Hi again! I'm back, if you're less than 18 you know you have to close the tab and disappear, I'm trying to keep your innocence safe. See the end for more notes, let's enjoy this reunion together because our hunk is finally back! Yey! Heat begins to rise again, no matter how hard they try there's no way they can keep their hands off each other *evil smirk*
TAKE ME WHEN YOU NEED ME
PART XIX
The Master Chief was running.
It was difficult and tiresome, his boots kept sinking in the bone-colored sand. Each step costed him the same effort as three, it was like running underwater. The oxygen indicator on his HUD indicated low. A dozen warning labels flared in his peripheral vision, trying to distract him from the target.
He looked up to the east, breathing hard, holding on to his rifle for dear life.
The huge violet, curved shape of an alien vessel suspended inside atmosphere.
The solid white-hot column of plasma flowing down from it.
The wide wall of a storm-front made of fire that approached, unstoppable, as a rain of molten glass poured everywhere. He was very late to the party; those bastards were already engaging. John saw a huge swarm of fighters entangled in battle with other purple shapes, surrounded by explosions. The sounds were far but approached fast, not a lot of time left. He dismissed the warnings and pushed on, trying to run faster. The Spartan located the trail made with flat rocks, coming out of the dunes and the tall grass to find the beach at last, to find the house.
A generic, standardized post-war house, blocky and gray but somewhat cozy.
He glanced at the animal tracks on the sand, a dog. Found the traces of a child's feet.
The civilians were still by the shore, just… sitting. Sitting on a blanket, on the sand.
But it was so odd, surreal. The sky on this side was clear, light blue, there was a breeze and the wail of seagulls; but when he turned his head to the battle raging towards the east, everything was crimson smoke and a white column, his ears full of the roar of the storm, again. The Covenant had found Reach. They were doing what they did best: turn the planet into a crust of glass, destroy every single living thing in it.
He had to hurry.
But no matter how fast or hard John tried to run, he wasn't moving.
The civilians in his sight shifted, merging into one, closer. It was a woman, he noticed, she wore a long, white dress and a big hat made of straw. He could hear the dog barking and the child laughing, but he couldn't see them around. John was certain that he used his external speakers to tell her she was in danger and had to get away, and yet she picked up the basket and the blanket with paused movements. She didn't seem to be in a hurry, at all.
The rumble of the storm approached, black clouds began to obscure the clear sky along with the shadow of the Covenant assault carrier. John shouted again, but not even he could hear his own voice. Panic invaded his bloodstream. More labels flared on his HUD.
The woman turned around, holding the straw hat over her head with her hand.
Smoke whirled around her, there was nothing he could do. But her face, he…
It was a face John hadn't seen in a long time; very little in his dreams and never again in real life. His heart stopped. He literally felt it stop inside his chest.
'Parisa.' he thought, out of breath. "Parisa!"
Then her face shifted, hair shorter, her figure taller and her complexion paler.
Her smile was bright, as much as her blue eyes.
'No, not Parisa… it's Cortana.'
The dress swirled and tangled around her legs with violence as the tempest of fire and plasma advanced. Her lovely features tainted with fear, she tried to escape. Her movements were slow, difficult. Painful, even. John stretched his armored hand to her, in vain, his eyes drifted down her figure to the bump under her clothes, on her stomach. He didn't hear the dog or the child anymore.
The hat flew off her head. She tried to catch it.
"Cortana, no!"
The wall of fire swallowed her whole and ate everything on its wake.
It devoured John as well, he experienced the scorching heat of the plasma melting his armor away, blistering his skin, burning him alive inside out. Pain shot through the back of his head into every limb and he screamed, screamed, screamed…
The whirlwind of darkness shifted into a blinding light when his eyes opened, abruptly. He wasn't burning, he wasn't on the beach and most definitely, he wasn't alone:
"JOHN!"
Everything hurt, everything…
But he was awake, this time for real. John was aware that he'd been jumping in and out of consciousness, traveling through dozens of fake scenarios and old memories, living in his own flesh some very, very weird fantasies of old. His grasp on reality had always been strong, he wasn't easy to fool.
And yet, that last dream almost tricked him.
No, the pain was real. Oh, he felt so sore, all over, mostly on the left side of his body.
"John! It's okay, I'm here!" his skin prickled when she grabbed his arm.
The Master Chief found the shadow looming over him and backed up, head hitting the pillow behind. Nowhere to run. The raw feel of warm fingers on his chest, the sound of the alarms bleeping loud in his ears, a mixture of sweet and acrid smells hit his nose. It was one hell of a system shock, an overload of sensations that made his head spin.
"Cortana?" he asked, when he found his voice again.
"Yes, it's me. You're safe, you…"
The fingers were on his face now, he shivered upon the contact.
She was there, he hadn't just been dreaming of her…
"You had another nightmare." she whispered.
Another one? He only remembered one. A vision of fire and plasma flashed in the back of his mind, he… willing his racing heart to ease down, John turned to her. The clouds on his vision faded with the passing of a few seconds and the alarms stopped ringing, one after another. She was half-climbing on the bed, her warm breath blew softly over his skin and washed away the rest of the anxiety. Their eyes met at last.
Her eyes, it was the only thing that made sense. She was like a beacon
Oh, she was so beautiful…
"What was going on in there? It sounded terrible." her voice asked, afflicted.
Everything came into focus at once.
"The beach had been glassed." he managed to articulate.
Cortana frowned. "What beach?"
John snapped awake in full.
His senses regained clarity, his pupils narrowed in a primal response of fear, ancient and visceral. The Master Chief shook his head dismissing the subject, once he managed to control his emotions. Cortana looked at the machines above and the screen of the pad, that he found lying on the bed between them. He swallowed a curse, knowing that the apparatus was giving him away. For a second, John thought she would push for an answer.
Instead Cortana grabbed his hand and tangled their fingers together.
The gesture surprised him, but he didn't pull away; it was… familiar.
His skin was sweaty, he felt cold seeping under. Strange cold. In contrast, she was so warm, her fingers were solid. She was real.
"You… were calling someone." she observed, pulling strands of black hair behind her ear. Cortana looked down, cautious. "Parisa, I think you said?"
He felt his heart stop again, literally.
His mouth opened and closed but no sound came out.
"Someone I knew." John said, after a moment. "Someone who died."
She waited, her eyes wandering all over his face, but since he didn't add anything…
Cortana nodded: "I see. I'm sorry."
"It was a long time ago." he felt like he had to explain, somehow. Why?
He could sense everything from her with staggering transparency.
She seemed distant, stiff. His nose promptly isolated Cortana's scent out of the rest of the chemical trace of sanitizers and medicines, and it stuck to the back of his throat like a magnet. That intense perfume of pregnant female. John hadn't missed it, for some reason, it was like she never really left him. But it was good to catch it so fresh.
The way she rubbed his shoulder with her soft palm helped him sink into the mattress.
Cortana smiled, after a while. "How are you feeling?"
She was real, yes, but that smile wasn't. Something tugged at his instinct.
"Hungry." he admitted.
"I'm sure you are. I'll get you something to eat, don't worry."
She patted his arm and hopped off the bed, quickly.
He reacted by instinct and grabbed her wrist before she could get away.
"What's your status?" John asked, trying not to wince in pain. "Is your baby okay?"
Cortana stared for a second or two to the grip of his massive hand on her and looked at his face. She returned to his side and her smile became genuine:
"I was a little bruised, but we're both fine. I'm almost eight weeks in." she explained, speaking softly now.
"Eight weeks?" John mumbled, a little confused.
He didn't really have a notion of how much time had passed. Eight weeks seemed like an eternity and yet he remembered like it was yesterday the first time they had met on that locker room, when he got his first intimate taste of her.
It felt like it had been an eternity since he first saw her in person, too.
"The scan looks good, everything is in order." she reassured him, nodding. "Let me get you food, first, I should inform Anders that you're awake. Everyone will be thrilled, we've been waiting for a while."
This time John grunted in agreement and relaxed on the bed, again. He finally let go of her wrist, she headed to the door.
"I'm glad." John said, before she left. After a pause, he added: "That you're fine."
Cortana tilted her head to the side, with another small smile.
"It was all thanks to you, John. You know that, right?" she murmured.
x.x.x.x.x
Cortana put the disposable cup under the dispenser and waited while the coffee poured into it. She closed her eyes for a moment, tired. She had slept like shit that night, waking up every few minutes to check out if John was sedated and calm. Behind the protective glass of the cooking station, a nurse was checking out the notes on her pad and concocting a tray with a very nutritious, flavorless meal according to Doctor Halsey's orders.
Cortana switched the cups, filling up one for herself. She chose decaffeinated.
Using her pad, she wrote a memo both to Anders and her mother, very brief.
'He's awake and lively.' it said. 'No signs of trauma, looks stable. Chatty too.'
She hit the send command and hug herself under the padded jacket, shivering.
The sound returned to her mind, she would never be able to forget.
John's breath, agitated and erratic, his chest quivering. The strangled whine coming out of his mouth. The way his deadly hands clutched the sheets. She figured out it wasn't just an ordinary nightmare when she saw the signs, when she heard the names. He was going through something else, far inside his own mind: the mighty Titan looked troubled, deeply shaken. That whimpering mass of muscles wasn't the same man that had made her submit and lose her mind under his command. This was someone else.
Someone she didn't recognize, at first.
Cortana didn't sedate him again because he had been sleeping longer than intended, but wished there was something she could've done to ease his pain. Her relief came when John woke up for good, of course, but…
The way he froze when she said the name out loud. Parisa.
And how he dismissed it all, cautiously. His whole body pushed back, trying to hide. John probably didn't even notice, it was all instinct for him. Cortana's heart shrunk inside her chest. He remembered her, he still felt that girl's death. Her mother was wrong, her precious Spartan hadn't come out of that affair unscathed as she preferred to believe.
'And yet, he asked about us again.' Cortana thought, feeling warm inside.
'Focus on the important things, he's going to be fine now. For the most part.'
She picked up the tray when it was ready, a pack of bottles of water and headed to the next stop on her tour, the nurse's station.
x.x.x.x.x
"I thought you'd want to shave." she stated. "Maybe straighten up a little that sloppy haircut they gave you, too?"
He was sitting on the bed, now. Cortana left a case and a white towel on his lap, with a mirror. She had sweet-talked the head of nurses until the man let her borrow a personal care kit. As John examined and opened the case, she pulled down the collapsible shelf from the wall by the headboard as a table to lay the tray with food and the hot coffee. Then she sat on her chair, at a respectable distance, rummaging inside her canvas bag in search for more suitable edibles. She felt better now, more relaxed, sipping on her own cup.
He seemed pleased with the contents of the kit, it must've been the usual.
John picked up the mirror and did a double-take on the scruffy reflection, frowned. His hair had been indeed poorly cut for the surgery, shaved on the left side only. All the new growth was uneven, messy.
"How long was I out?" he asked, outraged.
She sighed and chuckled. "Twelve days, almost thirteen."
He examined the yellowish shadow on the left side of his face, remnant of the terrible bruising he never really got to see, then put the mirror down. John didn't seem to care much about the rest of his wounds and although his left arm was still tightly bandaged, he moved like he was fine. He proceeded to spread over his lap the items of the personal care case and bit off the casing of a disposable razor, then broke a packet of shaving foam. Holding the little mirror with his wounded arm, John applied the foam all over his cheeks and his neck, nonchalantly.
Cortana blinked fast, surprised, munching on a grain bar.
"Wait, you're going to shave right now?" she asked.
"I always clean up before breakfast."
He said it like it was some sort of law.
"It's afternoon-cycle and your coffee is going to get cold." Cortana insisted.
He growled a hmm under his breath, didn't take his eyes off the mirror.
She sighed deeply and stood up, leaving her food on the chair. Cortana snatched the mirror away from him and, half-sitting on the bed with one foot down to the floor, she held it before him.
"Go on. The faster you're done, the earlier you will eat."
John nodded, face covered in a thick layer of foul-smelling foam. "Thank you."
Cortana smiled briefly and observed, amazed, the steadiness and ability of his hand to move the razor and graze the skin of his neck without slipping even a bit. In a few minutes of utter silence, he flawlessly shaved half of his face without a single drop of blood spilling. Cortana swallowed hard. Pure talent. She'd never seen anyone handle a sharp object with that level of precision. His attention was almost disturbing. Well, the Master Chief seemed to be this level of intense for everything he did, she noticed.
John didn't look at her while he worked, his eyes were always set on the mirror.
'I never imagined that watching a man shave could be so… stimulating.'
Cortana blushed a little, licked her lips discreetly. John was about to turn his head and start with the other side of his face, but he stopped and glanced at her, his eyes were sharper than the razorblades themselves.
"What's wrong?"
The fire on her cheeks intensified: "Nothing, I just… you sure know how to handle a blade, that's all. Really impressive."
John frowned a little, but continued with his work, occasionally eyeing her now.
Cortana pressed her lips together and tried to keep other things together as well, while he finished. Once it was all done, the Master Chief used the towel to remove the residue of the foam off his skin and took the mirror from her to get a better look.
Giving in to temptation, she extended her hand and grazed his cheek with her fingers, softly. He didn't startle, his eyes shot straight to hers once more and when their gazes met, Cortana felt her heart skip a beat or two. Hmmm. His skin was soft and fresh. Smooth. She carried on, tracing a line from his ear to his chin across the jaw in one single, deliberately slow motion.
The question lingered in his stare, in the way his breath hitched.
"You didn't miss any spot, I'm even more impressed." Cortana commented, at last.
You didn't even need the razors to cut the tension hanging in the air, between them…
God, she could've just kissed him. She wanted to lunge forward and kiss the shit out of him, so bad. She could see in the deep steel-blue of his eyes a similar desire. He looked at her lips briefly and Cortana was certain that he was thinking the same. This man had a habit of being bluntly direct about what he wanted, all the time.
They both needed it. It was so obvious. For fucks sake, she just had to…
'Remember when kissing him was a no-no? Me neither.' the voice sneered.
A ping on her pad startled her, bursting that tense atmosphere like a soap bubble.
John turned away, looking for the small device to cut his hair. Cortana sat back on her ass and grabbed the pad, using it to hide the deep red tainting her cheeks. She read the brief message on the screen:
"My mother is on her way."
"Doctor Halsey is here?" he asked, with thoughtful surprise.
"Yes, she was the one that..." Cortana began, but halted when she understood he didn't know everything that had happened, not since he fainted on the Pelican. "Oh, John, you… you were badly wounded, my mother herself had to be called. You were in a drug-induced coma for ten days and just got out of a massive surgery."
He nodded, rubbed his immobilized leg from above the sheet. "That explains a lot."
"What's the last thing you remember?"
John frowned slightly, as he unpacked the hair-cutter from its plastic case.
"The elevator. Your voice. A bright light. It hurt a lot and I couldn't breathe. Fred? I'm not sure. I think it was him."
She nodded, content. His memory seemed to be fine.
"I have your medical report, if you want to know more."
Cortana handed him the pad with a file open on the screen; John placed the device on his lap but didn't read just yet. He threw the towel around his shoulders and turned on the mechanical razor to cut the uneven hair all over his head and around the scarring tissue on the left side. When the Master Chief considered his personal hygiene was up to standard, he cleaned and returned all the elements to their case.
Then, he read the file. Cortana remained in silence all along, just watching him.
At some point she returned to her coffee, now cold, and the bar she'd been eating. John hadn't touched any of the food despite claiming he was hungry.
"What else did I miss?" the Chief asked, suddenly.
She let out a long-held breath and explained anything she thought he had to know, like the name of the ship they were aboard of, the decision to keep him in cold storage until her mother could come in, the current status of all operations as far as she knew. SHIELD Base was no more and she certainly wasn't in charge of anything, the research he had risked his neck for had been confiscated by ONI. She'd seen the intelligence agents that came with her mother peeking around but none of them had tried to talk to her, yet. Briefly, Cortana told him about the casualties, the possible consequences she personally could be facing as an outcome and even what could recall on Commander Locke. Not without malice, she told him all about Linda's insubordination -it made the corners of his mouth twitch slightly, she noticed- and ultimately, the way Kelly had pulled them out of the Base.
She also decided to tell him about her last conversation with Jameson Locke.
Cortana wanted him to know that Locke had suggested her to get rid of the baby. She chose to keep to herself the harsher things they said to one another -starting with his hint that he could get her pregnant next time- but made clear to John that she was done with that man, for good.
"Commander Locke and I are no longer on speaking terms." Cortana settled, bitterly.
"Good." John answered, in a growl. "He was never worthy."
Her heart thumped hard. Cortana bit her lower lip, an insane satisfaction invaded her at the sight of his controlled rage, how he was grinding his teeth under that stony face. John wasn't looking at her but at the pad's screen, he didn't try to hide his temper. How would he react if he ever crossed paths with Jameson again? Would John come out of his way to put him in his deserved place?
Oh, she would pay a fortune to see that.
Heat stirred inside her again, lazily, warming up her blood.
And John sensed it, because he gave her another of those slow side-glances…
Ah, there it was again. That impractical need to kiss him.
Her mother was on her way there, she could come in through the door any second now. That wouldn't be good for anyone, would it? Of course not. They had to snap out of it, fast. Cortana cleared her throat and stretched past him to reach the wall next to the headboard, to collect one of the many pieces of paper she had pinned there.
A little excited, she didn't miss the way John inhaled deep when she was close enough.
"By the way, the children sent this for you. They wanted to say thank you."
Cortana sat back on her place and presented him the pamphlet.
That seemed to pull him into focus, again. The Master Chief left the pad on his lap, he took his sweet time to admire the paper, not because the depiction of himself in the front of the pamphlet but to read all the colorful things written on it. The overall satisfaction of his expression made Cortana's heart flutter again, with excitement, an intense pride washed all over her. People had to acknowledge him for the hero he was, and he had to know that his efforts were appreciated.
"They are also alive because you helped." she added, a different kind of warm flooded her chest now. He nodded, then handed the paper back to her, but Cortana pushed his hand away shaking her head. "It's yours, John. They made it for you, please keep it."
He gently grasped the hand she used to push his.
Hot, rough and strong, so much bigger than her slender fingers…
Oh, no. Oh. Her heart started thumping hard in her chest yet again.
"Cortana." John started, looking into her eyes. "I know things are different now."
'No, nothing has changed, John.' she thought, but she knew what he was trying to say.
They would have to face it, sooner or later.
Her mother had been perfectly clear about what she expected of them both.
But what about what Cortana herself expected? Didn't she have a say in this?
Didn't John have a say, if anything?
'You made it so that he wouldn't, Elizabeth. You chose him precisely because of that.'
She began to shake her head, eager to challenge both him and that deceptive voice, when the Master Chief let go of her hand suddenly and sat straight, his eyes now fixed on a point of the room behind her. A few seconds later, a faint bleep sounded in the corridor and the door hissed open, startling her. Cortana hopped off the bed, whirled around.
Catherine Halsey stood on the doorway, so small yet so powerful.
x.x.x.x.x
John's stance shifted completely when he laid eyes on Halsey.
He didn't just straighten his pose, he tensed up every single muscle.
The door closed behind the Doctor, she hid her hands in the pockets of her coat.
Cortana didn't miss it. It was like he'd been in the presence of an Admiral, snapping to attention immediately. His face was calm and composed but on his neck the pulse of a vein became faster. His pupils dilated, an instinctive response of vigilance. Cortana felt a pinch of envy in her gut, it almost looked like he was happy to see her mother. Well, if she had to be purely logical about it, it made sense because Catherine Halsey had been the only lasting mother-like figure this man ever had. You could understand that he didn't consider that the painful augmentation procedures, the restrictive and over-enabling implants, the isolation, the harsh training and indoctrination that deleted the boy he once was had any weight in his perception of that woman. It showed on his face.
This made Cortana's envy turn into plain jealousy, for some reason.
She would never have with him the kind of connection John had with her mother.
"Hello, John." Halsey greeted him, with a mild smile.
"Doctor Halsey, ma'am." he answered, and saluted sharply.
"At ease, Spartan. No need for formalities now, you're not on duty." then, she looked at her daughter with a wider smile. Just a little bit wider. "Oh, Elizabeth, I was just thinking about you, it's so good that you're here."
"Hello, mother." Cortana barely tried to answer her smile.
"So, how is the patient doing? How do you feel, John?"
"A little sore."
"I can figure, you've been idle a long time. You will resume with your routine soon, I promise. We'll take care of that leg tomorrow first thing in morning-cycle."
"Thank you, ma'am."
Halsey stopped right beside him, on the other side of the bed. Her smile was soft now.
"No, John. Thank you. You saved my daughter's life. That's remarkable."
He didn't speak but looked briefly at the Doctor's face, irradiating pride.
Cortana slowly sat down on her chair, observing them with striking attention.
Halsey then extended her hand and held John's chin between her forefinger and thumb, turning his face to one side and then to the other, examining the status of the scarring tissue and stitches on his scalp, the almost vanished bruises on his skin. The most mind-boggling thing about all of this was that John let her handle him with absolute meekness, avoiding to look into her eyes for the most part.
The good Doctor nodded, humming low in appreciation.
"Yes, the scarring is smooth, on point, should be fully healed by tomorrow." she said, almost to herself. "Look up to the ceiling, John. Thank you… very good. No more allergic reactions, I see."
Cortana couldn't believe it. He was tame as a lamb in her mother's hold.
Halsey plucked her own pad out of her coat and tapped into it, making the electrodes on John's chest and temples flash with a dim blue light. He stood very still, sitting with his back very straight and his hands tangled together on his lap. Fidgeting with his thumbs. Cortana narrowed her eyes, confused. After a few minutes of reading quietly and working the screen of her pad, the Doctor nodded again.
"Any inconvenience with the implants' input feeds? Any pain or residual images?"
He shook his head. "No, ma'am."
Halsey hummed in approval, again, and put the device away back where it belonged.
"You are almost in prime condition again, John. Just a few more days."
"It's good to know, ma'am." he nodded once, relieved.
"I must thank you as well for the service you did for my daughter. Not just keeping her safe, I mean." she started, picking her words with care, as usual. "Elizabeth told me of your little… arrangement. It has been quite honorable of you to tackle down a delicate request like that, and so professionally."
It took them both a slow moment to process the meaning of those words…
Cortana bit her tongue, feeling betrayed. 'What is she doing?' the voice snarled.
He shot an alarmed look at Cortana's face, the stupid machine hanging from the ceiling gave him away again when it bleeped faster, signaling his elevated heart rate. The woman in question pressed her lips in a hard line and answered with a nod, almost imperceptible. 'It's okay. If anyone was bound to find out, it was her.'
Halsey placed a hand on the shoulder of his wounded arm, soothingly.
"I'm not disappointed on you, John." she said, with kindness. "I understand."
John remained silent for a few seconds, until he spoke again:
"It's the best you could do for yourself and humanity." he looked briefly at Cortana. "I can't disagree with a noble purpose."
'Oh, John.' she thought, hurt. 'Don't fall into her trap, please!'
She was going to handle it with a lot more subtlety, trying not to rip the bandage off so quickly, but her mother had no patience. No, this wasn't just a matter of patience or time. It was only because Halsey didn't want her precious Spartan ruined.
"Noble indeed." the Doctor agreed, casually. "And you have exceeded, as usual. I think we can consider your duty terminated now that my daughter's pregnancy is steady. Isn't that right, Elizabeth?"
"Yes." said Cortana, despite herself. "I think all parameters were properly met."
"Wonderful. All parameters met, that's fantastic."
It was only for a brief second, but she saw it: the confusion, frustration and hurt. All those violent emotions that crossed John's face at the same time. She felt like an ungrateful bitch again, not just because of this awfully uncomfortable moment, but because of all the things she wanted to say and had to hold. She wanted to explain. Her mother wouldn't let her, she figured, so she had to bite back her tongue and wait.
The size of the mess she would have to untangle, after this…
"Good." Halsey's smile turned warm. She patted his shoulder. "I assure you, John, my daughter and her baby will be very well taken care of. She will spend her days at home on Reach, with the best medical attention we can get her. If you wish so, I can arrange that you are informed about the birth."
This time, John looked back at Halsey.
Instead of hurt, there was a hint of hope in his eyes.
But before he could say anything, the Doctor added: "Oh, you seem to have misplaced your tags."
He blinked fast and took an unusually long time to answer, again:
"I… don't remember where I left them." John frowned, confused.
Another soft pat on his shoulder. "I'll put a request to get you a new set, don't worry. There will be a new armor waiting for you as well."
"Waiting for him where?" Cortana asked, suddenly, startled.
Halsey turned slowly to look at her, her eyes were cold despite the apparent smile.
"When he's discharged from medical care, of course. Spartans are needed everywhere, John will return to duty as soon as possible. Blue Team has already been assigned to a new post, they will be shipped after their proper evaluations."
She insisted, fierce: "Where are you sending him?"
"I'm not sending John anywhere, SECTION-III is. You can ask them, Elizabeth." After another short pause, the Doctor continued: "The proper transports will intercept the Spirit of Fire in a couple of days… I suggest you take this time to make peace and say goodbye."
Cortana felt the fury burn in her stomach.
'Oh, you bitch. I shouldn't have trusted you.'
"Thank you, ma'am." John said again, before Cortana could blow up.
His voice, stern and loaded with a dam's worth of restrained emotions, was still strong enough to somehow soothe her wrath. John was irritated for both of them, Cortana noticed. She bit her lower lip hard, to avoid damaging the situation any further.
"Elizabeth, make sure you return to your quarters before night-cycle bells, alright?"
She didn't say anything. Halsey didn't wait for a response.
x.x.x.x.x
"Miss Halsey, ma'am." the Master Chief started, a while after the door closed behind Halsey's fragile figure. "I suppose you're here for this, then? To say goodbye?"
Cortana would swear that she heard her own heart break, shattering into a thousand pieces. So, she was Miss Halsey again? They were back to formalities? This was her fault, entirely. She should've kissed him. She should've jumped onto the bed and kissed him just as she fantasized not only half an hour before. Perhaps, if she had done that, this moment wouldn't feel so bitter.
Perhaps she would have some string to hold on to…
"I don't…" Cortana mumbled, quietly.
What was she supposed to tell him?
'I'm not going anywhere, John. I don't want to leave.'
That was a big, big lie. Now she was a civilian with no power to advocate for him, they no longer had an official assignment going and SECTION-III dictated what happened with all Spartans. His fate was sealed. She had to think of something. ANYTHING. Anything that would hold his attention, that would show him she cared. Her mother had performed another of her numbers on him. Spartans functioned in very simple terms: they would never argue with the woman that made them into what and whom they were.
John was bound by commitment, he had sworn to defend Earth and her colonies.
And he would do what he was told. 'A well-trained dog.' like her father had said.
"It's over, then." he nodded once. "I didn't expect it to be…"
"To be what?" Cortana gasped, expectant.
"I didn't really keep the time-table in mind. It was a serious oversight on my part, ma'am. I apologize."
John wasn't looking at her.
She hated that he wasn't looking at her.
This filled her with a mixture of rage and sadness. So, Elizabeth got shoved to the back of her own mind again and Cortana stepped in. She had always known how to handle him, right? She started talking, mostly because that awful void of silence needed to be full:
"Master Chief, you think so little of me." she began, 'It's not over. We're not done with you, Chief.' the voice went wild for a moment, she tried to rein it back in and think clearly. "I was very worried about your status and been here, by your side, for days on end to make sure you didn't die. So, no. I'm not here just to say goodbye."
He seemed to relax a little, but still didn't look back at her.
"There's something else I'd like to talk to you about." Cortana added.
This time, John's eyes did turn to her, suspicious.
Oh, she was going to screw this one up well and fast, she noticed.
He didn't look happy: "What do you need?"
"I have another proposition for you." she hurried to say.
This piqued his interest. The Spartan tilted his head slightly to the side.
"SECTION-III already has a new assignment for me."
"This is an independent project. Just like the other one."
Cortana's mind searched about for something good. Each idea sounded worse than the other. Convince me to love you? Well, that already happened, and how could she give him such high hopes when tomorrow was so uncertain? Fall in love with me? No, she couldn't command him to love her. She could never command him again, for that matter, she had no longer a position of power and even if she had it, using leverage on him would be the worst thing she could do. Convince her to stay? For him to stay with her?
That last one she clung onto.
Despite all of John's willpower and courage, he didn't have the resources or the ability to fight a threat he couldn't see or touch. But maybe she did. A small plan began to form in her mind, a little epiphany. Oh God, it would be a terrifying fight. She would need a lot of self-assurance and resilience to do it all by herself, to find the way out. But she knew that, if she could rely on him, she could conquer anything.
John could give her some of that unbreakable will of his.
"I want you to be strong." she added, after a pause. "And by that, to give me strength."
Now he frowned, confused. But she had his interest, that was clear.
"What do you mean, Miss Halsey?"
Cortana said nothing, despair slowly seeping in. More flawed possibilities flew through her mind. She didn't even know how to explain it to herself, no idea what to explain, either. So, instead, Cortana approached to the head of the bed, half-climbed onto the mattress and lunged forward for a soft, chaste kiss on John's lips. He didn't snap back upon the sudden invasion of his most personal space, the Spartan wasn't afraid of her after all… why would he? No. He stood still, like made of stone. Cold. Unresponsive. Cortana took her time to indulge in the caress, although it didn't go beyond an innocent brush of skin… and it was everything they needed. She knew. She could feel it. He relaxed a little, right in the end, when she was pulling back.
"That." she said, staring into his soul, silently pleading with him to understand.
John looked stunned. She had no way to know what was going through his mind.
"Miss Halsey, I..." he started.
She closed her eyes for a second, painfully.
"You can start by never, ever calling me Miss Halsey again." her voice became severe, but her gaze remained soft. "You wouldn't fail a mission for me, would you John?"
He shook his head, probably his instinctive response to her voice of authority.
Cortana sighed, backing up just enough to sit on the bed again, one leg dangling off the edge. She had told him herself, once, that he was owned by the UNSC and therefore, she owned him. God, how could she have been such a bitch? Everyone treated him like a piece of hardware, like property. She had come close enough to see and uncover the man under the layers of armor and circuitry and still, been one of those people. She'd used him.
Cortana knew that she couldn't repair decades worth of trauma and abuse in just a few days, but at least she could show him some of the kindness he was owed. She wanted to know more, to see more, to understand more. To feel more, even if that was against every other protocol she had tried to devise in the past. She knew there was more to him than just a title, a long list of medals earned and campaigns completed.
He was a Spartan, yes, but she wanted him to be her Spartan, and hers alone.
And if it ultimately didn't work the way she intended it to, perhaps she could give him something to remember her by.
"We don't really know much about each other, do we?" Cortana began again, her voice was now gentler, more in tune with Elizabeth than with her sensual and authoritative alter-ego. "Like my mother so kindly said, these are the last days we'll be close... I would like to spend that time here with you, John. I want to know you."
"I still don't understand what the mission is." John said.
She gave him a broken smile. "It's okay. I'll let you know how you're doing. Deal?"
He was still hesitant. She thought she could understand if he refused, but…
But, then again, how many reasons did he really need to spend more time with her?
"What do you want to know?" John agreed, at last.
x.x.x.x.x
Cortana let herself fall into her bunk, in her quarters, devastated.
Yep, she had fucked up that one well and fast, indeed.
She had known that this moment would come sooner or later. In another time she had it precisely scheduled in the controlled parameters of her experiment. For a while she tried to not look forward to it too much. After that, she just chose to forget about it and ultimately, she had been childish enough to deny it's coming. He had avoided talking about it as well, which made her feel slightly hopeful for an instant.
Now the end of the line was a few days away.
Sighing deeply in the dim light-blue hue of the emergency lighting, she cursed herself.
Time was of the essence, now; it would be her most precious commodity.
God, how on all the stars and dust could she be so stupid to believe she could engage the UNSC itself, over a man? It could take years and end in nothing. She would need a very good plan, foolproof and bullshit-proof. She would need help. Influences. Probably money, too. Well, she had the money, but she knew she couldn't do it all alone. What scared her the most was that SECTION-III already had a new post programmed for the Master Chief, the perspective that he could die out there and she probably would never find out.
The possibility that he would never get to see or hold his child.
She wasn't sure if giving him hope was good or bad, either.
'It doesn't matter, I'll make it worth his while. John deserves it.'
Truth is, Cortana had no strength in her to cry anymore and that night-cycle, she slept like shit. But she felt like she deserved it, for one reason or another.
TO BE CONTINUED
I know, I know. There's laser razors in the future, probably, but this contributes to get Cortana hot and bothered, so sue me. Halsey is adamant in her quest and now so is Cortana on her own little project. Isn't it easier to just admit she loves John and she doesn't want to lose him? Well, no. It only serves him, it doesn't serve any other purpose of a future for them together, you see. Cortana has to play her cards wisely if she expects any of this to end up well for both. But be still, my heart. She is the second smartest woman in the galaxy, after all.
Also, since we had A LOT of reviewers not logged-in for the previous chapter, I can't thank you personally for your support so I'm going to do it here:
We have GUEST who is sweet enough to ask for more *you little fiend, I know your kind* and I'm gonna have to be a cruel mistress and tell you it's simply impossible for me to update more frequently. It definitely is an honor to be on your top 15, it's an honor to be in anyone's top at all and this makes the crew proud. Thank you very much for your support, I hope to see you again!
Then we have Mr. I'M UNDER 18 who is a little shit, because you know I'm trying to protect your innocent eyes. You little perv. I don't believe you're as young as you say you are, everyone knows that kids your age are playing Fortnite and not Halo, Halo is for people with class :P I'm kidding. Thank you for stopping by, but seriously, no underage readers, please!
Here comes POTATASTIC who is in a rush, don't you know I'm an evil bitch? I'm gonna make y'all wait to read those sweet words, because they will come but it will be at the right time and it will be glorious, believe me. Thank you very much for your participation, I love your enthusiasm! Hopefully you will return :3
A certain HELIOS who admits that this story almost made them cry. That's a huge achievement by itself, I aim to elicit some sort of emotion out of the audience, if I managed to entertain you I consider my job well done. Thank you for reading, please come back! :3
And last but not less important, the SOCIABLE SNAKE, who's responsible for the spike in the stats of Recompose last week, binge-reading stuff like crazy. Thank you very much for that enthusiasm as well, it's no easy feat! You deserve a cookie and my most sincere thanks, please return and let me know you're around, it's good to read your impressions!
This identified itself only as AJ and seems to be a Locke supporter… this story isn't canon-compliant exactly as you can see, some characters have been altered for narrative purposes. Locke got lucky, we needed a young, strong, sexy and well-known Spartan to make John jealous and he fits the role. Tuned him up a little, that's all. Thanks for stopping by, anyway!
Alright, that was all! Please don't forget to leave your comments on the box below, and stay tuned for next week! :) Love you all!