Chapter 18

Severus looked down at the sleeping form sprawled across his lap and smiled. He had been reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to Gabe while the boy had lolloped all over the sofa and an eventual soft snore had alerted him to the fact that his son had dozed off. After setting the book aside, he had simply been content to sit back and drink in the peace and quiet.

He ran his fingers through Gabe's inky black hair and let his eyes rove over the delicate planes of his son's face. He couldn't remember Gabe's first words or his first steps, couldn't remember the sleepless nights of his infancy or the tantrums of his toddler years but he loved him all the same.

There was something deep within Severus that responded to Gabe, that recognised the child as his own on some fundamental level. He felt so protective of him, so connected that it quite took his breath away sometimes. The memories of his son were in there somewhere, however deeply they were buried, and any loss of memory didn't supersede what he felt for the boy.

A movement from the doorway caught his eye and he tilted his head to see Harry leaning on the doorframe, a mug held to his chest, an indulgent smile on his lips.

"The number of times I've found you two like that," he murmured softly, and Severus was struck by just how incredibly beautiful his husband was.

He held out his hand and Harry padded softly across the room to join him. Their hands entwined and Harry sat beside him as Severus twisted his upper body to lean over and meet him in a gentle kiss. Trying not to dislodge Gabe, he reached out with his free hand and tenderly caressed Harry's jaw as their lips moved in a well-rehearsed dance.

In the same way that something deep within him responded to Gabe, so it did with Harry. This was the man he had loved for 16 years, the man he had made his life with, the man he had created their beautiful son with and he knew, more than anything, that his life lay with him.

"Ew gross," came Gabe's voice, and Severus broke the kiss to see the boy looking up at them with a wrinkled nose.

"You should keep your eyes closed," Severus told him with a smirk.

Gabe scrambled up into a sitting position and eyed his parents with distaste. "You two are soppy," he said with a sniff.

"You might be soppy yourself one day," Harry told him with a lazy smile.

"I hope not, it looks awful," Gabe replied disdainfully, and Severus snorted in amusement. "Can I cycle into the village?" he asked, directing his question to both of them.

Since Severus' memory loss, Gabe had been deferring all such questions to Harry while Severus took a back seat where parenting was concerned. It was about time he resumed his fatherly role and Gabe seemed to realise that too.

Seeing that Harry was also happy to leave the question to him, Severus nodded and said, "Fine, but be back by five o' clock please and no sweets from the shop."

"Oh Pa."

"No arguments. Off you go."

"I preferred you when you couldn't remember anything," Gabe groused, shuffling off the sofa as Harry burst out laughing.

"He gets more like you every day," he told Severus with a smile.

"Heaven help us," Severus replied as they settled themselves on the sofa, Harry tucking himself neatly into Severus' side. Severus held him gently, closing his eyes and listening to the cheerful birdsong coming through the open patio doors.

He could just imagine what they were in for with Gabe's teenage years. At nearly eight years old the boy was already precocious, with all of Harry's fearlessness and all of Severus' cunning. The thought of never recovering his memories of Gabe's childhood was painful but he was ready to make new ones with his husband and his son.

He ran his fingers through Harry's soft hair, so like Gabe's, and sighed contentedly as he sat with the man held closely to his body. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but it was as though he wasn't falling in love with Harry for a second time, simply reacquainting himself with the love that already existed.

It was their wedding anniversary in a week's time and, thanks to Ginny's organisation, they were having a party to mark the occasion. It was to be a small, quiet affair, held at their home with their closest friends. Severus was actually looking forward to it and it would do them good to reaffirm their relationship after it had hit such rocky waters.

"Harry," he said softly, and Harry gave a murmured 'mm?' with his head pillowed on Severus' chest. "I think…I think we should renew our vows on our anniversary."

Harry raised his head and met Severus' eyes, his expression guarded. "Renew our vows?" he repeated with caution.

"We've been married ten years, it seems fitting," Severus said, reaching for Harry's hand. He could see the wheels turning in Harry's head and could interpret the man's thoughts almost instantly. "We're not starting again," he assured him gently, and Harry's eyes widened in surprise.

He gently kissed Harry's knuckles and smiled, saying, "No one can read you like I can, even with memory loss."

Harry blushed and gave him a painfully endearing smile. "You know me better than anyone," he said softly.

"Are you willing to go forward with me regardless of whether or not I recover my memories? Are you willing to still be my husband?"

"Of course I am," Harry whispered. "When I married you it was for life, it still is. Let's do it," he said with a decisive nod. "I think it's a great idea."

"I may never be the same man you married but I do love you and I want my life to be with you and Gabe," Severus said, never having meant anything more in his life.

Harry smiled then reached into his robes and extracted a vial. Familiar as he was with Harry's memories now, Severus didn't need to ask what it was. He took it gently and held it in his hand, knowing what it contained.

"You'd better take a look at that before our anniversary then," Harry said quietly, looking down at the vial with a conflicted expression.

"The final battle?" Severus asked and Harry nodded.

"Everything that happened and then…afterwards…our first time together."

Severus' stomach fluttered at the thought of seeing himself and Harry that way, watching himself divest Harry of his virginity, being the first person to wring every ounce of pleasure from that gorgeous body.

"Watch it and then…then I guess we can try and get on with the next step of our life together."

~*~ Harry sat on the sofa in Severus' quarters, his legs pulled up, his chin resting on top of his knees. Despite being wrapped up in Severus' embrace he had been unable to fall asleep and had untangled himself from his lover's arms and crept out into the living room. His mind was going a mile a minute and he hadn't been able to quiet his thoughts.

They had a plan but it was untested and born simply from Harry's imagination. Severus had confirmed that, in theory, it would work, that the magic was solid, but Harry had long since learnt that it didn't always translate into practical success. It was all too unpredictable and it was making Harry's nerves almost unbearable.

All the horcruxes were destroyed, save for himself and Nagini, and the information from the Order was that Voldemort was poised to strike at any moment. A team had been assigned to dispatch the snake in the midst of battle and, while a select few knew about Harry, no one but himself and Severus knew what the plan was. He was playing it over and over in his head, examining it from all angles and praying that his customary dumb luck would be enough to see him through.

He heard the bedroom door open and a moment later Severus' fingers raked through his hair. "Can't sleep?" the man asked as he sat beside Harry on the sofa.

Harry shook his head. "Too much on my mind, my head's spinning."

"It'll work, Harry. I know it will," Severus said softly.

"It's just…I'm frightened," he confessed quietly.

Severus reached out and took his hand, entwining their fingers together. "So am I," Severus admitted, "but I believe that we can do this."

"I'm scared…to die."

Severus swallowed hard and squeezed Harry's hand tightly. "It will only be for a moment."

"You really think it will work?"

"It has to," Severus said forcefully. "I won't lose you…I can't."

The raw emotion in the man's voice was like a punch to Harry's stomach. It was strange sometimes to think that Severus Snape of all people had fallen in love with him yet here they were. Harry had always believed the man to be in full control of his emotions, that he kept them on a tight leash, but he was far more governed by his feelings than Harry would have expected.

He had done nothing to hide his love for Harry and for that Harry loved him all the more. The passion between them was so intense that it sometimes felt overwhelming and all Harry wanted was for this bloody war to be over so they could fully explore what they meant to one another.

"No one's ever done this before. We've…created this magic and it's untested," Harry said, knowing he was trying to talk himself out of it.

"No one's power compares to yours."

"To ours," Harry corrected gently. "Voldemort will never see it coming."

Severus flinched at the name but nodded nevertheless. "I won't fail you," he vowed, and Harry felt undone by the heartfelt declaration.

"I know that. You never have done, you've always been there to save my backside."

"Well I do have a vested interest in your backside," Severus said with a wicked smirk and Harry couldn't help but laugh, cutting through the tension that had settled in the air.

"Maybe we shouldn't have waited," Harry said, regretting now his hard and fast scruples. "I don't want to die not knowing – "

"I've already told you," Severus said firmly, "that's not going to happen. When this is over, when we've defeated that bastard, you and I are going to begin our life together, starting with my thorough debauching of your delectable young body."

Harry grinned and said, "I'd like that in writing."

"Deal," Severus said, leaning over and claiming Harry's lips in a deliciously possessive kiss. Harry moaned appreciatively and slid his arms up around Severus' neck as the man's body pressed down against his.

Their kisses were so staggering that Harry wondered if he would actually survive sex with the man. He had spent many blissful hours fantasising about it but he rather suspected that the reality would be so much better.

Severus' lips moved to his throat and Harry's skin burnt with the pleasure of it. "You have my word that no stone will be left unturned in ridding you of your virtue. I intend to explore every inch of this delicious body once it's laid bare and I promise that when I'm done with you you won't even remember your own name."

"Holy fuck," Harry breathed shakily, knowing that Severus meant what he was saying.

"Yes," Severus said with a dry chuckle, "that's it exactly." His hands slid over Harry's torso and Harry gave himself over entirely to the intensity of the man's touch. "I intend to make you come undone beneath my hands as I acquaint myself fully with every inch of your skin. I intend to claim you completely as mine."

Harry trembled as the words washed over his senses and he whispered, "I already am yours."

His mouth was reclaimed in a possessive kiss that took his breath away and he moaned as almost painful desire shot through him. He was Severus', there was no doubt that he would never belong to anyone else for as long as he lived. He wondered if everyone else loved this fiercely, if everyone else was this overwhelmed by their own feelings.

A hand cradled the back of his neck while the other slid beneath his pyjama top and caressed his hot skin. He wanted this man so much it physically hurt and it addled his mind that he was loved by someone like Severus, that he was so completely possessed.

He could feel Severus' prominent erection rubbing against his stomach and he was so aroused he thought he might actually explode. He was about to summon what courage he had and reach down to brush his hand over the man's hardness, to feel the outline of what he craved so intensely, when an ear-piercing alarm rang out through the castle.

They broke apart, eyes wide as they looked at one another, their heated passion replaced with confused panic. "What the bloody hell is that?" Harry asked.

"The wards have been breached," Severus said, his face pale.

"What? No, there must be a mistake. They wouldn't attack here. This isn't how it's meant to happen!"

"Harry, Harry breathe," Severus said firmly, but Harry could hear the slight quiver in the man's voice. "This is it, it's happening now. We're ready."

Severus pulled Harry to his feet and transfigured them both out of sleepwear into something more battle-appropriate. Harry was shaking so hard his teeth were chattering but he focused on Severus' dark eyes and tried to ground himself.

The fireplace roared to life and Dumbledore stepped through it, his face grave. "Gentlemen, we're under attack," he said, confirming Harry's fears. "We're moving the students as safely as we can and the Order members have been summoned. Severus, I need you to – "

"No Albus," Severus said softly. "My place is with Harry and that's where I intend to stay."

Harry watched as Dumbledore's lips pursed, his expression displeased. After everything he still didn't want to disappoint the man but they had a plan and they couldn't be answerable to the old man anymore.

"Harry, look at me," Severus instructed, and gentle hands cupped his chin and guided his head around. "We're ready for this."

"Are we?" Harry whispered.

"Yes," Severus said firmly.

"But what if we fail, what if we can't – "

"Harry," Severus said, and the tone with which his name was said was so intense it set his nerves on fire. "I am so in love with you it hurts," the man confessed and Harry's world constricted to contain nothing but his lover. "I have never felt this way about anyone and I have never had so much to lose. I will fight until my last breath to protect you, I will do whatever it takes to bring that bastard down once and for all."

Whatever response Harry might have made was snatched from his lips in a tender yet sweeping kiss. Severus' tongue invaded his mouth and Harry whimpered, a dim corner of his mind reminding him that the headmaster was watching them. He didn't care, couldn't care, not when the man he loved was kissing him with so much passion he thought it might undo him completely.

Severus pulled back, the fire in his eyes staggering. "I'm with you," he said softly, and Harry took a deep breath as he hardened his resolve.

"You have a plan?" Dumbledore asked, and they both turned to look at the man.

"We do," Severus answered. "Send a prayer up to Merlin for both of us."

"I hope very much you won't need it," Dumbledore replied before disappearing back through the flames.

Harry glanced back at Severus but both seemed to agree that the time for words had passed. With one searing look they exited Severus' rooms and made their way out of the dungeons and up into the heart of the castle.

They were in the fray of battle almost immediately, attacked from all sides by assailants in robes and masks. Harry's instincts kicked in immediately and he fell to fighting as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

Power and magic pulsed through his veins and he channelled it into protecting the place he loved, fighting alongside the man he loved. His shield spells were so strong that virtually nothing could touch him and the frustration of his attackers was palpable as their spells failed one after the other.

He and Severus moved through the castle, leaving destruction in their wake. They fought fiercely and no one was shown mercy at the end of their wands. Severus had trained him well and was himself a more accomplished duellist than any of the Death Eaters could ever hope to be.

Harry tried not to be distracted by those of his own side he saw along the way. Ron and Draco were fighting shoulder to shoulder, Ron proficient and strong, Draco cunning and quick. Hermione and Ginny were with a contingent of 7th years, all shepherding students to the Great Hall where McGonagall and several Order members were guarding them. Flashes of red here and there told Harry that the Weasleys were there and he prayed to any God that was listening to keep them safe.

"Here," Severus said, grabbing his wrist and yanking him up the stairs to the astronomy tower. They took the stairs at a race, Harry's heart thudding in his chest.

The tower looked down over the courtyard and the woods beyond, an excellent vantage point to observe the chaos below. Their plan had to wait until Nagini was dispatched and they watched, breathless, as Remus' team moved in for the kill.

"This is it," Harry whispered, adrenaline making him shake almost uncontrollably. "Oh God, I feel sick."

"You're doing brilliantly. I've never seen such skill. You realise you've been using wandless and wordless magic left, right and centre?"

"It just seemed easier," Harry said with a shrug and Severus laughed, the noise a deep rumble in his chest.

"Dear God, I love you," Severus told him and, no matter that he had heard it many times before, the declaration made his heart swell.

Noise from below drew his attention back to the courtyard and he watched as Remus' team battled the crescent of Death Eaters who had formed a barrier around Voldemort. Harry's insides twisted at the sight of the bastard and a new wave of fear gripped him.

"We should be down there. We should be fighting with them."

"We can't risk it. When the snake's killed we'll get down there."

"Fuck! Remus is down," Harry said as he watched in horror as Remus was flung aside by a curse from Lucius Malfoy.

"It's alright, Kingsley has him," Severus reassured him, but it seemed to Harry that the man was lifeless as he was dragged behind a pillar.

"They're dropping like flies," Harry hissed, watching as Remus' team were picked off by the maddest, most zealous followers Voldemort possessed. "They can't get close enough to the bloody snake to kill it. I knew there should have been a back-up team."

One by one the members of the unit fell and Harry couldn't tell who was wounded and who was dead. No one had made it within a hundred yards of Nagini and it seemed no one would. Suddenly there was a blast of light and fog from behind one of the pillars, blinding and intense.

When it cleared and the Death Eaters were standing blinking in confusion, Harry watched, transfixed, as a figure appeared behind Voldemort, a sword in their hand as they approached the writhing snake. In one fell swoop the creature's head was separated from his body and Voldemort emitted a blood-curdling scream.

"Oh my God, it's Neville," Harry whispered, finding it hard to believe the evidence of his own eyes.

"You must be joking," Severus said beside him, looking down at the smouldering remains of the horcrux.

Voldemort rounded on Neville and Harry flung the strongest shielding charm he was capable of to protect his friend. Voldemort's curse bounced off it and Harry braced himself, saying, "This is it."

Severus clasped his hand and together they stood on the parapet. "I'll see you on the other side," Harry murmured before they both jumped. Their magic crackled as they controlled their descent, landing smoothly in front of the madman himself.

Thankfully members of Remus' team had rallied and were warding off the Death Eaters who had scrambled to try and protect Voldemort. Harry's heart thudded in his chest and he gripped Severus' hand tightly as he faced the adversary who had dominated his life since birth.

"Well, my dear Harry, how good of you to join us," Voldemort crooned in that hideous voice of his.

"Tom," Harry said disdainfully, pleased his voice stayed level.

"I see you've brought my favourite traitor with you," Voldemort sneered at Severus. "Have you buggered the boy senseless yet, Severus or has he come to die with his virtue intact?"

Harry felt Severus bristle, his magic permeating the atmosphere. He squeezed the man's hand and said, "None of your business, Tom. We're not here to chat."

The bastard fired a volley of curses and, before Harry had time to think, they were fighting. It was window dressing, he knew it was, but it had to be convincing. If Harry surrendered to Voldemort without a fight then the whole thing would be blown and he was pleased that his fighting skills were up to the task.

Voldemort became frustrated when he couldn't best either him or Severus and his building anger played into Harry's plan perfectly. He saw the exact moment it snapped and he loosened his grip on his wand in anticipation.

Sure enough, seconds later Voldemort shrieked, "Expelliarmus!" and Harry's wand was wrenched from his hand, smacking into Voldemort's open palm.

"And now we have it!" the maniac hissed. "The child left without his toy, the boy left with no wand. Now I have you and we will finish this once and for all!"

Harry thought he would have heard the curse; perhaps he did but his brain just didn't process it. He did see the blinding green light as it hurtled towards him, heard Severus' anguished cry of 'Harry' and dimly realised that he was falling backwards before his world went black.

AN: I decided it could be a two-chapter week this week because why the hell not? I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know!

Thank you so much for all your lovely words of sympathy regarding my father-in-law, I really appreciated them. I'm also so sorry for those of you who have suffered the same thing with relatives or loved ones and I hope you know my inbox is always open if you need to talk. Lots of love x