I went over to the Shepherd house Saturday night for dinner. I wasn't entirely sure who would be at the dinner beside Mrs. Shepherd and her husband. I headed over just after six. I knocked on the door, and Mr. Shepherd answered giving me a warm welcome. He was always like a dad to me.

"How're you doing, Mr. Shepherd?" I asked as I followed him into the living room. "Still have that store?"

"I think you're old enough to call me Nick now. Truth is, I always hated when you called me Mr. Shepherd; I felt old. But Carol wanted to teach you a little thing called respect."

"She's taught me a lot, probably more than my own mother."

"Is she home tonight?"

I laughed. "No, no. Her not being home much is part of the reason why I haven't visit much the past few years."

Mrs. Shepherd came out of the kitchen to greet me with a hug. She told me dinner will ready in an half hour. She also told me Derek will be joining us tonight. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, seeing my ex-boyfriend. I smiled, though, and said great.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard the front door open and close. I heard him shout his hellos to his parents as he made his way through the house where we were. Mrs. Shepherd went to hug her son. Apparently they haven't seen him since his graduation from med school three weeks ago.

Derek then turned to me. My heart was beating super fast. "Hey, Meredith."

"Hi, Derek."

The house phone rang, and Mrs. Shepherd asked Nick to answer it while she returned to the kitchen, leaving Derek and I alone in the living room. He sat down in the chair diagonal from the couch I was sitting on.

"I heard you moved back." Derek said.

"I did. I got into the program at Brigham, so... I heard you went to med school. What happened to wanting to be a bioengineer?"

"Changed my mind."

"Where will you be doing your residency at?"

"New York–Presbyterian."

"Do you know what you will be specializing in? Are you planning on being a surgeon or just a primary care physician?"

"Surgeon, possibly in neuro, maybe cardio. What about you?"

"I don't know yet. Mom told me just don't go into plastics because that's not real surgery. I don't think I will be following her into general, though."

"Don't want to follow her in her foot steps?"

I made eye contact with Derek. "I want to be my own person."

Derek's father returned, and sat on the couch. "That was Lizzie having another breakdown. Your mother was able to calm her down. She had twins two months ago with her husband Peter; Lucas and Jacob" He told me.

"That's exciting." I smiled.

"Yes, but it's been hard for her."

"She already has a two year old daughter." Derek added.

"Ah, the terrible twos plus two newborns. A breakdown sounds expected then."

Mrs. Shepherd entered the room to tell us dinner is ready. We served ourselves in the kitchen, then gathered around the kitchen table. We chatted about a number of different things. Mrs. Shepherd also brought up memories from when Derek and I were kids. When we finished eating, I stayed another half hour, and then decided it was time to leave.

"Don't be a stranger." Nick told me.

"Yes, you're welcome over anytime." Mrs. Shepherd added. "You're family."

I smiled. "Thank you for everything."

Derek walked me out. His excuse was that he had to get something out of his car anyways. Walking out of the Shepherd house with Derek felt like old times. I felt like we were both sixteen again. How I miss those times.

"Do you ever wish you were back in high school? Back being a teenager living life carelessly?" I asked him.

"I'm assuming you do."

"It's weird being back. Being back in my old room. Being back in this neighborhood. Being back with your family. Seeing you. It just makes me feel a little sad thinking about how life used to be. Now we're adults. How did that even happen? One moment we're ten going camping and catching fireflies. The next we're doctors ready to get our careers started."

"Are you okay Meredith?" Derek asked.

"I'm fine. Bye Derek."

"Hey, Meredith!" Derek shouted as I was half way to my house. I stopped and looked at him. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

I heard a knock on my door just after twelve. I knew exactly who it was going to be. Last night Derek asked if I wanted to hang with him today. I told him sure. I think he could tell I was feeling a little down, and needed a friend.

"Wow, looks exactly how I remember it does in here." Derek said as he entered my mother's house. "Absolutely nothing changed."

"Except for a newer TV that she doesn't even watch."

"How're you doing by the way?" Derek asked. "You seemed kind of down last night."

"I was... I am." I sighed as I sat down on the couch. Derek sat down beside me. "I've been questioning my life choices lately. If being a doctor is really what I want to do or I'm just doing it because of my mom. I know it's kind of late for me to question it now after completing med school, but-"

"It's never too late."

"Thing is, I never questioned it once throughout med school. I've always known it was what I was going to do. Maybe I'm just feeling this way because I'm back home feeling extremely nostalgic. But thinking back at my life, as long as I could remember, my mom has always pushed me becoming a doctor. She never once asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. It was always, you are going to be a surgeon. It was just expected. Am I just living the life she wants me to live, or am I living the life I want to live?"

"I think everyone at one point or another question what they're doing with their life. Why do you think there are people who make a sudden career change when they're forty?"

"I don't want to be forty and decide I don't want to be a doctor after all. I'd rather decide now before I begin a five year program, you know? I don't want to waste my life doing something I don't want to do and not happy doing it."

"If you want my opinion. Complete your first year at Brigham. See how you like it. If you decide that life isn't for you, drop out, and decide what you want to do. It's as simple as that."

"Except I'll have a mother who will disown me. She's my only family."

"I'll take it you still haven't made amends with your dad?"

"I haven't seen or talked to him since high school graduation. My sisters, we don't have the best relationship because of that. They think I'm wrong for alienating dad from my life."

"From what I remember, he was a total asshole."

"He wasn't always one. It was his wife that turned him into one. She hated me from the get go. Lexie and Molly don't want to believe it just like dad."

"Well, you still have my family." Derek stood up from the couch. "Alright, let's go."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Let's just go." He said again.

Derek and I walked next door to his car. He got in the driver's side, while I got in on the passenger side. Derek refused to tell me where we are going. After driving for forty minutes, I saw in the distance a carnival. It reminded me of when Derek took me here for our first ever date when we were seventeen. Derek pulled into the parking lot, and we got out.

"What are we doing here?"

"Thought it would be fun." Derek said.

He paid for both of our entrance fees. We then purchased tickets so we can go on rides and play games. I think this kind of day was exactly what I needed. Derek even won me a big stuff animal, and I mocked him saying he's ten years late. He told me better late than never.

After spending a couple of hours at the carnival, Derek drove us home. When Derek pulled up to his parents' house, I thanked him for doing this today.

"Seemed like you needed a friend."

"I did, I do." We got out of his car. Derek grabbed the giant stuff animal from his back seat, and handed it to me. "How long are you visiting for?"

"A week. My program begins the week after."

"I'll see you around then."