Happy Sunday everyone!

Well the school year kicked off last week in my county. A lot of students are back on campus and a lot are at home. It's definitely an odd year, but God's going to get us through this. Prayerfully soon a vaccine can be made which will protect those who are at risk and the ones who aren't will be freed of the fear of bringing it to loved ones who may not cope with it well. God is good and He's always with us!

I hope you enjoy this new chapter of Tenderhearted! Thank you as always for your support every week and thank you to those of you who can regularly review. I appreciate each one so much!

Have a safe and blessed week and enjoy the chapter!

Elladan contemplated his brother's last words the rest of the day and all through the night. He rearranged them, added others to make complete sentences, read them aloud over and over again till his throat hurt, but nothing he could think of made the stuttered phrases mean anything more than they did by themselves. Finally, as dawn broke again over the valley, Elladan heaved a frustrated sigh and tossed the tablet down on the side of the bed, running a hand over his weary eyes.

"Oh, you are enjoying this little game are you not, little brother", Elladan muttered to the still form of Elrohir. "Ever did you find amusement in tormenting my mind with complex riddles that were nothing but simple when, finally, you would give me the answer out of pure mercy."

Elladan sighed as he gazed once again at the tablet that lay on the bedside. He studied over the list again, trying to find if he'd made any errors in copying them down.

Leaving.

Go away.

Cannot let.

Have to let.

Trying.

Hurt.

Broke.

No, no, have to go.

Has to leave.

Cannot love anymore.

Elladan growled in frustration and whirled away from his brother's bed, feeling his emotions boiling up to his explosion point. Needing some outlet for his anger, Elladan's fist lashed out and connected solidly with the stone wall, an action he immediately regretted as it earned him nothing but skinned and bruised knuckles. The pain of his self-inflicted injury at least pushed his anger down for the moment but it left him feeling unfulfilled and only exhausted. Wearily, Elladan slumped to lean against the wall and rubbed his now sore hand.

"That was incredibly foolish of me was it not, brother", Elladan asked to the silence, his rueful gaze roaming back to the sleeping Elrohir. "You tried to tell me over and over that lashing out in anger never hurts anyone but me but never have I listened to you. What I would not give to hear you tell me so again while you put salve on it for me. Your touch was always so gentle and soothing when you cared for the wounds my recklessness always earned me. Your hands alone could bring my fëa calm."

Elladan sighed as he rubbed the rough callouses on his palm, the result of years upon years of fighting and training. "Our hands are like our spirits, you know, Elrohir? Mine are hard and calloused from years holding a sword, bow, and spear. They are the hands of a pure warrior and someone who's life goal is to protect the lives of those he cares about by taking the lives of those who wish them harm." Elladan knelt down by the bedside and picked up Elrohir's hand gently, tracing the lines of his brother's palm with his fingers. "Yours, brother, are strong too. They have held their share of weapons over the years and you do not flinch from protecting those you love. But yours have a softness that I could only ever dream of. These same hands that can hold a sword can just as easily and much more eagerly give tender healing. You hold life, every life, so dear in your heart and you can use your hands so skillfully to save it. One touch, all it takes is one touch from your hands, and you can ease pain or soothe a troubled soul."

Elladan laughed humorlessly. "Why do all the tales and songs of old immortalize warriors like me, Elrohir? Why are we praised for might and power? It is so very easy to carry the keys of death in one's hands. Life is so fragile that to end it takes nearly no effort at all. But to save it! To save a life and return it to those who love it and cherish it and who hold it so close that they would be incomplete without that life, that, dear brother, is true might and power. I think, muindor, that if there were more of you in this world and less of me, we might actually have a place worth spending an immortal life in."

Suddenly, Elladan was overcome with emotion. He dropped his head down onto the bed beside his brother and wept, clutching Elrohir's hand desperately between his trembling ones. "Oh brother, why did this have to happen to you? Why am I so powerless to help you now? What kind of elder brother allows something like this to happen to his twin? Ever has it been my job to protect your heart but now I have failed you so, so miserably. I am sorry, Elrohir! I am sorry I let this happen to you. I am sorry I cannot see and understand what is hurting you so that I can stop it. I am so sorry, brother, but please, do not punish me by leaving me all alone in this life. You cannot leave me, Elrohir, you cannot! I could not survive without you. Ada, says we are both half of the other, but we both know that is not true. I need you far more than you need me. I depend on you so much and in ways that probably even you yourself do not realize. Elrohir, I love you so much, muindor, and I need you. If you go, I shall go quickly too for I cannot live without you and you know losing us both would shatter Ada's fëa beyond repair."

Elladan sniffed and lifted his tearstained face just enough to tenderly kiss Elrohir's hand he still held. "Ai, muindor, it is so very dangerous to love someone so dearly that holds such sway over your heart. The bonds of brotherhood such that we have can be a curse, for if either of us were to lose the other, it is enough to kill us. But having your love and loving you back is also one of my greatest blessings. It is so soothing to my heart to know you are always near. No matter the potential pain, I could never wish to love you any less, Elrohir. To do so, I think, would sh…shatter…my…my very…fëa…"

Elladan collapsed backward to sit heavily on the floor, arms bracing him up against falling all the way down in his shock. Finally, things began to swim together in his exhausted, grieving, and fear-filled mind. Elladan snatched up his tablet and pencil and read over the words again, his eyes picking out the last broken phrase. He had made an error! Elrohir had not said he was seeking to not love this something anymore he had only said he couldn't love it more! He was trying to protect his heart from becoming so attached to this thing or person that it would be devastating should he lose them.

A bright spark of hope flashed to life in Elladan's heart at this new perspective and he read over the words once again.

"'Leaving' and 'Go away must have meant that who or whatever this is was going to leave you", Elladan murmured out loud. "Then 'Cannot let' and 'Have to let' was you struggling with yourself not wanting them to leave, but forcing yourself to accept having to let go. You must have strained too hard though, brother, and separated yourself too suddenly from something that meant too much to you. But what was this thing, Elrohir? Did you think I would leave you alone during your healing? Surely not! I vowed to stay by you and you know I keep my promises. It could not have been Ada you feared leaving for healing is his life. You know he would never leave you. Who could it be then?"

Elladan wracked his brain for who or what it might be that had Elrohir had gone to such lengths to keep himself from bonding too closely to. One by one he listed off their closest friends in Imladris.

Erestor? No, while Elrohir was one of the few people Erestor had become close to, their relationship was more of a scholarly one. They would sit for hours and talk about deep subjects of history and philosophy, but Erestor wasn't someone Elrohir would turn to for deep emotional support and thus be this affected by a separation. Besides Erestor wasn't planning on leaving that Elladan knew of.

Lindir? No. True the quiet, young minstrel shared many traits with Elrohir and they were very good friends, but they were too similar in many ways. Oftentimes they both struggled with the same fears and, while that was a blessing when they needed no more than a sympathetic listening ear, it did not aid them when either needed a pillar of strength to lean on while they walked through a rough emotional time. A separation from Lindir shouldn't do this Elrohir and, again, Lindir was not going anywhere.

Glorfindel? The balrog-slayer was someone that Elrohir leaned on heavily for support and love, but no, Glorfindel would never leave if he was needed. He had been sent back to help take care of them all and was always nearby if any of them were hurting, physically or emotionally. Besides, Elrohir already deeply loved him like a cherished uncle and had since elflinghood. It would be as futile for Elrohir to separate himself from Glorfindel now as would be trying to separate himself from his brother, father, or sister.

Gilraen? No, that didn't fit either. They had known from the beginning that Gilraen would most likely not make it through her grievous wounds and Elrohir had seemed to have been beginning to recover from his grief over her death. He had been so happy that afternoon while playing with Aragorn.

Aragorn…Aragorn…ARAGORN!

Elladan threw his head back and laughed loudly while at the same time tears, of what all emotions he could not even say, coursed from his eyes.

"Ai, Elrohir", Elladan exclaimed. "Brother, I have been a fool! A FOOL! How could I not have seen it? It is so obvious! It is Aragorn. He was doing your heart so much good and I have seen and felt how much you dearly love him. It must have hit you that Ada would be sending him away soon with a new family now that he was recovering from his grief! You tried to stop letting him in, to cut off your love for him, so you would be able to let him go! Oh, muindor, how selfless you are to do something so devastating to yourself in order to let Aragorn go to what you thought would be best for him. I only wish you would have spoken to me or Ada about it before you did something so drastic. Perhaps there is another solution that would not have done this to you, brother. Ada! I must tell Ada I have figured it out and we must a find a way to right this for you now, Elrohir! I refuse to believe it is too late!"

Elladan scrambled to his feet and ran into the hall, grabbing the nearest servant and ordering him to go find Elrond immediately and tell him to come to Elrohir's room. As the servant left, Elladan returned to Elrohir's bed chambers, this time sitting on the bedside and swinging his long legs up on the mattress where he could then pull Elrohir's upper body up into his arms and hold his twin close to his chest.

"It going to be alright now, dear brother", Elladan murmured, kissing Elrohir's brow. "It is all going to be just fine. Ada and I will figure this out and find a solution that will be good for both Aragorn and you as well."

Softly Elladan began humming one of Elrohir's favorite songs as he continued to hold his brother, pouring the optimism he felt into where their bond should be and, he hoped, into Elrohir.

As the minutes ticked by, Elladan began to take notice that Elrohir seemed to be growing warmer in his arms and the elder twin smiled, relief coursing through him. He knew that would only happen if Elrohir's spirit had been healed some more. How he wished he could enter Elrohir's fëa and see for himself, but he didn't possess the same healing ability that allowed such things as did his father and younger brother. Only when connected through their bond did he have the ability to see in to Elrohir's heart. He would just have to wait until Elrond arrived. But this time, a he felt the warmth spreading through his twin, the wait was tolerable. Elrohir was going to be alright.

Dream Plane: So glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Elrond is always there to watch out for his boys : ) Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Elvish Terms:

Ada – Father (familiar)

Fëa – An elf's spirit

Muindor – Brother

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