Hello there all my wonderful readers. First off, if you stuck with this, you are a saint. It has been over a year since I have updated this! It's been a crazy year for me but I am finally back to start picking up where this left off. I spent most of the day reading what had been posted already and then dug into the file that I had been working on a bit here and there. I didn't realize I didn't post any more than what I already did. I seriously thought there was more up here.

I am so sorry that I went distant for so long. I really am. My classes for the semester are almost over (I'm finally into my Masters program, yay!) and then I have the summer off. I do have two little ones i'm obviously busy with but I've been able to find some time to write.

Thank you for sticking with me and as always, much much much love!

I drove into Charming and flew into the parking lot at TM. I saw that there weren't any bikes there and instantly cursed, realizing I had forgotten what Clay said to me before I left. I saw Gemma run up the door of the office and look at me. I parked the car quickly, wanting to use the bike to navigate through the town. Plus, riding always helped my mind stay cleared.

"Fae, what the hell is going on?"

"I have to talk to him, Gemma."

"Opie? He's over at the house."

She frowned at me when I didn't answer her and pulled my hair out of the bun it had been in all day.

"You're not looking for Opie."

"I don't.. I just.."

"What's wrong? Talk to me, baby."

I looked over at her and fought back the tears that were threatening to run down my face.

"My da-"

I chocked back the tears that were threatening to rip their way through my eyes. She walked forward and put her hands on my arms, trying to move her face to meet my eyes.

"What happened?"

I shook my head, knowing that the moment I tried to open my mouth I would fall apart. She scowled and led me towards the office, pulling me gently inside. Once we were inside, she sat me down on the couch, taking her seat next to me.

"Fae, sweetheart, what is going on? Is it your fight with Opie?"

"Jesus Christ Gemma, I can't do anything in this fucking town without someone knowing."

She huffed out a laugh and brushed my hair back away from my face.

"You're damn right, sweetheart. I've never seen you this twisted over a guy though. Or girl I suppose. The last time I saw you this torn up your dad was thrown into a cop car and your mother dumped you at my feet."

I wiped my eyes before wiping the moisture on my pants. I absolutely hated crying but if it was going to be in front of anyone, I was glad it was Gemma. I reached into my jacket and pulled the old folded paper out, handing it to her. She took it from me and opened it, looking like she already knew what it was.

"Otto sent this to you."

"He put it in the notebook he gave to me months ago. He kept hounding me to read through it all but I just.. I got so caught up in everything. Opie. Ima. Tara. Jax. Being shot.."

"Shit just got a little sideways sweetheart."

"It seems like my whole life has been sideways, Gem."

She sighed and handed me back the paper.

"What did Otto tell you?"

"How much he loves me. He wanted to make sure that no matter what I found out or how much we've been driven apart that I would always know that he loves me."

"I've never seen him love someone like he loves you. He always lit up when his eyes landed on you. Didn't matter how shitty things got around him.. as long as you were there, he had a smile on his face."

I sniffled and let out a shaky laugh. I always remembered just smiling at him. He was my whole world. Every time he looked at me it made the sun shine a little brighter. I guess we always felt the same for each other.

"He was always my hero."

She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

"I always told him that. He thought you would hate him for going in."

"No. Never hate for him."

"What else did he tell you?"

"He said mom couldn't have kids even though she always wanted a bunch of them. He said I came to them because I needed a family and they needed someone to love."

"None of that is untrue. I think they needed you more than you needed them. Not that they didn't take care of you."

"Dad took care of me."

She sighed and put her hands on her lap, still watching me carefully.

"Your mom loves you, Fae."

"She's never done a great job at showing it. You always felt more like a mom to me."

"I know baby. I've always been here for you. Always will be. You were the daughter I never had."

I sighed and nodded. I did believe her. She had been there for me through everything. There was never a day that I questioned that she would love me. I just always knew that Jax and the club would come first.

"Gem, who am I?"

When I looked up at her she looked worried. Gemma wasn't a soft woman, but when you really got to know her you knew when she was showing true emotion. My eyes felt raw and my hands were shaking, but I needed her to tell me what the truth was. I needed to know my truth.

"I'm not sure this story needs to come from me, baby."

"Otto told me to come to you. He told me you would be able to answer my questions. That says my last name is Telford. I know it's a common last name but.. Am I related to Chibs?"

Her face twisted up again.

"Gemma please. I need to know who I am. I need to know who my family is. Do I have a mom? A dad? Why.. why aren't I with them?"

"Oh sweetheart, there isn't a person in this world that would feel like that towards you."

"How am I supposed to believe that!? Gemma, this isn't even in English! And it sure as hell isn't certified by any stamp that I can see."

I held the birth certificate up as I felt the anger and frustration boil over.

"Aingeal Faelinn Telford. I haven't even known my name this whole time! Christ, the next thing you're going to tell me is that Chibs is my father, right?"

I laughed frantically, not expecting to see the pain twist Gemma's face again. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but quickly closed it.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

I tossed the birth certificate down on the couch and ran out of the office. I heard her yell for me, but the rain pouring down drown out most of what she was saying. I climbed onto my bike not even bothering to put my helmet on. I didn't have time to stop. I didn't have time to think.

I sped through town, weaving in and out of traffic. Cars were honking at me as I flew past them. My long red hair was soaked as the rain washed across my body. I knew I had to have been quite a sight on the bike as I pulled up to Gemma's house. I slammed on the brakes, killing the engine as soon as I put the stand down.

"What the hell are you doing!?"

I looked over at the door through the rain and saw Jax standing in the doorway. Opie was standing right behind him, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Fae! Mom just called Chibs and said you were driving in this shit! What the hell!? Get in here!"

I started walking towards the door and froze when I saw Chibs push past them and right down into the rain. He looked at me as the rain poured down on both of us. I wasn't sure if my body was shaking because of the cold or the fact that my whole world had been ripped apart.

"I wanted to tell you so many times. Christ, I wanted you to know."

"How could you keep this from me!?" I sobbed.

"It was the only way I could keep you safe, Fae!"

"Stop calling me that!"

Another sob involuntarily escaped my lips as I wrapped my arms around myself. His face twisted in pain as he watched me. Normally I would have been mortified to be that emotional around an audience, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Opie moved forward towards me, but Jax put his hand on his chest to stop him. They both watched me and Chibs talk about something they could barely even understand.

"All those years.. all that time I kept telling you how I felt like I had no family."

"And I always told you that was wrong."

"But you didn't tell me the truth!" I yelled

"Yes I did."

"Not all of it! Did.. did you not want me? Is that why.. is that why you lied to me my whole life!?"

"You know damn well that isn't true!"

"I don't know anything!"

He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders. I cried as I looked up at him.

"Who am I?" I whispered.

"You're my daughter, Aingeal."

He pulled me into my chest as I cried. Somehow my whole world had changed yet stayed exactly the same. I had so many questions but none of them could escape my lips past the sobs. He just held me as we stood there, neither of us sure of what needed to come next.

Chibs had finally convinced me to go inside after we stood in the rain for far too long. My whole body was shaking when I got inside, so Opie wrapped me in a towel and scooped me up into his arms. He carried me down into the bathroom to get me into a warm shower. Considering the last time I had talked to him we argued, I figured that he would still be furious.

"C'mon. Let's get these wet clothes off you."

I shivered as we both struggled to get them off my body. I cursed myself for wearing tighter clothes for work. Now they were almost impossible to get off.

"Christ, your skin is purple, Fae."

He reached over and turned the water on, making sure it wasn't too hot. He quickly pulled his own clothes off, making me blush. It had been so long since we had been in a situation like this, and it wasn't even close to the kind of reunion that I had been hoping for.

"Come on."

He helped me inside and followed me right in, keeping his hands on me as the hot water ran across my body. He started brushing the hair out of my face and working the knots out of it.

"I.. I can do it Opie."

"I'm already in here."

I nodded as he continued to work through my hair. I could feel my body starting to warm up, making the shaking at least calm down a little. After a few minutes, Opie put his hand under my chin and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"Are you at least warmer?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

He looked into my eyes for a few more moments before reaching back and turning the water off. He leaned out and pulled a towel in, wrapping it around me.

"Let me get dressed and I'll go find you some dry clothes. They still in the bedroom you've been using?"

"Yeah. There should be baggier clothes inside the top drawer."

He nodded as he slipped his own clothes back on. He quickly left, shutting the door behind him. I sat down on the end up the tub, keeping the towel wrapped tightly around me.

You're my daughter, Aingeal.

The words kept running through my head on repeat. As hard as I tried to stop crying, the tears just kept running down my face. The door opened again to Opie carrying clothes. He extended his hand out for me to take it.

"Found you some of your weird yoga pant things that your ass look great and my hoodie. None of your tops were really baggy."

"Thank you."

I wanted to laugh and say that I wanted comfy, not something to swim in, but the joke just didn't seem important. I slipped on the clothes and pulled my hair up into a bun again. I walked out of the bathroom and into the room I had been staying in. I heard Opie following me, but I didn't have the energy to ask him to leave. I curled up on the bed, bringing my knees to my chest. He sat down in front of me, watching me carefully.

"What happened?"

"You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to."

He reached forward, gently cupping the side of my face. He moved forward so I had to look at him instead of down at the bed.

"Fae. What happened?"

"I, uh.. I went for a ride after I stopped by here. Figured I would read the notebook since everyone was gonna meet here. Clay seemed.. off. So did Tig."

"That why you're upset?"

"You didn't hear what me and Chibs were saying?"

"Raining too hard."

I sighed, hoping that I wouldn't need to explain much.

"Long story short, Otto and Louanne aren't my parents."

"Who then?"

I looked up at him, not sure of how to say the truth yet. He looked at me and I saw realization flash across his face.

"Are you alright?"

"No. Not at all. I don't understand anything. I.. I don't even know who I am."

He took my hand in his, moving so I had to look directly into his eyes.

"You're still you."

I scoffed and pulled away from him.

"That isn't a very good thing to be."

"Don't say that."

"I didn't have to. You said enough earlier."

He sighed and took my hand again.

"I want to talk about this later, but I think the person you need to hear from right now is Chibs."

"He probably isn't even here."

"Him and Gemma are the only two who are. Everyone else left."

"Oh."

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

"I'll go sit with Gemma. I'll be here if you need me."

I nodded, not wanting to tell him that I always needed him. He was absolutely right. We needed to talk but the conversation with Chibs was much more important at that point in time. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees.

"You're stronger than all of this, Fae. You always have been."

I just stayed silent as he walked out. He could tell me I was strong all day but the only thing I was feeling was like I was falling apart.

I sat in the room by myself for what seemed like an eternity. I had so much running through my head. There were so many questions I wanted to ask all at once. Forming a coherent thought line was impossible. I heard a soft knocking on the doorframe which pulled me out of my erratic thoughts.

"Mind if I come in?"

I picked my head up slightly to see Chibs standing in the doorway, but I knew as soon as I heard his voice who it was. I nodded slightly and watched him sit almost exactly where Opie had been.

"Ya look a mess, sweetheart."

"Yeah, well when you find out your whole life has been a lie.. it's a little hard to just be okay."

He sighed and nodded.

"Ya got every right to be mad, sweetheart."

"I'm not.. mad.. I don't think. I just.. I don't understand."

"Ya already know my story. Failed medic in the army. Joined the IRA even though I was a dirty Scott. Fell in love with Fiona and had Kerianne."

"Where the hell do I fit in this story?"

He sighed and looked down at his hands.

"When Jimmy O' took Fiona, I was still there for 'bout a year. I stayed under the radar but really, I had nowhere else to go. That's when I met Faelinn. She was one of the most beautiful women I ever ma laid eyes on. Beautiful red hair and the most piercin' blue eyes I ever seen. She was also the most kind and caring woman I knew. IRA women were mean and miserable. Always ready for bloodshed."

"She wasn't IRA?" I asked quietly.

"No."

He paused for a moment, clearly seeing a past I had never known existed.

"Didn't take long for her to be with child. I was over the moon! I missed Kerianne with everything I had, but I was gettin' a second chance with Fae. What I didn't know was Jimmy O' found out. He waited until she went in to have tha baby and I left the room. Christ I only left for a minute."

He bowed his head down, distraught. I took his hand, not liking the pain written all over his face.

"Did he take her?"

"No. No, he knew Fiona woulda killed her. He killed her while she was holding our child. He tried to take her. Raise her as his own, like my Kerianne. A nurse walked in though, and he ran. He was protected by the IRA, but killin' someone with no ties was never gonna be alright."

"I always thought they had no rules."

He laughed softly and finally looked at me directly, gripping my hand tightly.

"I ran with ya right then, Aingeal. He found me later but not until after I stowed ya away safe. After he hurt me, and they sent me away, SAMBEL got ya ta me and we came here. I knew if I kept ya, he would find ya. He always finds everything I love and takes it from me. I needed ya to be safe. I couldn't save my first born, but I could save you."

I looked down again and tried to process everything he was telling me.

"Didn't it hurt? Seeing me love Otto more than life itself?"

"Aye. But I still had ya. I got ta see your face every day and know ya were safe. That man took everything. Everything but you. I watched ya grow up safe and smilin'. I watched ya do crazy stuff with Jax and Opie, knowing that ya would be doing the same if ya knew I was your da. I got to be your friend and hold your hand through everythin'."

I started crying again and bit my bottom lip, trying to stop it from trembling.

"Chibs, I am so sorry. If I had known I.. I wouldn't have left you. I felt so alone. I've always felt so alone. Like the ground I was walking on wasn't even right. All this time.. I'm so fucking sorry."

He pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"Ya always will belong anywhere I am, Aingeal."

I cried as he held me, feeling every emotion possible. I felt hatred for the man who tried to kill him and killed my mother. I felt heartbreak for leaving him behind without even a word. I felt belonging for one of the first times in my life.

"Is that why Piney called me that?"

"Aye. Pissed Clay off something terrible. He didn't think it was right ya didn't know."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I told Otto I'd back off. Let him be your da. It was up to them if ya knew or not."

I sat back up and looked at him. He looked so tired. I touched his scars on his face. Normally he flinched away if anyone paid much attention to them.

"You took these to protect me."

"Aye. I'd give my life for ya, Aingeal. No piece of paper saying ya had a different name was ever gonna stop that."

I looked down and let out a shaky breath.

"Does Jimmy O' think I'm dead?"

"Not sure. Though I'm sure if he saw ya he would know."

"Why.. why kill her though? I just.. I don't understand."

He sighed as he continued to hold me to his chest.

"Those bastards don't give a fuck about anything but their agenda. Not sure I can ever explain that."

"Did you name me Aingeal?"

"Aye."

"Why?"

He laughed, deep and rumbling. I sat up more to look at him, still staying close.

"'Cause ya saved me. Ya came to me when I didn't deserve nothin'. Yet somehow I was given this perfect beautiful baby girl."

I laughed, the smile finally reaching my eyes.

"That's really lame, Chibs."

He laughed and kissed the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't tell ya."

"Its.. it's okay. I just.. I thought it was because you didn't want me or something."

I looked at him through my lashes, embarrassed by what I was saying.

"That's not the case at all, lass. It killed me watching ya call someone else da. But I was already so lucky for ya to be there. I got to see ya grow up. There wasn't anything else I ever wanted more."

I smiled at him again and nodded.

"So.. what do I call you?"

"Whatever ya want to."

"Okay. Am I like.. illegal?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"Nah. We got all tha' straightened out."

"This is.. just.. wild."

He laughed and shook his head.

"Ya find all that out and wild is the word ya choose?"

"Yeah. I think? Yeah. Wild. That works."

"I love ya Aingeal."

"I love you too Chibs."

"Would ya rather me call ya Fae?"

"I think.. I think I like you calling me by the name you gave me. I mean.. I've been Fae for all the life that I remember but.. that doesn't change what I've been through. What we went through."

He reached forward, putting his hand on the side of my face. He looked me in the eyes and I felt like I was finally seeing him for the first time. He wasn't hiding who he was and what I really meant to him.

"I'm glad ya don't remember all that shite."

"I think I am too. I just.. I'm glad I finally know."

"Me too, sweetheart."

"So.. think I could ask you a quick question? Like advice stuff?"

"Ya know ya don't need to ask that."

"Do you think I'm being too hard on Opie?"

"Yes."

I laughed out once.

"Wow, didn't expect an answer that quickly."

"Look, I know ya are scared. But that man loves ya."

"Yeah. I know."

He took my hands again, looking down at my small hands in his rough ones. He was usually wearing his riding gloves, but I had always admired how strong his hands were. You could always tell how hard he worked that day by how banged up his knuckles were.

"I don't think I've ever trusted anyone the way I trust you, Aingeal. Mo anam cara."

"You're saying this to the woman who took off for years without even saying goodbye."

"None of that matters, sweetheart. Wha' matters is that I can tell ya anything and know ya won't do nothing to hurt me or the club."

"I grew up in the club. I mean the club saved me. Saved you. I feel even more in debt to the reaper now than I ever have. All the people I love most are tied to the club."

He nodded, and I could see his mind racing.

"Chibs, what is it?"

"I was with Ope when we found the bastard that shot ya."

"I'm not really surprised by that. Even before I knew.. everything.. I wouldn't be surprised that you were there."

"I know. But sweetheart, that man loves ya. I never saw that pain come from him before. Not when Donna left. Not even when you took off."

"What do you mean?"

"We found tha bastard. He was so angry. He kept asking 'em why you. He wanted ta know why he wanted ya hurt you, of all people. Told him that he finally got ya back and he almost lost ya forever."

"He said all that?"

"Aye. He did. He didn't care who saw it or what happened to him. He just needed tha bastard dead fer hurting ya."

I frown knowing he had put himself in danger. As scared and hurt as I was, I didn't ever want him in danger on my account.

"If he hadn't, I would 'ave."

I looked up at him and nodded. He squeezed my hands and gave me a weak smile.

"He loves you, Aingeal."

"I know he does, Chibs. Hey, anam cara. You used to say that to me all the time. What does it mean?"

"It means someone that ya love. Friend of your soul is tha translation. It's someone yer connected ta since the beginning of time. Your soul recognizes their soul and that connection can never be broken."

I smiled and felt it reach my eyes, finally.

"You were always telling me the truth, weren't you?"

"And I always will."

He kissed my forehead again and smiled at me before leaving me alone in the room. I sighed, feeling at least a little relieved by my conversation with Chibs. It was still hard to grasp but having him be so open with me shut down a lot of fears I was struggling with. I wasn't exactly okay, but I knew wholeheartedly I was going to be.