Chapter 20

BPOV

Getting on that plane back to Seattle had probably been one of the hardest things I'd ever done, but I knew that it was necessary.

It wasn't as if every moment that we'd spent together had been difficult. Honestly, a lot of it had been great. I loved watching him perform and could see his passion for music was still very much intact. The problem was that it was different between us now. It was in the way he spoke to me or how he'd act as if it was fine for him to be jealous and insecure, but my insecurities didn't matter.

—BtMO—

There had been challenges for us before in the form of constantly failed pregnancy tests, where I had to fight not to let myself crumble, and he had to hold us both together. Getting pregnant had turned into an obsession for me; at one point, sex had become a job, not a pleasure. It had taken a lot of tears and a lot of talking on both our parts to bring the romance and desire back into our bedroom. So, while this wasn't the first time we'd faced trials in our marriage, it felt like the hardest one yet. Learning how to function separately while remaining together wasn't a simple task.

Aside from the problems in our relationship, I wanted to feel stronger in who I was as a woman, a wife, and a soon-to-be mother. I'd even been searching for a therapist to talk to. I knew that my issues within myself ran deeper than what was going on between me and Edward. Living with my mom had left me more vulnerable than I'd realized.

Edward's biggest hurdle was learning how to balance his new career, the fame that would eventually come with it, and his family life. His goal was to figure out how to fit all of those things together into one man.

I had to give him credit; he was definitely trying. It'd only been a week, so it was hard to say if the amount of effort he was putting in would continue or if it was because it was fresh on his mind. He'd been calling me once in the morning and then again every night, and if he couldn't, he texted me. It was a vast improvement over how we'd started and left me feeling hopeful.

—BtMO—

As the next couple of weeks passed, we talked about our future and the things we thought were necessary for us to work on, but we spent a lot of our calls just chatting. It felt as if we were in the early stages of our relationship again. The part where our dates and phone calls centered on getting to know each other's likes and dislikes, along with our hopes and dreams.

Not all of our conversations were long, and that was okay too. I didn't expect him to spend every minute he wasn't on stage on the phone with me. He had obligations to the label, and I also knew that when he had the chance, he wanted to relax and have a good time with the boys. I couldn't begrudge him that, either. I had plenty of time to get together with Angela and a few other girlfriends while school was out, and he deserved his downtime.

—BtMO—

I smiled, closing my laptop as my phone rang. I grabbed it off the nightstand. "Hello?"

"Bella, baby, oh, my God."

I felt my heart in my throat, panicking that something had happened to him. "Edward? Are you okay?"

"Oh, my God," he repeated slowly, sounding stunned. "Bella, I just met Austin Marks. He was at the show. He'll be working on his next album at the beginning of the year. Bella, he asked for my number. He wants to talk about the possibility of a collaboration. Holy shit, I have Austin Marks's phone number."

I flopped back on the bed, trying to calm my racing heart after he'd scared the crap out of me. Now that I knew he was fine, I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. It was exciting news and also meant that the band's career would move in an even bigger direction than it already had. It wasn't every day that Austin Marks approached people. "Edward, that's amazing, baby!"

"I can hear that smile in your voice. I know you're excited because you think he's pretty." He chuckled, and I couldn't deny that he was at least a little right.

"Well, yeah, but it's mostly that I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, darlin'. It's surreal. This is something I hadn't expected to happen for a long time, if ever. Now tell me, how are my girls doing tonight?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes, but I was far from annoyed. "We have no clue if the baby is a boy or a girl yet, Edward. God, I wish you could be here for that." Lately, it felt as though my emotions changed on a dime. I felt the telltale lump forming in my throat. I'd thought about this moment for years, and the fact that he wouldn't be there when we found what we were having broke my heart.

"I know, mama, I'm sorry. I wish I could be there to see my daughter for the first time." He sighed, and I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Edward."

"I just have this feeling that the baby is a girl. Is my mom still going with you? Is she still mad at me?"

I snorted at that question. If I'd thought I was upset with Edward, it was almost nothing compared to how annoyed Esme was with her son. I'd forgotten to let her know that I was back early, so when she checked on the house like we'd asked her to, it was a surprise for her to find me there. I hadn't told her everything because it was between me and Edward. It was our relationship, but that didn't mean she hadn't formed her own ideas of what may have happened.

I was glad he couldn't see me as I smirked. "She's still going, and she wasn't mad at you, more like annoyed. She doesn't even know what transpired between us."

"She loves you more than she does me, and she would have blamed me even if it hadn't been my fault. Especially since you're carrying her grandchild."

I didn't want to say it, but he wasn't entirely wrong. Esme had always spoiled me, but ever since I'd been back, she'd gone overboard. If she dropped by with any more food, I'd eventually be the size of a house.

"Hey, I know you need to get to bed soon, baby, and I don't want to keep you up too late, but there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Okay…" I was sure he could hear the nerves in my voice.

"It's nothing bad, at least I don't think it is, but it's been on my mind. I don't want you to go back to work in September," he blurted out.

"What? Edward—"

"Look," he cut me off. "I know you love your job and the kids you work with, but I can take care of you now. You can stay home with the baby, or both of you can eventually come on the road with me when we tour again. Then there's the fact that you'd go back to work for what? Maybe a month, two at the most? I won't be there, and it would give me peace of mind knowing that you're not overdoing it."

"I…" I let out a heavy sigh. It was hard to argue with his logic. Being a stay at home mom had always been something I'd wanted, but I'd also worked hard for my degree and I enjoyed teaching. "Let me think about it."

"Yeah. I'd never tell you what to do, it's just something I know you've thought about, and we have that option now."

"I know, and I appreciate that you want me to have that."

And I truly did. I also loved knowing that even when I wasn't there or we weren't on the phone, he still was thinking of me; of us.

What are your thoughts on his request?