Error was riled up after Blueberry had tried to approach him. For the life of him, he couldn't contemplate why that guy would ever try and talk to him alone. They were not friends! Not after what he did. The others seemed to notice he was in a bad mood so they all slowly left. He noticed Sans went toward where had left Blueberry, where Ink probably was. He ignored Dream as he attempted to talk to him. Despite his former relationship with Nightmare, Error had no issue with Dream. In fact, right now, he owed him for taking care of Jewel. Not that he would ever admit it.
He couldn't think about it now anyway. Finally, with Red and Dream having left, this was the moment he had been waiting for. Jewel was healed, and finally, there were no eyes on him. He had been preparing to do this since he had to rely on Ink to bring her here. Still, the thought of it terrified him. He opened a portal back to the anti-void, and as carefully as he could in his panic, scooped Jewel up in his arms. She was so much larger than he was, it was awkward, even with her somewhat folded in the bridal-style carry he had her in. He quickly ducked through his portal, closing it behind him. He was severely glitching, barely able to hold her. To his credit, however, he didn't drop her, and carefully laid her down on the ground before utterly flipping out.
"Holy fuck! I can't believe I did that!" he screamed, shaking, glitching, barely holding himself together.
It surprised him that he managed to do it at all. He had been terrified of the fact since the idea first crossed his mind. But something in him knew that she wouldn't be able to handle the onslaught of questions and people in her face when she woke up… He didn't care if they were mad at him, the only person he cared about was Jewel. It should be obvious, he fucking carried her! That was way more than just a handhold or a shoulder touch! He had her in his arms, held against his chest and it… he put a hand over his soul, feeling it still humming intensely. His glitching was slowing down as he listened to it… at first, he thought it was fear… which was still wildly coursing through him, no doubt… but he felt his cheeks dust with a light blue color. Holding her that close… despite how terrifying it was… Maybe she wasn't wrong…
It took another day for Jewel to wake up. At least, that's what it felt like to Error. He hadn't left her side, so the second her eyes started to flutter open, he was hovering over her.
"Jewel!" he called out in relief. "Don't move around so much, take it slow," he told her, his hands hovering, shaking. He would push her down if he had to, the thought alone, however…
Jewel barely moved, seeing him so close. She did feel something on her, but she couldn't even move her head without risking bumping into him.
"Error, I'm fine," she said with a tired smile.
He saw how tired she still looked. That worried him. "You don't… look fine," he said softly.
"Using my words against me?" she teased, smiling a little brighter at him, causing him to chuckle a little. But the small smile she forced onto his face quickly fell and he started to shake. "Error?" Despite his closeness, she managed to slowly rise without bumping into him, catching him off guard.
"Jewel, you... you shouldn't be moving," he tried.
"Error, I'm fine. Injuries are healed."
"Then why are you so…"
"I'm exhausted, numbskull," she teased, smiling at him. "C'mon, you know… well, maybe not you," she chuckled. "You have way more magic than most monsters I've seen. But you know how it goes, right? Using too much. I'm much more human than I want to admit right now."
"What do you mean?" he questioned, backing off a little to let her sit up, at her insistence.
She noticed she was being covered with his coat, noting the rip in the sleeve and everything started coming back to her. She looked him over, her brow furrowing in worry. "Error, when was the last time you slept? You look exhausted."
"I'm not important."
"Yes, you are!" she barked, making him blink and back up a little. She realized that she made him flinch and she pulled back. "Stop… sounding like me…"
Error stared at her a moment before he moved a bit closer, surprising her as he sat as close as he could without touching her. "Jewel, my injuries weren't life-threatening. Besides, they're gone."
"Because Ink took advantage of you," she scoffed a little.
Error blinked, a blush starting to creep on his face not only for what she said but the way she said it. "W-what are you talking about?"
"You know my situation, I wasn't in a coma. I can still hear you guys."
His blush darkened. "I-I wasn't aware of that…"
"It's… difficult, sometimes, I'll admit," she said softly. "It's like you're underwater and trying to listen in. But you," she looked back up at him, chuckling. "When you screamed for Ink, it was kind of hard to not listen in. Not that you said much… but I remember hearing you protest his help so…"
So she put two and two together… not that it was hard. He sighed and rubbed his arm. "I'm sorry… I didn't…"
"No, I get it," she said softly, smiling a bit at him. "Trying to punish yourself, right? Error, what happened wasn't your fault."
He couldn't help himself. Listening to her say that, after everything… "Of course it was," his voice was soft as he turned his head away from her. "If it wasn't for me, neither of us would have been in that situation. If I had just… talked to you instead of running away…"
"Error…" she wanted so desperately to reach out and touch him right then.
Tears lined his eyes as he looked back at her. "All I do is hurt you! Why do you keep coming back for me?" he demanded.
"Because, you're my best friend. I care about you," she said softly.
"You shouldn't!" he barked, the tears finally falling. "I'm a murder! I destroy worlds! I can't be a good friend, Jewel! I can't… I can't even..!" He clenched his eyes shut and held his head. "I didn't mean it," he sobbed. "I didn't want to hurt you…"
"Error, if you're talking about when I came back… I know that. I don't know why, but I knew you weren't in control."
"Why didn't you run?!"
"Because I couldn't leave you, Error. Not like that."
It took them both by surprise. Error launched forward and grabbed onto her tightly, glitching heavily as he wrapped his arms around her, squeezing with everything he had. Jewel had barely caught herself as he clung to her. She was breathless, but she couldn't help herself. He made the first move. She wrapped an arm around him, the other holding them up as he leaned completely into her.
"I thought I got you killed," he sobbed. "I was ready to die then you showed up and…"
"Ssshh. Error, it's okay."
"No, it's not," he squeezed her tighter. "I was so scared I couldn't let go of you."
"Like now, huh?" she smiled a little and adjusted herself to hold onto him with both arms. "Let me know if this gets to be too much, okay?"
"I'm freaking out," he admitted, half laughing, "But I don't want to let go. I don't…ever want to let go! You don't know how bad it hurt!" His glitching intensified. "Classic convinced me to sleep. After I woke up, I couldn't… I couldn't hold your hand anymore. I wanted to, but I..!"
Jewel slowly pulled him back, which confused him. This was what she wanted, right? He finally was doing it, he wanted to do it, but she pulled him away from her? He flinched a little when he felt her hands on his cheeks, glitching more but he managed to look at her.
"Error, I'm not going anywhere. But I don't want you to hurt yourself by forcing yourself to do this because of me. There's time for you to work through this, okay? As much as I love the thought of being able to hug you when you need it, I don't want you to go through any panic because of me."
He felt her wipe the tears from his face and he held her hands as they caressed his cheeks. He had to admit, this was a lot easier to deal with. He took a couple of deep breaths, leaning into her touch a bit. He was still terrified of all of this, but it was her… he was trying to focus on that…
"Error," he heard after a moment, "Look at me."
He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She was smiling down at him and he couldn't help the dusting of blue that decided to cover his cheeks. This was the most intimate he had been with anyone. She was the only he one had touched and she was trying to be careful with him, even when he wasn't careful with himself.
"I promise, I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to hurt you, and I'll do everything to protect you."
"Because you're my best friend," he finished with her, causing her to blink and blush a little.
"Finally got you," he smiled a little before he finally reached his limit. He slowly pulled her hands from his face and shook, trembling as he let her go.
Jewel smiled a little at him. "I suppose you did. By the way," she started, still smiling. "I really owe you."
"For what?" he asked, a brow raised as his glitching started to calm down.
"For pulling me out of there. I'm really not in the right mindset to be handling all of those people. Just the thought of it… well, if I could glitch I'd probably be like you right now," she smiled at him.
Error chuckled a little, the joke allowing him to calm down a little more. "I-I know," he said, unable to help the stutter as a glitch took over his voice-box for a second. "Given that Blueberry and Dream were there…"
Jewel smiled at him. "You're a prince."
Error felt his face flush and he glanced away. "Jewel… please… you know I'm not."
Jewel chuckled a little, but she was really feeling all of that. She sighed a little and slowly stood up. Error turned when he heard her shifting and paled a little seeing her stand up.
"Jewel, you shouldn't push yourself!"
"Error, relax," she smiled down at him before snapping a bed into reality. She sat down on the edge of it, letting out a relieved sigh.
Error looked at her worriedly. "Are you hurting?" he asked, realizing that if she was… he just literally grabbed and squeezed with all his might. He started to pale and pulled back a little. He couldn't stop hurting her! Even when just hugging her!
Jewel grabbed his wrist as he was about to back himself into a corner. He glitched but looked down at her, surprised. "Error, don't. Don't even go there," she said as if knowing what was running through his head. She let him go and patted the bed next to her. As he moved to sit, listening to her silent command, she smiled at him. "Don't read too much into it. You don't have muscles, so I don't expect you to understand how stiff a human would get from not moving for so long," she chuckled.
Error didn't find the humor in it. "Jewel, you act like nothing bothers you. Hell, you acted like being burned by Nightmare was nothing… whenever I… Please, tell me you're not holding back for my sake."
Jewel blinked a little. Guess he was more observant than she gave him credit for… She sighed a little, rubbing the back of her neck. "You want me to be honest with you?"
"Yes!" he answered incredulously.
She let out a heavy sigh. "All right… but… please," she said, turning to him. "Don't treat me like I'm made of glass. I can't stand that…"
Error looked at her, confused. "Jewel, you're one of the strongest people I know. Why would I…" he then started to realize, "How often are you lying about your pain?"
"I don't, not really. I… really don't feel a lot of it," she admitted. "But it's not because I'm strong or anything..." Another heavy sigh escaped from her lips. "I was born with this condition, Error… I don't expect a bunch of monsters to understand it, humans barely do. Basically, it's a chronic pain disease, humans have no idea what's causing it, just a bunch of theories. It didn't start flaring up until I was a teenager, but I've had it since I was born. Just the slightest touch would send waves of pain through me on a bad day. So believe me when I say I get the whole no-touching thing," she tried with a little bit of a smile.
Error stared at her, trying to process this. "You… you're in pain all the time?" he realized.
"Normally, no," she admitted. "My magic… it… well…" she sighed. "I didn't really mess with it much growing up. I mean, hell, I didn't know I had any until I was about eight and that was a trip, let me tell you…" she muttered. "But over the years, despite… well…" she tried to think back. "You remember when I said I had two types of magic, right?"
Error looked a little confused at the sudden change in topic. "You said you had two specialties in defensive and two in offensive. Not different kinds of magic," he clarified.
"Well, technically…" Jewel chuckled a little, "My defensive and offensive magic are different types. As different as black and white…"
Error looked at her confused, before remembering… "The black and white crystals… the karma you keep mentioning…"
"Yeah, sort of…" she smiled a little. "See, knew you could put that together," she nudged him a little, making him glitch a bit. She had to stop taking advantage of his lack of anger with her right now. "My magic is… weird, to say the least."
"I'll say. Dream said positivity was charging it."
She blinked a little, turning to him. "Wait, what?" she paled a little.
"Positivity… you're like Dream, your magic was fueled by positive emotions."
"No, no…" she said, backing a little and paling at the implications that now laid out. "It's… not quite like that…"
"Jewel… are you okay?"
"No, I'm not," she said, shaking a little. "There's a reason I'm vague about all this, Error. I can't… not again," she said, holding her head.
Error's gaze softened and he leaned in, gently putting his hands on her shoulders, glitching like crazy in the process. He was doing this too much, but seeing her suddenly afraid… "Jewel… it's okay. I'm here, I'll help… but I need to know what's going on…"
"Error…" she said softly. "I love that you're trying to be affectionate right now… but this isn't helping either of us," she said, looking up at him. "It… hurts… please…"
Error pulled his hands back, eyes widening a little. "I-I thought…"
She sighed a little. "It's because I'm out of magic," she explained. "I've been… experimenting for years with my magic and I found a way to… well… not be so human anymore," she explained. "Not in the way you see humans anyway. All weak and squishy… It's dangerous as hell, so I started off really small… it's still relatively small… but I've managed to mix my offensive and defensive magicks together. They're never meant to touch and if I try and use too much at once, my soul wouldn't be able to take it. But I've been working on it, building up resistances, getting used to doing it… It's why I can heal quicker and use the black smoke at the same time… it's also why I'm faster, stronger… It's all my magic, Error. Without it, I'm a pathetic little blob of pain and misery," she laughed hollowly, eyes tearing up.
"So… you… combine these magicks and that's what keeps you from feeling the pain?" he asked.
"Yeah…" she admitted softly. "I used too much magic. My offensive magic is… kind of still there, but a lot of it was used to keep me… ya know, alive. I could fight, technically, but I… hate using it. I prefer to just fight hand-to-hand so I don't have to… just using what I mix so I don't…"
Error was silent for a moment, before standing up. "I'll go find Dream," he then said. "If he can help-"
"No!"
Error was surprised by how quickly she shot the idea down, turning to face her. The tone in her voice startled him. He had never really known her to lash out, but the look of fear in her eyes… "Jewel, I can't help you here! I'm not a positive person, I can't-!"
"Well, for starters, it's not what you think!" she barked at him.
"What do you mean?"
Jewel sighed softly, motioning for him to sit back down. He hesitated, but he listened.
"It's… just not… I'm an empath, remember? All my magic is emotion-based. Remember, the crystals I use are based on emotions too. Every kind of emotion causes them. But Dream… he's like Nightmare, right? I remember him telling Ink to give his brother his regards…"
"Yeah…" Error said softly. "They feed on emotions while spreading their respective ones. Dream tries to spread positivity while Nightmare spreads negativity."
"And remember, Nightmare was feeding off of me… I'm hardly…" she said softly.
"But Dream said it was like…"
Jewel sighed a little. "Can you handle not knowing?" she asked.
"Jewel, I'm tired of being in the dark. If I had known more about all of this, I could have helped heal you faster, you wouldn't be as exhausted."
Jewel's eyes narrowed a bit. "What… did you tell them?"
Error's eyes widened. That look was… not what he expected. "Jewel, I didn't tell them anything! I did… tell Dream a little, but only because he was confused about how to help you! I swear, I only told him that… you were in your soul and everything was amplified. You can't… I was lost, Jewel! I can't heal you, Classic and Thirteen weren't doing much! Dream was the only one making any progress! But he was afraid to try after Classic told him about Nightmare! I couldn't..!"
Jewel watched him for a moment as he defended himself before she let out a sigh. "Guess I can't argue that point too much…" She paused, leaving the silence between them for a moment. "Thank you… for not blurting it out…"
"I get it, Jewel," he said softly. "I just… I really thought hard about telling him. Second-guessing myself the whole way. I know you… what you said was personal and private… I'm surprised you told me…"
"I trust you, Error."
"But why? I keep attacking you, Jewel! And I know you see it too! I was there at Classic's! I heard you!"
"Dude, you have red flags all over the place, but it's not a deal-breaker," she defended. "And obviously you didn't stay long enough. I ripped into Sans for those comments. Besides, he puts words in my mouth more than you do. You're willing to listen, and you care. That's enough for me to want to work through it with you."
"Why do you want to?" he asked, his voice softer as a whisper.
Jewel sighed a little, moving into the bed. It caught Error by surprise. Was she going to sleep again? Was she going to avoid this whole thing? He was visibly getting upset at the mere thought, but his attention snapped back when Jewel patted the bed next to her.
"I can't sit up anymore. Lay down with me."
His face flushed a little. He had laid with her before… on the ground… this was… "I-I thought you didn't want to be touched."
"There's enough room to lay down and not touch," she said softly. "Besides, you look as tired as I feel."
Error was exhausted, he knew that. But if he laid down, he'd succumb. "Not until you explain all of this, Jewel! I'm tired of being in the dark!"
"Says the dude who tried pushing me away."
Error froze. "Y-you heard that?"
"No. I saw it," she said softly. "Because I've been there," she sighed a little before reaching out, placing her hand near his on the bed, but not touching him. "I was like you, remember? I've told you this before… but I suppose I owe you a little more detail…" She closed her eyes. "I used to kill people too. Mostly in self-defense at the start, but… well… I was a little bitchy punk as a kid. After my magic started manifesting, I got really dark. I finally realized I had a way to get back at those who pissed me off. I fought people for the sake of fighting. I used my magic for all kinds of shit… mostly just petty bullcrap, but… one day there was this kid… my age, but… eh… I accidentally saved him. He pissed off this gang and I fought them because… well, why the fuck not? That and they thought they could push me around. Didn't even need to pull out my magic, they were pretty pathetic… He hung around me like a little lost puppy. Nothing I did could shake him. I started seeing him everywhere I went and eventually he got me to talk to him… we became friends and he actually knew a lot about magic. Wound up helping me figure out what mine was, helping me learn more about it, control it better… not bad for only a few months."
Error listened, seeing the similarities. "So he… saw the good in you?" he asked.
"Heh, I don't know about that. There wasn't much good in me at that point… but I suppose," she held a small smile. "He stuck to me so I didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't just run away and be rid of him. He stuck around."
"You picked up a few of his annoying habits then," Error smirked down at her.
"Ha, yeah, I suppose… he took a chance on me, despite all the red flags… hell, I was covered in blood after that fight and it didn't deter him… maybe it was his downfall in the end…"
Error didn't like the sound of that. "Did you…"
"Me? No… well, not directly," she sighed. "See, I had enemies… and it… caught up to me. He got killed because of me… not directly by my hand, but…" She opened her eyes slowly. "It's a pattern with me, Error. People I get close to get hurt… either by me or… whatever. That's what I'm most afraid of… and you… you're already hurting because of me…"
Error felt his soul twist in his ribcage. "Jewel, you're not hurting me!"
"Really?" she looked back up at him. "You ran off and nearly got killed because you overheard me and Classic. Even if it wasn't the whole conversation, it was enough to make you not care if you died."
"Of course I care if I die! I just… accepted the loss. If it wasn't for you I…" he sighed and moved in to lay beside her. "Jewel… I'm just… confused…" he admitted softly. "I care about you, I know that… you're… my best friend, the only one I have. I don't deserve the kindness you show me… and you're right, I tried to push you away… I thought I had to… to protect you. I kept… getting these nightmares where I would…" he flinched as another image came into his mind.
"Those are normal, Error," she said, making him look at her, confused. "I had those too, for the longest time. I still do… It doesn't mean you're going to do them… you're afraid of it happening."
"But… I would… flash and then see my hand near your neck…" he admitted guiltily.
"Your body was reacting to the image. It wasn't a sign of intent. It's scary, I know…"
Error thought about it, before his hand went to the necklace, holding it. "Then can you… can you explain… why this hurt?" he asked softly, looking at her.
"Hurt… how?"
"I… I saw you," he started softly, "In UnderFell. With Thirteen, Classic and Ink… watching you chase each other around… it started glowing and it just… kept hurting… but I… I couldn't… at the same time, I needed it… I don't…"
He flinched a little as Jewel put her hand over his, but he managed to not glitch as badly as he thought he was going to, especially since he didn't expect it.
"Error… I'm sorry. You told me to go spend time with Classic and… well, I went there because Ink and Sans were pressuring me into the whole friend thing again. I… gave in, and Red… well… he helped me before, after our fight. He was the Sans I ran into. We talked and he helped me calm down. He was the closest thing I had to a friend other than you and well… you know, what you saw us doing… that was chocolate frosting. I was making you cupcakes."
Error blinked, blushing a little. "W-what?"
"I knew what you were doing. You were pushing me away, you were acting weird… I've been there, remember? I just… wanted you to know that you were appreciated. You don't have to open up to me if you're not comfortable. But… I'm here…"
Error couldn't help the tears that welled up in his eyes. "Damn it…" he leaned in, his forehead meeting her hand. "I… I just hurt… so badly after that… I… I couldn't… I lashed out at everything… it was…"
"Why you were in that state," she realized, her hand going up and gently wiping his tears away.
"I… I felt betrayed… but it didn't make sense… I told you to hang out with Classic," he admitted. "It hurt… so much… to see you having fun with them…"
"Error…" she called and he slowly looked up at her, "Just because I have other friends doesn't mean I'm going to leave you. I'm never going to leave you."
"I-I thought… if I pushed you away and you made the choice for me… it wouldn't… I could blame you and be done with it… that I could protect you… but I… I…"
"Never works out that way, does it?" she smiled softly at him.
"How are you not mad at me? I put you through all of this…"
"Error, I've been there. I know what it's like to go through it. Believe it or not, it does help to be on the receiving end."
"It doesn't… it doesn't feel like enough…"
"It doesn't have to make sense, Error. We're people, not math," she grinned a little at him. "Things happen that just don't make sense. We feel what we feel, and it's valid. No matter if it makes sense or not. You don't have to understand it, Error. Just know… I forgive you, and I've never blamed you."
He tightly gripped the hand that was around his. It was strange… he was becoming numb to the fear… it was still there, but he was craving her touch more. He didn't know why… but he knew it would disappear, this confidence.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, before he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I know you said no touching but I… I can't… not when I'm finally able…"
Jewel blinked a little. He gripped in the wrong spot, and it did hurt… but she could understand what he was saying. She let out a soft sigh with a smile. "Okay," she said softly but put a hand on his arm. "Then move a little," she said, guiding his arm. "We'll make it work. Just don't squeeze too hard, okay?"
Error moved as she advised, but he wasn't able to not squeeze her. His head was right underneath hers, his tears getting lost in the fabric of her thick shirt. Luckily, he wasn't putting pressure in the wrong spots, so she was able to bear it easily. She, in turn, wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. She could hear the small hitches in his breathing.
"You should get some sleep," she told him.
"If I do, I'll lose this… I don't… want to let go…"
"Error… this is never going anywhere," she promised. "I'll be here. One day, you'll be able to do this without freaking out. And I'll be here to experiment all you want."
"Just… let me enjoy it for a while then," he said softly.
She chuckled softly. "Of course… though it's strange to hear you say it."
He blushed a little. "You… were right," he said softly. "It… it does help…"
Jewel smiled a little and leaned into the hug. "It really does…"
Error felt himself relax a little in her embrace. Tension he hadn't realized he was carrying was melting as he felt a warmth he hadn't been able to get before. How much had he missed out on because of his fear? But as he closed his eyes, he picked up on a faint thumping. Confused, he looked around.
"Hm? What is it?" Jewel asked, having almost fallen asleep with him like that.
"You don't hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"Some… weird noise. I can't hear it anymore…"
She blinked, then chuckled a little. "Oh, when you were against my chest?"
He looked at her, confused. "You make weird sounds?"
She laughed a little, smiling. "Humans do. We're more mechanical than you'd think. Was it thumping? Like bum-bump?"
"Yeah! You know what it is?"
She chuckled. "Yeah. That's my heart."
"…heart?" he rose a brow.
"It's… well, for humans, it's like a… physical soul, I suppose. We can't live without it. Humans are weird machines and we have all these intricate parts. If one fails, sometimes we can move on, others… not so much."
"So… what does it do?" he asked, now curious.
"Well, the heart's job is to circulate blood through the body. It's essentially a strong pump, hence the sound. It's housed with the lungs right here," she said, putting her hand over her chest, "in my ribcage. The lungs oxygenate the blood and the heart pumps it through the body so my muscles and everything else has the energy it needs to work right."
Error rose a brow. "Sounds overly complicated."
Jewel laughed a little. "It really is. But eh. You just need to know so long as it's beating, I'm alive."
Error slowly put his head back down, focusing on the sound as his earhole pressed against her chest. "It's so loud…"
"That's because you're practically on top of it," she chuckled.
It was strange to hear how her voice changed when he had his ear to her chest, how the laugh sounded… everything… "Do you not hear it?"
"Not really. I mean, when I get a migraine it's like I can. I feel it mostly, through my pulse. It's this weird system we got," she chuckled softly. "But sometimes, when my heart's racing, sometimes it's like it's pounding in my ears so… sort of?"
"What would make your heart race?"
"Heavy exercise, fear… a few things."
Error focused on listening to it for a while, that steady beat… "I could… get used to this…"
Jewel chuckled softly. "Oh, now you want to be my sleeping buddy?"
He blushed, closing his eyes. "Oh shut up…" he muttered. "I'm… I'm tired…" he admitted softly. "But… there's a lot more I need to talk to you about…"
"I know," she said softly, gently stroking his skull. "But, I'll be here. We can talk about it when we're more rested."
"Promise? No more holding back?"
"I promise I'll try. There are things I don't like to talk about… but I'll try for you, okay?"
"I can live with that," he said softly as he started to drift off against her.