A/N Hey everyone, look, I actually got another chapter written! I wanted to write this little fluff filler piece as sort of a thank you to all my very patient followers out there. Thank you so much for sticking with me through not only my Slice of Life saga, but all my quirky little stories and shorts. (Especially all the random stuff in my Shortman Shorts file!) Anyway, I thought I'd try to brighten your day with a bit of humor just a hint of some Shortman bow-chicka-wow-wow, LOL. I do hope you enjoy.
As Time Goes By
Chapter 20
The sun has just started to lighten the night sky as Patrick makes his way down Vine Street. Once he reaches his destination, he turns the corner and heads towards the backyard. Running his body along the old fence, he finds the loose board he's looking for and gives it a push with his snout. It takes a bit of effort, but he is eventually able to squeeze himself through the narrow opening in the fence and into the backyard. He wastes no time in entering the boarding house through the kitchen's dog door, and once inside, he sets out searching for Agnes.
A quick glance around the kitchen tells him that she's not there, so he heads first to the family room, and then to the more formal living room. With both rooms empty, he turns and quietly heads up the stairs. He is about to head to the stairway that leads up to Phillip's room when he picks up the faint sound of snoring. Leaning his right ear into the sound, he turns towards the direction of the snores and notices that one of the doors stands slightly ajar.
Being careful not to make any noises, he creeps up to the door and slowly pushes it open. The first thing to catch his attention is an old canvas tent that sits out of place in the center of the room. Just outside of the tent sit three, child-sized camping chairs, and an array of empty food wrappers. Never one to pass up a snack, he noses around the discarded wrappers and hits pay dirt when he stumbles upon a half full bag of potato chips. He snorts out a quick "Eureka!" and sets about devouring his prize. Throwing caution to the wind, his grunts become louder as he licks up every last bit of salty goodness, catching the attention of his sister.
Agnes lays comfortably spooned up against a sleeping Phillip when the sounds of her brother's indulgence wakes her up. She gives a startled lift of her head, then sits frozen in place, waiting to make sure she hasn't woken Phillip. Once satisfied that he is still sound asleep. She slithers out of his embrace, and delicately steps over the other two boys as she leaves the small tent.
Walking up to her brother, she picks up the scent of potato and salt when they touch snouts in greeting. Looking down, she sees the empty bag and admonishes Patrick for not having the common decency to leave her some. With a grunt, he dismisses her complaints and heads for the door. She goes into sulk mode as she follows behind, letting out an annoyed grunt every so often for good measure.
Patrick stops short right outside of Helga and Arnold's bedroom, which causes Agnes to bump into his back side with a squeal. He is quick to face her, and gives her a quieting grunt so as to not wake up the sleeping couple that lay just beyond the bedroom door.
Picking up on his cue, she continues to quietly follow him up the stairs to Phillip's room. Luckily for them, the door is not closed, and they enter the room, with Patrick making a beeline for Mr. Cheezy's cage. He searches the cage but does not see his little friend. Giving the cage a nudge with his snout, he lets out a small grunt. On the other side of the cage hangs a small cloth house in the shape of a pineapple. There is a moment of movement from the rat house before the small, whiskered face of Mr. Cheezy can be seen peeking out from the opening. Mr. Cheezy gives a stretch, his little paw reaching out of the pineapple's opening, as he opens his mouth in a huge yawn. With a twitch of his whiskers he picks up the scent of his good pal, Patrick.
Knowing that whenever Patrick shows up good food and adventure is soon to follow, he is quick to make his way to the cage door. He gives his friend a welcoming blink of his eyes and watches as Patrick deftly unlatches his cage. With a quick lift of his snout, the cage door opens just enough for Mr. Cheezy to worm his way outside of the cage and onto Patrick's head. Settling himself comfortably between Patrick's shoulder blades, he is ready for whatever adventure Patrick decides to take them on.
The trio of friends make their way back down the stairs to the second floor. Patrick starts to head back towards the main staircase when Agnes runs in front of him and blocks his path. Patrick gives her a confused grunt and she shakes her head no and starts to walk towards the stairs that lead up to the roof. Curious to see what she has in mind, Patrick follows her up the stairs.
Giving the door a good push, Agnes walks onto the roof and steps aside for Patrick to follow. Once outside, Patrick looks around the roof top, amazed at the forest of trees that greet him. With another grunt, Agnes leads them through the roof top forest to a long buffet table, the top of which is still laden with the leftovers from the previous night's affair.
It doesn't take long for the smell of old food to hit both Patrick and Mr. Cheezy's nostrils, causing the former to salivate uncontrollably as he heads for the table. Once close enough, Mr. Cheezy leaps off of his makeshift taxi, and heads for a tray of leftover cheese and crackers. He finds a still intact cracker and picks up the round disc of buttery crispness, carrying it away to a quiet corner of the rooftop to enjoy in peace.
Meanwhile, Patrick lifts his snout towards the tabletop, breathing in the intoxicating smells. He reaches his face up to the table and is barely able to rest his chin on its top. A bit of cheese sits just out of reach, and no matter how far he stretches, he is unable to grab hold of it. He looks over and sees Agnes as she stands with her front hooves placed firmly onto the tabletop. His stomach gives a grumble as he watches her devour a crusty bit of French bread.
Seeing her like that gives him an idea and he looks around for something that can be used to give him a boost onto the table. He finds a wooden box in a far corner of the rooftop, and pushes it to the table. He places first one, then both of his front feet onto it, testing it for strength. Satisfied that it is strong enough to hold him, he now uses it to climb onto the table.
Watching her brother closely, Agnes will not be left out, and soon joins him. The two are in Heaven as they scour the table, eating up morsel after morsel of forgotten food. All caution has now been thrown to the wind, and neither one is aware of how loud their grunts are becoming.
Hearing the commotion the two swine's are making, Mr. Cheezy decides it best that he finish his cracker in the safety of his pineapple, so he leaves the two to their frenzy and he makes his escape with the cracker still in his mouth, back down to Phillip's room and the safety of his cage.
xxxxx
Still half asleep, Phillip lets out a large yawn as he gives his arms a good stretch. Relaxing once more, he lowers his arms, and reaches out for his pet pig. His embrace is greeted by empty air, so he stretches a bit further, patting the floor in search of Agnes. When he comes up empty-handed, he slowly opens his eyes and looks around without lifting his head. Rolling to his back, he checks his other side and once again comes up short. He sits up now and gives a visual search of the inside of the tent.
His eyes first fall on his friends, Gerry and Otto, as they lay wrapped up in their sleeping bags. Scattered about the tent he sees a few candy wrappers, a deck of cards, empty Yahoo bottles, and various other items from the night before, but no Agnes.
He gives his legs a kick as he attempts to squirm out of his sleeping bag. His foot accidentally hits Gerry in the head, causing the boy to let out a startled "Hey!"
Phillip stops his kicking and quickly apologizes to his friend. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jer, I didn't means to kick you."
Gerry sits up now and rubs his head. "That's okay, what's wrong? You not feeling well?"
Gerry reaches for his slippers. "No, I's fine, I just don't sees Agnes is all. She was sleeping right next to me when we went to bed, and now she's gone."
"Oh, well maybe she had to go potties or something."
Phillip thinks about it for a minute. "Maybe, but I should find her anyway before my mom gets up cause I pwomised I would look after Agnes if she'd let her sleep wiff us in the tent."
"Oh, okays, I'll help you look." Gerry responds while putting on his slippers.
The conversation has now woken up Otto, and there is a hint of irritation in his speech. "Aw, what's you guys making so much noise for? It's like the middle of the night still."
"No it's not." Phillip says as he makes his way towards the tent's door. "It's alweady morning."
Otto watches as his two friends exit the tent. He follows without bothering to put on his slippers. "Hey, where are you guys going?"
Gerry talks over his shoulder to his friend. "We're going to go look for Agnes. She's missing."
He has caught up to his friends by the time they make it to the hallway, and he is stopped in his tracks when Phillip turns around with his finger to his lips. "Shhh, we has to be vewy qwiet so we don't wakes up Joy. My mom gets vewy gwumpy when someone wakes up Joy."
The boys are quick to lower their voices at the thought of a grumpy Helga. "Okay, then, where should we look first?" Otto quietly asks.
Phillip takes the lead and gives the boys their assignments. "Otto, you go look out back in case she went out to go potties. Gerwee, you check the downstairs living room, and I'll check Joy's room. Sometimes she like to sleep by Joy's cwib."
With silent nods of their heads, the boys separate and go about their appointed tasks, meeting back in the upstairs hallway to go over their findings. With Agnes nowhere to be found they decide to check out Phillip's room next.
They tiptoe silently down the hallway, stopping when they reach Arnold and Helga's room. They quietly listen and can hear what sounds like muted voices coming from the other side of the door. Pressing his ear closer to the door, Phillip makes out his dad's voice as he calls out his wife's name.
Phillip pulls away from the door and whispers to his friends. "We has to be careful, my dad's awake and I thinks he's pwaying cause I heards the word God a lot."
Agreeing that they need to be as quiet as they can, the three boys climb the stairs to Phillip's room. As they pass by Mr. Cheezy's cage, the rodent peeks his head out the door of his Pineapple, a couple cracker crumbs stick to his whiskers. Satisfied that the boys have no interest in him, Mr. Cheezy retreats back into his house to finish his meal.
The boys are about to give up hope when they hear a commotion coming from up on the rooftop. Climbing the wall ladder, Phillip lets out with a loud. "Oh my gosh!" when he sees two pigs gorging themselves on last night's leftovers. Phillip opens one of the panels of the skylight and scurries onto the roof.
"What's happening?" The other two boys shout as they follow their friend out the window. Once they've joined their friend, Phillip points towards the buffet table.
The three shoot each other a disbelieving look then turn back towards the pigs. They let out with shouts of "Get down from there!" and "Stop!" as they run up to the pigs.
By now both Patrick and Agnes are aware that their impromptu dining has come to an end, and the sounds of shattering plates mix with wild grunts as they scurry across the table and out of reach of the boys.
The sound of squealing now wafts down to the street below and through the boarding house as the boys begin to chase the pigs around the rooftop. At one point Otto is pushed into one of the many trees, knocking it into the one next to it, which, in turn, causing a domino effect of falling trees, the last of which falls into what's left of a majestic ice reindeer sculpture, causing it to crash to the ground and break into a million icy shards.
The boys meet up by the fallen deer and look for any movement of pink among the greenery of the trees. Gerry raises a hand and points towards the rooftop door. "Look, there they go back into the house!"
"Come on!" Phillip yells while making a beeline back towards the house.
xxxxx
Arnold gives a slight stir as the remnants of a dream slowly fade back into the far recesses of his mind. Rolling to his side, his body picks up the heat that emanates off of his sleeping wife. His nostrils pick up her scent, sending it straight to his hypothalamus. The corners of his mouth turn up in a small smile as he burrows in closer to her. A familiar tingle sets his heartrate to double as a good portion of his blood leaves his brain for destinations more south of the boarder.
He begins to breathe harder as a recently neglected part of him begins to stir, growing in size with each pump of his heart. He buries his face at the back of her neck and breathes in deep while sliding an arm across her body. He pulls her into him, his now swollen member pressing into her backside. His hand comes up and grazes her breasts that sit covered by a silken nightgown. His touch stimulates her nipples, causing them to harden and drip with precious milk that is meant for their newborn child. He feels the hardened nub through her nightgown and his body shudders involuntarily while he moans in her ear.
Pulling up the hem of her gown, he reaches for "Little Arnold" now, and places him between her bare legs, relishing in her warmth as he repeatedly rocks his hips into her. By now she is awake, and allows herself a moment to enjoy the feel of his touch. She grinds back into him, his hardened rod massaging her until the very core of her screams out for more. She longs for him to be inside of her, but it is too soon as her body is not yet healed from the trauma of delivering Joy.
Regretfully, she pulls away from him and rolls over so they are face to face. Placing her hands to his cheeks, she kisses him. Her tongue reaches out for his and playfully dances across it before he becomes more aggressive and shoves his tongue deep into her mouth.
Losing control, he begins to roll on top of her when she places both hands to his chest, stopping him. He continues to kiss her as she tries to speak. "No, Arnold, we can't."
Coming to his senses, he backs off and rolls onto his back. She turns to face him, holding herself up with one arm while her free hand caresses his chest. He looks up into her blue eyes. "I'm sorry, I lost control there for a moment."
She leans down and kisses the tip of his nose. "I know, so did I." She looks down at his still throbbing member, and gently grabs it. With her eyes back on his, she slowly strokes him. "Doctor said, no sex for six weeks. But that doesn't mean we can't still have fun."
He reaches up to brush the hair out of her face, his mouth turning up into a mischievous smirk. "Oh really now? And just what kind of 'fun' do you have in mind?"
She leans down, and kisses both cheeks. "Oh, I think you can figure it out."
His voice grows husky and low. "I think I'm getting the hint."
Her kisses trail to his neck and she takes a moment to bite his shoulder while giving him a hard squeeze, causing him to let out with the first of his "Oh God's."
She smiles at his exclamation and continues down to his chest where she stops to give each nipple a quick suck and a bite, thus eliciting "Oh God" number two to pass his lips.
Encouraged, she gets back to business by running her tongue up and down his left ribcage. When she reaches his hip she works her way to the middle of his body where he stops to watch his face as she continues to stroke him.
His features are strained with a look of sweet pain as she starts and stops her stroking. Leaning down, she continues to tease him by flitting her tongue across the very tip of him. She can taste his salty goodness and it stirs up a fire of her own deep inside of her.
Losing control, she takes him fully into her mouth, sucking hard as her tongue continues to dance across his sensitive tip. He grabs her head now, holding it in place as he thrusts his hips hard enough for him to reach to the far back of her throat. He lets out with an even louder "Oh God!" as they fall into a rhythm of sucks and thrusts.
He's close now, close enough to fill her mouth with a flood of his pent up passion and desire, when their intimate joining is interrupted by a loud crash. The noise startles Helga, causing her to accidentally clamp down on the obstruction that fills her mouth. Arnold lets out with a yell, all thoughts of sweet release pushed from his mind as Helga releases him from her grip.
Helga starts to apologize to Arnold when the sounds of grunting pigs and yelling children can be heard up on the rooftop. "What the hell's going on?" Arnold yells as he gets out of bed.
"How the hell should I know, Arnold?" Helga yells back.
His feet hit the floor and he runs to the other side of the bed before being stopped by Helga. She points down to where Little Arnold still sits peeking over the top of his pajama bottoms. "Um, don't you think you should put that away before you go charging out into the unknown?"
Arnold looks down and blushes as he shoves himself back into his pants. "Oh, yeah, I guess that would be a good idea."
They reach the hall when another crash can be heard from above. This time it is Joy who lets out with a yell, presenting the parents with a dilemma. Arnold yells as he continues to head to the rooftop stairs. "You take care of Joy, and I'll see what's going on up on the roof."
"Okay." Helga yells back. "Just be careful!"
Arnold nods his head as he disappears into the stairwell. He gets halfway up the stairs before stopping in his tracks. A look of terror hits his face when he sees two good sized pigs come barreling towards him. He is hit first by Patrick who knocks him into the handrail, and he has no time to catch his breath as Agnes shoots quickly between his legs. He watches as the two pigs descend the stairs and disappear into the hallway.
No sooner are they out of sight when the sounds of screaming boys hits his ears. He stops the boys as they run down the stairs, determined to find out what happened. He turns them, marching them back up the stairs, a look of shock hitting his face when he sees the damage that has been done.
He walks through the devastation of fallen trees and shattered ice, being careful to step over what looked to be the melting remains of a severed antler. He notices that one of the tall propane heaters has fallen over, narrowly missing the glass skylight of his old bedroom. He walks over to the table that just last night held such mouth-watering delicacies, only to find it covered in pate laden hoof prints.
He slowly turns to see three guilty faces staring back at him. Tears fill little Gerry's eyes, while Otto does his best to avoid eye-to-eye contact. Phillip takes a careful step forward and begins to speak only to have his father raise his hand in a command of silence. He looks at all three boys and does his best to not let his temper get the best of him. "Not now, Phillip. What I want for you to do now is to quietly turn and head back into the house. Go clean up your sleeping bags and stuff, and we will discuss just what happened up here later."
Willing to avoid a bawling out in front of his friends, Phillip is quick to nod his head and usher his overnight guests back into the house. The three boys are quiet when they pass Helga and Joy in the hallway. She looks from the boys to the opened stairway door and chooses looking for Arnold over giving the boys the first degree.
When she steps out onto the roof she, like her husband did before her, takes a moment to let things sink in. She follows the same path Arnold took, carefully stepping over the same fallen trees and reindeer bits. She looks at the meaty hoof prints that dot the buffet table and a soft giggle begins to escape her. At first Arnold is confused by her reaction, and it isn't until he really takes in what he is seeing that he can find at least a small shred of humor in the situation.
Helga looks at him once she's finally able to talk. "It's a good thing the Princess decided not to spend the night last night. She'd go ballistic if she saw this."
Arnold nods his head in agreement. "I know. I can just hear her now, 'really, Arnold, how on earth could you let a thing like this happen?'"
Helga's giggles start up again, and she holds onto her stomach as she laughs. "Ha ha, that's exactly what she would say." She turns back to look at the mess that surrounds them. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about cleaning this mess up. There should be a cleaning crew coming later today to take care of it."
"Heh, they're probably going to wonder just what sort of wild party we threw up here."
Joy lets out with a small cry, finally bringing her parents attention to her. Helga gives her a little pat on her bottom and nods her head towards the stairs. "Well, we'll worry about what they have to say later. As for now I think this one's ready for her breakfast."
Wrapping his arm around Helga's shoulders, he leans in and kisses her cheek as they walk. She looks at him and smiles. "What was that for?"
"Well, you went to bed so early last night that I never had a chance to give you your New Year's kiss."
She nods her head in understanding. "Well, let's just hope that this morning's fiasco is no indication of what the rest of the year has to hold."
He runs the last half an hour through his head and cringes. Pulling her closer to him as they continue to walk he is quick to agree. "Well, you can definitely bet that I'm keeping both my fingers AND my toes crossed for insurance."