Chapter 16. Merry Christmas.
Christmas came and went in a flurry of cold, wet snow and sleet. For the first time in my life, I received more presents than I knew what do with. From my parents, I got a new camera and a beautiful blank photo album. I was more than content for those to be my only two gifts and planned to begin filling my album immediately when I went to the Cullens' house.
What I was not expecting was the sheer magnitude of gifts I received from them. The entire drive over to his house, I had lamented to Edward that I hadn't gotten gifts for any of his family members. It felt selfish and wrong to go over there only to receive gifts and not give any, but Edward told me that his family weren't expecting anything from me, that the best gift I could give them was to accept all of their gifts. I had no reason not to believe him, but it didn't stop me from feeling guilty that I simply couldn't afford to buy gifts for seven vampires who already had everything they needed and wanted, and more.
Alice, vibrating with joy as usual, thrust a large elegantly wrapped box in my hands the second Edward and I walked in the front door, tying up my hands as Edward tried to help me out of my coat. It was a dress, one that she implored me to go change into right that moment.
I received gifts from the rest of them, too. Emmett gave me a new sound system for my truck, and surprised me by telling me that he had already installed it for me even as it sat in my parents' driveway. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a waste. I'd only driven the thing a handful of times in the months since I'd started dating Edward.
Carlisle handed me a heavy, thick gift wrapped in smooth green paper. It was a first edition copy of Wuthering Heights. I didn't even balk at the sheer amount of money it must have cost him, and I didn't hesitate to throw my arms around Edward's best friend / brother / father figure as I thanked him profusely.
Esme's gift came in a large, beautiful bag of soft purple. I sighed contentedly as I pulled out a thick blanket of the softest, most luxurious material I had ever touched. It was the same color as the gift bag, and looked like it was bigger than my entire bed back home. I couldn't wait to curl up in it, maybe snuggle a bit with Edward and a cup of hot cocoa if we could manage to find some time alone in the coming days.
Jasper's gift was handed to me by Edward as Jasper remained leaning against the wall, further from me than the rest of the family, but smiling warmly all the same. It was another book, another first edition classic. It wasn't one I had read yet, but I sure was excited to as my fantasy shifted to Edward and me curled up in my new cozy blanket with a cup of cocoa reading this book together. I didn't hug Jasper, of course, but I grinned at him and thanked him all the same. I knew he could feel my emotions, and that he knew how happy he had made me.
I was surprised when Rosalie stepped forward and handed me a small box tied in a glittery black bow. Inside was a small, dainty little bracelet with a tiny green gemstone that perfectly matched the color of the dress Alice had forced me into. I thanked her as Edward helped me clasp it on my wrist, and tried not to wonder how much it had cost, remembering the casual way she had dropped nearly thirty thousand dollars on the watch that was now glittering on Emmett's wrist.
"I also made some modifications to your truck. The steering wheel was a little tight, so I fixed it and did a few other small things." She shrugged, flipping her hair back over her shoulder in what I thought was supposed to be a nonchalant move. "It should handle a little better now."
"Wow." I blinked at her. Rosalie was the resident car expert in the Cullen house, though they all could do basic repair work. The fact that she had used her knowledge to help me out was touching. "Thank you, Rose."
"It was nothing," she said, and turned away from me.
We stayed for a few hours – Esme had cooked for me, and Alice had ordered a cake big enough to feed twenty people. They sat around chatting with me and with each other as I ate more than I should have, and then I sat around and watched them. Emmett and Rosalie shared an oversized chair near the fireplace, which was roaring and made the room feel warm and lovely. Jasper and Alice played a very quick game of chess – Alice won easily because she could see every move Jasper was planning, and he playfully refused to ever play with her again. Esme and Carlisle stood nearby and watched with warm, happy smiles as Edward tried to teach me how to play the piano.
It was all very normal and happy, until Emmett started trying to convince Edward and Jasper to go outside and wrestle with him. Edward quickly decided it was time to bring me home, which was both a relief and a disappointment. On the one hand, I was interested to see how they moved when they were play-fighting. On the other, I was sure I would be a nervous ball of anxiety watching Edward face off against either one of his brothers, even though both Rosalie and Emmett had said weeks ago that Edward always won. Esme packed up all of the food she had cooked, and the ridiculous cake Alice had bought me, and Edward brought everything out to the car while his family took turns telling me goodnight.
The car ride home was quiet, just the soft sounds of classic Christmas music playing quietly from his speakers as he held my hand over the gear shift, kissing it every so often.
"Will you wait in my room?" I whispered when he walked me to my door. He flashed me a quick, bemused smile. He had only been in my room a couple of times, each time appearing unannounced at my window when he wanted to speak to me quickly. "I actually have something for you. I didn't want to give it to you in front of your family."
He cocked his head at me and smiled softly. "You didn't have to get me anything, Bella. You are the most perfect gift."
He meant it; I could see it in the gentle happy look in his amber eyes, feel it in the tender way his hands caressed my waist. I sighed and leaned up, pushing up as high on my tiptoes as I could until he bent down to let me brush my lips softly over his.
"Will you wait?" I murmured against his mouth as I wound my arms behind his neck.
"I'll wait," he promised. "I have something for you, too."
He kissed me once more, still tenderly, but less chaste than the one I'd just given him. He pulled away just as the front door opened in our faces. I wanted to scowl at whichever of my parents barged out on us, assuming they did it on purpose, but I let go of my anger when I noticed how shocked and embarrassed my father looked.
"Oh. Sorry." Charlie went red, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um, hi Edward. Were you coming in?"
I frowned at him, wondering why he was being so awkward; obviously he hadn't expected to open the door on us kissing, but he looked almost nervous. I realized why when I looked behind him to see Jacob with his hands on the back of Billy's wheelchair. They were both staring at me with discomfort and shock written all over their expressions.
"Hello, Charlie." Edward merely smiled blandly and shook his head. He knew all about what had happened the last time I went to La Push, and though he didn't explain anything to me, his anger when I'd filled him in had seemed over the top. Now, though, I was sure he was putting forth effort to remain calm in front of Charlie. I wondered why he hadn't told me they were here, or if he hadn't realized who was in the house until it was too late. "No, thank you very much. I was just dropping Bella off."
I reached for the bag he held out, the one filled with food and all the presents his family had given me, but Charlie took it first and whistled at the weight of it. "Geez, what all did they give you?"
"I'll show you later," I said, making a show of rubbing my arms as I avoided looking at his guests. "It's really cold out here."
"Oh, right." He stood aside and gestured for me to head in.
"Goodnight, Bella," Edward said softly. "I'll talk to you later."
I smiled at him over my shoulder and nodded. "Goodnight, Edward."
I moved past Jacob quickly, still avoiding looking at him, and stopped for just a second to pop my head into the kitchen and tell Renee hello before I made a beeline for the stairs.
"Bella, wait." I froze with my hand on the stair railing and looked at Jacob over my shoulder. He was standing just a couple feet behind me. I could see Charlie carefully wheeling Billy out to the car through the open door. Edward was gone, and I figured he was only parking his car a few streets over and would be upstairs within a minute; he wouldn't want to leave me alone with Jacob and Billy around, not after what happened last time I talked to Jake.
"What?" I demanded with a frown.
"Can I please talk to you?" he asked, and gave me some truly heartbreaking puppy dog eyes. "It'll only take a second, I promise."
I heard the water shut off in the kitchen and knew that Renee was eavesdropping. Jacob seemed to realize this as well because he turned to look at the kitchen doorway before stepping closer to me so we were practically toe to toe. I realized then that he had somehow managed to grow more than a foot in the months since I'd first moved here. Where he had been only an inch or two taller than me when we first met, I now had to crane my neck to look up at him.
"You gonna call me stupid again?" I rolled my eyes and scowled at him. Remembering Renee, I lowered my voice to a hiss. "Gonna tell me I don't know what I'm doing? That it's all just so wrong and so gross? I'm not interested, Jake."
He caught my wrist when I turned to storm away, and I wheeled back to face him and wrenched my arm from his gentle grip. Even two steps up from him, he was still a little taller than me.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said, and I saw true remorse in his eyes. "I just got so mad. I don't really think you're stupid. I mean, sure, I don't think it's a good idea what you're doing, but you're not stupid. I just wanted you to know that I care about you, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
"Aw, Jake." I groaned and looked up the stairs. Edward was there, I just knew it. Jake followed my gaze, and the hard set of his jaw made me think that he knew it, too. "Look, I'm sorry too. I think I messed up bad when I first moved here."
"What do you mean?" His face was scrunched up in confusion and I felt that warm, fond feeling of friendship bubbling in my chest.
"I shouldn't have flirted with you to get that story out of you," I whispered. I wasn't worried about Edward hearing me; he already knew how I'd found out about him. I was worried about Renee. "I led you on and then things got complicated."
He stared at me for a minute, and then burst out laughing. I scowled at him, arms crossed over my chest until he stopped and gasped for air. "You think… you think you tricked it out of me?" He wiped at the tears that appeared at the corners of his eyes and shook his head. "Bella, I knew what you were doing. You weren't that subtle. I didn't actually think that you liked me, but sure, I let myself pretend for a second. I just didn't believe what I was telling you. If I did, I probably would have kept it from you and then you never would have known, and maybe you wouldn't be with him now."
"It was always going to happen. I already had my suspicions, I just needed to hear them confirmed, and he was going to tell me anyway," I admitted very quietly. Jacob frowned at me, his eyebrows drawing together as he stared at me. "That night, actually. He met up with all of us in Port Angeles. He was going to tell me, but I already knew."
He took a deep breath. When I saw the furrow of his brow, I figured he was attempting to calm himself. He leaned his shoulder against the wall next to me and let the breath out in a rush of air.
"Are we okay, Bella?" he asked, peering at me through those thick black lashes.
I hesitated, biting my lip. "You were like a completely different person, Jake. It was… it was scary."
"Yeah, but you know why," he said confidently. When I frowned at him, his confidence faltered and gave way to what looked almost like desperation. "I can't say it now, but you already know. I told you. I already told you."
"What?" I shook my head; now I was sure my face was screwed up in confusion as I tried to figure out what he was talking about. "Jake, I don't know what you mean."
"No, Bella, you know. I just can't talk about it until you say it, but you know," he insisted, growing more agitated. That trembling was starting again, and I knew he was struggling to repress something big, something dangerous.
"Your dad's waiting for you," I said softly. I needed him to leave before he got any more upset. If he got as mad as he'd been in his garage before those boys had come to get him, I just knew Edward was going to step in and things would get very ugly. "You need to go."
"Bella," he whispered.
"I'll try to come out to La Push again next time my parents do," I told him. "But I can't make any promises, Jake."
"Your dad's all packed away, Jake," Charlie said loudly, cheerfully, as he stepped back inside. He stopped and looked at us, taking in the wary look on my face and the badly suppressed anger on Jake's. "Whoa, hey, what's going on?"
"It's nothing, Dad," I said quickly. The last thing I needed was for Charlie to get upset and make whatever Jake was struggling to contain even worse. "He's not feeling well. He was just leaving."
"This isn't still about…" Charlie started in a stern tone, but I cut him off.
"It's fine, Dad." My tone was firm, and my gaze was pointed. Charlie held up his hands in surrender, but didn't leave the little hallway where he could stand and closely monitor the situation. "I'll see you later, Jake. Drive safe."
"Bye, Bella," Jacob said. The trembling had stopped right around the time Charlie came inside, and he was mostly just sad now.
I frowned after him as he walked away with his head hanging like a kicked puppy, and I could see the concern in Charlie's gaze as he watched him climb into the car with Billy. I had no idea what was going on with him. I wondered if Edward would be willing to give me any information; he usually liked to keep people's more personal thoughts to himself, but maybe it would be different with Jake.
"Weren't you going to show me what you got in here?" Charlie asked as I started up the stairs again, intent now on trying to get some answers. I turned again to see him nudge the huge bag with his toe.
"Oh. Right." I joined him by the front door and struggled to lift the bag. He wasn't being dramatic earlier when he commented on how heavy it was. He brushed my hands away and took the bag from me. "Let's go to the kitchen; a lot of it's food. They sent me with leftovers."
He perked up considerably at that and I could see him trying to peer into the opening of the bag curiously.
"Leftovers?" Renee said as she dried her hands on a damp blue dishtowel. She frowned at Charlie when he hefted the bag onto the kitchen table and took out a large container of the delicious roast Esme had cooked for me. "I thought you were full!"
"I am! I'm just curious!" Charlie said, but he and I shared a private look when Renee turned to get a glass of water. He most definitely was not full on anything she had cooked for dinner.
I unpacked all of the food containers and loaded them into the refrigerator, carefully placing them in front of Renee's leftover cooking so that Charlie could easily fix himself a plate as soon as she went upstairs to shower. He nodded at me appreciatively when I turned back around, and I winked at him.
"So," I said, reaching into the bag once more. "Jasper and Carlisle got me these really nice books. Emmett got me a new sound system for my car, and somehow he's already managed to install it. Esme gave me this blanket, and Alice gave me this dress she made me wear."
"Nice," Charlie said, inspecting the empty sound system box. "How did he install it already?"
"I don't question Emmett." I shook my head helplessly as Renee walked over to admire the blanket from Esme. As she reached out to inspect one of the books, something else caught her attention and she gripped my hand in hers to lift my wrist.
"What a pretty bracelet. Is that from Edward?" Renee asked, touching the dainty silver chain.
"No, it's from Rosalie," I said. When she raised her eyebrows – my parents knew Rosalie was not my biggest fan in the Cullen house – I shrugged.
"What did Edward give you?" Charlie asked as he tossed the empty box back down on the table.
"Oh, he hasn't given it to me yet. He said he'd give it to me later," I said, gnawing on the inside of my cheek anxiously. He was up in my room right now, waiting for me.
"Why? Weren't you together all night?" Renee said. She did have a point; Edward picked me up around five, and it was now after nine o'clock.
"Yeah, but we were with his whole family." I shrugged. I really didn't know why he hadn't given me whatever it was yet, but I knew one possible explanation that my parents would buy. "Probably he didn't want to deal with Emmett and Jasper."
I knew why I hadn't given him his gift yet. I wanted to be alone with him when I gave it to him, as it was both silly and sentimental, and potentially embarrassing. It made sense to me that his reasoning could be similar.
"You two have plans tomorrow?" Charlie asked.
I shrugged again. I knew I was going to see him tomorrow; I saw him everyday. We just hadn't discussed it. "Nothing definite."
What we did have was plans for right now, and I was growing more and more anxious the longer I left Edward to his own devices in my bedroom. I didn't think he would go snooping, not when he knew I had something there for him, but what if he did?
"I'm gonna head up to bed, if that's okay," I said, already starting for the stairs. "I'm beat."
"Don't you want to watch a movie?" Renee protested.
It was an unspoken tradition for the two of us – and I guessed it would now expand to include Charlie – to watch an old classic together on Christmas night, after all the festivities were over. Some years, we would be too tired by the end of it to make our way up to our beds, preferring instead to camp out on the living room floor.
"Um." I hesitated, and looked back to see the hurt in her face. I sighed. She was already so put out that I didn't share many details about my relationship with Edward. I couldn't bring myself to deny her this now. "Yeah, okay. Just let me go change really quick."
"Okay!" Renee said, and her happiness was radiant as I turned and ran up the stairs as fast as I dared.
He was on my bed, leaning against my pillows with his legs crossed at the ankles, his arms resting bent behind his head. His shoes were neatly lined up beneath the window he'd come through. He smiled as soon as he saw me.
"I am so sorry," I said, knowing that he heard my exchange with Renee. "It's tradition."
"It's not a problem," he assured me as I rushed to my closet and pulled out a pair of long flannel pajamas.
"We can do the gift thing really quick now if you want," I told him. His was just on my desk, hidden under a stack of papers.
"That's alright. I'll wait." He hadn't moved an inch when I turned to face him again, to study his expression and see if he really wanted to wait for me.
"I don't want you to sit here bored out of your mind," I told him, clutching my pajamas in my fist.
"I'll wait," he promised, and suddenly he was standing before me, his hand gentle on my cheek. "I've waited more than a century for you. I can wait a couple more hours."
I blushed and turned my face more into his hand and wrapped my arms around his waist. "You're the most incredible person."
"I believe that title belongs to you," he said with a small smile.
I gave myself a minute to snuggle into his chest and then pulled away. "Will you turn around for a minute?"
He gave me an odd look, and I held up my pajamas. His eyes widened slightly before he did as I asked, and I did the same. I couldn't change my clothes while looking at him. It was nerve-wracking having him here, standing inches away from me as I struggled to reach the back of my dress. I bit my lip when I realized it was a fruitless attempt. Alice had helped me into the thing, now I was going to need help getting out of it. I wondered if she had seen this moment happening when she insisted I change clothes tonight.
"Actually," I said, and felt my already flushed skin grow even warmer. "Can you unzip this dress?"
I didn't turn to face him, but I felt his hands on the back of my neck a moment later. I wasn't surprised, but a little disappointed when he dragged the zipper down carefully but quickly, his fingers quick and methodical and not even brushing my spine. When I glanced over my shoulder at him, he had already turned back around, so I let the material fall to the floor and stumbled into my warm pajamas.
"Thanks," I said when I was changed.
"You're welcome." When he turned around again, his face betrayed no trace of how he felt about what had just happened, whereas I knew I was bright red all over my body.
"Well, I guess I'll, um, be back in a little while."
Feeling incredibly awkward, I turned to the door. He caught my hand and pulled me back to him and I sighed contentedly as he wrapped me in his arms. He didn't kiss me, just held me to his chest in a sweet embrace.
When he released me, he resumed his earlier position on my bed as if he'd never moved from it. "I'll be right here."
Never had I had more difficulty sitting through a movie than tonight, with the knowledge that Edward was in my room right over my head waiting for me. Not even that first time we'd tried to watch a movie together in Port Angeles with all my human friends was more difficult. At least then he'd been sitting right next to me where I could have reached out and touched him had I the courage at that point.
Luckily for me, Renee didn't seem to notice my inattention, and Charlie was just so happy to be partaking in a long-standing tradition of ours that he didn't notice much of anything. I wished suddenly that Edward had come inside with me when we got back; Renee probably would have invited him to watch as well. Of course, that might not have been a good idea, considering our struggle to keep our hands off each other the last time we had been in a dark room with a movie playing. And we weren't even dating yet then.
It was almost midnight by the time the movie ended and I kissed Charlie and Renee goodnight and gathered my Christmas presents from the Cullens and raced back up the stairs.
He was still there, in that exact same position. I wondered if he had actually not moved a muscle since I left; he'd told me it was easy for them to freeze, to basically become statues if they chose. Then he grinned at me and held one hand out to beckon me to him. I detoured to my desk to set down the books from Carlisle and Jasper and to grab the two small gifts I had for him, and then jumped on the bed with him to snuggle into his side.
"What did you do while I was downstairs?" I whispered against his neck. I knew my breath was hot to him, and I wondered what sort of reaction his body would have had if he were a human. Would he have shivered against me? Would his flesh have erupted in goosebumps? When he turned his head and pressed his smiling mouth to my temple, I found I didn't much care about what-ifs. I was perfectly content with the vampire I had.
"I meditated," he murmured, and his cool breath did make me shiver and clutch him closer.
"You meditate?" I questioned, trying to peer up at his face even as I clung to him.
"Some form of it," he told me. "It doesn't work quite the same as it does for humans, but it does help to clear my head when I'm upset. It blocks out some of the background noise, but not all of it."
He tapped the side of his head with one finger to indicate that he was referring to his mindreading.
"You're upset?" I said with a deep frown, struggling out of his grasp to sit cross-legged beside him. "Why?"
"I'm not upset." He sighed as he mirrored my position. "Poor choice of words, I apologize. I was feeling… I guess the emotion would be anxious."
"Why were you anxious?" I demanded. I couldn't imagine Charlie and Renee could have been thinking much that would bother him, not while watching a movie all snuggled up on the couch like I'd wanted to be with him.
"Because I wanted to give you this." There was a box in his hand, small like the one Rosalie had given me, but not wrapped.
"Oh," I said, and gingerly accepted the gift when he held it out to me.
"I want you to know I didn't spend any money," he told me when I hesitated to open it. "It's something I've always had."
I raised an eyebrow at that, and carefully flipped the hinged lid. My mouth fell open as I looked down at the simple, oval gold locket resting on a bed of soft white cotton.
"I don't actually remember my mother wearing it, but there's a photo inside that makes me think she must have," he said, and I couldn't recall him ever sounding so nervous. "Obviously, you don't have to keep the photo inside it. You can put whatever you like… I just thought you might like to see it."
As carefully as I could, I opened the dainty locket. And gasped.
The old photo was sepia toned, whether due to age or because it was always that way I had no way of knowing. I doubted Edward would know, either. A young boy – maybe thirteen years old – with a head of wild, thick hair gleaming in the sun stared up at me.
Edward.
He was wearing a pair of dark pants, black or grey, and suspenders of the same color over a long-sleeved white shirt. His smile hadn't changed one bit, but there were small differences in his face that could have been caused by puberty or the change. He was a gangly thing, clearly just having hit a huge growth spurt. He was just as tall as the woman who stood on his left, but nowhere near as tall as the man on his right.
"Are these your parents?" I whispered. My fingers trembled when I stroked the image of him as a young human boy.
"Yes," he said just as softly. "Elizabeth Masen and Edward Anthony Masen, Sr."
He looked a lot like his father, I realized, studying the tall man in the photo. He was wearing a stiff-looking suit and tie and his smile was thin and strained. He looked like a man who took himself very seriously, and he didn't show his son any affection, at least not in this photo. But the shape of his eyes, his chin, his nose. Those were all Edward.
His mother was beautiful and kind looking. Her smile was free and happy, and matched that of her son. She stood close to him, her arm around his waist. Her hair was curly and, though it wasn't a color photo, I could tell it was the same shade as Edward's while the man's was significantly darker. She was wearing a simple white dress, high-waisted with a pretty ribbon tied there to accentuate her slim build. Something about her reminded me of Esme Cullen, though they didn't look much alike aside from the pale skin. Maybe it was the way they both so clearly adored their son.
Edward, my Edward, the real one sitting on my bed next to me, was staring at me when I managed to look up. I realized I was tearing up when he turned blurry. With an embarrassed laugh, I blinked and swiped my hands under my eyes. He looked concerned, or nervous, or some mixture of the two, when my vision cleared and I could finally make out his expression.
"I love it," I told him. "Thank you. I'll treasure it always."
He looked confused for a moment when I closed the locket and handed it back to him, but he caught on quickly when I turned my back to him. I felt the mattress shift a moment before I felt his cool presence behind me. He gently lifted my hair from the back of my neck, brushed it forward. Then he reached forward and laid the locket on my chest. His fingers brushed the nape of my neck as he clasped it together.
He didn't move back, so instead of turning back to face him, I leaned back against him. He wrapped his arms around my middle and rested his chin on my shoulder. I suspected he was eyeing his necklace on my skin.
"I had a hard time thinking of what to get you," I admitted, pushing my hair behind my ear as it fell into my face when I ducked my head.
"You didn't have to get me anything," he murmured in my ear, and touched his lips to my neck.
"You keep saying that, but do you know how I would have felt not giving you anything after you gave me this?" I touched the pretty locket, still cool on my chest. "I mean, what I did end up with is stupid enough as it is. I honestly meant it to be a joke."
"Bella." He moved, appeared in front of me in an instant, put both of his hands on my shoulders, and ducked his face to look me in the eyes. "Whatever it is, it's perfect because it's from you."
I could see that he meant it, but I still felt stupid as I handed him the little box that I had wrapped carefully with a shimmering gold paper that reminded me of his eyes. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, my fingers curling in the soft blanket from Esme as I watched him slowly slide his finger under the tape. He was one of those who didn't like to tear the wrapping paper, apparently. The discovery didn't surprise me.
He looked in my eyes as he lifted the lid from the little box and tipped the contents into his hand. When he looked down, he stared at the tiny wooden hand-carved mountain lion figurine for what felt like an eternity before a charmed smile parted his perfect lips. A soft laugh fell from his mouth as he ran his fingers over it.
Obviously, he understood why I had chosen this gift for him. Mountain lion was his favorite, after all. What he didn't know was that I had struggled for weeks trying to figure out a present for him. When I'd stumbled on this in a small shop in Port Angeles with Renee a few days ago, I'd figured this was the best I was going to find. In all honesty, I thought it could be a cute little inside joke between us. As I studied his face, it was immediately apparent that there was nothing cute about it to him. He truly loved it, just as he'd sworn he would; it touched him.
"You think this is stupid?" he finally said, his voice so soft and full of wonder as he tipped my chin up with one long, slender finger. "I have the cap of your water bottle from the very first time you joined me for lunch. It's hidden away in a drawer in my bedroom and I take it with me every time I leave you to go hunting."
Something about that should have been weird, I thought. But I couldn't find it in me to feel uncomfortable about it. I felt… warm. I smiled at him and leaned in to brush my lips against his. "Maybe you'll take this guy with you now, instead."
He smiled against my mouth before he pulled away and lifted the tiny little wooden figurine in the space between our faces. "Most definitely," he said, and then carefully tucked it into the pocket of his shirt. Right over his heart.
I backed away when he tried to kiss me again, and reached for the paper I'd left at the foot of the bed.
"There's more," I told him, clutching it to my chest.
"More?" He repeated, and there was nothing but burning curiosity in his eyes as he stared at the back of the paper. "What is it?"
"Well, I'm not giving it to you," I warned him. I wanted to keep this particular little gift. "I just wanted to show you. I found it when I was cleaning out my desk the other day, and it just felt right that I needed to share it with you. You needed to know."
"Bella… what?" He was giving me that look again, that frustrated, curious look that told me he wanted nothing more than to be able to read my mind right now.
Smiling nervously again, I handed him my government syllabus, the one I had unintentionally drawn his face on in perfect detail before I'd ever even met him. He took it from me eagerly, his interest peaked, and he froze when he realized what he was looking at.
"I didn't know you could draw," he said after a long moment without taking his eyes off the paper.
"I can't," I told him. "Not really. Not like that. Doodles, and weird abstract things. Not portraits."
"When did you do this?" he asked. I could tell by the marveling quality to his voice that he suspected. It was a syllabus, after all.
"My first day at school here," I said. "Two hours before lunch."
Two hours before I ever actually saw him up close. Two hours before he'd so nearly killed me.
When he looked up at me, I knew he was as astounded as I was when I'd first realized what I'd done.
"I wanted you to know," I whispered. "I'm not sure what it all means, but from the moment I first saw you… it's like I haven't seen anything but you since."
There was a heat in his gaze, an intensity that I so rarely saw.
"It's the same way for me," he said, his silky voice deep and all but raw with emotion. It felt like we were both saying something else, but I wasn't ready yet to think of what it could be.
His mouth was hungry and insistent when he kissed me a second later. He leaned into me with his whole body so that I fell flat against the mattress with him on top of me, his lips on mine, his tongue in my mouth. His hands left my waist a second before I felt his fingers dig into the material of my shirt with such force I was sure he would tear right through it, but of course he didn't. My fingers threaded in his hair, and one of my legs came up and wrapped around one of his legs so that my foot was between his thighs, stroking the inside of his leg when I shifted restlessly, wanting… something. I wasn't sure what, but holy hell did I want it.
A moan caught in my throat when my movements pressed us closer together and deepened the sensation. I would have been embarrassed if he didn't growl, low and deep and primal, in response.
"Oh, God," I gasped, tearing my mouth from his when the sound went straight to my core.
"What?" He froze above me, his eyes filled with horror and concern and I realized he thought he had hurt me, or maybe frightened me.
"No, nothing." I shook my head and tried to drag him back down to kiss me, but he didn't budge. "I'm fine. That was just… really sexy."
He flashed me his little smirk, and then his lips were on me again, hard and cold and demanding. I used my leg to pull our lower halves together again and whimpered at the shock of pure pleasure that shot through me. My heart was pounding in my ears; I wondered how loud it was to him. He growled again, this time on purpose I thought, and my mind went blank as my body turned into pure, hot desire.
I couldn't say how long we stayed twined together like that, but it could have been minutes, or it could have been years and I would have never known the difference.
When finally he pulled away, joking that he was worried for the health of my poor, frail heart, I reached for the blanket from Esme where I'd dropped it at the foot of the bed. I draped it over him, tucked it under him on one side.
He laughed, bewildered. "What are you doing?"
"What I've been dreaming of doing since I opened this," I said, curling into his other side and tucking the blanket under me so we were like a soft, purple snuggly cocoon. I sighed and nuzzled my face into his neck.
The arm beneath me shifted and I felt his hand in my hair, stroking as he crossed his other arm over his body and laid his hand high on my waist. "How does it measure up to the dream?" he breathed in my ear.
"Mm. There's not cocoa and you're not reading to me, but it's pretty perfect," I whispered.
"I could fix both of those problems," he offered.
I gripped the front of his shirt with both hands before he even shifted. "Don't you dare move."
He didn't. Instead, he began to hum quietly. My lullaby. I smiled and shifted even closer to him.
"I should leave," he said a while later. It was obvious that he didn't really want to, and I definitely didn't want him to, either, but I also wasn't ready to ask him to spend the night in my bed with me. "You need to go to sleep."
I started to protest, but then I caught sight of the clock next to my computer. Was it really almost three o'clock in the morning? Edward kissed my forehead and gently extricated himself from the blanket before tucking it more securely around me.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" I murmured as he approached the window.
He paused and looked back at me. In the pale moonlight, I saw him smile. "Of course. How could I survive a day without you?"
"Good. Me too," I whispered with a small, exhausted smile. My eyes drifted shut, and I heard the window slide open, then heard it close again. When I forced myself to look, he was gone.
Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for reading! From all of the comments and reviews I've gotten lately, I gather that you all are enjoying seeing Edward and Bella's relationship progress a bit more normally before shit gets real. It's so nice to hear that, because it's something I feel like the original series is really missing and I've enjoyed getting to write it for myself! This chapter was not originally part of my plan (and somehow it's the longest chapter yet), but I wanted to write another little slice of mostly-normal for them and I feel like we really missed out on a human-Bella / vampire-Cullens Christmas exchange in the books.
That said, this is sort of the lead in to their relationship moving from the cute getting to know each other phase and into the intense Edward and Bella that we all grew familiar with in the series. We only have eight chapters left, guys! Our climax is approaching! I only hope that I can do it all justice.
Let me know what you think!
Next time:
Chapter 17. Boundaries.
"I don't need space from you," I told him.
"We'll see how you feel in a week." Edward smiled. "When I haven't left your side."
I laughed when he kissed me, then pulled away to look at him shyly, tucking my hair behind my ears. "Does this mean you're staying the night?"