happiest that I've ever been. Even though I could no longer travel with you, I never stopped thinking about you every day. Master Jaken, A-Un… everyone was so dear to me." Rin coughed, blood coming out of her mouth and blood gushing from her stomach. "I love you, Lord Sesshomaru."

"Love is a weak emotion."

Rin smiled. "Of course it is, my lord… Please don't be angry with yourself. You don't have to be brave anymore. There's nothing left for them to… to hurt you… now…"

"This will not break me." He lied, unexpected tears trailing his face. "You are not… you…"

"I know. It's hard. But I love you anyway, even if you don't love me. Because of you, I got to be with Lord Sesshomaru… I'm… I'm…"

Sesshomaru began to shake, watching her intestines drop from the cut in her belly, dangling in front of her.

"This Sesshomaru has failed you… I… I can't…"

When he looked up though, she was no longer breathing. Her head was lolled forward and her body limp. Horror coursed through Sesshomaru, a feeling he had never known, and as if someone had flipped a switch, Sesshomaru's mind compartmentalized everything.

When the Kappa King came back, instead of finding an enraged former daiyokai, he found the shell of a broken man.

Jurishi smiled. "Good. I like my former yokais extra crispy."

aaaaand that's what happened to rin. i don't know if that's good enough for the wait or not but i didn't want to rush into her death and it be stupid. i mean, it might have been dumb but the time was right. either way, sesshomaru couldn't even tell her he loved her (father/lover - you decide) or even that he cared a little bit about her. his pride wouldn't let him say what he wanted to and physically he was helpless to her. i dunno if that's a good enough reason but it's hard to break someone like the sessh... anyhow, that's how that happened and onward we go!