My dear little broccolis💚💚💚,

💚 So, this is me doing a favour to the same someone who PMed me and asked to upload two of my stories with the FSOG names. I already did it for Forbidden Fruit, and now, here comes the second. The original fic is published under the Mortal Instruments franchise. If you're one of my old readers, well, you already know this story, so only read it if you want to read it with other characters in mind; if you're a new reader, well hang on and let's see how this Ana and Christian work in here.

💚 WOW! Guys! 125 Favourites, 225 Followers & 200 reviews. You guys rock! Thank you so much for all the love and for taking the time to go in my crazy mind. You have no idea how much those little numbers to you mean to me. SO FREAKING MUCH

💚 Enjoy this chapter, full of fluff and sweetness. Enjoy it well while it lasts because, in the end, we all know that I am evil 😈 (if this isn't a fair warning, I don't know what it is) Haha

Chapter 19 ~ Yes, It Is Love (4,7K)

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Christian's PoV.

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That's it. There is no more denying. I know it. I am in love with Ana Steele. I have known that I loved her for a while now, but right now, I just know that I am in love with her. I am in love with her smile, with the sparkle in her eyes when she looks at me, in love with her selflessness, with the way that she remains herself despite the horrible things that haunt her. I am plainly and simply in love with her.

As I said, I have known that I loved her for quite a while, but I have only been sure of it, a couple of days ago, during our last day in Disneyland. Well, it was during our last night. She had told me that she liked being in Orlando because she could see the stars better than she ever did anywhere else, and so I arranged a little picnic for us during our last night there. Something very simple, but she loved it.

And that's when I knew that I was completely under her spell. When she looked up to the sky full of stars, her face enlightened by the half-moon with a big smile of bliss spreading on her lips. That's when I knew that I was in love with Ana Steele. I should have known earlier, there were many things that changed about me for her; but that little moment, that little moment when my breath caught in my throat as my heart hammered like a drum in my chest, that moment was the trigger for me.

I still hadn't told Ana of the true extent of my feelings for her. I am keeping that moment for a very special time. I want this moment to stay imprinted in my heart forever. Because I know how she'll react, and I want to forever remember this moment. I already have it all planned in my head. I want to take her to the oak tree I used to stop by when I first started driving back and forth between my home and my parents'. I want to bring her at twilight so she can see the magic of the place, and then enjoy the stars rising in the night. I had actually wanted our first kiss to happen there, but things worked out differently. So, in compensation, I want to take her to the oak tree just to make this little romantic gesture for her.

Even though Ana isn't really straightforward in the matter of romance, I still know that she loves thoughtful gestures. I can tell by the way her beautiful blue eyes light up when we see a movie together, and she sees a guy woo the protagonist. I can tell by the way she always blushes with pleasure when I tell her something complimentary or romantic. I can even tell by the way she always has a little smile in the corner of her lips when I gently touch her in public by putting my hand on her smaller back.

Still, I will have to wait for a little while to declare my love to her in that romantic way that I planned. Not that I think that Ana will throw back my feelings at my face, I know that she is very fond of me, and even suspect (more like, hope) that she actually loves me as I love her. But, I am at my parents' place right now (with Ana, of course, she always came back with me ever since I first introduced her to my family); and Elliott is going to hitch a ride with us when we go back home.

After almost four months of lurking in our parental house, not sure of what to do with his life, Elliott decided that the journalist he is wouldn't find any work in the small town where my parents live; and so he asked if he could come crash at my place for the time to find a job. Of course, I agreed, because he is my brother, though I know it won't be easy for him. He will have to crash on the couch since I don't have a spare room and he will have to bear with my crazy work hours. But he definitely has more chances to find a job where I live than here.

Suddenly, I feel Ana's delicate hand pressing my thigh, making me snap my attention back to the reality of the present time; and with a small smile, she discreetly tilts her head to my mother who is expectantly looking at me. It takes me less than a fraction of a second to understand that Mom just asked me a question, probably about desert; and so I refuse with a shake of my head. Mom gives me a weird look, with that smile that mothers have when they have some dirt on you; and just by this smile, I know she is on to me. She knows exactly how head over the heels in love I am right now.

Mom and I actually talk quite a lot about Ana. After our first weekend here, Mom called me and asked a lot of questions about Ana and her past. Her main concerned being that she was convinced that Ana had been mistreated by her parents in her past and that her mother left a very sour memory to Ana. I never betrayed Ana's trust in me, and never said a word to my mother about what she told me, but Mom still has rather good instincts. Still... Ana actually never wants to talk about her mother. I don't know why, but I think she is having mixed feelings about her.

So anyway, Mom became actually quite curious about Ana, and our relationship. Especially since she mentioned several times, that I have never been so open about a girl I was interested in before. She had met a few of my girlfriends, but I've never acted with them the way I do with Ana. The simple fact that I brought Ana to the familial house when I never did that for any other girl rang the bell for Mom.

Mom actually loves Ana. And not just because Ana always made sure to make a Forêt Noire when she comes (I keep telling her that she doesn't have to). She just loves Ana because of her kind and sweet heart. And seriously, what is there not to love about Ana? Well, maybe I am a little biased, but still, the fact remains that Ana is the kindest soul I have ever met. Which is even more surprising when you know where she comes from.

Maybe this is why I love her so much. Because no matter what shitty things happened in her life, she still does her best to look forward and not let her past bring her down. Despite her frail and fragile appearance, she is brave and strong (even though I know she doesn't think so). Like I've always said, strength and independence have always been the things that made me look twice at a woman. And this did not waver when it came to Ana.

I remember when I picked her up on the side of the road, how she almost seemed disappointed when I pulled over, how her eyes suddenly narrowed at me as the realization that I might be up to no good came to her. But what caught me the most, was her attitude. She seemed beaten down, really beaten down; but still, she seemed that she could take all the shits that led her to that precise moment all over again and that it wouldn't make her change her decisions. She seemed … confident. In her future, of course, not in me.

To be honest, Ana is the first girl that I dated who is so much younger than me. Before her, I only had two years difference at most. And I know eight years are a lot, but when I am with Ana, I clearly do not think of her as Mia's age. Sometimes, she even seems older than me for what she says is so calm and reserved. Mia made fun of me when I started talking to her about Ana, because she said that Ana could actually be the serial killer, who just pretended to be a sweet and innocent girl before killing me in a dark alley.

Of course, her speech changed the minute she saw Ana. The very same day she saw Ana, she called bullshit on me about the fact that Ana and I were nothing more than friends. She said that any guy in their right mind wouldn't waste such a beauty to be stuck in the friend zone. And she was right. I was just waiting for Ana to make the first move so that I wouldn't be pushing her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Another first.

Ana is actually my many firsts. She is the first girl I've taken to my parents without them knowing her first. She's the first girl I've only slept with, in the biblical sense of the word. She's the first girl to whom I gave the keys to my apartment and granted free access. She's also the first girl who insists on me having bro nights with Jason when he comes to visit; and who doesn't whine about me working too much. And mostly, she's the first girl I've been in love with, without ever having had sex with her.

With a slight shake of my head, I come back to reality and dismiss my Mom at the same time, a small smile on my lips. And of course, Jose catches this small exchange between Mom and I. "Yeah, Mom. Christian has other plans for dessert, and it doesn't involve eating your ice-cream," He snickers under his breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear it.

"Exactly. It actually involves kicking your ass 'til you learn to behave in front of a lady," I growl back at him, shooting daggers at his stupid teenage face.

Jose always makes dirty jokes about Ana and I, mostly because he thinks that it bothers me. And he keeps on having this flirtation game about Ana, just to annoy me. The first time he outrageously flirted with Ana I was mixed between thinking it was a genuine crush, or thinking he was just annoying, but I quickly understood that he was doing this just to spite me. Because he just likes being annoying, and he thinks that it bothers me to the highest point. And he is right in some way. It actually bothers me because, no matter how much she denies me, I know that it bothers Ana. She keeps pretending otherwise, saying that it's okay with that sweet voice of hers; but I know that she is embarrassed by Jose's games.

I should probably tell him to simply stop in private. I know that if he learns that Ana is not enjoying his little tease, but is too polite to let him know, he will drop it. After all, Jose is not that bad, he's just … being an annoying teenager; but he is still a good kid.

When dinner is over, Jose leaves to go to whatever party he wants to go to, and I tell Ana to go straight to bed because I know that she is pretty tired from our trip to Disneyland. She gladly takes on the offer, and I stay a little bit longer in the kitchen to load the dishwasher. Mom and Dad are in the living room spending the rest of their evening together, while Elliott finishes packing up since we're leaving tomorrow just after lunch time.

I actually won't stay long since I am pretty dead myself, and I think my folks got that. Thank God Mia has already gone back to Uni, so she can't mock me about it. In the same way Jose is always teasing Ana to annoy me, Mia is always teasing me to annoy me. Like the way she wiggles her eyebrows every time, I would go to bed with Ana. Not that I care anyway. All I know is that every time we got back, Ana slept with me, and I certainly did not complain about this.

I actually love sleeping with her in my arms, and lately, I always do my best to end the night with her. Whether it's sleeping at her place or asking her to sleep at mine. I just love the sensation and warmth of her body in my arms. Though this might become complicated when Elliott is living with me. I know that my brother won't mind, but I also know that Ana might feel embarrassed by coming sleep at my place if Elliott is already there.

After quickly passing by the bathroom, and getting ready for the night, I go to my room; and there I see that I was right: Ana is already fast asleep, laying in the bed with her hair braided on the side and the cover tucked between her chest and her arm. I smile a little at this image I came to love so much, and noiselessly strip to my boxers and crawl into bed next to her, rejoiced to see that she is wearing one of my shirts as pyjamas. I should feel ridiculous to be so happy about something so simple, but I don't.

With a goofy smile, I take her in my arms, spooning with her as I already start to drift to sleep; when she shifts a little in her sleep and turns so she is facing me, her face buried in my chest. For a minute, she doesn't say anything, probably still deep into slumber; but then, I feel her long and dark lashes tickle my chest as she flutters her eyes open, and she looks up at me, smiling dazedly with sleep.

"And my goodnight kiss?" She demands in a mockingly outraged tone. It is true that every night that we spent together, I always made sure to kiss her goodnight. I chuckle a little, before happily complying and kissing her soft pink lips with tenderness as I hold her closer to me.

I can feel her smiling with satisfaction against my lips before going back to slumber, her head nestled against my chest; and I quickly follow her into Morpheus arms, simply content by the way we are right now.

But I am still woken up a few hours later, by Ana softly trashing beside me. Without even having to think of it, I sigh a little and sit up, switching on the light on my nightstand. This is not the first time that Ana has a nightmare, and I highly doubt that this one will be the last one. Somehow, I hope that in her nightmares, she will slip his name, but she never does. I know that I promised her not to force her to press charges, but that doesn't mean I can't do it. Because the Law is malleable like that.

This is something I am always conflicted about. Ana told me that she didn't want to go to court, that she didn't want to relive her nightmares more than necessary in front of strangers, that she only trusts me with this part of her life. and I understand and respect that deeply. I really do. But … I also know that putting that asshole who abused her in jail and force him to face his sins would help her. As she said, it won't make her nightmares go away, but it will make her stop jump when she has to face an unknown situation. It will make her stop fearing to see him appear by her sides out of nowhere.

But anyway, any of this is not even a plausible possibility as long as she keeps her walls so high up. Even though I am beyond glad that she trusts me enough to confide in me, it is still not something pleasant to hear about. And the helplessness that I feel each time that we broach that sensitive topic is something that hurts me somehow, even though I always try not to show it to her. And these nightmares that she has are just another way to show me that no matter what I do, I will never be able to fully help her. That's why I always try to push her into confiding with another girl.

The first time she had a nightmare while I was sleeping next to her, she woke me by crying in her sleep, begging the nameless bastard to stop whatever he was doing in her dreams. I remember how I shook her to wake her up. But what I remember most, is how she suddenly woke up with a start, pushing me away and crawling as far away as possible from me. I remember how her eyes were terrified as she brought her knees to her chest and her arms around her legs, rocking herself as she was trying to stop her tears. I remember how I tried to reach out to her to comfort her, and how she yelled with fear for me not to touch her. I remember how helpless I felt as she was hiding from the world and how it took me several minutes for her to let me take her back in my arms.

This happened on the third night we slept together, and ever since, I've always left her space when she was having a nightmare. I'd light up a light so she would see that it was me beside her and that I had no intention of hurting her, and I just helplessly wait for her to calm down on her own.

But tonight, her reaction is completely different. She still wakes up with a start, but instead of putting distance between us, she closes the small space that I've created as her teary blue eyes land on me; and she jumps in my arms, sobbing against my chest. I won't lie, no matter how awful and selfish it sounds, it makes me feel good. Because it means she trusts me enough now, even with her subconscious nightmares. It means that she relies on me to fight them off, in a shiny armour and rescue her.

Without a word, I envelop her in my arms, kissing her hair as I gently brush it off her face with my fingers while my heart is hammering in my rib-cage. Who would have thought that this little gesture of trust she had toward me could affect me this much? For five minutes, neither of us says a single word, Ana still gripping my back like a drowning man does to life while I gently wipe away the tears straining on her face.

Once I sense that she's finally calm again, I extend my arm to the light on my nightstand, and switch it off; before laying us both back in bed, Ana closely held against me. I hear her open her mouth, and so I cut her off before she can even utter a ridiculous word:

"What do I keep telling you, Ana?"

Ana has this nasty habit to keep apologizing for things that aren't her fault. I know that she feels guilty for waking me up, but … She shouldn't be apologizing for the scars she has to bear! She's not the one who should be apologizing. Her terrible family is!

"You're too sweet," She murmurs before slightly kissing my chest; and I hold her a little bit tighter against me as if I was scared to lose her, and I kiss her forehead as I explain to her:

"It's because I have a reason to be."

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When I wake up the next morning, Ana is oddly still sound asleep next to me. She is always up early because that's the way her internal clock works. After rubbing the sleep off my face, I consider staying in bed until she wakes up; but I quickly change my mind once I glance at her. I don't even know why I keep on thinking that I can actually not be affected by her presence, especially in the morning.

No matter how much I try to be a gentleman to Ana and keep our interactions pure, I can't control my mind from wandering. I won't lie, I want to go to the next step with her. I am a man after all, and Ana is very very attractive. I try not to think too much of that, because … well, as I said, I am a man.

It is true that over the past few weeks, our interactions became more and more heated, and that Ana is becoming less and less shy about us touching. But the fear playing in her eyes every time I lay her down is something very strong and powerful enough to make me lose any desire to make love to her. It doesn't mean I lose interest in Ana physically speaking (trust me, I am far from losing interest in her that way); it just means that I use my hand more often than I used to.

Of course, I didn't tell Ana any of that. Knowing her, she will find a way to blame herself and feel guilty about it for months. But I need to let go of the steam so I can be a gentleman when I'm around her. Which is also why I jog and go to the gym. To let go of the steam and just think of something else rather than what I want to do to her body.

Ana often teases me about my physique, saying that I am more muscular than the average lawyer. But what she doesn't know is that she's the reason I am like that at the moment. I used to have a rather healthy lifestyle, but sleep was something too precious to waste and exercise instead. Of course, when Ana came into the picture with her bruised past, I had to find a way to evacuate and hit the gym as soon as I knew that I was going to woo her. Which means it's been close to a year since I have had any sort of sexual activity with anyone else other than my hand.

And still, I feel like this is something that will soon change. Ana is being more and more demanding during our make-out sessions, and more endearing. Like the way, her hands would gently and timidly touch the skin of my chest underneath my shirt, or the way she would seem less guilty, and more disappointed whenever we stop. And now, the pressure is on my shoulders. How do you make a girl forget about her rape? How do you convince her body and mind that the pleasure isn't just yours, but also hers? How do you make sure that she enjoys herself and that she does not think of her rape? How do you make her forget about her pain and humiliation?

With a sigh, I get up and kiss her forehead before leaving to go jog and get rid of the pressure I'm feeling right now. I left a note so Ana wouldn't freak out by seeing the bed empty when she wakes up. Though she knows that I usually jog when we sleep together. I suspect that she knows why I systematically jog when I wake up by her side. After all, my brain is not the only thing waking up in the morning. But Ana never said anything about it.

I don't jog for long today, mostly because we all have a schedule and that I don't want to disturb it. And I want to be home early tonight because Ana is working tomorrow and I don't want her to sleep too little. So after half an hour of running, I head back home and jump under the shower as soon as I'm home. Then, I go back to my room, a towel around my waist and another in my hair that I am drying.

And as soon as I close the door, I see that all that running was done for nothing. Ana is standing by the bed, her hair loose and wild around her face and she is in nothing but her underwear. She turns to face me, a big smile on her face. That smile that I love so much and that I know to be the only one to have ever seen.

"I slept in," She says with a little innocent gleam on her face, and I chuckle. It's barely eight in the morning, and she thinks that she slept in.

"I saw that," I simply tell her as I walk to the bedside to get dressed as she slips in her clothes.

This is something that I appreciate a lot in the evolution of our relationship, how free she is next to me now. A few weeks ago, never Ana would have mindlessly dressed like that in front of me. I think that the fact that we sleep so often together and get ready together rather often finally allowed her to be less self-conscious around me. We're not to the point of her walking on me while I shower, but at least, she feels confident enough to dress next to me when she's already in her underwear.

I turn to put on my boxers and trousers, and turn back to hang the towels on the chair of the desk in my old room; when I see what Ana is wearing. "A dress?" I ask, my eyes mesmerised by her. Her dress is emerald green and stopping at her knees. It actually shows a little more cleavage and skin that she usually shows, but I am certainly not complaining.

"Do you like it?" She proudly asks, twirling on herself; and I make a mental note to thank my Mom later on. They went shopping yesterday afternoon, and I know that Ana did not go to Disneyland with this dress. Which means that Mom probably managed to persuade Ana into buying this dress.

The first time I've seen Ana in a dress was the first time she came here when Mia decided to play fashion designer on poor Ana. And I know that Ana did not feel comfortable wearing a dress at the time. But now, Ana is willingly wearing her dress, feeling completely free and sure of herself in it. And all I can think of is taking it off of her. Before I can reason myself, I close the distance between Ana and me, and I gently kiss the skin of her neck as I caress her waist through her dress.

"Very much," I respond before nibbling her ear as I press her back against my front, feeling a new strong desire for her rise in me. She doesn't say anything, craning her neck to see me as she leans against me. "Very very much," I continue, trailing my hands up to her breasts as her breath quickens; and when she moans, I snap out of it. I refuse to have our first time in my parents' house. Whether it's for her wellbeing or mine, it just seems wrong.

So I will myself to step away from her, and I reasonably say with a ragged whisper: "But for me to show you how much I like you being in that dress, you'll have to wear it at some other time."

I can see her swallow hard, the desire in her eyes slowly fading to bring her back to reality; and then she fondly smiles to me and peck my lips, telling me with a mix of innocence and tease: "We'll see."

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💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚

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💚So, what I wanted to tell you about Christian. I noticed that throughout the updates of chapters, many of you kept on saying how perfect and amazing Christian is. And yes, Christian is nice and all, but he's just a guy. Don't forget that he is 28 and that he knows where Ana comes from. Guys aren't all jerks, and when they have to deal with a girl like Ana, 85% of them will have the same reaction as Christian. Mostly, they don't really know what to do, and just want to be there for the girl, even if they know that they will never be able to fully help her. Which is why Christian insists on Ana talking to Kate because he knows that he won't be able to fully understand her and that they are things that he won't be able to fully emphasise on. Plus, Christian is a grown man, not a teenager, so he is more in control of his feelings (him being a lawyer also adds to that).

I know that we all like to joke about men being all jerks and all, but for some cases, men actually show themselves to be sweethearts. Though many guys will be jerks about many things, rape is something that makes most of them uncomfortable. Not because of what you could think, but because they are not sure how to deal with it in a helpful way.

So yeah, Christian is nice, but he is not perfect. He is just being human toward Ana. And to actually tell you how human he is, that little thing I hinted you about all throughout the story is something about Christian and his character. It has nothing to do with Franklin. (wink wink)

💚Now about Ana's birthday, remember that she admitted herself that she was avoiding on purpose topics that could lead to her birthday or age. But the charade will be up in the next chapter ... Just the same as Franklin, and someone as mentioned how dangerous Ana's age could be for Christian, you shall soon understand how right you were 😉

~ Anyway, question times:

1. Christian thinks that he and Ana will soon get down on it... Did you notice how he wants to make love to her and not just have sex with her? And do not forget that Ana is 20 to Christian.
2. Elliott is going in the same town where Magnus lives ...
3. What do you think of Christian's long period of abstinence?
4. What was your favourite part?

Anyway, E.L James owns the names of the characters from the Fifty Shades franchise, everything else is mine.

Love, Mina 💚💚💚