I own nothing, but my OCs.

Rin/Hana/Kadai turned away. She looked toward the sidewalk under the bench. "I'm Kadai."

Mrs. Winters sat down next to her. "Do you have a sister or cousin, who looks like you?"

Kadai shrugged without looking back at her. A hand fell onto her own and rested gently there. She froze instead of jerking away.

The next moment, she knew it was a mistake. Rin shut her eyes. She "knew" she wasn't reacting right like she was Kadai. She wasn't acting weirded out, annoyed, or ticked-off like Kadai would. Deep down she was still Hana, and she still "liked" Mrs. Winters.

Maybe she'd let herself be too much of herself as Hana. She'd hoped, so badly, to never have to pretend to be anyone else ever again to remain "Hana." She knew deep down the real her was not "Hana," but she'd let Mrs. Winters words and actions sink down into the real her, a her that maybe wasn't even "Rin."

"Rin" had been a protective layer from Sensei, an exterior of behavior's and expressions, and even a voice meant to please her sensei. Sensei had spent most of every day, when Rin wasn't out on a job, with her student, checked in regularly with Rin when she had been on a job via payphones, and seen to her student's needs, but it was business. Everything was business with Sensei, or had been. But she had taught her to survive now … And she was flouting her teachings. She'd get Mrs. Winters and herself killed.

"Hana?"

She looked up and forward while pulling her hand away. Her voice came out bitter and hard. She'd play the anger card in a cold way. "My name is not 'Hana.'"

Mrs. Winters didn't flinch though she did draw her hand back. She sighed. "You're hiding from someone who hurt you, aren't you?"

Rin flinched. The old lady continued. "I know what that's like."

Now the younger woman started. She turned her stare upon Mrs. Winter's. The older lady met her gaze with a slow, sad smile. "'I' came here, to the big city, to escape my first husband."

The other woman's mouth fell open. Mrs. Winters continued. "My best friend, the only one whom I told where I was going to, and who Larry went to and broke the jaw of once to find out from, called to tell me when he died driving into a tree while drunk. I only felt relief at the news ..."

The younger woman continued to stare bug-eyed at the storyteller in silence. Like me when I found Sensei. Mrs. Winters continued in a softer tone. "Now, I can be sad a life was wasted, and then snuffed out. I sorrow for his soul too. I really do. I even sorrow for myself, all the excitement I had when I married young, thinking he would change under my influence, thinking we'd have a wonderful marriage, that all the problems we had before would get better in a marriage not worse." The older woman's eyes misted.

Rin's mouth fell open. She wasn't alone. When she was fourteen, she had entrusted her entire future to someone shouldn't have. And she had paid. A lot of people, it turned out, had paid for that.

She trusted this woman before her now, though, anyway, believed her to be wise. And this woman had done the same thing. Well, not quite … Still … it was … strangely comforting.

She, suddenly, knew how deep that wound had been for her, the feeling of stupidity she'd had, ever since she was sixteen and found out the truth about the woman who'd brought her to Sensei, who'd sold her to Sensei. Her one best, and strangely adult friend, who'd become her slaver. Maybe she wasn't the only one who'd hurt themselves and others by not seeing what she should have, before her life was sold away.

Her new, older friend continued. "Hana … I don't know your real name, or your real story. But always hiding, isn't living."

"If I don't hide, I won't be alive for long."

Mrs. Winters hummed to herself while looking down into her lap. "I can relate."

Rin let her eyes swivel and head turn to look at her. The older lady wasn't meeting her gaze, but staring at the sidewalk before her own feet. Probably she was looking into her own past too. The wrinkles of her face were apparent, but not deepened by pain. The slackness of her shoulders spoke of fatigue, but not stress. Her own seeming comfortableness in the scenario, bizarre as it was, even if she didn't know it, made Rin feel comfortable too.

She shouldn't feel so. Maybe she was tired as well. Maybe she'd given up.

Mrs. Winters continued. "I won't make you talk to me, dear, but you should to somebody. I improved a lot once I got good counseling on a regular basis. I can recommend somebody, even pay them for you."

"Why?"

"Because I prayed and asked God to let me find you again, after my favorite restaurant went into an uproar, because my favorite waitress ran out of it just after taking my order, and He did. Now, I want to help you as He sent others to help me not too long ago."

Rin stared ahead at the buildings across the street in despair. Then she heaved a sigh. "It's really not safe, for anyone, to meet with me especially not you."

Mrs. Winters stared ahead of herself for a moment before replying. "It really wasn't safe for my best friend to take my calls, or call me in return, but she did. Hearing her voice helped me during those days that I was technically safer, but everything in my surroundings was strange. It felt then, as if her voice was the one safe, familiar thing I had even if she annoyed the heck out of me like a sister."

The younger woman flinched. "Sister" made her think of Kimmi. She'd be … what … sixteen now? Wow …

She couldn't imagine Kimmi as a sixteen-year-old. Did she think of her big sis at all? Remember her?

Rin sighed deeply. Wow. "That" was a depressing thought. Another occurred to her.

Maybe … maybe I don't have to talk about my sensei, my targets … killing, Yoshi, Shredder, a rat-ninja in the sewers, or turtle babies … to this … counselor. Maybe, I can just talk about the family I lost, my mistake nine years ago that cost so much, leaving them, wondering about them now ...

And if the association finds the recipient of all this information, they will torture him, kill him, and go after your family too even if you haven't seen them in nine years.

Rin sighed and bowed her head. The tears flowed down her face. She answered Mrs. Winters in misery. "I can't …"

Instead of arguing, Mrs. Winters laid a hand on her shoulder. She answered in a soft voice. "Maybe you should pray about it a little, Dear. And I'll pray about it too." And "Kadai," the pizza delivery girl, wept …

. . .

Yoshi was trying to get his sons to like the new playpen he'd made for them. He wasn't getting very far. He "needed" to be able to leave the lair and scavenge sometimes, particularly now Rin was not coming down with food anymore. It terrified him to leave his sons so long alone in a large area of concrete and marble surfaces, sharp, pointy weapons hidden in various places they "still" managed to find, and even just their own competitive and risk-seeking instincts. The playpen was not working out well, however. He wasn't sure if he was disappointed or proud, but somehow, the turtles kept climbing out of it. He sighed to himself as he picked Donatello up … again.

As he stood straight, he saw a woman in baggy, dark clothes, and, dark heavy, makeup standing in front of him. He jerked back. She was glaring at him. He drew back and hunched over, preparing to sprint back to the pen, pick up his sons, and run. Then a familiar voice jolted some of the fear out of him. "Do I need counseling?"

Yoshi rose back to his full height and stared wide-eyed at her, "Excuse me?"

"Do you think I need counseling?"

He stared back at Rin. "I am trying to find a way to keep my sons contained, so I can scavenge for hours at a time! Why do you bother me with this? You were leaving and never coming back."

"And I'm trying to figure out if even sneaking into someone's office to tell them my 'least' dark, dangerous, and earliest secrets is worth it for the sake of a clearer mind for me!"

"I suppose 'you' are the best judge of that," Yoshi answered before turning around and walking away. Rin followed.

"But you know me! Sort of."

He paused in front of the makeshift playpen and lowered his son over its side. Rin stepped up to his side, still speaking in an animated voice. His ears folded back in frustration and minor pain. "I mean between Saki and The Association, I have deadly people after me, waiting for me to screw up, and I don't …"

Rin paused and blinked down into the playpen. "You're using old fencing from flowerbeds? Cover it with plastic at least, even garbage bags could work. They won't be able to climb up the slippery surface and it will create a protective lair between them and sharp points and edges. A thick layer of old newspaper covered in garbage bags, duct taped together around this frame should make this thing a lot softer, smoother, and less scale-able by our babies here." She grinned in at the turtles who were reaching for her.

Yoshi straightened, stared ahead at a wall, and tried the relaxing, mental exercises his father had taught him. "Rin. Did you bring my sons and I anything save advice, questions, and smiles today?" His ears flicked back in irritation again. "And shouts?"

She looked up at him in sympathy. "I would've brought food, but I work as a pizza delivery girl now. I told them I was just nineteen. I didn't think you wanted that ..."

"The food or the lie?"

"Uhhhh … Both come to think of it."

He finally turned to face her with a scowl. "And where did this idea of getting counseling even come from?"

"A favorite customer from the old Japanese restaurant I used to work for." She sighed. "I knew I liked her and she liked me, but I didn't think she'd recognize me now."

He looked her up and down before nodding. "Indeed, you do look different. Where is your ninja outfit?"

"I figured a girl in these clothes might have reasons for coming down here. Exploring a dark place to live out some dark fantasy, smoking in private, spray painting expletive-filled messages to future generations to vent. If anything, I look less suspicious this way."

"Indeed," Yoshi agreed. He ran his fingers down his beard as he frowned at her. "Let me ask you this, why are you even considering 'counseling'?"

Rin tilted her head while staring at the turtles. Her voice sounded hesitant. "I just … I've never told my story … to anyone. Sensei, kinda knew it, she kinda formed it. Without her, The Association, Saki, I just … I don't know … who I am anymore. I'm not who I was at fourteen. I haven't been anyone real since." She shrugged. Then she looked up at him. "I haven't had a real name, a real personality, in over nine years."

"You have a personality, Rin," Yoshi looked and bent down to pull Raphael's hands and feet free of a side of the pen he'd halfway climbed up. Yoshi and Rin both noticed Leo was beginning to climb up another side of it. She smiled at the sight, but glanced back to the rat-father. "What? What do you mean?"

"You have 'personality.' I see it every time you come here and talk to me, and the turtles. You are real as well." Otherwise I would have long since ceased imagining you ...

Rin grinned brightly at him. "Thank you, Yoshi."

He sniffed. "You are welcome." She began to stride away with a grin, but stopped when he called after her. "And next time you drop by bring pizza! It has to be better than what I and the boys eat now!"

She turned a dazzling smile upon him and then turned and continued walking. He smiled after her and then turned back to the turtles. They had all climbed to the top of a single side of the pen in a line along it and stared over it after her too with wet eyes. Yoshi's smile fell away. Uh-oh ...

What do you think?

God Bless

ScribeofHeroes