Chapter 18

We walked into camp. The entire clan seemed to be trapped in a sad silence. Dawnfur, who was waiting on us, gasped and ran over. Duskpelt was laid on the ground. The medicine cat nudged her brother.

"You can't leave me. Who am I going to prove wrong all time? Who am I going to yell at for being a mouse-brain? Duskpelt." She buried her face in his fur. "I don't want to lose you." Her words were pointless. He was long dead.

She pulled herself together. "Okay, I want injured cats in my den," Dawnfur announced. "A few at a time, please."

I walked up to her before she walked into her den. "I'm sorry," I mewed. "He died saving me. It's all my fault."

"It's okay. Any father would sacrifice themselves for their kit," Dawnfur told me. "And don't blame yourself for what happened at another cats claws. With all the omens we don't figure out until after the fact, we medicine cats wouldn't be able to handle it! Also, might want to come with me anyway. Don't want that wound getting infected."

I still felt uncomfortable in the Dawnfur's den. It made me think about Limppaw and that's the last thing I want to be doing right now. I couldn't stop myself from feeling like it's my fault everyone around me kept dying. What's the point in saving me if I just get more cats killed?

Dawnfur finished and I walked out into the middle of camp. "Deathpaw, is it true you fought with Lightstar?" Wingstar asked.

I turned to look at her. "Yes, Wingstar," I answered.

"Did you start the fight?" she asked.

"She attacked me," I responded.

"Did you ever think this wouldn't have happened if you knew how to keep your mouth shut at a Gathering like every other apprentice? It's one thing to always get dragged into trouble, but you always start it! You get yourself into problems you can't solve and rely on someone else to fix it! You're a completely impulsive mouse-brain who doesn't think about who might get hurt in your idiocy! You are a problem! You think you'll be a valuable warrior the way you are now? Your father is dead and it's all your fault!" Wingstar yowled.

Silence followed her words as no knew how to react. I broke the silence.

"You think I don't know that?" I whispered. I ran out of camp, ignoring the eyes that were on me.

I found myself in the clearing Boulderfang had showed me. I looked up at the stars. Two stars that wouldn't be there if I could actually take care of myself. I heard the underbrush rustle.

"Please go away," I said. Surprisingly enough, it was Silentstorm who appeared. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not going to press you to talk. Boulderfang wasn't going to let you be out here on your own," she said. "He's probably yowling at Wingstar right now."

We sat in silence for a few moments. "I understand how you feel," she began. "The blame your putting on yourself. I was an apprentice, about a moon older than you. You probably remember how we tried to save Silkshade and got captured as well. Have we ever told you the rest of the story?"

"Not really. I just know Flurrytail and Coldclaw showed up," I said.

"Murderscar killed the other two rouges. That's when Flurrytail and Coldclaw showed up," she told me. "Flurrytail had already called killing Silkshade. Murderscar was going to kill us to hurt Silkshade. I refused to let her kill anyone unless it was over my dead body. I fought hard, but lost."

"She was about to kill me when some warriors showed up," she continued. "Sparrowheart saved me. She fought with a mother's love, but in the end, it wasn't enough. She died and I felt like it was all my fault. I wasn't strong enough. All my life I've tried to be stronger to protect those I care about, but it wasn't enough. I felt like I'd failed everyone, I couldn't protect Silkshade and Songheart, and Sparrowheart paid the price. I understand it hurts."

"Wow. You were about ready to attack me a few nights ago and now you're trying to help me," I said after a moment. "So surprising."

"Will you ever let that go?"

"Never. We better go back and see if Boulderfang has killed Wingstar yet," I said.

"Yeah. Really hope she's chosen a deputy," Silentstorm said.

We headed back to camp. We returned to see Boulderfang yowling at the NightClan leader with Tallblaze inputting here and there.

They noticed my return. The two toms hurried over. "Deathpaw, are you okay?" Boulderfang asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered.

"You don't realize how much you worried me by running out like that," Boulderfang said. "Are you completely sure you're fine?"

"You're so annoying," I complained. "Yes, I am completely sure I'm fine."

"I'd be worried if she wasn't annoyed," Tallblaze stated. "Glad you're okay, Shorty."

I was still sad, but was feeling a bit better for the time being. I'm not saying Wingstar was wrong, but it wasn't weighing down on me like it was before. Sometimes having someone relate to you without having to say a word is what is needed. Proof it was going to be okay.

Author Note: I apologize for the intermission. I got a little sick and never ended up publishing it. But here's the chapter! I must say, I hate Wingstar. Why would you even think to say something like that to someone who just lost their father? Unless you're a jerk! And Silentstorm? With emotional support? Just wow. Next week we'll see Silkshade and see how this assassination attempt goes. And I better get to writing so I can finish prewriting the next book so I can publish it as soon as I finish with this... I am so behind... Well, leave a review. Until next week!

-Everly W.