Jessica didn't want to have this conversation with Lauren. But Angela grew red as a tomato when anything beyond a PG rating was discussed and Jessica would rather jump off the cliff at La Push than discuss sex with her mom. Her only option was to talk to Lauren for advice. She wasn't sure about taking the next step with Edward who always kept his hands strictly at her waist when they would make out and seemed oblivious to any of her hints despite the telepathy.

Lauren was recovering from the full moon that weekend and would be at her house. Jessica was in luck because Jacob wasn't skulking around and Angela wasn't hovering over Lauren like a mother hen. Lauren let her in and the blonde went back to the couch where she had been resting. There was an empty bowl and a half-empty mug of ginger ale on the coffee table.

Jessica took a seat on the couch by Lauren's feet. She told her friend about the situation. Lauren listened and uncharacteristically let her finish without interrupting her. Jessica tried not to blush. She wasn't a virgin for Pete's sake.

Lauren reached for the mug of ginger ale and asked, glibly, "Can Cullen even have sex?"

Jessica sputtered. "Of course he can…I think. He's undead, not dead."

"I don't know how it works with vampires," the blonde replied, "For all we know it's all just biting and playing piano by candlelight."

"You've watched too much Interview with the Vampire," Jessica pointed out. "His living with three married couples and he's mentioned how uncomfortable that gets."

"Being the only one not having sex in the vampire cave?"

"Every time I try anything he stops me and just wants to talk about a dead poet," she griped. "I want orgasms, not literary discussions."

"Maybe they're the same thing to him. Maybe he's asexual," Lauren sipped her mug. "Have you tried to talk to him about it?"

"He's a literal mind-reader!"

"He's still a guy."

Jessica slumped against the couch cushions and voiced out her real concern. "Maybe he doesn't find me attractive."

Edward was so aesthetically pleasing, it was ridiculous. There were some moments she found herself just wanting to stare at him until she snapped out of it and remembered that he was still the same nerd who got mad when people dog-eared books. She still couldn't ignore the fact that they must look mismatched together. She noticed their classmates staring at them and wondering why of all people Edward Cullen decided to date that it was just plain old Jessica Stanley.

Lauren scoffed. "I'm not Cullen's biggest fan but he doesn't seem the type to date anyone he doesn't feel anything for. He stalked you cause he wanted to know where you were all the time. When you were ignoring him at school, he walked around like you shot his dog."

She remembered when he confessed his feelings to her. I hate it when you ignore me. He told her he loved her frequently. And he put up with all of her teasing. He did care for her but did he want to be intimate with her?

"You know what I think?" Lauren said. "You should just be up front and ask him if he wants to have sex with you. Or wait in bed wearing sexy lingerie. Or mentally assault him with porn or something. Whatever works."

Jessica did not like any of her ideas. She was sure Edward would freak out and run away or worse he would laugh at her. Like the sight of her naked body might make him wish he did die of the Spanish flu. Or make him realize he wasn't even into women at all.

She groaned. "You suck at giving advice."

Lauren shrugged. "That's Weber's forte. I'm better at stating uncomfortable truths."

Jessica had a plan. She realized how difficult it was to surprise a telepath but after some advice from Alice, she was doing a good job of keeping Edward in the dark. She had been mentally thinking about Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up every time he was near and he gave her confused looks all week long. She had done some shopping and the day finally came to execute her plan.

Thursday morning she arrived to school dressed in a green dress, green leggings, and a pair of green suede boots she got on sale. She was getting some looks but she ignored them as she made her way to where Edward was standing by his locker. He raised his eyebrows at the sight of her.

"Top of the morning to ya, Eddie!" she exclaimed in a very poor imitation of an Irish accent. "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"

He gaped at her. "What?"

"You're half-Irish!" she replied. "We should be celebrating your heritage today. I would've gotten you green beer but since you don't drink that…"

She reached into her bag and pulled out the green leprechaun hat she found at the Dollar Plus store. She showed it off like she was one of those Deal or No Deal girls. "You like?"

He stared at her, bemused. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome!" She reached up and put it on his head. "There. Your Irish-ness is becoming more apparent."

He sighed but didn't take off the hat. He asked sarcastically, "Should I attempt river dancing as well?"

"If you like," Jessica reached into her backpack again and pulled out a green t-shirt. She had to make a guess at his size. "This is for you so we can match."

He took off the leprechaun hat. "I'm not putting that on, Jessica."

"But I got dressed up for you," she countered. "And I went out of my way to find us outfits. It's too bad the nearest parade is in D.C. cause I would've dragged you there too."

"Yes, too bad we can't go," He sighed deeply and took the green shirt. "I am only doing this because I love you."

"Yay!" She wrapped her arms around him a hug. "Happy St. Patrick's Day."

Despite himself, he was smiling. "Happy St. Patrick's Day."

They got stares from everyone. Jasper had stopped and stared at them for a full minute before bursting out into laughter much to everyone's shock. No one had ever seen him smile before let alone laugh. Alice had to drag him away as Edward looked like he was ready to behead his brother.

Her friends had teased them but Jessica grinned and bore it. This wasn't about them. Those little shits. And this was all part of her plan so they could suck it.

She discarded the green clothes when she got home and nervously tidied up her room. Banishing Sunny to the living room, she lighted candles. She had considered playing music but that might attract her mom's attention so she had to forgo the ambiance for not getting caught. She carefully applied red lipstick, pushing past her nerves to get the task done.

Edward was always very punctual and always arrived after dinner at the exact time. He always knocked on her window before letting himself in. He was still wearing that stupid green shirt she got him though he had discarded the hat. Closing the window behind him, he looked around the room and paused at the sight of the candles. She smiled nervously and waited for him to look at her.

He asked, joking dryly, "Did you not pay the electric bill?"

She explained, "It's called mood lighting,"

Steeling herself, she untied the sash of her robe, the material parting and she pushed them down to show off the green bra she was wearing underneath. Edward froze. She put the robe aside. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at him again.

"Do you wanna come over here?"

He took two steps before he stopped and turned away. "Jesus Christ."

"It's Jessica, actually," She giggled, her nervous making her want to cover herself but she held on to her courage. "My half-naked body isn't that repulsive, right?"

"Repulsive? No, no," He still wasn't looking at her. "You're…you're nicely proportioned."

"Thank you," Why wasn't he looking at her? "I kind of think my boobs are too big for my body. I'm not complaining but they're bigger than they should be."

"That's not a bad thing…" He almost turned to look at her again but panicked and faced the wall. "Could you put something on please?"

Self-conscious, she crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you not like me like this?"

"Um…I…you look cold," he stuttered, voice nearly breaking. He coughed. "I want you to be more comfortable."

"I'm comfortable like this," She really wasn't. "Can you turn around? You're making me feel like I'm a hag here, Edward."

He turned around, one hand covering his eyes. She nearly threw a pillow at him. He was being so childish. Why did she follow Lauren's advice? Why did she think this would work?

"Edward," she said, her voice small and her insecurities pressing down harder on her than ever. "Do you not want me?"

Because how could he want her? It made no real sense. Maybe you could love someone and not want to be intimate with them. Sex and love could be separate and Edward didn't feel any attraction towards her.

God. She was so stupid.

"You're not stupid," He put his hand down and finally looked at her. "And I do want you, Jessica, more than I've ever wanted anyone in my long existence."

Her confidence felt less bruised at that. "But?"

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked uncomfortable. He coughed again and looked down at the floor. If he could blush, he would be. She waited for him to explain.

"I've never been intimate with anyone."

"But…" She tried to process that. "Never? Not even once?"

He shook his head. "When I was human, there were girls I found attractive but I didn't really want to be tied down yet. Then there was a war and a pandemic after that so I didn't really get the chance."

"And after?" she asked. "That's a long time to not try anything. There had to be some vampire girls you could've experimented with."

"I told you there were no other girls before you," he replied. "I hadn't wanted anyone until you."

She nearly melted. Who was this boy? The hundred-year-old virgin, he was like that Steve Carell film but sadder. It was off for her to be the more experienced of the two. It changed how she had to approach this.

She beckoned him over and he took a seat at the end of her bed. "Okay, so you're not the most experienced. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I know you're not new to this," he said. "And I don't want to disappoint you in that regard."

"You won't. We'll go at the pace you're comfortable with," she told him. "If you want to not have sex for a while, that's okay. If you want to experiment and find out what you like first, that's also okay. We'll do this together."

"That's not the only thing," he added. "You know how fast I am. I happen to be really strong."

"How strong?" she tried to joke. "Superman level?"

He nodded. "Superman level."

Oh. In other words, he could crush her with his bare hands. Well, that put a new damper on things. She frowned as he looked at her apologetically as if his super powers were his fault.

She moved closer to him. His eyes dropped down and stared at the swell of her breasts. Maybe he was attracted to her after all. She took his hand in hers and squeezed reassuringly.

"We'll be fine," she explained. "It's something we'll have to work on. And in the beginning, I should probably be the one doing the driving."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "The driving?"

"Yes," She smiled. "You lay back and I'll do the work."

He rubbed at the back of his neck again. "Um…I don't know if that's…"

"Only if you want to do this," She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him. "There's no need to rush. We can do whatever you want to do for now."

His hand reached up and slid the strap of her bra down, baring her shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the skin of her shoulder. The cold touch of his lips made her shiver. His other hand reached around her back to the clasp of her bra and he paused there.

She giggled. He was adorable. And maybe Lauren's advice wasn't the worst. Even if she would never tell her that.

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

He rested his forehead on her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his hair. She waited. Finally, he lifted his head and looked her in the eye.

"Rain check on the…on the sex," He smiled self-deprecatingly at his own apprehension. As if he hadn't waited decades for this. "But we can try other things?"

"Okay," She reached behind her and finally, finally unclasped her bra. She grinned as his eyes widened in awe. "Other things could work."

They worked just fine. More than fine.

At school the next day, Jessica greeted Edward good morning by kissing him deeply in the parking lot in front of all their classmates. He looked dazed as she pulled away and took his hand. She smiled triumphantly at all the looks they were getting.

Jessica Stanley got the guy. And not just any guy, she bagged the hottest boy in school. No matter what they thought of her, she succeeded when they all had failed. She had gone to where no girl had ever gone before with Edward Cullen. These jealous witches could all go jump into a river.

Edward gave her a knowing look. She smiled innocently at him. He didn't say anything and let go of her hand. She felt bereft until he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. She was so giddy she could've screamed.

"Please don't," he said as they stopped at her locker. She unlocked it and pulled out her textbooks. "And by the way, what are you doing tomorrow?"

You. She grinned as he coughed. She wondered if he would always get flustered or if that would fade over time. She was excited to find out.

He continued, "What I meant was that my family wants to meet you formally."

She had met most of the Cullens at that point. She went to school with his siblings, met his dad at the hospital due to volleyball injuries, and it was only his mom she hadn't truly met. She had heard Mrs. Cullen was young and beautiful and didn't look like she could be a mother to five teenagers. She learned these past few weeks that Edward adored his adoptive mother and meeting her would be a big thing.

"They want to meet me?" she asked. "What lies have you been telling them?"

"No lies but I may have stretched the truth a bit," he returned. "I made you sound nicer than you really are."

"Oh no. I'll have to be on my best behavior," She sighed, pretending to be despondent. "No bad jokes and inappropriate questions. What have you done, Eddie?"

He rolled his eyes and pulled her against him. "They want to meet the girl I love. You don't have to pretend to be what you aren't."

"And there goes my plan to tell them you blackmailed me into dating you."

He snorted. "As if they would believe that."

"It's totally possible," she insisted. "Here you are the only single person at the house and everyone just wants to set you up with a sexy vampire girl that looks disturbingly like Megan Fox. But not you, Eddie, you want to rebel so you bring home a human. And not as dinner."

"I'm taking you to have lunch with us actually," He kissed the tip of her nose. "And as far as rebellions go, you're a step above a rabbit."

"I'm not even at mountain lion level?" She scowled. "Or a grizzly bear?"

"You're miniature," he replied. "You fight like a hamster."

She was very offended. "Excuse me?"

"I could kill you without trying," he said matter-of-factly. "The only thing you'd hurt would be my hearing."

"I'd like to see you try it, bat boy," She pushed him away and they walked side by side towards their classroom. "You pick me up tomorrow and I'll meet the parents and charm them up to their eyeballs."

She just hoped she didn't die trying. She was meeting an entire family of vampires. Would bringing a stake with her be considered rude? Just in case.

"Stakes won't work," he told her. "And they won't eat you."

"I hope not," She would come back as a ghost and haunt him. He would never be safe. A little unsure, she asked, "Do you think they'll like me?"

They stopped outside their classroom. Edward took one of her hands and kissed the back of it. It was something straight out of an old film. Her man out of time was something else.

"They'll love you."

Hi. No update yesterday. I was tired. We are eight chapters away from the end.

This story now has a trailer if you want to check that out. It's on YT. /watch?v=LmcM7LkFk1I

I'm gonna address some more reviews:

just a question- will the nomads (James/ Victoria) be entering the story in the coming chapters? - Hmz0975

- No. They're not in this story. They did pass by through town two years ago and killed a security guard but that's it.

I love your story so much and the relationship between Jessica/Edward though I wonder why the excessive use of the word butthole? It's in every chapters so just wondering haha - Guest

- I don't use it in every chapter. Only most. Haha.

1. I am aware that canonically Edward doesn't believe in sex before marriage. But in this story he's a 105. He's earned it. I also wanted to show the importance of communication and respect in intimacy. It should be two people working on it together and not one dictating sex/no sex and practically forcing a girl to marry him.

2. Interview With The Vampire is a 1994 film.

3. Yes, Jessica did Rickroll Edward.

4. I made it my headcanon that Edward's mother migrated from Ireland. And Irish people don't say "Top of the morning!". That misconception started from Friends and of course Jessica adopted it.

5. The Steve Carrel film mentioned is The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

6. "You're miniature. You fight like a hamster" is from the film No Strings Attached.