Harry's smile widens, and he kisses the wandering finger. "Good. I love you. And have done since I first met the real you in my dreams."
"The fact that you can use the 'L' word in reference to me at all is difficult to fathom."
"Sometimes, I think I know you." Harry furrows his brow. "But then, when you say things like that, I really don't think I do." He drops his voice. "I've been thinking of you for nearly three years. I tried to forget you for the better part of a year and it was hopeless."
"I have been a prize fool," Severus says. He gets up to pace the living room, but stops to stare unseeingly at the photos on the mantelpiece. Harry springs up too. He can see it now—a total fool. "A soulmate is more valuable to me than anything in the world," he says to the wall. Harry touches his elbow, and Severus turns to face him. His heart thuds, and in spite of everything, he feels a bit queasy. But his way is simple and has been for some time.
"Be mine," Severus says, "bond with me. And I will never let you go."
Harry nods, kisses him sweetly, then wildly, so Severus presses him against the bookshelf, and drives his thigh between Harry's. The room seems hot, Harry throws off his glasses, then he reaches out with his tongue to feel Severus's pulse on his neck. Being licked is intoxicating. Especially by Harry.
Severus grips Harry's hips with bruising fingers and kisses a path from his cheek to his lips. He speaks against his mouth, "I want you. Wholly. Every part."
"Yes," Harry breathes, as he bites down on Severus's lip. "Just tell me when."
"I have half a mind to march you to the Ministry right now." He pushes Harry's chest to create some space between them. "I shall endeavour to contain myself."
Harry touches Severus's shoulder blades through his robes, and can surely feel Severus shiver when he trails his fingers down Severus's spine. "I like watching you lose control like this. So desperate." He brushes his fingertips across Severus's jaw.
Severus grasps his shoulders, to better measure the sincerity in Harry's eyes. "Truly. You'll bond with me…?"
Harry peers at him with startled eyes for three seconds. "I—yes. I would like that. Very much."
Profound relief spreads up from his toes, like Butterbeer on a wintry afternoon, or the touch of a roaring fireplace dousing you with warmth when you come in from the snow.
Harry twirls a lock of Severus's hair around his fingers.
Severus freezes, and stares at the middle distance between them.
I will do my best to deserve you. I will adore you and treasure you until the end of my days, he wants to say.
"The vows—I wrote them years before we met, long before you were even a twinkle in your father's eye, in anticipation that I would someday need them. After all this time, I am astounded that I will be fortunate enough to make use of them."
Harry beams at him. "You did? That's wonderful, Severus." Desperate. Lovesick. Alone. Not wonderful. "You're a sappy romantic. Don't try to deny it. I love it."
"I deny everything. Not guilty."
Severus closes the gap between them he created, meeting Harry's lips once more whilst pulling himself tighter against him. He needs Harry. And if Harry wants him back, there is no use in resisting.
"I really do love you," Harry whispers against his lips, Severus eternally grateful that he didn't pull away to say it. He craves to continue letting his tongue dance with Harry's, to feel the gentleness give way to lust.
"Mmhm," Severus moans, pressing his body into Harry's, trapping him against the bookshelf. Harry winds his fingers into lank hair as Severus's hands wander up to Harry's cheeks, allowing him to take in his features without opening his eyes, all the while exploring as much of his mouth as he could. His taste, his smell, his very presence, Severus can never get enough of it. He always wants more. More acceptance, more intimacy, more Harry.
Meanwhile, Severus chants 'he wants me back' again and again in his mind, because now that they are engaged, it cannot be refuted. His lungs feel warm, he's lightheaded, and when he sees the dazed and desperate look in his favourite eyes, he decides that only he gets to turn him into this state. Only his touch will drum Harry to this level of excitement.
"When you look at me like that, it makes waiting quite a trial," Severus murmurs.
"Don't look, then." He covers Severus's eyes with a hand, and plants sweet kisses on Severus's jaw.
"Kissing me like that doesn't help, either."
It takes a tremendous strength of will to tear away, and return Harry's glasses to his face. He straightens his robes and looks around. "This house is a state. Have a shower whilst I put it to rights."
"The house is fine!"
Severus raises an eyebrow. "Don't pretend you're domesticated, you never replace the cap on the toothpaste." He draws himself up to his full height and folds his arms. "You really ought to warn vulnerable men like me, who can be taken in by your masculine wiles."
Harry elbows him. "Stop complaining, your life is fine. "
It is unwise to follow Harry to the shower. Instead, he changes into his nightshirt, feeds Donald a thawed mouse, and refreshes Somnus's water bowl. With a few waves of his wand, the kitchen is sparkling, the living room blankets are folded, and a book that dropped onto the carpet whilst they were kissing is in its proper place. He's just contemplating reading another draft chapter of Harry's thesis, annoyed at himself for forgetting his spectacles, when Harry descends the stairs dressed in nothing but pyjama bottoms.
Severus is so easily tempted it's laughable and stops him on the last stair. His mouth is in line with Harry's warm sternum, and he explores pectorals, nipples, and collarbone with his tongue and teeth. Harry's breath catches, and his lips find Severus's.
He hears the clatter of Harry's glasses landing on the floor.
It's overpowering, having Harry in his arms. Attractive, clever, funny. Soft skin that smells of soap. Green, green eyes. A soulmate of his own. And someone who likes him in return.
"I want you," Harry moans against his lips. "I don't just want to get off—" Harry breaks off to press his tongue into Severus's mouth for a moment, he tastes of spearmint toothpaste "I want you, I want to come with you—" Harry kisses the underside of Severus's jaw, then puts his mouth to Severus's ear, and his breath is hot "I want you inside me."
Severus mindlessly cups the bulge in Harry's pyjama trousers, perhaps it's a way to quiet him, but no—
His need is undeniable, especially when Severus pins him to the wall to claim his mouth, his sighs, his desire, to rock their hips together. And when Severus pushes his hand down the front of Harry's trousers, he says, "Fuck, you can't do that without warning."
"Sorry, I—"
"Wha-? Don't stop. Are you mad? Keep—oh—"
Harry's cock is hard, warm, strange in his palm. With a dick he at least knows what to do and it is comparable to his own. All instruction he had read in Wizards Under the Sheets flies out the window at the sight of an aroused man before him. He strokes it up and down with a substantial grip, watching in delight as Harry falls apart, and there's a thunk as his head hits the wall.
"Kiss me. I want to taste you while—"
Harry is forthright, Harry is instructional, and it's just the kind of feedback Severus is grateful to receive. He gives him what he demands, swallows down his grunts, and caresses the back of his neck.
His hips snap forwards, the grasp on Severus's shoulders turns pincer-like, a groan rumbles deep in his chest, and so it's no surprise when Harry says, "I'm—close. Been thinking about you all day. All evening—"
Harry breaks off to suck at Severus's neck (which is torturous), before demanding, "Look at me. I want you to look at me while I come. I need—I need you to see what you do to me."
It is hard to remain composed when Harry falls apart in his hands, eyes glazed over, hands scrabbling across Severus's back, crying out as his hips jerk again and again and again.
Eventually, Harry's gaze focuses on Severus's, and he tangles his hands in Severus's hair. "Fuck, you're perfect."
Harry must have read something in Severus's eyes, which is impossible as his Occlumency is as flawless as it ever was, for he says, "I feel like I can really be myself around you." Harry kisses him. "I feel I can be just vulnerable like this and yet feel so safe." There's another kiss, then Harry takes his sticky hand. "Dunno if that makes any sense, but all I know is that it feels right." He looks up at Severus through his dark eyelashes. "And I can also feel how hard you are against my stomach."
Before Severus can shift away, Harry says, "I like it." He lifts Severus's hand to his mouth—surely not? Good God—and licks the cum off it.
"Fuck," Severus whispers. Harry's tongue is wet and hot and he cleans every last drop.
Harry continues, "It lets me know that, y'know, you fancy me."
"You silly, silly man," Severus murmurs. He leans down to kiss Harry, who tastes obscene. Harry's hand rests on Severus's sides through his nightshirt.
"Can I, er, take care of you? I want to make you feel as good as you just made me feel."
He's not sure if this counts as 'waiting for marriage', but Severus nods nonetheless, as it is hopeless, and he wants him.
He allows Harry to guide him onto the stairs. "Just lay back, that's it." Thankfully Harry doesn't remove his nightshirt, and just pulls it up. He knows him so well, it's frightening.
Harry repairs his glasses and puts them back on.
Before he can fathom what is going on, tender lips are on the inside of his knees, his thighs, the skin above his underwear, and it's an unbelievable sight.
"Can I—I mean, I haven't tried before, so I might need a bit of practice—"
Severus nods once, as if in a dream, and Harry tugs his underpants to his shins. His heart is racing like it never has before. He was achingly hard, but his cock has waned now he's nervous and Harry is staring at him.
Harry's eyes are wide.
Something is wrong.
"Sorry, I'm not sure it'll fit. But I'll give it a go."
Two things register: Harry hasn't done this before, and he is about to be fellated.
Harry kisses his cock, just once. His breath is warm. The world narrows to Harry's mouth, and Severus forces himself to continue breathing.
"You'll tell me if I'm doing it wrong?"
Severus clears his throat. "That can be arranged."
"Thank you, Professor."
Shit.
Harry watches his face as he kisses his hip. "I love the way you look at me, like you honestly care about me." He kisses the pale skin of his stomach, just an inch beside his half-hard cock. "It makes me want you even more." Harry's nose brushes against his cock when he breathes in his smell.
His chest heaves as he contemplates what is about to happen. Harry runs a tongue down his cock, which hardens completely, and Severus's jaw drops of its own accord. When he wraps his lips around the head, Severus forgets his own name.
It's amazing, the most thrilling sight and sensation he's ever experienced, and he strokes Harry's hair to encourage him, to communicate without words he values Harry above even himself. He struggles to imagine disgusting things, anything to stave off the embarrassingly imminent finale—beetle's eyes, a baby with Bolognese all over its face, pickled frogs—
Harry wraps his hand around Severus's cock, then pops off to clear his throat and swallow. "Is it—all right?"
"Ah—yes," he says breathily. "Yes it is."
"Acceptable?" Harry smirks.
"I—" He gathers his wits about him and narrows his eyes. "Harry…" he warns.
"I'm aiming for an Exceeds Expectations."
"It's—very good," Severus says, sounding strangled even to his own ears.
He returns, caressing and sucking with more fervour, more tenacity, and moans. Any inexperience is surpassed by sheer enthusiasm.
Two more things occur to him: Harry likes encouragement. And he's truly not going to last long.
"You feel—incredible," Severus gasps. He does, he does, he does.
Harry's eyes sparkle, and he runs his fingertips over the insides of Severus's thighs, and it's all too much.
He barely notices the burn of the carpet, and as his legs shake, Harry holds him against the stairs. He doesn't slow, and if anything he speeds up, and he doesn't stop staring. Severus jerks his hips, once, twice, and cries out as he pulses into Harry's mouth. He's barely cognizant of Harry choking a little, but he swallows and licks the cum that drips out of the corner of his mouth.
Severus's eyes are wide and his body is boneless.
Harry puts him to bed.
"Can we get a swimming pool?" Harry asks sometime later.
"Depends. How often will you use it?"
Harry lies on his side, dressed in his boxers, and props himself up on one elbow. Severus is still in a post-orgasmic haze and traces patterns around his belly button.
"Do you mean…how often will I walk around in swimming trunks?"
Severus blows a raspberry on Harry's neck and says, "Perhaps. You see right through me."
His jaw drops. "I can't believe you just did that!"
Severus stretches his arms behind his head, crosses his feet at the ankles, and smirks. "I forbid you from retaliating."
Naturally, Harry scrambles into his lap. "Fine. Only if we can get a cat."
"We already have an owl, a snake, and a toddler that behaves like a monkey. Do I resemble an animal lover?"
Harry grins and raises an eyebrow. "I'm gonna act like that wasn't a real question."
"Felix. We should call it Felix."
"Oh, that's a nice name. Like the cat food."
"It means 'lucky' or 'happy' in Latin. You didn't learn much up at that school, did you."
"No, Professor."
"Cheeky brat." Severus loops his arms around Harry and manoeuvres him so Harry's on his back. "Felix. Because I am very lucky to have you."
"Oh!" Harry's face morphs into a grin at Severus, and kisses him on the cheek. "You're being sappy again. I love it."
"Nonsense." Harry lies stock still as Severus traces his nose, the bow of his lip. "I would have thought you would've wanted children," Severus says quietly with a frown.
It is remarkable how fast his face can transform from content to dismay. "Don't you want children?"
"I am not a good man. Though perhaps you may turn me into one." He allows hesitation to show on his face. "I never thought I'd live to see the end of the war, let alone find someone foolish enough to tie themselves to me." This doesn't seem to cheer Harry up. "But your happiness is above my own and I'd do anything for you. You're remarkably slow when it comes to reading my soul. In fact, the sooner you realise that, the firmer the ground I will be on."
Harry nods slowly and kisses every knuckle on Severus's hand.
"There are many types of family," he says. "I've got the Weasleys. My godson. You. And you're great with Ted. So I'm sure we'll be okay with what we have. Because we have a lot." A smile grows on Harry's face, and it is so welcome, like a fresh olive leaf carried by a dove. "So…I just want to make sure…we're engaged?"
"Only death will part us."
To his horror, Harry's eyes fill with tears. "You really want…"
Severus rushes to kiss the tears away from his cheeks. "What's wrong?"
"I'm fine," he chokes out, as he wipes his eyes. "Guess what the messages say on your arm."
Harry doesn't continue but offers him a watery smile.
"Well?" Severus asks impatiently.
"Guess!"
Severus traces circles on Harry's shoulder. "'What's for dinner?', or 'What are you thinking?' Or perhaps, 'May you explain the plot of Die Hard?'"
His forearm tingles. He pulls up the sleeve of his nightshirt and stares. When he firmly presses the tattoo, he sees the paling of his flesh as the blood rushes away. He still can't read words through the ink.
"I know it upsets you. That I can't speak to you through it."
Severus lies on his back and nods at the ceiling. "It is a deep, deep regret."
"Well, for months I've been sending, 'I love you.' From now on, I'll always send the very same message, so you'll always know."
Severus is bewildered. Harry huddles nearer.
His arm tingles again and he clutches it to his chest and bends his head as if in prayer.
Harry reads his own arm as the message appears:
'Stay with me and love me always.'
In the morning, gentle fingers massage the Numbing Salve into his neck, his forearm tingles, sweet lips kiss his eyelids awake, and everything, everything is wonderful.