CHAPTER 20

"She didn't make it."

Finn's hand went limp, and his phone dropped to the ground. He went pale. His legs gave out, and he sat down on a nearby bench. Santana noticed this sudden change in expression and she sat down next to him.

"Finn, you okay?" She asked. Finn shook his head.

"I gotta go." He said, taking off towards his car. Santana looked at him, confused. Something was seriously wrong with her best friend, and she wanted to find out what it was, so she could help him. She followed him to his car, and as he started the engine, Santana opened the passenger door and climbed in. Finn spun around to face her.

"What the hell, San?" He spat. "Get out of my car!"

"Nope. You're clearly not OK. You're my best friend. I'm not gonna let you do something stupid."

Finn sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Finn, what happened?" She asked softly.

"Um… I got a call from St. Margaret's Hospital. My mom, she was mugged, and then stabbed. She bled out before she made it to the hospital. She's gone."

Santana's face dropped. She couldn't believe it. While she was still regaining her nerves, Finn reversed out of the McKinley lot and sped towards the hospital like a maniac. Santana honestly thought she was going to die during that journey.

"FINN! SLOW DOWN! YOU'RE GONNA CRASH!" She screamed. Finn completely ignored her and kept on driving at a breakneck speed. A couple of minutes later, and probably 10 parking tickets later, Finn and Santana arrived at the hospital. Finn sprinted into the building, with Santana close behind. They approached the reception desk.

"WHERE IS CAROLE HUDSON!" He screamed at the receptionist. She jumped in shock, and then a look of pity crossed her face.

"You must be Finn, her son." She said, not losing her cool, despite the fact that Finn had just yelled at her. Finn nodded.

"She's in the hospital morgue on the seventh floor. I'm so sorry Mr. Hudson." She said, kindly. Finn ran towards the lift and punched the elevator button so hard that it almost broke. Santana took his hands in her own.

"Finn, I can't imagine what you're going through right now…" She said gently. "But you need to calm down. Lashing out isn't going to help anyone."

Finn nodded and slumped his head down in defeat. The lift door opened and Finn walked towards the morgue entrance, much calmer now. He was quickly shown to the room where his mom was temporarily lying until the funeral. Once they were outside the door, Santana stepped back.

"Hey, Finn. I'll be here, OK?" She whispered. Finn nodded, took a deep breath, and walked into the room to see his mother for the last time…

When he entered the room, what he noticed first was the extreme cleanliness. Despite the fact that he was in a room full of corpses, he started to choke on the strong disinfectant smell. He walked over to a body, covered by a white sheet. He pulled the sheet down a little to reveal the face of the person, confirming what he already knew. Carole's pale face was staring lifelessly back at him.

When he saw her, he broke down. Tears streamed down his face, and he forced them back, at least until he finished saying goodbye to his mother.

"Hey mom." He said to her, as though she was still sitting right there, alive and well. "I really don't know what to say right now, but I'm going to try my best. I honestly don't know where to begin. You took me in when nobody else would, when I was considered to be 'broken beyond repair'. I had seen things no 14 year old should have seen, done things no 14 year old should have done. But you didn't mind. You saved my life, simple as that. I love you so much, and I can't believe you're gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye. You're the best person I know; you didn't deserve this."

Finn started to break down, but he forced himself to finish.

"I already miss you. I know that you're probably having a lot more fun where you are now, but I still wish you were here with me. I know it's selfish, but you're never going to see the person I become. I'm going to make something of myself. I'm going to make you proud, I swear to you. All I can do now is hope now is that you're having a drink with Whitney Housten. That was always your dream for the afterlife, wasn't it? The only thing I know for sure is that this world's gonna be a much crappier place without you. I'm going to miss you so much."

He finished his goodbye, and the doctor that had snuck into the room covered his mom with the sheet once more, and put her in a body bag. Meanwhile, when the doctor entered the room, he had left the door slightly ajar, and Santana could hear Finn saying goodbye to his mom. Tears spilled down her lashes. She could hear the pain and the mourning in his voice, and it killed her to see her best friend so upset. And Carole was such a nice person: she didn't deserve what happened. She had taken Santana in when her own parents had cast her out. Carole was the kindest woman in the world. Finn kissed his mom's forehead and walked out of the room. Once he made it out, he started crying freely. All Santana could do was hold him and cry with him for his deceased mom.

"Finn, I'm so sorry." She sobbed. "Carole didn't deserve this."

Finn wiped the tears from his eyes as they left the hospital. He knew from the death of his biological mother that there were many meetings with police, regarding the murder investigation; Will Executors and funeral directors; and countless other people who were giving him their condolences. Thankfully, he had the night to just process everything that had happened. Finn and Santana drove home in silence. Carole was mugged whilst walking on a public street, and not in her house, so there were no CSI officers roaming around the house. Finn parked the car but he didn't get out. Santana looked at him, confused.

"Finn, are you okay?" She asked.

"I need to do something." He said suddenly. "And I need to do it alone."

"Finn… I." She started, but Finn cut her off. He knew exactly what she was about to say.

"Santana, thank you so much for caring about me - it means a lot - but I need to do this without you. I swear I'm not about to do anythings stupid or illegal. And I'll drive safely." He promised. She reluctantly sighed and got out of the car. Finn immediately drove away, making a beeline for the place. He parked his car 15 minutes later and knocked on the door. It was opened by a confused looking couple.

"Finn? What a surprise! Um… Santana isn't here." Mrs. Lopez said, confused.

"And you know that, so why are you here?" Mr. Lopez added. Finn looked him right in the eye before continuing.

"Mr. Lopez, Mrs. Lopez, it's time you apologise to your daughter and take her back. And accept her for who she is."

"Finn, it isn't that easy." Mrs. Lopez said, sighing. Finn didn't break eye contact.

"Please, just hear me out. 20 minutes. That's all I ask. My mom just died today." He murmured. The couple's mouths dropped, and they swung the door open to let him in. He spent the next 20 minutes explaining to them about what Santana had been through in the past two months, and how much her parents' rejection had affected her. He also talked about everything that had happened to his mom earlier that day.

"It all ended." He said. "So fast. One moment I was waving goodbye to my mom on the way to school, the next, I was in the hospital morgue, saying goodbye. It can all end in a heartbeat, and we have control over when. I was in great terms with my mom when she passed, and it's still killing me. I can't even imagine how you would feel if something happens to Santana tomorrow, and the last words you spoke with her were you kicking her out of your house - for doing absolutely nothing wrong. So here's how it's gonna work - you're going to apologise, earn her trust back, and let her back into your house and into your lives."

They were stunned by Finn's emotional speech. They both had tears in their eyes - even Mr. Lopez, who hadn't cried in 10 years.

"Finn, you're an amazing friend to Santana. You clearly care about her a lot, and I'm glad she has friends like you to counteract what we did." Mrs. Lopez commented. "First thing tomorrow morning, I am going to see my daughter, with or without you, Victor." She said, turning to her husband.

"It will be with me, Camila." He said. Finn smiled faintly, and immediately felt bad. His mom had just been murdered, and he was smiling. Was this how it was going to be for the rest of his life? Him feeling guilty for being happy? Finn politely excused himself, and drove back home. When he arrived, he saw Santana with a bottle of scotch in one hand, and two glasses in another. She had clearly broken into Carole's liquor cabinet, but Finn wasn't about to complain. He need to take the edge off, numb the incredible pain he was feeling.

"Here, drink this. It's liquid magic." She said, pouring him a glas. He accepted it gratefully and took a sip. It burned his insides, and he relished the feeling. Him and Santana both had two glasses each before Santana started feeling tipsy and had gone to bed. Finn was still awake though. He took the bottle, walked out to the balcony, and gazed out into the darkness, hoping that God was listening. His whole life had been shattered in a couple of seconds, but everyone else went on with their day as if nothing had happened.

"You cruel, manipulative bastard!" He shouted at the sky, hoping that God was somehow listening. However, Finn now had little faith that God really existed. I mean what kind of a god would let something so horrible happen to someone so wonderful. "Was this all part of Your plan? It's all just a game to You, isn't it? Well, she did not deserve that. She followed Your stupid rules and it still wasn't good enough! So what does it take to please You? Break Your rules and you fall! Follow them and you still lose?! Doesn't matter whether you're a sinner! Doesn't matter whether you're a saint! Nobody can win, so what's the point? What's the fucking point?"

After his outburst, there was a brief silence, and then a clap of thunder and lightning vibrated nearby. It started pouring rain, and Finn threw his empty bottle of scotch in a fit of rage. He stormed inside and took a shower. Once he changed into his pajamas, he walked into the living room, and that's when he saw it…

A picture of him and Carole that he took when they went to Mexico a couple of years back was lying on the glass coffee table. They both looked so happy, so carefree. That simple picture was enough to set Finn off again. He grabbed the nearest object to him - which in his case was a kettle - and hurled it at the table. It landed on the glass table and absolutely shattered it. Suddenly, for the first time in almost 3 years, Finn had a nightmare flashback. He was dragged back to the gloomy evening 10 years ago, when his own father had thrown him in the same fashion, into the same kind of table. Once the memory finally ceased, Finn curled up in a foetal ball in the corner of the room, trembling and shaking. Santana rushe out of her room when she heard the smashing of the glass table. She was afraid that Finn had done something stupid to himself. When he saw him in the corner of the room, she walked over and sat down next to him. All she could do that night was hold him, and eventually fall asleep next to him. It wasn't a peaceful sleep though, for either of them. It was riddled with nightmares of the horrors that had occurred that day.