Chapter 22 - Break Free
Ariana Grande
Author's note:
Thank you guys so much for the kind reviews this last week! I'm glad you approve of my characterization. It seriously helps so much with the motivation to read your kind words. I will include a chapter after the epilogue of the story (which by the way is 22 pages long) with background info, and my storyboard process. Until then, feel free to PM me with any burning questions you have. Enjoy.
Kakashi was staring down at his father's grave. He stood there silent as the soft pitter-patter of the rain hit his head and shoulders. This was a regular ritual for him, rain or shine, but at the news of Jiraiya's death last month Kakashi found himself standing for much longer than he had anticipated.
So many of his friends had died recently…
A few hours later Kakashi walked up to the front of his house soaked through. As he unlocked the front he heard some movement inside.
"Okaeri~" Ren said with a warm smile from his kitchen table. She had two plates of what he expected were cold leftovers from one of the okonomiyaki places in town placed on either side of her.
He smiled.
He thought back to when they were recently walking through town and came across Asuma, Kurenai and their new baby. When Ren saw them she had stopped in her tracks and stared at them with her mouth slightly agape.
Initially Kakashi had been worried that seeing Asuma and Kurenai with their kid had triggered Ren's pain over her life as Karen. But then he realized he was observing something different.
After a moment her mouth had closed and turned up with a smile showing her dimples, the same way she was looking at him now. As she had approached the couple he noticed that Ren was happy to see them. There were tears in her eyes, but not tears of despair.
She cooed to the baby that Asuma was holding, and they engaged in brief small talk with the couple. The moment was short and simple, but something… something about it changed Ren. It was as if from that moment she was able to finally put aside the shroud of darkness that Orochimaru had put on her.
He had just stared at her then; witnessing the change that came over her, so subtle, and yet so apparent to him. Ren always talked of how "time was not her friend", but when it came to healing, he disagreed. She was radiant.
His mind went back to the present.
"Ah - Sorry, I completely forgot about dinner tonight." Kakashi said. "I was…"
"No worries, I know." She stood up and threw a towel over his head that was waiting on the couch- as if it was her home and not his that he was entering. "Go change, and I'll heat our food up."
"Ja… Thanks."
Kakashi walked into his room. He switched for a dry black shirt and heard the sink turn on and off. He smiled at the pleasant humming that accompanied Ren whenever she thought no one could hear from the other side of the door.
He took off the wet mask, and didn't bother putting on a new one- at least not while Ren was here. There was no need.
Ren woke up and blinked her eyes open. It was morning, and she had dreamt of the Akatsuki. Obito's face was the last thing she saw before the adrenaline woke her up. She heard dogs bark outside of her house and felt the heat that the sunlight brought into the room. Her pulse calmed. She stared at the ceiling.
She didn't know how to bring up Obito. Before she had left the village, Ren had made the folder with all of the information on the Akatsuki, however she had only told the Third by word of mouth the information about Obito being Tobi.
Based on Kakashi's continued kindness since her return, and lack of questions on the subject, she worried that the Third Hokage never had the chance to impart that damning information before his death by Orochimaru.
And if he hadn't…
Ren sat up in her bed and stared at her feet, wishing it was easier to do what she needed to do.
She cared so much for Kakashi. He was her rock when she returned to the village. There's no way she could have come so far without him. But… she didn't want to tell him this secret, didn't want to shatter this image of his best friend, or tell him anything that would drive a wedge in between them. And the more time passed the worse she feared.
Ren stood up finally and brushed her hair. She looked at her appearance in the mirror. She was much healthier now. She had gained back her normal weight and color had returned to her cheeks. But when she stared into the mirror she felt an eerie sense of similarity to Orochimaru once again.
It had been weeks since she felt that way.
As she stared she wondered if this is how Orochimaru felt about all of the secrets he kept from her. Did he worry about how she would react, or was he selfishly indifferent to it all? She would probably never know.
But what she did know was that it was those secrets which destroyed and perverted their friendship, and she would not let it happen with Kakashi.
"So… Where are you taking me?" Kakashi asked.
"Nowhere in particular… I just figured we could take a walk." Ren replied scratching the back of her neck.
She seemed uneasy, and wouldn't make eye contact with him. Truthfully she had been acting strange all morning… He wondered what this conversation she wanted could be about.
"Mm." He nodded casually.
They walked down a forested path near the area where they trained sometimes. The day was pleasant despite being the middle of summer, and the cicadas buzzed loudly from the trees. Ren walked in front of him when their path narrowed.
Her ponytail swayed from side to side in front of him revealing delicately toned muscles of her back.
When the path widened Ren remained silent, as if she were trying to get the courage to tell him something. They walked side by side in the shade for sometime.
It made him uneasy. It was as if… she was going to confess something to him. Like… feelings. He felt strange. Why would you even assume something like that Kakashi? He chastised himself.
"... Are you hot?" Ren asked him.
"Huh?"
"Your face looks pretty red. Are you feeling okay?"
No, she wouldn't do something like that.
"I'm okay." He said.
She gave him a dubious look and then took a deep breath.
...But if she was going to confess, what would he do?
Kakashi had seen many confessions throughout the course of his days. Women had both figuratively and on occasion literally thrown themselves at him for most of his life. He had dealt with confessions often enough to not be nervous about them. In fact most of the time he was hardly aware that they were occurring. So… why was this any different?
"Kakashi, I have to tell you something…"
"...Yeah?"
"Something about your friend… Obito…"
Kakashi released the breath he had been holding. This was not what he had expected, and yet somehow despite the topic he felt relief.
"Kakashi, I just want to say first, that I have never meant to keep any secrets from you. I mean you are my best friend, and I - I would never do anything to hurt you."
She paused and twisted her fingers in her hands anxiously.
"But… I know some things about your friend Obito. And I must confess that I've known for quite some time… I -"
"Ren,"
She looked up at him, with a nervous look.
"Ren, I know. I've known for a couple of years now."
"You… have?"
He nodded. "The Third Hokage told me before… you left."
"... He did?" She looked at him incredulously.
"Mm."
"Then why… Why didn't you react? Or push me away?"
"Why would I do that?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Why WOULDN'T you? I gave information, with no evidence, that tarnishes the image of your best friend… and you are just okay with that?"
"Obito is still the same to me." he said touching the scar on his eye. "I've preserved that image of him, and it will never tarnish. I was hurt in the beginning. But- I wasn't ever angry with you. I know you would never say something like that without reason."
Kakashi thought back to when Hiruzen told him the news about Obito's identity as an Akatsuki member. He had wanted to talk with Ren about it, but with the girlfriend and all of the dreams Ren was having, he just kept pushing it off until it was too late.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't brave enough to tell you myself until now." Ren confessed.
"You don't have to apologize for anything…" he added uncomfortably. "You didn't ask for that knowledge, I know that."
Ren's eyes started to dew up and she looked down to avoid his gaze. "I just don't understand how you are always so good… you have every reason in the world to hate the village, take revenge on several people, and yet you just continue on."
The attention made him uncomfortable. "Life hits me the same way it hits other people… I'm no different from them."
She laughed and wiped a tear that came down her face.
"But that's where you are wrong, Kakashi. You are so different from most of them."
She looked up to him smiling with big wet eyes. She walked forward, put her arms around his neck and pulled herself in close. Her cheek rested against his and her hair smelling of vanilla overwhelmed him. At first he wasn't quite sure what to do, not being used to such intimate hugs, but after a moment he found that the comfortable thing was to put his arms around her waist and hug her back.
And to be honest with himself, it felt pretty good.