"Meredith how have you been since I last saw you?" Dr. Brunson asked seeing the bags under Meredith's eyes she was pretty sure she knew the answer.
"I guess the same. Not really any better but not really any worse. I guess that is good right," Meredith said as she looked across the office to Dr. Brunson.
"I'm glad you aren't feeling worse, but the end goal is for you to keep getting better," Dr. Brunson said as Meredith nodded her head. "I talked to Susan for a few minutes before I came in here and she just let me know you had some concerns about potentially taking medicine," Dr. Brunson said as she watched Meredith think for a moment before speaking.
"I just didn't want to have to rely on something to make me feel better," Meredith said as Dr. Brunson nodded her head.
"I understand what you are saying. Look I am going to be honest with you. Therapy can only do so much sometimes. You come here to talk things out and to process everything you are feeling but sometimes they are certain factors that you can't control no matter how much you talk about them. Meredith I won't try and convince you to take anything to help but I just want you to consider trying out a prescription. The thing is certain medications work better for different people so if you try something and it doesn't seem to be helping or if it gives you side effects you can stop or try something else," Dr. Brunson said.
"I am willing to try. At this point I don't think it could make it worse," Meredith said as she looked up at Dr. Brunson.
"Alright we will figure out a good medication for you to start on. I will talk with Susan before prescribing you anything and let you know of any potential side effects to look out for. The medicine isn't a complete fix though and it might take some time for it to work. With that being said we are still under the agreement that if you feel you might hurt yourself you go and talk to someone right," Dr. Brunson said.
"Yes, I will," Meredith said quietly as she looked down.
"Alright. Now that we got that out of the way let's talk for a little bit and then I will bring Susan in and discuss medication," Dr. Brunson said as Meredith nodded. Dr. Brunson took a deep breath and paused. She wanted to try something but wasn't sure how Meredith would react.
"Now we talk about the accident every once in a while, but we don't talk a lot about anything before the accident," Dr. Brunson said a bit cautiously wanting to gauge how Meredith would react.
"I guess I just don't like to talk about the past. It's easier not to," Meredith said as she shrugged her shoulders.
"I understand that but Meredith you are never going to truly take a step forward if you don't work through the stuff that is holding you back. You grew up in a single parent household with a mom who worked a demanding job with long hours. That must have been lonely," Dr. Brunson said as Meredith looked up from the ground.
"I mean, I guess. I always wished I had a sibling growing up, so I could have had someone to play with. I guess that is why I am so glad I got a sister in Lexie," Meredith said as she smiled slightly. "I didn't really see my mom a lot. She spent most of her time at the hospital or locked in her study writing in her journals. As far back as I can remember there was always a different baby sitter or nanny. She was particular about the people she let in the house and she always seemed to find a problem with them," Meredith said as Dr. Brunson nodded her head.
"What was school like?" Dr. Brunson asked.
"I guess I never really felt like I fit in. I had people I was friendly with and had a friend or two, but I mostly kept to myself. I wanted to focus on my grades. My mom always said that I wouldn't be able to get into med school if I wasn't top of my class," Meredith replied.
"That must have been a lot of pressure," Dr. Brunson suggested.
"I mean it was, but I was used to it. I grew up watching people praise my mom for the work she did, and I knew I would probably never measure up to her professionally," Meredith said. "I always wondered if she was proud of me, but I guess now I will never know," Meredith said quietly. "I think that might be the hardest part of all of this. Never knowing what could have been. Maybe we could have been close if I became a doctor," Meredith said as she got lost in thought and trailed off.
"Meredith you can't live your life wondering what could have happened. You have a family who loves you and I know I don't really know them that well, but I can assure you they love you to," Dr. Brunson said.
"Yeah, I know they do, and I am sure they are proud of me. Why is it that people I have only know for a short amount of time can show me they love me but my own mother who I knew my whole life wasn't even capable of that," Meredith said with anger in her voice. She took a deep breath before looking up at Dr. Brunson. "Can we talk about something else. I don't want to talk about my mom anymore," Meredith said as Dr. Brunson nodded her head.
"Of course. Tell me about school. How is everything going?" Dr. Brunson asked as Meredith relaxed slightly as she began to talk about school.
00000
"Hey dad," Meredith said quietly as she came into the kitchen and saw Thatcher sitting at the kitchen table. She had gotten home from her therapy appointment a few hours ago and had been resting upstairs since.
"Hey Lexie, what's up?" Thatcher said as he still was looking down at the newspaper in front of him.
"Umm," Meredith said as Thatcher looked up and realized who was standing in front of him.
"Oh, sorry Meredith I just assumed… umm what's up?" Thatcher said caught off guard by Meredith calling him Dad. He was pretty sure that this was the first time she had ever done that.
"It's okay. I was just wondering if we could talk," Meredith said as Thatcher took his reading glasses off and set the newspaper down.
"Of course," Thatcher said, and he could sense Meredith's nervousness from her voice.
"Why don't we go for a walk and we can talk," Thatcher suggested as Meredith nodded her head and grabbed her jacket and shoes to put on. Thatcher went upstairs to let Susan know where they were going and once he came downstairs followed Meredith outside onto the porch. The two made their way down the street as they walked in silence. Thatcher wanted to let Meredith talk when she wanted to, so he stayed silent.
"I was talking to Dr. Brunson today and she brought up my mom. I got upset talking to her. I don't know I just don't like talking about her, but I think it bothered me talking about her to someone who didn't know her. I remembered that day we ate in the diner you said if I ever wanted to talk about my mom that we could," Meredith said as she looked over at Thatcher.
"Yes of course Meredith. Whatever you want to know or talk about I am here," Thatcher said as he saw a small smile appear on her face.
"I only knew one side of my mom. It was the surgeon. She wasn't much of a mother. I mean yeah, I always had food and a place to stay and I got what I wanted but I never really knew what a mother was supposed to be like. That was until I came to live with you and met Susan. I knew right away that she was what a mother is supposed to be like. I just get upset when I think about what my life could have been like had I grown up with Susan, Lexie and you," Meredith said as Thatcher nodded his head.
"I know what you mean. I think the same thing all the time. I think back on all the years I missed with you. All the firsts, all the birthdays, and things that I will never get to experience with you. I think what helps is looking forward to what I will get to see. Graduating high school, going to college, and everything else. Meredith to tell you the truth I saw a lot of your mom's side as a surgeon as well. At times it did feel like I was second place, but I also saw her passion. I saw how driven she was to be the best and how she wouldn't quit until she got there. I think that might have been the thing that made me fall for her in the first place. I see a lot of that drive in you. Look Meredith you have every right to be upset with her and I know Dr. Brunson doesn't know anything about your mom, but she might be a good person to talk to about her. Just know that I am always here to talk," Thatcher said.
"Thank you I appreciate that," Meredith said as her and Thatcher made their way back inside the house and into the kitchen. Susan was in there getting dinner ready.
"Hey, did you two have nice walk?" Susan said as she smiled at the two of them.
"Yeah it was good," Meredith said as Thatcher smiled.
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Meredith can you let Lexie know?" Susan asked as Meredith nodded her head and went up the stairs. Thatcher waited till she got all the way up the stairs before he turned towards Susan.
"She called me dad today. I don't know if it just slipped out or what, but I thought it was Lexie at first. I looked up and saw her standing there," Thatcher said as Susan smiled seeing how happy her husband looked.
"That's amazing hun. I am glad she is starting to feel more comfortable around us and around you," Susan said as she pulled Thatcher into a hug.
"She wanted to talk about Ellis. I guess Dr. Brunson brought her up and she just felt like she had no one to talk to who understood," Thatcher said as he set the table.
"It has to be really hard for her. I mean I know their relationship wasn't great, but it was still her mom. I am glad that she has you to talk to though," Susan said as she took the food for dinner off the stove and moved it to the table.
"I know. I just wish I had more to tell her about her mother. I don't want to lie and make up stories that aren't true," Thatcher said as Susan nodded her head.
"I think she appreciates the truth," Susan said.
"I know you're right," Thatcher said as he turned around hearing the two girls come down the stairs together. Thatcher stopped talking as the family all sat down around the table to eat dinner. They finished up a while later and Lexie went upstairs to finish up some homework. Thatcher and Susan had been sitting in the tv room reading on the couch.
"Hey," Meredith said softly as both Susan and Thatcher looked up. "Umm I just wanted to say thank you for talking with me today," Meredith said as she looked at Thatcher.
"Of course, anytime," Thatcher said as he smiled at the girl.
"Umm I also just wanted to say thank you, to both of you for not giving up on me and for just being there. I know it probably hasn't always been the easiest, but it means a lot to me," Meredith said as she looked down for a moment.
"Honey you don't need to thank us for that. I think you were always the missing piece our family needed, and you have brought so much joy to us," Susan said as she walked over to Meredith and pulled her into a hug. Meredith hugged her back and then hugged Thatcher as well.
"I am going to go work on some homework upstairs with Lexie," Meredith said as both parents nodded their heads and watched the girl leave the room. Susan and Thatcher both went back to reading in silence but knew that they had made the right decision that night at the hospital in making Meredith a part of their family.