I feel so guilty for updating this quite late because I HAVE written, in fact I started two other Dramione fics so I feel REALLY BAD.
Just know that I will not abandon this story and chapter 22 will be up this Thursday or Wednesday and it will be JUICY. Check out my other two Dramione fics if you'd like in the mean time.
Furthermore I would like to say that I genuinely, genuinely appreciate the comments of people stating they have liked this story. Thank you so much for that.
She hadn't seen him in two weeks.
Rey figured he had been called off back to the front now that Spring had finally come but she didn't know this for sure. These days she didn't know anything anyway.
After not seeing Kylo for a couple of days she had inquired about him but was given no answer for course they wouldn't share information with her, "the enemy" of all people. Then she had tried to inquire about what was meant to happen with her (was she able to leave or required to stay)but again no definitive answer was provided.
The only thing she was told that the status quo would remain like this till instruction were received from Kylo himself. Said person wasn't here at the moment and as much as she hated to admit it, his absence was a bit unsettling to her. It wasn't like she missed him or anything. She had just gotten used to him; that's was all. His welfare was of no importance to her really or so she told herself. Why should she care about the man that took her captive against her will and didn't tell her why till the very last moment?
Oh God.
She tried not to think about it but there she was recalling the events of that particular evening anyway. After his admission, Rey had run towards her room so fast the guards were thought she was making a break for it and apprehended her, escorting Rey back. Upon entering her room, she immediately fell to the floor, grasping her chest as if to still her rapidly beating heart as if that possible.
It was possible but it took her ages to calm herself enough so she could process what happened that evening. He had admitted something she had never thought he would, well she kind of suspected something but had shrugged it off because after all.
Who the hell was she compared to him?
She was… an unemployed barmaid annex scavenger in her free time and he was a prince for God's sake. This disparity between them was so large the obstacles could not be overcome even if a relationship between them would have occurred. And Rey didn't want him, she was sure of that or at least she convinced herself she didn't want him. How could she? He murdered his own father in front of his eyes, it meant that only a truly evil person would have been able to do such a horrid thing…
Yet as she had gotten to know him better the last couple of weeks she wondered if that was truly true because sometimes she thought of him to be rather misguided than evil. There were times where Rey could see the guilt reflected in his eyes, seeming to be deep in thoughts, appetite escaping him for he wouldn't touch the delicious meals served to them. He also always looked so immensely tired as if he had not gotten a good night's sleep in weeks, if not months. She hated herself for it but she had gained a weird sense of sympathy for him and sensed that he was feeling lost. A feeling she had encountered as well many a times in her life, at the present even more so.
All that being said, his confession had startled her to the core and she had no clue what to do with it.It wasn't that she was blind or something, Rey had seen him watching her intently a couple of times and when she caught him he had often looked away. His reaction whenever the slightest reference to Finn was made spoke volumes as well but she had tried her very best to ignore that.
She tried to ignore the other tell-tale signs as well, right to the very last second when he had blurted out the truth. And now she hadn't seen him in a while and for some stupid reason she was starting to get worried.
Maybe he was slain on the…
She didn't dare to finish her thought because it did two things to her, first it felt like her heart literally sank till the bottom of the ocean and secondly it would stir up feelings within her that she herself had buried on said bottom of the ocean.
She tried not to think about that possibility or him for that matter and occupied herself to reading books as much as she could. That only did the trick for a few hours but was not all day encompassing activity and eventually she got bored. Thankfully, for whichever reason, the guards would let her go outside to take a breath of fresh air but accompanied her of course.
This particular evening it was lovely to be outside, winter was on his way out and the promise of Spring was near. Rey, walked briefly through the forest nearby, up to the creek where she would drink some water or splash some water on her face, finding the cold water coming down her features refreshing.
As she walked back and neared the castle approaching fast on distance on a horse that would put fear into the heart of even the bravest of men. She didn't know which one was scarier to look at, the rider or the horse both of them radiating an ominous presence, clad in all black. He had told her about his horse, that he was positive he had the fastest stallion in all of the United Kingdom and the skin of Romulus was as black as could be. Romulus looked even more scary outfitted with the red blinker on its head and the accompanying caparison on the back in the same colour.
So she knew it was him.
A second later she feels relief.
Relieved that he is still alive and not somewhere lying dead as she had feared
But then she freezes as indecision about what to do next washes over her. She is trying to decide if she should walk away from him on or remain still until he was near enough. Just as she had made a decision to walk on he was already in her proximity and it was too late to run.
Neither of them spoke for a brief moment and just looked at each other, well Rey was at least. It was hard to tell what Kylo was doing for his helmet was still on.
A minute later he gets off the horse and gestures twice to the guards accompanying Rey, one time to take Romulus with him and the second time, a nod, to leave them alone. He walked over to Rey and stopped at considerable distance which annoyed Rey a little for some reason. Kylo then proceeds to take off his helmet and placing it at the ground.
When he resumed his earlier position of standing across of her, Rey gasped at the sight of his face and involuntarily took a step forward as if to inspect him.
There was a long, deep gash on the left side of his face starting from his cheek, travelling down to this neck. From what Rey could see she realised it had been a close call and that he had been really lucky. She wanted to ask what the hell had happened to him and also scold him for apparently fighting without his helmet but she refrained herself and said nothing.
Neither did he for the longest of time so it seemed and then he broke the silence.
"I... was called away", he had uttered a bit softly as if to apologize for leaving her alone for the last two weeks.
Rey said nothing but simply nodded. He sighed and looked uncomfortable; both of them did because they knew what was coming but it was a subject matter that should be discussed.
"About the other night-.", Kylo said.
"You, you don't have to explain anything", Rey quickly interjected, her gaze dropping downwards, still trying to delay the dreaded conversation. Kylo took one step forward towards her, closing the distance a bit more.
"Allow me, please. I need to explain myself", he pleaded with her and Rey looked up again to him, sighed briefly and nodded.
"I. I want to apologize for a couple of things. I realise, after doing some thinking, that I have acted like the total opposite of a gentleman towards you and whatever you may think of me, my recent deeds probably not helping said thoughts about me, I wasn't brought up to act like this like at all. In fact, I am fairly certain my mother would kill me if she..."
The memory of his mother and what she would do if she found out makes him stop talking for a minute.
"What I meant to say. I shouldn't have ordered to capture you; I shouldn't have kept you here against your will in the hopes of maybe you and I could. I. I shouldn't have told I am." but it is the second sentence he doesn't finish.
He clears his throat before continuing.
"Please accept my sincerest apology and believe I will do anything to rectify this situation", Kylo says solemnly. It is at point Rey looks at Kylo with confusion. What does he mean with that statement? What does it imply but fortunately or rather unfortunately she finds out soon enough.
"Tomorrow morning I will personally escort you to the base of my uncle, well I'll bring you considerably close and from that point you can walk back. I wanted to mention. I feel it is right that… I compensate you for and therefore, when I drop you off, will give you some money you can use, I don't know, rent a place somewhere, start anew somewhere".
What?
He is telling her she can leave AND he is personally taking her back. She should feel insulted that he is offering her funds to compensate her really, as if he is bribing her something but she doesn't care about money in the first place. She is not going to accept anything from him anyway.
No…A variety of other sentiments than feeling insulted suddenly twist and turn inside of Rey, from relief to the fear of the unknown for she was certain she couldn't stay with Lucas and his army much longer and then an overwhelming feeling of sadness.
She does her damn best not to show him any of it and is barely successful in not tearing up at the spot. He looks at her and he too has a sad expression on his face before he looks away in to the direction of the castle.
"Alright", is the only thing Rey can say because if she would say anything more he would certainly notice her voice would crack.
"Alright then…" Kylo says, doing his best to come across as determined.
"It is getting cold, we should probably go back", Kylo states and they walk back silently together. In the castle Rey opts to go directly to her own room and as she leaves Kylo stares after her.