Alice drives Akira and Ryo crazy during the Lunar Festival.

"Alice Nakiri, you are an absolute nutcase!" Akira Hayama yelled in frustration, groaning with his hand in his hair as if he was resisting the urge to pull all his hair out. "Stop changing the damn menu!"

It was the Lunar Festival, and the lab coat trio was regrouping at Shiomi Seminar to try and save themselves from being in the red and possibly expelled for poor performance. Alice wanted to change the menu for the nth time. A defeated looking Ryo and Akira were sitting on the couch listening to her drone on about changing it again, and Akira couldn't take anymore. Something had to be said.

"Absolute nutcase?? Mind your manners, Akira! Who says such a thing to a woman?!" Alice, as expected, did not take it well. She didn't take any of Akira's criticisms well, if at all, thus far. "I'm the one in charge here, so show some respect!"

"If you change this menu one more time, I swear!" Akira said, "I swear to God I--"

"Hayama, she doesn't respond well to threats," behind him, Ryo warned Akira gently. But Ryo himself looked about near passing out on the couch, being dragged about the entire day by Alice.

"Well, someone has to do it!" Akira said. "Clearly she's become this unreasonable because someone has been enabling this attitude for years."

True enough, Alice was now standing there with a hand on her hip, her face in a dangerous pout. Ryo knew that look.

"Well, whatever!" Alice said, throwing her hands up in resignation as she walked out the door. "I don't need your help! I'm going to go order the ingredients!"

She left, slamming the door behind her. As she did, Akira let out a long, defeated groan. "God, that woman!"

"...She's going to come back in ten minutes to ask for help," Ryo predicted. It had been a long day, and even Ryo, who was probably the most physically fit in their batch, was about near collapsing. "I don't know where she gets all this energy to keep changing her mind."

"You're an absolute nutcase yourself, Kurokiba," Akira said. "How the hell do you put up with that madness daily for what, ten years?!" Now the damn bandana was starting to make sense in Akira's mind. He too would develop some alter-ego with extreme anger issues if he had to tolerate Alice for that long. Hayama already noticed that Kurokiba could be snarky or even aggressive to him or anyone else even without the bandana. That docile persona was probably specifically for Alice.

"Beats me," Ryo said. "I didn't even want to be her damn aide at first. I threatened to quit about once a week. Somehow I'm still here."

"I don't know if you're a saint or an absolutely mental loverboy." Akira sank into the couch besides Ryo.

"Probably neither."

"Probably both!" Akira said. "Have you ever stood up to her once and tried to tell her off from whatever insane thing she intends to do?"

"...Sometimes," Ryo said. "But she insists on having her way anyway, so it's pointless." Alice was, after all, the type of girl who would show up in your pub daily for two years even if you repeatedly said no already. "And if things get particularly bad, she..."

"She what?"

"...She cries. I can't stand it," Ryo said, looking a cross between disturbed and annoyed. "I can't stand her wimpy crying."

"Damn it, man," Akira groaned, surprised that Ryo could be such a pushover about this. "Well, we're gonna have to do something about her or we're going to stay in the red!"

The door suddenly swung open again. Just as Ryo predicted, it was Alice. "Ryo! Could you be an absolute sweetheart and carry these boxes for me?"

"...No, miss." Ryo refused. Akira wondered if he said no just to prove a point to him.

"What do you mean, no?!" Alice pouted. She went on over to the room and dragged Ryo up to go along with her. "What good are those muscles for if you're not gonna help me haul stuff around?? C'mon, Ryo!"

Alice dragged him out the room, leaving Akira to groan by himself. The two were so damn dysfunctional in his opinion, and were hopeless. It was up to him to try to think up of something to get through to Alice.

The next day was still a terrible disaster. Akira wondered which god he'd offended to be cursed with such luck. Alice was as stubborn as a rock--he thought Kurokiba or Soma was stubborn and annoying, sure, but by and far, Alice Nakiri was leaps above them.

And Kurokiba, the guy was just as hopeless. He was fiery, straightforward and even rude when it came to cooking, or even talking to just about anyone else. But when it came to Alice, he could be as docile as a little sleepy puppy. Akira thought that he had the aura of a bullied husband of fifty years, just saying, "Yes, dear."

"What the hell is this?!" Akira was surprised, seeing about fifty boxes of what he could make out to be cayenne powder delivered in front of the Shiomi Seminar. He already had a fine guess of what happened, because it just happened the other day.

"...Huh, I was sure I only ordered five boxes. I have no idea why they sent fifty!" Alice said.

"...Miss. You wrote fifty on the order slip here." Ryo was holding the paperwork, and dared to point it out.

"Did I?! Oops." She just laughed it all off.

"We don't have room for all this stuff anymore!" Akira pointed out. The Shiomi Seminar was a small, run-down place to begin with, with no holding area or warehouse.

"Huh. Guess we'll just have to haul it all to the event area." Alice said.

Akira and Ryo groaned. They knew 'we' only meant the both of them.

"Don't you guys have Nakiri bodyguards and lackeys to call on to do this hard work for you?" Akira asked Ryo, as they were both lifting stacks of boxes.

"...Miss Alice dislikes having security around," Ryo said. "She likes doing as she wishes without anyone getting in the way."

"Besides, Ryo is enough for me!" Alice somehow overheard them. "He's qualified as an aide and bodyguard, you know. You're doing great, guys~!" She cheered them on, before running on ahead to the event area.

"I don't have the slightest idea if she's cheering on me, or mocking me," Akira said. "Psst. Kurokiba. Do something about her already."

"Do what?"

"Did you talk to her any when you guys went home last night? Tell her to stop this nonsense now or get her shit together!"

"Well..." Ryo recalled the evening prior. He had it in mind to try to talk to her, but she just looked so damn excited and giddy, staying up at her desk and trying to come up with a new game plan for this day. She even fell asleep on her table. "...She seemed so genuinely happy, so I couldn't do it. She's really excited about this whole thing."

She did look every bit excited, with a visible skip in her step. Akira understood it was tough to just go in and burst that bubble of hers. "Well, you two probably don't care to be expelled since you two have Nakiri International behind you," Akira said. "I even doubt they'd expel the director's granddaughter. But don't drag me down with both of you, alright?! What'd Jun do without me?! For God's sake, Kurokiba, just say something to her!"

Ryo sighed. He knew Akira was right, and he somehow pitied Akira for having to go through this experience firsthand. He was dragged into this whole shebang unknowingly, after all.

That, and when they finally arrived at the event area, Alice decided that she was going to change the menu. Again.

"Oh God... I can't. I can't anymore." Akira went to a corner of their booth tent, just slumping on the ground. He was thinking of choking Alice by now.

"...Miss. We need to talk," Ryo said, finally deciding to attempt to talk some sense into her. Akira heard it, and watched with interest. Maybe he was finally going to speak up to her.

"Hmm? What is it, Ryo?"

Ryo simply stared at her for what seemed like an eternity.

And then he turned his back on her and walked away, going towards Akira.

"...I can't do it."

"Goddamit, Kurokiba!" Akira groaned. They were doomed.

And then Ryo took a deep breath, and then untied the red bandana from his wrist. Desperate times called for desperate measures. He put the bandana on, and turned back to Alice--this time with an entirely different approach.

"MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND, YOU SILLY BITCH!" The scream shocked even Akira. "You've been dragging me all around the entire school for days now and I've just about HAD IT! If you can't make up yer damn mind, you might as well just sit back and leave it to me and Hayama!!"

Alice turned red in the face, clearly upset. "I don't believe this! How dare you, Ryo?! How DARE YOU?!"

Akira stood there, just blinking at them. He felt as if he was caught between a troubled married couple who were on the brink of throwing plates at each other. He was glad Alice somehow hasn't ordered plates yet.

"Yeah, I friggin' dare, missy!" Ryo went on. "You're the one who should shut your trap! If I recall, you didn't even make it to the semi-finals of the Selection!"

Alice was simply frozen in shock. And then Akira saw it--exactly what Ryo had warned her about before. She was pouting now, but her lips were quivering. Her eyes started glossing over.

"T-That is a LOW BLOW, RYO!" she shouted, as she started crying. "WE'RE THROUGH! WE ARE OVER! Do not talk to me unless you mean to beg for my forgiveness!"

She stomped out of the tent, running away. Ryo let out a guttural groan, so loud all the other booths looked their way.

"I told you!" he yelled, to Akira.

"...You... kinda went overboard." Akira said. He was still stunned himself, not sure what to make of what just happened, and to make things worse, there was now a crying Alice on the loose. "God, I have no idea how the two of you are still together this long!"

Ryo sighed, pulling put the bandana and tying it back on his wrist. "...No idea either." And then, he said, "Let's go."

"Huh? Where?"

"We can't leave her running off crying by herself. No idea what she'd do."

Akira sighed. "Now I know how you two are still together. You always run after her to apologize, don't you?"

"...If I'm particularly mad, I give it a few hours sometimes," Ryo said. "But otherwise I can't stand it when she cries."

Akira shook his head, thinking that Ryo was obviously helplessly, hopelessly in-love. "...Fine. Let's go find her, loverboy. And hope that you somewhat managed to knock some sense into her."

A/N: Reviews, follows, faves and requests always welcome!