Chapter 20
Alastor looked up from the bag he was putting handfuls of hay in to glance at his companions, both on opposites ends of the stable. Ymir had finished cleaning her zone, shoveling the horse droppings into a few buckets for disposal while Krista worked slower, taking her time to pet and speak tenderly to the animals. He saw the taller one narrow her eyes at her when she wasn't looking, clearly impatient but saying nothing as the blonde stopped to gently pat the last stallion's neck, who in turn gave the diminute blonde a soft touch on her chest with its nose.
The male finished preparing the bags for the horses to eat and walked up to Lenz, the girl giving him her trademark anxious look waiting to be told what to do next; Bane looked around briefly and nodded.
_Their food is ready. -he said pointing at the sacks- You can start feeding them while Ymir and i take the crap out and bring water.
_Aw come on, can't you do the water on your own? -the freckled asked crossing her arms- I'll help her with the bags, otherwise she'll chat with the horses all day.
_No, i want her to do it. -at the blonde's surprised face, he gave her a quick look and shrugged- I know you like feeding them the most, guess i can let you enjoy it while we take care of the rest.
_Oh! Th-thank you Alastor! -the blonde said with genuine joy and bolted to get a few sacks for the animals. The young man showed the smallest of smiles then took a couple buckets full of horse excrement and left to get rid of it, followed by a slightly grumbling Ymir carrying another and some clean ones for the water.
They didn't say a word on the way, nor as they walked towards the nearby well; only when the arrived she spoke, a kind of gruff tone mixed with tiredness.
_Thanks for that i guess. -she said as he worked the lever to pull the bucket up- She loves those things.
_She once mumbled they were nicer than people. -he replied- Not something you hear every day, so i remember it everytime i see a horse. Or Jean.
Ymir chuckled evily and relaxed a bit, sitting on the well's border with her arms crossed.
_Well look at that, you have a sense of humour. But yeah, she said so a couple of times. Not that she's very wrong though.
He grunted his agreement and finished pulling the bucket, pointing at the next one to fill; however when she handed it to him, he instead looked at her with keen interest.
_I think can see why you two are together. -he commented and tied the wooden bucket; on her side, Ymir just stared at him eyes going a bit wider at his words.
_Really? -she asked genuinely curious and he nodded- That's a first. Most people say they can't guess how we stand each other... i mean, they joke of course. Kinda.
_It's just a matter of knowing where to look, and what you're looking at.
Ymir narrowed her eyes at him, mouth moving to a side in a distrustful gesture; he on the other hand cocked an eyebrow in question.
_Whenever someone talks about you, they almost always mention you say interesting stuff. -tilting her head, she looked at him unimpressed- Although maybe it's just you throwing some convoluted bullshit to make them feel confused. Care to explain that phrase of yours?
Alastor held her gaze for a few moments before nodding and putting the bucket back on the floor, resting his weight on the well's stone.
_People find you a strange couple because of your almost mirrored characters: Krista is hard working and you lazy, she is cheerful and polite while you're quite gloomy and coarse. Most importantly, she's unnaturally generous and you are selfish... within reason. That's true.
_And what, you say opposites attract? -she replied with a huff- That's not the first time i hear it.
_That's a misconception. -he answered shaking his head- Opposition in behaviour is present in couples, but only because they learned to adapt to and embrace each other's differences, or at least to bear with them. Sometimes i see people show attraction towards those whose traits differ frown their own, mainly due to the "unknown" factor of said qualities being absent in their lives. But a more serious relationship comes from deeper bonds, the kind you can only achieve through mutual feelings, opinions or experiences. That is where you don't collide but agree.
_I... i'm not sure i follow you. -she said slowly- What mutual... whatever?
Bane eyes went to the stable, where he could see Krista's blonde mane barely reach past a steed's chest as she pet the animal, then moved on the freckled girl.
_Loneliness. -he pointed, and Ymir's jaw tensed- Hopelesness. You two met after enduring lives of solitude, even if in different ways. You two understand what is like to be abandoned, without anyone to look for help; and even if you cope with it through your own methods, even if your behaviour is shaped differently by your experiences... in essence the source is the same.
The brunette stared at him wordlessly, pondering if speaking or not until she decided to go on: she'd asked for it, out of boredom and curiosity, and she was going to go through with it.
_Whay do you mean... -she licked her lips before continuing- We lived different ways of solitude?
_It's hinted by how you deal with it most of the time. Krista yearns for approval and praise, to be part of a group as much as you loathe to depend on others, to be put into a team or trust people with your secrets or your past; she latches to any authority figure, desperate for guidance while you defy them, always seeking some form of confrontation not so big to avoid getting kicked out but strong enough to mark your displeasure with them. -he crossed his arms looking Ymir in the eye- That tells me that while Lenz was isolated, growing apart from others while also mostly safe you were ostracized. Cast away, running and hiding from a society that didn't want you, poor and hungry. Am i wrong?
Ymir inhaled deeply a couple times, as if trying to calm herself down; while she didn't show any other signs of tension, her eyes were full of mixed feelings. He didn't say anything, patiently waiting for her to act.
_You're a sharp motherfucker, you know that? -she finally said, crossing her arms- How the hell did you guess that?
_Your coping methods... her martyr complex and your displays of smugness and superiority. Both speak of being alone, of not belonging anywhere or having anyone to help you bear your load. She looked so fragile the first time you saw her, didn't she? I still remember how lost she seemed the first day.
The other looked down and let the air out through her teeth, resting against the well like him with an unusually sad expression.
_She's... i don't know what to think at times. Is it that obvious?
_No. -he replied, and Ymir relaxed a bit- I always try to see beyond what people show, regardless of the situation. After all, the gold is below the surface, isn't it?
_Damn right. Are you gonna... you know, write this down in your journal? -Bane's eyes narrowed slightly, and Ymir shrugged avoiding his gaze- Mina talked about it, alright? Said you write about your experiences with people. Come on, you knew she would.
Bane rolled his eyes and scratched his head as if embarrassed but internally satisfied at the news spreading; that meant it would be common knowledge and that way less suspicious to be suddenly interacting more with fellow legionnaires.
_I... supposed she would, yes. Although i don't have my thoughts about you there since i wasn't completely sure about it until now. Of course, if you don't want me to i won't mention it; after all, it's a delicate matter concerning your privacy.
_Oh. -she looked away, considering it a short while and then nodded- Thanks for your concern, but you already know so might as well record it... besides, it's not like you're gonna show it everywhere, right?
_No, i won't. And i appreciate it. I hope Krista will give me her consent.
_Don't worry about that, i'll tell her about it later. You scribble without worries.
The freckled scout relaxed against the well, her attention going over her girlfriend still working with the steeds until she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned a bit surprised to see Alastor looking at her with eyes strangely not fully devoid of emotion.
_You are a good woman Ymir. -he said- Your life may have hardened your character, but i know your heart has not. I'm glad you're at her side... i too care for her, on my own way.
The brunette stared at him, her mouth a bit agape as his words reached her; her eyes didn't move from his own as a slight blush covered her cheeks.
On his side, Bane began to feel how his words gave birth to a change in her disposition. It was as if an invisible shell cracked, and something else started to emerge; something without form or other physical features yet he instantly related to warmth. Warmth similar to the one Mina had sparked but different at the same time; yet it was enough for him to finally be able to summon it, a pleasant wave that flowed through him and into Ymir. Before either realized, her hand raised and traced his lips softly with a finger.
That brief touch however managed to surprise him, breaking his focus momentarily and Ymir's hand shot backwards while she avoided eye contact, speaking fast in slight shock.
_I, uh, eh... i mean sorry for that, not everyone expects a touch on the face, my bad, personal space and all that. -she coughed in her hand, blushing intensely- Well look at the time, we have to get those horsies their water, right mate?
Alastor stared at her while she spoke then turned to get the water wordlessly; however a few seconds later he let out a chuckle and her answer in the form of a quick, soft punch on the arm was immediate.
_Just shut up.
He chuckled harder.
_Fuck you!
Bane shook his head as he pulled the bucket up and readied the next one, glancing at the woman from time to time: Ymir had her gaze on the stable and fixed on the little blonde, frowning slightly and most definitely pretending Alastor didn't exist until the buckets were ready and both made their way back to Krista.
_You did take your time. -the little blonde said still petting a horse, not looking at them- Was your chat interesting?
_Chat? -Ymir answered instantly- What chat?
Lenz rolled her eyes with a little smile and finally turned to look at the man.
_Alastor?
_It was. -he said with a small nod- Now i can understand Ymir... well, both of you a little better.
_I'm glad. -she said and looked at her girlfriend- See? It's not so hard to admit, i saw you talk a bit.
_Fine, we talked. -the brunette said with an eyeroll of her own- He's an interesting guy despite his looks.
_Ymir!
_Don't worry Krista, i know i seem flat as a board and boring. -he stated with a shrug- It makes it easier to study people... they don't notice me looking at all.
_Sweet Rose, you sound like a pervert! -Ymir snorted, covering her mouth, while Lenz pouted at her.
_But it works. -he said, eyes suddenly fixed on the young woman- You never knew i was there, in the dining hall... staring.
_Yeah, sure. Not impressed, Alastor.
_You touch your lower lip with your pinkie whenever you stop to think a question through at dinner, Ymir. -he said.
_I do not!
_I think you do. -Krista said a bit awkwardly, and quickly added- Sometimes?
The freckled girl frowned and eyed both of them, however Alastor wasn't paying attention to her as he checked every horse had been fed and the place properly cleaned.
_I guess we're done here. -he said absently with a nod- Guess i'll go take a shower before dinner, i suggest you do the same unless you want Levi to throw a tantrum. See you later.
He left without another word, looking forward to recording the day's findings on his journal. He'd managed to manipulate Ymir's feelings at will with his gift, even if only momentarily and for a very brief lapse of time; not only that, he'd done it by using what Mina had brought up in him. Something was different in this case however: the first time it had been overwhelming, flowing through all his being fast and strong to the point he couldn't believe it at first; but now it had felt as if it moved all over him, like water in a river. He felt it indeed but like an echo, it wasn't his own; the warmth not reaching as deep as before to the point he'd been completely in control, unattached to it.
_It wasn't really mine. -he whispered.
Was it that what Mina felt then? That warmth, her affection? It would explain why he couldn't summon it again, but what about the fear he felt with Eren? He could recall it well, its paralyzing venom fresh in his mind to the point he could actually will himself to very briefly feel afraid, only a couple of seconds, although he chose not to do so to prevent the risk of losing control of himself. And thinking of it, Hange's sadness also slipped from his control. Was it because Eren was a shifter, or was it something else?
Alastor contemplated the situation: each discovery left opened more questions, making his goal seem further away and yet it didn't frustrate him; on the contrary, he felt spurred into advancing more and more, seeking to explore the full potential of his newfound ability. He could feel through others, he could manipulate them through said feelings. But to what point? What was the limit? And more importantly: what would happen if he crossed it?
_Well... -he whispered with a cold smile- I have the feeling i'll soon be able to find out.
End of Chapter.