Trigger Warning: cutting

Chapter 16-alex's pov

School was ok this week I guess. John was oh edge the whole week and I think he slept close to as little as me. The first two days he tried to sleep by himself but he either had a nightmare or he was too nervous to sleep so he came into my room and asked me to sleep with him. Due to the fact that I didn't want to keep him awake, I got a lot more sleep than usual(given that I usually get 3-4 hours), so I should probably thank him for that. He went with Peggy and Maria to babysit his siblings every day after school and usually left over an hour before Henry got home on normal days. According to him, his siblings are fine and I had to take his word for it since I was searching for a job to save money for college.

Now it was Sunday. When I woke up, John was sleeping peacefully, right next to me. Then I looked at the clock, it was 5 in the morning. I guess I really wasn't used to sleeping this much, I must have slept at least 5 hours every day that John has been here. I got out of bed as quietly as possible and by some miracle, John stayed asleep. I sat at my desk which was in the furthest corner of my room and continued writing my essays(the one for John and some class assignments that I want to get ahead on). By some other miracles, the clicking of my typing and the light from my computer didn't wake up John. Eventually, he woke up at 8:47 a.m.

"Hey Alex?" a sleepy voice asked.

"So you finally woke up," I said to my boyfriend that might have fallen back asleep.

"What? Oh yeah. How the fuck do you survive on so little sleep?" he asked.

"Coffee and I usually sleep a lot less than this," I informed him.

"Coffee sounds magical..." he mumbled.

"Nope, caffeine is," I said while thinking about how much I needed coffee right now.

"Nope, you are," he said.

"Thanks, now, why don't you wake up and I'll make some coffee," I said with a laugh.

"Are you sure caffeine is a good substitute for sleep?" he asked. I pretend not to hear him since I have already had this argument with Aaron a few times.

Once both John and I had gotten ready for the day and had breakfast and coffee, he dragged me to his car which he had gotten from his house when he went back for his clothes and school stuff.

"C'mon Alex!" John called out from the hallway.

"Where do you want me to go?" I asked from my desk.

"Come to my car, I'll tell you later," he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Can't say," he said. I needed a reason and if it was to do something with our friends, I was in a less social mood and would rather write essays all day.

"I need a reason. I don't want to do anything with people, I just want to do this," I said.

"It's not a social gathering, don't worry," he said. Then he came into my room and physically dragged(well more like carried) me out of my room and to his car. When we got out, we were at a trailhead. A hike.

"Exercise?" I asked.

"Exercise is good, but don't worry, there is a real reason," he assured me. We hiked and talked about life and other stuff(very specific). We saw a lizard about 20 minutes in and he tried to catch it but instead, chased it into a hole. Eventually we came to a stop in the trail. He took a blanket and bag out of his bag.

"It's a picnic!" he said excitedly.

"Yay food!" I said, matching his enthusiasm.

"Sure. Let's eat and then I have to show you something." he said.

"More mystery?" I asked.

"I like mysteries and thought that maybe you would find it fun," he explained.

"It's very fun, thank you for planning it even though your life is pretty confusing right now," I said.

"I would say you're welcome but I think I'll kiss you instead," he said right before we kissed.

After we finished writing, he showed me a clump of boulders and told me to climb them. I can't climb well and this was proven today. After barely making it up the rock pile, we sat next to each other on the highest part. The view was beautiful.

"Holy shit," was all I could say.

"You like the view?" he asked.

"It's beautiful, I love it," I said.

"I could say the same thing about you," he said.

"I will say the same thing about you. You are beautiful and I love you. Thank you for today," I said.

We stayed up on the rocks, holding hands until sunset. It was the perfect place to watch a sunset. We left after taking a few pictures to remember today.

john's pov

The date was amazing and I wanted it to never end, but eventually it did since neither of us wanted to hike back in the darkness of way too late into the night.

We drove home and his parents were waiting for us at the door.

"Hi Alex, John," they said.

"Hi," Alex and I both said.

"Did we do something wrong?" Alex asked.

"No, but we need to talk," Mr. Washington said. This wasn't exactly something I wanted to hear from my boyfriend's parents so I was terrified.

"Ok," Alex said. We all went into the kitchen and sat around the table. Alex grabbed my hand, which I was thankful for.

"You know how I contacted CPS?" Mr. Washington asked us.

"Yes, thank you," I replied.

"Well today they checked your house, siblings, and father," Mr. Washington informed us.

"What happened to them?" I asked.

"Nothing," Mr Washington said.

"What?" Both Alex and I asked, shocked.

"They said everything appeared to be fine," Mrs. Washington said.

"And they can't do anything unless something is wrong. They thinking nothing's wrong," Mr. Washingotn said.

"What can I do then?" I asked.

"If your siblings are truly fine, then we just have to figure out what to do with you. You can stay here for now, so don't worry," Mr. Washington said.

"Ok, thank you," I said and then walked away from the table. I grabbed my pencil sharpener from my backpack and tried to take it apart. Alex chose that exact moment to walk in.

"Hey, are you okay? Wait what are you doing?" Alex asked. Shit.

"Nothing," I said while holding my pencil sharpener in one hand and the razor part in the other.

"No. No, that is mine now and you can use mechanical pencils." Alex said forcefully as he stole my razor and (now just a piece of plastic) pencil sharpener.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"You're not, you're only sorry that I caught you. Talk to me. Why do you want to cut?" Alex asked calmly.

"Henry," I said.

"Next time talk to me about it then," he said.

"I don't want to be more of a pain than I already am," I said.

"You're not a pain, I'm your boyfriend, and you can talk to me whenever you want to about anything. But if you aren't going to talk to me talk to someone or find another way to cope but no cutting," he said forcefully.

"I don't have coping mechanisms other than cut and suppress," I informed him.

"Try this," he handed me a pen.

"What?" I questioned.

"A pen, you draw on yourself," he said, still not giving me a good explanation.

"What?" I akse again.

"I'm going to assume that you cut as a distraction from reality?" he asked.

"Yeah, and sometimes as a punishment when I mess up," I said.

"Well you don't need to punish yourself. Please don't, you're amazing. And the drawing will serve as a distraction just as good as the cutting will. You still have to talk to someone though," he said.

"I went to the school counselor this week," I said.

"And did you tell her anything?" he asked?

"Not really," I said.

"Then talk to someone that you know and trust. If you can't talk to me, talk to Peggy or Herc or Laf or someone," he suggested.

"We are talking about it right now," I said. Then my phone rang. I picked up since it was Martha. At first I could only hear crying.

"Martha? What happened," I asked, even more terrified than before.

"I-I" she said.

"Did dad do something?" I asked softly.

"N-no. I-it's not th-that. I-I'm queer a-and I don't want d-dad to h-hurt me too," she said, sobbing. Shit.

"We can talk in person on Monday but-" I asked.

"I h-have t-to go," she said.

Word Count: 1491

A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed that! I'm so sorry for and prior plotholes and any that appear in the future. I don't have much to say so have a great morning/noon/night and a gay day!