I STARE AT THE REVIEW SECTION

I SEE NO REVIEWS OR RESPONSES WHATSOEVER

I STARE AND STARE AND CHECK AND RECHECK ENDLESSLY

AND THEN I SAY:

"Is there anybody out there?"

Keldeo the Critic- Season Six

Episode 7: Editorial 4- Pink Floyd's The Wall

"Is there anybody out there?"

Roxie said this as she looked between the locked door and closed blinds. She was strumming her guitar in a hauntingly depressing melody as she said this, feeling utterly alone and isolated at this point. Her playing then began slightly slower and filled with a greater sense of heart and mournful spirit as she started singing.

I've got a little black book with my songs in

I've got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in

When I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone in

I've got the bare necessities sure

But those things are hardly a cure

For the emotional pain and depression, torture so pure

My body is sure alright

But I haven't won the fight

I gotta make this big observation

One thing that I know

I can't get the thing I need

When I ask to be freed

There'll be nobody home

I've got the obligatory rock star hair

And I really couldn't bring myself to care

About the torn and frayed edges of the bottom of my shirt

I've got Rage Candy Bar stains on my fingers

I've got a obviously clear lack of Zen Mode

I've got this guitar just to to prop up my mortal remains

I've got wild staring eyes

I've got a strong urge to fly

But I've got nowhere to fly to

Ooh, Snivy, when I cry out all alone

There's still nobody home

I've got a pair of black punk boots

But I've got fading roots.

Roxie stopped playing suddenly a sighed as her mind began to drift to thoughts of a battle she had seen Lt. Surge have with a Gym Challenger. She had a quick meeting with him afterwords, and as she remembered his words, she began to sing.

Does anybody here remember Lieutenant Surge?

Remember how he said that we would meet again

Some sunny day?

Lieutenant Surge!

What has become of you?

Does your post war trauma ever haunt you?

Roxie suddenly found herself standing all alone in a train station. The place was seemingly abandoned, and eerily quiet. But then, Roxie began to hear drums in the distance. She turned and saw a huge group of people marching forward, complete with a marching band. As the crowd approached Roxie, they began to sing loud and strong.

"Our issues aren't that baaaaaad!

These protests make us glaaaaaad!

They don't affect us on a personal level!

We don't caaaaare about you!"

As the huge crowd of protesters passed Roxie by, many of the people pushing her out of the way as they continued to march on to voice their own gripes. Once the crowd had left, Roxie began to hear the sound of an alarm clock beeping. As the beeping grew louder and louder, Roxie could also hear the sounds of various voices getting louder as well. She could hear Snivy, her teacher, and even her manager pounding on her door. Roxie shut her eyes tightly against the building noise, and then suddenly said loudly and resolutely:

"Is there anybody out there!?"

Roxie found herself back in her room at the Pokemon Center, still sitting on the bed. She blinked her eyes once, and then reached over and grabbed her Nintendo DS. She turned it on, and after a second, Floyd the Pichu appeared on the screen.

Floyd looked back up at Roxie from within the screen, then he began sing while playing his guitar.

"Hello. . .

Is there anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me

Is there anyone at home?

Come on now

I hear you're feeling down

Well, I can ease your pain

Just go select 'New Game'

Relax

Soon we will begin this game

Are you a boy or a girl?

Can you please tell me your name?

There is no pain, you are receding

A new highscore or save point on the horizon

Steam and Nintendo sends out games in waves

Your lips move, the mic picks up what your're saying"

Roxie's eyes widened as she focused on the game in her hands, and she sang out in response.

"When I was a child I got sick once

I laid in bed and played Nintendo

Now I've got that feeling once again

I can't explain, you would not understand

This is not how I am

I. . . have succumbed. . .to an addiction"

Meanwhile, outside of the room, Roxie's manager, played by Jessie wearing a black suit-dress, was angrily pacing outside the door.

"Darn that Roxie! She needs to get out of there a perform! I need to make my money! Stupid child! I need to pick my cash-Miltank more carefully from now on!" Jessie said irately. She then pointed at James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet, who were there for some inexplicable reason, and said, "Alright you to! Knock down that door!"

Back inside the room, Roxie was still glued to her Nintendo DS. Her eyes wide as she sang in an almost hypnotized fashion.

"I. . . have succumbed. . .to an addiction."

There was a massive crash as the door was finally knocked down. As James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet laid on the floor, Jessie walked over them and strutted over to Roxie with a smirk on her face. She grabbed Roxie by the hair and forced her to look her in the face. The manager kept smirking as she started singing to Roxie.

"Okay. . .

You'd better get up quick

You know I've got your monnnnney!

I don't care if I make you sick

You'd better get up

You really love those games? Good

You need money to get more games

If you don't perform, it goes up in flames

There is no pain you are receding

You need the cash to feed your habit

Steam and Nintendo sends out games in waves

Your lips move, the mic picks up what your're saying."

Jessie let go of Roxie's hair, and the rock-star looked back down at her Nintendo DS and sang out nostalgically.

"When I was a child

I had no money worries

I went to school and played at home

I was carefree, but now those days are gone

I cannot put my finger on it now

The child is grown

The dream is gone

I. . . have succumbed. . .to an addiction."

Jessie the manager rolled her eyes, and she gestured with her hands for James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet to pick Roxie up. The three males did so, and Roxie, still glued to her Nintendo DS, was carried out of the room and all the way to the stage where she would be performing her latest concert.

Roxie was dumped unceremoniously on the floor backstage, her Nintendo DS flying out of her hands and landing on the ground. As the handheld gaming console slid out of reach, Jessie leaned over Roxie and said harshly, "Now snap out of it, focus, and start playing! Or else your career is OVER! The show must go on!"

The group of four walked away from Roxie, leaving her lying prone on the floor. She laid there for a moment, until she slowly began to get up, half moaning and half singing to herself as others chanted in the background.

(Aaaaaaaaaaaah)

(Aaaaaaaaaaaah)

"Ooh Dad! Ooh Dad!

Must the show go on?

Ooh Dad take me home!

Ooh Dad help me go"

Roxie tearfully looked around as she continued to sing mournfully.

"There must be some mistake

I didn't mean to let them take away my soul

Am I too old? Is it too late?

Ooh Dad! Ooh Dad!

Where has the feeling gone?

Ooh Dad! Ooh Dad!

Will I remember the songs?

Ooh ah! The show must go on."

Keldeo with Floyd riding on his back revealed themselves to be the chanters as they passed by.

Floyd shrugged and said, "Nothing much to add here. We didn't even have to change the lyrics that much. This song's pretty much self explanatory."

Keldeo nodded and added, "All the pressure and materialism and emptiness and depression has not only caused our protagonist to go into isolationist from the audience and the world at large. It's so sad."

Floyd then grinned and said, "But hey! The music REALLY picks up after this part, doesn't it?"

Keldeo couldn't help but return the Pichu's grin and say, "Yes. Yes it does."

We'll be right back. . .FOR THE FINALE!