"Ah! Hello, Kat!"

I step into his workspace. "Hey, Omid."

"What does Kat need? New suit?"

"Yeah, actually," I admit, awed when he hands me a stack of three.

"Careful wit' dem. Can only make so many at a time."

"Right. Sorry."

Errands complete for the day, I change into a uniform just for shits and giggles, pop a few pills for my returning headache, and cross the hall. I knock on Rude's door three times, crossing my arms as I wait. He opens the door with an eyebrow raised.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I—" I stop, shaking my head. "Sorry. Is Reno here?"

"… You came here to look for Reno?"

"Well, is he?" Rude sighs and steps back, letting me in.

"Yeah."

"Then get off my back," I scold, stepping inside and standing on my toes to see Reno sitting by himself at the kitchen counter, head held up on his chin and fingers turning a coin over and over. Sighing, I brush past Rude, sitting down beside his partner and staring hard at the counter.

"What do you want?" he asks, voice sullen.

"To talk."

"…" Reno looks over his shoulder at Rude, who shakes his head and heads to his room to leave us alone. Once the door closes, he speaks again, sitting up and crossing his arms. "Spill."

"Why are you mad at me?" I ask. When he starts to protest, I shake my head and pick a dog hair off his knee. "Don't give me that look. You've spent too much time around Tseng."

"Oh, you mean your uncle?"

"Is that why?" I scoff. He shakes his head.

"No, it's just… I dunno. I know you're not here for no reason, but the rest of us had to work our asses off. People got cut all the time and found new shit to do. But you—"

"I know." I sigh, resting my arms on the counter. "I haven't done anything remotely useful since Tseng brought me back."

"I don't wanna think he just got desperate."

"But he did. That's the thing." He twists around to face me, watching me shrug. "I guess it is what it is. He'll let me go once he's sick of me."

"… I know."

"Is that what's got your panties in a knot?"

"I don't wear panties," he snorts, grinning. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, you don't wear anything."

"Depends on the day." He sighs, his smile fading, and reaches forward to tug on my hair. "That's not all."

"Well…?"

"When you went to look for Hojo, I managed to get somethin' outta Rude," he admits, finally relaxed for once. His pale eyes stare hard at my hair as he runs a finger down a section, smoothing it. I frown, but I don't pull away. No one's allowed to touch you. "I guess… I learned stuff I didn't wanna know. But I can't blame you for what happened." But what did happen? Upon seeing my confusion, he shakes his head, pulling away. "It wasn't you."

"… What did he say?"

"I—" Reno frowns, running his tongue over his lips. "Marx said you'd remember eventually, right?"

"But I'm sick of being kept out of the loop, Re."

"I don't wanna talk about it." He stands. "Let me be selfish."

"… Fine."

"Want anything to drink?" he asks, walking around the counter and reaching up into Rude's cabinets to retrieve the bottle he put up there days ago.

"Is that even yours to offer?"

"Yeah, actually," he scoffs, raising his eyebrows. "Can you believe that?"

"You? Being a good friend?" I roll my eyes, though I'm smiling. "Never."

"Hey, too close to home," he teases, taking a drink from his cup and leaning forward across the counter. I prop my head on my palms and close some distance in the gap, unable to wipe the smile off my face.

"You stink."

"Damn, I was hopin' for some wholesome compliments, not that."

"Reno, who are you talking to right now?"

"Not Rude."

"Does Rude shower you in compliments?"

"You don't know what Rudie and I get up to." When I crinkle my nose, his face breaks into a smile. "You could always join, Kitty Kat." I shiver. Stop calling me that.

"Gross. No thanks."

"Suit yourself."

He taps the tip of my nose and steps back to finish his drink. When the glass hits the counter, his phone buzzes loudly beside my arm. I toss the device to him and he picks up with his eyes rolling.

"Yeah?" When I raise an eyebrow, he mouths 'Tseng' in response. "Yup. You're joking. That son of a-!" He sets the glass in the sink more aggressively than necessary. "Yeah, okay." Hanging up, he shakes his head and shoves his phone into his pocket.

"So?"

"So Highwind took the plane and zipped off with Avalanche."

"Wait, seriously?" I laugh despite myself, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. Tseng's flyin' Rufus back."

"Great." I sigh, rubbing my face. "I spent all my time away from him asleep."

"That's your fault, Sweetheart." He claps a hand down on my back and heads toward the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"Gotta go get a buncha useless shit from Scarlet. Pres doesn't wanna talk to her when he gets back."

"Hm." I slump forward, burying my face in my arms. "Wish he wanted to talk to me." I frown, cringing. Not like that. I just need something to do.

"Nothing a candle can't fix."

I step back from the flame and take a deep breath of the flowery scent. So much better. Shaking my head, I blow the flame out, scolding myself for letting it burn overnight, and hurrying out the door. I'm already late getting to my office. My eyes are heavy, puffy with circles. I didn't sleep well, too afraid to dip below the surface of unconsciousness in case I see something I don't want to. I'm stuck between fearing nightmares and wanting to understand who I am. I'm exhausted and my body hurts, but I have to keep going. I won't let this chaos get in my way.

Lost in thought, I don't notice the woman crossing my path until I knock into her, sending a spray of papers flying through the air. Startled, she cries out, wobbling on her heels. She catches herself, bending down to gather her papers. Sighing, I kneel beside her to help. I'm late already, anyway.

"Sorry about that. I was thinking."

"No, that's okay."

She shakes her head, tucking her graying hair behind her ear. She looks to be in her mid-forties, composed and calm. She accepts my sloppy stack with a smile. It falters, her green eyes staring hard into mine, but she brings it back up quickly, carefully standing and offering a hand.

"Thanks for the help. I'm Amelia."

"Kat." I take her hand and she hesitates again before shaking.

"Kat?"

"Yeah?"

"Nice. I like it." She tugs her tight skirt down, her face going pale. "I'll see you around, I guess."

"Yeah, see ya." I frown. What a weird lady. She hurries in the opposite direction, her heels clicking loudly against the floor. What was all that about?

I shake my head, hurrying to get to my office. It's too late to get there unseen, though. Elena stands at the coffee machine, smiling, and Reno stands beside her, arm pressed to the wall and hand tucked in his pocket as he talks to her. He shoots me a mocking stern look.

"Kat, what time is it?"

"Fuck off," I scoff, getting my own cup of coffee and chugging it down.

Elena crinkles her nose. "Black. Ick."

"It's fine," I shrug, refilling my cup and looking up at Reno. He raises an eyebrow. "What? I didn't sleep."

"I can see that," he huffs, shaking his head. "Was just askin' Elena how she's always early."

"And?" I press, turning my attention to the blonde. She smiles, shrugging and clutching her paper cup closer to her body.

"I'm afraid of being late, honestly. My dad was a military leader here. You know how that is."

"Do I?" I murmur into my cup.

She frowns, but before she can speak, Rufus steps into the room, posture straight and hands clasped behind his back. We all pause, turning to pay attention.

"Where's Rude?"

"I'll get 'im."

Reno hurries past me and knocks on Rude's door at the end of the long lobby. Rude emerges with a frown, but Reno jerks his head toward Rufus and heads back to my side. The president watches with sharp eyes as Rude joins us, taking a deep breath.

"In conjunction with our inside intel, Tseng has located the ultimate destruction magic."

"Black Materia?" I frown.

"Yes…" His eyes meet mine, cold as ever. "How did you know?"

"I think I read it somewhere."

"Bullshit," Reno scoffs, elbowing me. "You don't read."

"Not since I met you, no," I retort, shoving him back. Rufus presses his lips together, irritated by our antics.

"It doesn't matter." Then why did you ask? "Tseng and Elena will be searching for the Temple of Ancients to stop Avalanche and recover this materia. We hope to beat Sephiroth with—"

"Hold on. I haven't had a single real job since I first got here, and you're sending her?" I demand, pointing at Elena. She frowns, leaning away from my finger.

"It was a request from Tseng. Don't interrupt."

"Whatever," I mutter, taking a long sip of my coffee.

Reno lifts his chin. "What do the rest of us do, Boss Man?"

"Don't call me that," Rufus scowls, starting to lose his composure. "And you're to do the work Tseng assigned you weeks ago."

"Busy work? Shit."

"Rude, I need you to keep an eye on Corneo's home. I don't want him to attempt a return."

"Yes sir."

"And Kat." Rufus spits my name out of his mouth like poison. "Reeve needs assistance with Cait Sith. There's your job."

"Great," I huff. He raises an eyebrow.

"You can just as easily return to running errands for me."

"No, I'm good."

"… Come with me." He turns, heading for the doors that separate us from the rest of the floor.

"Where are we going?" I ask, frowning. Reno shakes his head, turning to Rude to bitch about his paperwork.

"My office."

When I start to turn toward the hallway I'm so used to following, he pauses, heading in a different direction altogether. He arches an eyebrow and I sigh, hurrying to follow him. Right. You get the big boy chair now.

"Listen, I—"

"No."

A pair of guards lets us into his new office, the enormous, dark palace his father used to use as his evil lair. The door closes behind me, sealing me inside. Instead of sitting behind his enormous desk, he swipes a finger across its surface, scowling.

"Remind me to fire whoever was meant to clean this. It's been disgusting for months."

"Will do." I cross my arms, wandering far behind him as he heads toward one of the enormous windows to stare out at the city of Midgar. It looks uglier in the day time when you can see the rubble of Sector Seven and the looming cloud of smog that vanish in the black of night.

"Do you remember our last conversation before I left?"

"About fear?"

"About respect." He shakes his hair out of his eyes. "Come here." Slowly, I walk up to the window, heart beating fast. I know I'm short, but he seems so tall when he's close. "Do you remember what happened?"

"You threatened me, shot me, and hit me," I list off.

"And?"

"And…?" I frown, looking up at his reflection in the tinted glass. He doesn't look back, eyes scanning the horizon as he waits. "Oh. The elixir?"

"Yes. Mercy." He frowns. "Pity. I couldn't think of anything else while I was away." You couldn't stop thinking about me? I shudder and he glances down at me. "I can't help but feel that encouraged your actions today."

"It didn't—"

"Don't interrupt."

"Or what? You'll push me around and wave your gun in my face?" I snap, tired of the lectures. "You're a one-trick pony, Rufus. Bullying people doesn't earn their respect when all you have to back up your words is bullets."

"Is that so?" he murmurs, turning back to the window. "That isn't what Midgar thinks."

"I'm not Midgar."

"I've noticed." He turns to face me fully, flipping a strand of his pale hair out his face only for it to fall right back down. "You continue to be disrespectful, rude, and irritating. If either of us is a one-trick-pony it's you."

Traitor.

He will suffer.

"Shit," I hiss, frozen in place. He frowns, watching me gnaw on my lips and pick at my fingers, trying to drown the voices out.

"Excuse me?"

"Not you."

Your gun—shoot him.

You have a knife.

Stab him.

Skin him.

"Stop—"

"Kat?"

Tie him up and burn him.

Make him suffer for his torture.

He wants respect?

He doesn't respect me.

"Is everything alright?" he asks. I shake my head quickly, holding up my hand to keep him from touching me when he reaches out. I try to step back my legs don't move, fighting back.

"Don't." Shivering as I begin to feel feverish, I grit my teeth. "Get away from me."

"Kat—"

"Please."

Revel in the flow of his blood as it stains these pristine floors.

Watch it spill down the stairs like a crimson waterfall.

"Stop!" I reach up to cover my ears, already knowing it won't work. My hands instead dig into my hair, tugging. "Rufus, please!"

"I don't understand."

"Move!" I scream, hoping that raising my voice will get him to move. He stands back, frowning with disdain at the tone of my voice.

Fulfill your destiny.

Make them fear your power.

This is what you were created for, child.

"If I do… you'll leave?" I whisper, feeling myself slowly slip away, tired of fighting.

Of course.

I don't remember much. One moment, I'm staring hard at the floor. The next, I'm lunging at Rufus with my knife clutched in my hand. From there, I hit the ground, flat on my back. They leave me immediately and I screw my eyes shut, waiting for certain death as my body trembles from smacking against the tile. As my head spins slowly back into reality, I hear someone speaking to me. Rufus looms overhead, frowning. This frown isn't cold, though. It's as close to genuine concern as Rufus Shinra can get. Slowly, I sit up.

"What was that?"

"They wouldn't stop. I thought maybe if I could just stick it out, they'd leave me alone, but I lost control completely and the next thing I knew I was running and—"

"Slow down."

"I'm losing control," I huff, flinching when he crouches down to my level, something I thought would never happen in a million years. I shake my head, refusing to look at him as the lump gathers in my throat. The tension is thick. "It's not me."

"Losing control of what?"

"Myself. I'm not me."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know." I flinch when a cool finger touches my chin, nudging my face around until I look up at him. My breath catches in my throat when I see beyond the guarded chill. "I just… don't."

"Losing yourself," he repeats, his hair slipping further into his face the longer he looms there, frighteningly close. "Is that what you most fear?"

"I…" I swallow, my words catching. What are you doing, Kat?

"Is it?" he prods, refusing to back down. Stop.

"I think so. I don't have much, but I don't want to lose what's left."

"Mm."

"You gonna use that against me?" My heart skips a beat when he smiles.

"Probably."

Honestly, I don't know who leaned in first. I don't think either of us will ever admit to it. I do know that we tip-toe at first, soft and careful—everything we're not. I also know that when I pull away for air, I'm afraid of his unguarded expression. I don't have to see it much longer when he dives back in for more. I'm sweating, my heart's racing, and my ass is sore from sitting on the hard floor, but I don't stop until I can't catch my breath. It's an oasis of happiness, but it still feels good to feel wanted.

Rufus takes a deep breath, somehow keeping his cool when he stands. I know my face is bright red and that I've probably sweat my way through my jacket by now. Slowly, he straightens his jacket, turning away from me and turning back to the window. He presses his lips together, watching me in the reflection.

"You're dismissed, Kat," he says after a long silence.

I nod, standing and hurrying out the door. What the hell was that? I shiver, hurrying to my office before anyone can see me and ask why I'm so flustered. I can't scrub away the lingering feeling of his touch. I don't even get to blame him because I liked it. So, so wrong. Tseng would kill me right where I stand. I close my office door behind me and press my back to the wood, realization slapping me across my face. That was so unprofessional.