Chapter Sixteen

After The Fall

They didn't wake for four days after Flemeth rescued us.

Alistair woke first and just… stared at me. "He told me you knew… about whom my mother was. He told me you made him tell me about… he said… he said that I should trust you."

I sighed and sat on the bed. I had just come into his room to see if I could wake him. He didn't seem to notice that he was in only his small clothes under that blanket.

I sighed, "I do know. Fiona, the mage I mentioned to Loghain? I never actually met her, but she's your mother. I collected something from Duncan for you."

His dead eyes turned sharp. "What… what is it?"

I pulled out the earring and showed him. "Duncan knew he wasn't going to live that night, Alistair. He didn't know what Loghain would do, but he knew he wouldn't see you again. He asked me to give this to you."

"I… will you help me with it?" he asked. I chuckled, "You don't mind a little pain, right?"

"For this; no, I don't mind." I pulled out a needle from the sewing kit Aedan had packed into my bag back in Highever and held it to the fire. "Which ear?" I asked.

"Same as Duncan, I guess; the right one." I nodded.

Approaching him again, I stabbed quick and swiftly replaced the needle with the golden Earring. After, I poured a bit of Alcohol as a disinfectant.

He was hissing in pain but only said, "Thank you, Valeria… really. I was worried that I'd have nothing to…"

I smiled, "I understand, Alistair. Now, you should get dressed and come down for lunch." He suddenly went red as he finally noticed that he was wearing next to nothing.

"Right, I should…"

I headed downstairs and fed the dogs. Morrigan looked at me, "That took longer than last time…"

"He's awake and I stabbed him."

"You… what?" she sputtered

"I stabbed him – in the ear… with a needle."

"Why?"

"Well I asked him if I could stab him and he said yes, so I did."

"You jest."

I grinned, "Yeah. The earring belonged to that Rivaini man you met, Duncan. Alistair, or as you like to call him, the whiny one, thought of Duncan as a father so… anyway, I'm going to make him something to eat now that he's awake. Want anything?"

"I will eat whatever you are making. The last few things have tasted well enough." I smirked at her candid attitude. I made a beef stew with carrots, potatoes and onions. Flemeth had brought back 2 dead cows and I'd gotten to work breaking them down for meat and hide.

I was glad that Aedan had thought to pack spices and I'd thought to buy more when we were in Bann Lorens' lands. Just as the stew finished cooking, Alistair came down in a sort of a Daze. Morrigan glanced at his ear and then smirked at me.

"He actually asked you to stab him for that?"

I chuckled and tossed a slice of the bread I'd made yesterday at her. "Behave, please."

She rolled her eyes and went back to her book.

Alistair glanced at me with a face full of sorrow – the look of someone who had lost not only his best friend but also his father figure and only brother.

I smiled at him, "How are you feeling?"

"To know I had family… and then I lost it all. I'm feeling a bit crushed that the King put so much faith in a traitor."

I nodded, "That makes sense. Cailan was a good man, but he really was a bit of a fool…" Alistair glared at me. "Look, Alistair, I'm not going to sugar-coat shit and call it candy. Cailan chose to be in the Vanguard when he knew full-well that only a Grey Warden could end the Blight. Cailan didn't take the threat of the Darkspawn seriously and he put his trust into a man only because his father trusted him. Loghain abandon Cailan in an hour of need. Cailan was a good man, yes, but honestly he was risking his life and he knew it. I only managed to get him to name two heirs because he wanted to be in the vanguard."

Alistair sighed, "You're right."

Morrigan looked at me with wide eyes, "Seems he can be trained."

I shot her a look, "Keep that up, I dare you."

"What will you do to me?" she smirked. I glanced up at the door with a lifted eyebrow. Flemeth cackled and said, "Behave girl, these are our guests."

Morrigan gave me a nasty look. I looked to the former-almost-Templar and sighed, "After you eat, we're going outside to train." He nodded and took the bowl of stew I handed him.

Alim was actually tending to the men upstairs, so he didn't hear the hints of Alistairs' background.

We were out in the 'yard' training. If this was a fight where he was at full strength and wearing his plate armor, I wouldn't have won as often no matter what fancy martial arts I used – at least… not after he knew what to expect in a generalized way. I did teach him a few moves of my styles. He wasn't a Templar anymore, so it wasn't a no-no to teach him. Alim had come out and helped me with the training too much to Alistairs' surprise. It was then that he realized what he was learning was the source of Debate in Cumberland.

I saw movement in my peripheral vision and looked up. It was Elissa!

I flipped Alistair over my knee and finished the battle. Solona and Natia were close behind Elissa. Soon everyone was out. I bowed to Alistair, who bowed back the way I had taught him to do before and after each fight. Ghost barked at me and I rolled my eyes as he bowed too. He was a Drama King indeed.

Lis looked amused, "What… was all that?"

I waved my hand, "Some of it was Tai Chi – a martial arts form that promotes unity in ones' soul, mind and body. It's why both Alim and Solona are considered top tier Mages and why Cullen is a top tier Templar. I was teaching Alistair a few forms. It's easier to teach someone who has combat training."

Elissa looked impressed as I used a towel to wipe away sweat, "A single art can do that?"

I looked to Flemeth and coughed before saying, "So… old-hag-who-talks-too-much… any way we can repay you for your help?"

Others gaped at me as Flemeth snorted, "All that I wish you to do is what you were meant to do. It has always been the Grey Wardens duty to unite the lands against the Blight… or did that change while I wasn't looking?"

"No, it didn't change. We will make sure this Blight is defeated." Lee nodded.

"We were so close… The King had almost defeated them. Why would Loghain do this?" Alistair snarled.

I gave him a look, "Gee – why would the Queens' father let the Darkspawn kill the King, his heir and his spare? Gaia, I wonder, what could his plan possibly be?"

Alistair flushed as the others all snorted. Flemeth nodded, "Men's hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creature. Perhaps he believes the Blight is an army he can out-maneuver. Perhaps he does not see that the evil behind it is the true threat."

"The Archdemon," Alistair nodded.

"I don't care what Loghain hopes to do; I will not allow him to hold the throne as 'Regent' for too long." I growled. Alistair and Elissa stiffened. "He's hoping to control the throne?"

Alistair looked at her, "She's right; he is the Queens father. But I just can't see how he's going to get away with murdering the King."

"According to what I've been hearing from retreating soldiers and such, he's blaming the Wardens; saying that the Beacon was never lit."

I flinched at the unanimous volume of 9 people shouting in anger.

Alistair looked at me, "If Arl Eamon knew what Loghain did; he'd never stand for it. The Landsmeet would never stand for it. There would be a Civil war."

I nodded, "A lot of people are already rebelling, I think. Bann Loren's people know what happened in Highever, so when Loghain names Howe Tyren of Highever and Arl of Denerim on top of Arl of Amaranthine… they'll piece it together."

"He's going to do what?" Lis snarled darkly.

I shuddered at the danger in her voice and said delicately, "It was… a vision I had. Us confronting Howe about it…"

Alistairs' eyes went red, "Arl Eamon wasn't at Ostagar. He'll still have all his men…"

I nodded, "Add that to these lovely treaties for the Dwarves, Dalish, and Mages… we have an Army in waiting."

"Ha! We have two people for each treaty too – Natia and Duran for the Dwarves, Alim and Solona for the Mages, you and Theron for the Dalish since you wear Vallaslin and Theron calls you sister…" Aedan laughed.

"We also have Lady Cousland, Princess Vane and Alistair for Redcliff since Alistair was raised in Redcliff – he knows Arl Eamon personally, I think." I grumbled my title.

"So let's do this. Build an Army, fight the Blight… kill Loghain."

I was surprised at Alistairs' wording – you'd think he'd be a little softer.

Elissa smirked, "Why not? That's what Wardens do, right?"

Alistair nodded and Flemeth looked to me, "You are set then – ready to lead the Grey Wardens?" I rolled my eyes, "I'm not a Warden, you know."

"But they listen to you, and they need you."

Elissa raised her fist, "I'm in – if it means killing Howe, then I will follow your lead, sister."

Alistair nodded, "Brining Loghain to justice – count me in."

Alim laughed, "I'll follow you forever, Sensei!"

Duran nodded, "Duncan trusted you – I will too, Salroka."

Theron smirked, "Why not? With you in charge, we can't really go too wrong."

Solona grinned, "You know I'd follow you anywhere."

Kallian snorted, "After what you did in Highever? Was there ever a question I'd follow you?"

Natia shrugged, "Why not? Duncan literally already told us to follow you."

Flemeth smirked, "So? Will you do it?"

"I think the over dramatized unity salute cemented that."

She snorted, "I like you, child."

"Okay so… no Warden Armor and you need to change your looks a bit if you're well known… meaning me and Alistair and Elissa."

We tried cutting my hair but it grew back in an instant – I was actually pleased about that since I loved my hair. I chuckled, "Okay, new plan – I just use the elements to disguise us if needed."

"Good enough for me," Elissa said, dropping the scissors.

"Supper is bubbling mother. Shall we have any guests for the eve? Or none?" Morrigan asked.

"The Wardens are leaving shortly girl, and you are going with them." Alistair groaned and Morrigan said, "What?"

"You heard me girl. Last time I looked, you had ears."

I smiled, "An excellent idea!"

"Am I to have no say?" Morrigan looked desperate.

Alistair looked at me and asked, "Are you sure?"

"Oh come on! Her Magic will be useful, she knows the Wilds better than any of us and she's beautiful so she'd make a good distraction for the drooling idiotic men we encounter on the roads."

Morrigan gave me a disbelieving look, "I could if we wouldn't be traveling with at least one idiot to begin with."

Flemeth laughed, "You have been itching to get out of the Wilds for years; here is your chance. As for you Wardens, consider this… repayment for your lives."

Alistair groaned and Elissa coughed a laugh as they both looked to me. "Honestly… looks like I am the leader. In that case, she's coming with us."

Morrigan looked exasperated, "Mother, this is not how I wanted this!"

I gave Morrigan a look, "We need you, Morrigan; you know why."

She groaned, "Ugh, allow me to get my things, I guess."

Flemeth stared me down and opened her mouth but I held up a hand, "She won't come to harm with us, Asha'bellanar."

When Morrigan returned, she looked directly at me, "I suppose I am now at your disposal, then. I suggest a village north of the wilds as our next stop. 'Tis not far and we will find much we need there… or if you prefer, I will simply be your silent guide."

I gave her a smirk, "What is the use of silence? Speak and be heard, Morrigan. Besides, I can already hear the banter between you and Alistair and I'm looking forward to it so long as you two remember that attacking is meant for our enemies not our tolerated allies."

Flemeth snorted, "You might regret saying that." I shook my head as Morrigan gave me a victorious look, and I chuckled, "Just keep an eye on him and her yeah? If they try to cook, stop them at almost all costs. Their cooking will kill us."

Elissa nodded sagely, but Alistair pouted, "Hey!"

I shook my head, "Don't even try to deny it! Theron had to cook us all something else last time at the camp. Maker, Alistair – your cooking almost did what the Joining didn't! I swear I thought only Elissa was that bad of a cook."

"Right…" he pouted again and Morrigan glanced at me, "I know at least 15 different poisons that grow right here in this marsh…"

"I'm not asking you to cook, Morrigan; just stop Alistair if he tries." She nodded with a smirk, "That I can do."

"Then let's head out – we have quite a bit of ground to cover if we're going to get anywhere before night-fall seeing as it's already quite late…"

Flemeth snorted and said, "It was nice to see you, Valeria – at least someone was able to finish that research."

I smirked at her, "It's not the only research of yours I completed, crone. Just the one I'm most proud of."

She laughed and we all started walking. Elissa filled the silence, "You seem so different these days, Val…"

I nodded, "I'm not playing house anymore. I've known since I was born that I was this path, Lis… being a seer means you lose your innocent world-view young. Some of the things that have happened were unexpected, yes – but others…"

"… You knew my parents would die?" she asked in a low voice. I shook my head quickly, "I knew that I would have to leave home – I knew that I would go on an adventure… I didn't expect to lose my second family. Do you think I would let that happen if I could have stopped it? Do you think I wanted to watch our father drown in his own blood and leave our mother to buy us time? Gaia, Lis – I would have rather exposed my abilities to the world if I could have saved them! You know I can't see things that have to happen until it's too late. I loved them… you aren't the only one who lost them."

She flinched and stayed quiet as I moved further to the front of the group. The others all sort of curtained between us without words. I felt bad about lying to him, but it really did have to happen. And I would have stopped it if I'd been allowed to… but the visions said no.

When we made camp only 3 hours later, I took the first cooking shift. Lis spoke again, "I'm sorry, Val… I just… I guess I needed someone to blame and Howe isn't here…"

I glared at him, "You want someone to blame? So you picked me? I'm loved them too, Lis – I feel just as broken up about their deaths as you do – maybe more so because I already blame myself: If I were a better healer using the elements, if my potions were stronger, if I had just seen it… so many 'what if's running through my head. I have nightmares about it, Lis. I have to take a dreamless tonic once every few nights after I wake up in cold sweat because I just relived that night – finding Oriana, almost being too late for Oren, finding Landra, Ser Gilmore sacrificing himself for us, and then after all that, we found our father with a punctured lung – he drowned to death, Lis. The most I was able to do was spare him the pain, but I couldn't save him! And then, as if all that weren't enough, our mother gave her life to save us too! Do you have any idea how it makes me feel being in the middle of it all? Like I'm a fucking curse; like it's somehow my fault? Then we go to Ostagar and I had found that Duncan was like another father to me – and he died too! And in his case, I knew! I told him, I tried to save him… he accepted his fate – because he knew Cailan wouldn't believe it and wouldn't stay out of the fucking vanguard no matter what. Duncan died trying to save him, but he knew. You want to blame me? Fucking fine – I blame myself anyway. But you want to accuse me of not caring? Fuck you very much, Elissa!"

Since dinner was ready I stood up and said, "I've lost my appetite. Theron, Elissa you get to be a watch pair; Duran and Alistair will pair up too. Solona and Natia; Kallian and Alim; and for now, I will take a watch on my own… You can all figure out when each pair gets a watch – wake me for my turn… I'm going to bed."

The next morning, it seemed tense with everyone. No one spoke to Lis, and I think they were all offended on my behalf. Alistair was walking next to me today as he said, "So… dinner was good."

I gave him a funny look and said, "It was just soup…"

He shrugged, "But there was cheese bread."

I giggled, "Maybe next time I cook, I'll make you Cheesy Noodles."

He beamed, "I'd like that – you already know how much I enjoy cheese."

"Stole the kings' cheese and somehow managed to get out of punishment," I teased. He flushed, "Your influence, I'm sure. Um, so… Duncan really knew he would…?"

I nodded sadly, "Yeah… I told him just before the Joining, actually. That's when he gave me that earring for you and told me… he gave me the joining formula and told me where his shield was for you. Maker, I feel sick just… knowing that he went to death just because Loghain manipulated Cailan into thinking the Vanguard was where he needed to be all the while making it seem like that was the last thing he wanted."

"Loghain did what?" Theron asked horrified.

"Loghain kept on about how the vanguard was the place for glory and then tried to say that Cailan should be in a different spot for his safety. If he hadn't made it seem like he was trying to keep Cailan safe like a child, he may have been more inclined to listen. Loghain knew what he was doing. The ass blamed Cailan for something – I'm not sure what, but I think this goes deeper than Orlais."

Alistairs' face darkened, "I plan to take Loghains' head myself."

I smirked, "Actually, that is exactly what will happen – in an official duel at the Landsmeet as my champion."

Alistair perked right up, "Promise?"

"He is all yours. I'm still trying to decide if it will be Elissa or me who takes the final blow against Howe…"

Elissa sighed, "I'd let you if you'd forgive me…"

I snorted, "I already forgive you, Lis – you're my sister… how could I possibly stay mad?"

She gave me a weak smile, "Using the same logic, how could I have thought that of you?"

"Because trauma makes us do stupid things. You lost your family, your home, your king and almost your life – you looked to the only person who could have potentially known about it beforehand. But I can't see or prevent everything bad in this world, Lis. You realize that Howe didn't plan to kill me? He wanted to force me to marry Thomas to secure Highever and Loghains' support. I was the only one he wanted to take hostage. Don't get me wrong – he would have killed me if he couldn't bend me to his will – but he would have tried everything to force my hand before giving up. He would have used many forms of torture to try and break me… and I'm a woman, so I'm more susceptible to certain forms of torture that are harder to do to a man. Not impossible, just harder. I forgive you Lis – but don't ever think I don't care again. I probably care more than anyone else in this world… second only to Andraste and the Maker."

Theron snorted, "They aren't in this world, Lethallan…"

I looked at her with a knowing smirk, "How do you know, Theron? Perhaps there is heaven on earth – or perhaps there are times of peace simply because the gods will it to be so. I personally believe in the existence of other worlds and other religions that have their own gods – and perhaps they are all right."

"… Okay, now I have to know what makes you think like that?" Elissa said, "This isn't the first time I've heard you say something like that, Val – other worlds, other gods… what do you know?"

Lona scoffed, "She has memories from a past life – not on this world. Part of her visions of the past can show her that previous life."

I sighed, and I decided to be cautious, "I have met Mythal of the Elven Pantheon – the skull of a space creature is in the trophy room of the Winter Palace in Orlais. When I was in the fade at one point, I met a spirit of Wisdom who held great fondness for Fen'Harel though it had not seen him in so long. There are more… miraculous things that I experienced, but I dare not tell until I have permission to do so. This world is remarkable and there are things each day to prove the Maker is still involved."

"You met Mythal? How… when?" Theron sputtered. I shrugged, "It was fairly recent though I've known of her for far longer than one would think. I also know many things that the Dalish have forgotten. I know without a doubt that things happen for a reason."

We continued making small-talk all the way to our next camp site. When we did make camp, it was Therons' turn to cook. I was lying with my head on Elissas' lap when Alistair suddenly spoke up.

"Valeria… you haven't eaten since we were at Flemeths' hut…" the camp went still. Damn… I thought none of them had noticed at all. I gave him a look, "Ron is cooking now, Alistair – I'll eat when it's ready."

Elissa sighed, "I didn't realize I'd upset you that much…"

I shook my head, "You didn't – I just wasn't hungry. I don't need to eat. I can use the elements to sustain my body for prolonged periods of time. It's more efficient and consumes less food. That makes it so I never have to stop for a latrine brake so be sure to speak up if one is needed."

It was Natia who spoke, "Ancestors' tits – that would have been great to have living in Dust Town."

I chuckled, "Wouldn't it? At least I know that if something happens and I get stranded, I'll be okay. Now, Alim… braid my hair?"

He sighed but nodded. I happily clapped as I sat up and moved to be in front of him. Alistair watched closely and even came to sit near us. Lee looked at him confused as he finished combing my hair out.

I giggled, "He wants to learn, Lee – why not show him how? Elissa, dear sister – do you mind being his test dummy? Or I can do it while Lee demonstrates on your hair…?"

She shrugged and sat in front of Alim while handing Alistair a comb. He took it with a blush. She said, "It's easier to learn on longer hair – yours is longer than mine."

The first thing Lee said was, "First, you want to gently comb the hair – it's harder to braid if you have even a tiny knot in the hair. Valeria invented these metal fine-toothed 'combs' is what she calls them. The hair-brushes that nobles like are also something she invented, and can work just as well, but a comb will make it easier to see where the knots are. Don't tug when you find a knot – pull the comb away and… ah – see, here? Watch…" He had found a small knot on Elissa.

Lee had a steady, gentle hand when it came to this and it could feel really nice, even when he was softly pulling the knots free by hand – Elissa looked content. I felt Alistair begin to hesitantly comb my hair – he was very gentle.

"Right then, normally the next part would be to part the hair into three sections for a basic braid – or don't part it at all for what she calls a 'French' braid. Since that's the one Val likes, that's the one we will do this time. You take the handle of the comb and carefully run it like this…"

Alistair was actually a natural at it. I swear if I was a cat I would be purring. When I was 7 back on earth, my mother once warned me that it was a hazard of having long hair that one would love having their hair played with, head scratched or rubbed… I think she was right. Even Mother – Eleanor Cousland – loved it.

Elissa chuckled as I dozed with my head in Alistairs lap. The almost-Templar was stammering as Lee said, "That is something that can happen too – Val gets so peaceful when someone is playing with her hair that she falls asleep. Maker – it's how I got stronger. Between her, Elissa and our hounds falling asleep wherever and me having to carry them to their beds… Buster weighs more that she does, though she refuses to believe it."

"This is… inappropriate…" Alistair muttered.

Lis snorted, "Then shove her aside – she might wake up, she might not… depends how deeply asleep she is."

"She trusts us, or she would have gone to the Aravel to sleep – it's like her tent. Hey, Theron, how did she get to associate with your clan when they don't trust humans?"

Theron began reciting the tale as I fell deeper into sleep.