Hello!
It's 5.32am here in good old London and I'm wide awake... what's that about? Good news for you though as I've been using the time to write. I'm not sure I'm happy with this chapter, I feel like there should be more I can do with it but I keep playing around with it and I just need to stop. Despite that, I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter and that it is what you had been hoping for in terms of Minerva's current storyline. She's finally ready to open up, though it takes a little encouragement from an unexpected friend.
Thank you everyone who has reviewed so far. I've been terrible at replying lately but please know that they mean the world to me. And thank you to all of those who have added this story to alerts – and also thanks to those who have added The First Cut is the Deepest to their favourites lists. I was surprised to see that the views on that story had jumped a lot during lockdown and it warms my heart to know that people are still reading that story.
Enough from me. I hope you enjoy and I'd love to know your thoughts.
Rex x
P.S. I know that according to recent canon, Minerva, Hagrid and Tom Riddle we're not at school together. That both Hagrid and Tom are in fact older than Minerva. However, when I started this story back in 2011, that information was sketchy. So I'm sticky to what we knew back then because if I didn't, a lot of things would need to change in this fic and to be honest, I'm in too deep to be making changes now haha.
Chapter 18
It was late at night but Minerva walked aimlessly along the edge of the lake, deep in thought. It had been a week since she had sat with Severus while he played for her, a week since the first and last time she had used the door into his quarters. She had of course seen him many times, had spent time with him in the Staff Room and had talked with him during meal times. She knew he wanted to ask her if she was alright, she could see him thinking about it as their conversations came to an end. But he never did and she never expected him to.
"'Ello Professor," came the friendly voice of Hagrid from the Forbidden Forest. Minerva turned in the direction the voice came from, surprised to find herself so close to the forest. She clearly hadn't been watching where she was walking. She peered into the darkness, the first to emerge was Fang and he bound over to her happily. Minerva laughed as the huge dog tried to lick her face.
"Hello Fang," she pushed him down and scratched under his chin. "Hagrid?" She peered into the forest again and eventually Hagrid emerged with a limping unicorn. "Oh Hagrid..." she gasped at the sight of the unicorn, his white fur shone brightly as he stepped out into the moonlight. He held his head high as his bright eyes watched her carefully, waiting to see if she was a threat to him.
"Oy," Hagrid nudged the unicorn and pointed to Minerva. "She ain't gonna hurt yer, yer big fool." She watched the unicorn lower his head slightly and twitched his head forward, smelling the air around her. Smiling, she slowly lifted her hand and held it out for the unicorn to sniff. After a moment, he nudged her hand, giving her permission to stroke him.
It had been many years since she had last seen a unicorn. Even though the forest was well populated with them, they were reclusive creatures and rarely let themselves be seen. She had probably still been a student when she last touched one.
"Got himself caught in one of the wire buckets I put out for the Thestral's feed," Hagrid explained. "Thought I'd bring him up 'ere and see if we can heal it." Minerva scratched behind his ear and the unicorn nuzzled her cheek affectionately. "Looks like he's got a bit of a soft spot for yer," Hagrid laughed.
"I've always had a way with horses," she pressed a kiss to the unicorn's nose. "I miss being around them."
"He's probably gonna be up 'ere a while if yer wantin' to stop by again?" Hagrid offered. Minerva smiled at him gratefully and she caught the confused look in his eyes. "What are yer doin' out 'ere this late?"
"Just taking a walk," she said dismissively, making it clear she didn't want to discuss it further. Usually Hagrid respected her wish to not talk about certain things but for whatever reason, he did the opposite.
"I know we ain't ever been close, not like yer are with some of the teachers but you and I go way back so I'd like to think we're friends," he said. "I was thinkin' that maybe talkin' things over might do yer some good."
Minerva smiled. "It's not you Hagrid," she said. "I haven't spoken to anyone."
"Fancy a cuppa tea?" Hagrid patted the unicorn on its back and led it toward his hut. Minerva watched him go and was sorely tempted to make a break for the castle but just as she was about to take a step, she felt something wet on her hand. Minerva looked down to see Fang still sitting by her feet, he looked up at her with a slight tilt of his head and whimpered slightly.
Minerva crouched down beside him and he turned to lick her cheek. "Something tells me you're here to make sure I don't run away," she said to him. Fang whined softly and stood up, his tail wagging enthusiastically as he began to trot away. Before he got too far, he stopped and turned to look at her. He barked. "I'm coming," Minerva smirked and with a heavy sigh, she walked to Hagrid's hut.
"Good boy," Hagrid said as Fang reached the door to their home. "'Ere you go," he threw him a large bone and Fang collected his reward eagerly. "Won't be a minute," he called to Minerva as he ducked back into his house.
It wasn't long before Hagrid came back, two large mugs of tea in hand. He handed one to Minerva and then sat down on a large tree stump outside his hut. Minerva sat down on the steps to his home, careful not to spill her bucket of tea.
"Yer might not remember this," Hagrid smiled at her. "But when me dad died, yer were there for me. Yer barely knew me but I remember yer sat with me all night and just listened to me talk 'bout him. It meant more to me than yer could ever know. But yer know, yer said somethin' to me that night that stuck with me."
Minerva frowned. "What did I say?"
"It takes a lot of strength to stay silent, but it takes double the amount of courage to talk to someone," he said and Minerva couldn't help it, she laughed.
"It's what my father used to say when I wouldn't tell him why I was upset," she explained. "And I do remember that night," she said, noting how pleased Hagrid looked. Her own father had died while she was at Hogwarts and she had a kind of affinity with him in that moment. It was her friends who had helped her through her father's passing and although Hagrid was well liked in his year, he didn't have close friends to support him. Recognising that he might need someone, Minerva had been glad to step in. "Your father sounded like a wonderful man."
"Aye," Hagrid beamed, his eyes going to Fang. "He was. It were him who taught me that when someone needed help, I should always offer a hand." He looked back over to Minerva. "So... what's botherin' yer?"
"Nothing really, just a kind of existential crisis following my trip to Russia," she laughed slightly at the concerned look on Hagrid's face. "I've had a lot to work through and I've... pushed people away. It's time that I stop running away and face up to things."
"I'm sure they'll understand," he said optimistically and Minerva smirked; if only he knew that she'd been talking about Severus. "And the longer yer run, the harder it'll be to come clean. What's stoppin' yer from talkin'?"
"I'm afraid that if I say it out loud, that it will somehow make it true..."
Hagrid didn't ask what 'it' was and she was glad. "It's eatin' away at yer," Hagrid said. "I can see it plain as day, everyone can. We're worried 'bout yer."
Minerva closed her eyes and gave a heavy sigh. "I didn't realise everyone had caught on..."
"Well of course not," he said with a laugh. "Yer Minerva McGonagall, yer private as they come. None a us wanted to pry."
Minerva felt guilty that she had caused her colleagues to worry about her. If she hadn't been convinced before that it was time to open up, she definitely was now.
"I guess we just want to know you're alright," Hagrid patted her arm and Minerva was glad she had already finished her tea or else it would have ended up all over her robes.
"I will be," she smiled at him. Fang had made his way over to her and sat down beside her. His head fell heavily onto her knees and he nudged her hand until she began to stroke him. "I've wanted to talk about it, I just don't know where to begin..." she watched Fang for a moment, her mind drifting back to Severus. "He deserves to know what happened..."
"Then perhaps you should tell him," Hagrid said with a slight smirk. Minerva glanced up at him, surprised to discover she had spoken out loud. She felt herself blush. "He's been cranky ever since he got back too," he said, speaking of Severus even though Minerva had not said his name. "Well... crankier than he usually is."
"Thank you, Hagrid," she gave Fang one more scratch under the chin and then stood up. "Thank you for the tea and the talk."
Hagrid stood up quickly too. "Oh... I er... I hope I ain't overstepped the line..." Minerva glanced at him and she could see he looked slightly pale, his wrung his hands together in worry. "I know yer close, good friends and all that. He don't give much away either, he's probably even more private than yer are. I don't need to be a mind reader to see that somethin's been goin' on in the last couple of months between yas... I just wanted to make sure yer alright..."
"Hagrid," Minerva put a gentle and calming hand on his arm. "You haven't overstepped any lines. This has helped more than you'd ever know," she said to him and Hagrid smiled.
"I'm just returning the favour," he said, referring to the night she had sat with him during their school days. "I'm always here if yer need me."
"You're a good friend, Hagrid." Hagrid looked so proud at that, at hearing her call him a friend and he beamed at her.
"I can walk yer back to the castle if yer like," he said.
"No don't worry," she replied. "I'll run up. Thank you again." He nodded in understanding and waved her off.
Once she was on the path to the school, Minerva quickly transformed into her animagus form and ran back to the school. She wasn't sure why speaking with Hagrid had come so easily, especially when she had pushed everyone else away who had tried to talk to her. But she was glad he had pushed it, had given her no choice. Although she knew a part of it was because she felt ready to talk... she was in no doubt that if she had really not wanted to talk to him she would have had no issue with telling him so. But still, thinking about the one person she really needed to speak to still made her stomach feel like it had dropped into her knees.
She entered the castle through the dungeons and even though she had intended to go straight to her quarters, she couldn't help but stop by the Potions classroom still in her animagus form. She wasn't at all surprised to see Severus at his desk, leaning over a cauldron, a deep frown on his face as he stared down at his potion.
"It's not enough..." he mumbled as he wrote something down in his notebook.
Minerva sat down in the doorway, enjoying being able to watch him without him knowing she was there. She knew he'd be angry if he ever found out but as she was the only one aware of what she was doing, she lingered a little longer than she should have.
-x-
The portal Severus installed had still not been used since the night it was first used. It remained in place, the door always open as a silent invitation but no one had stepped under its arch.
Minerva stood in her tiny kitchen in her nightgown, a cup of tea she'd made herself cradled in her hands as she stared at the door. She knew Severus had wanted her to use it, and there had been far more occasions than she cared to admit where she had stood in that very spot trying to force herself to step into his quarters. Especially in the last few days. It was hard to believe that it had almost been a week since Hagrid had offered her a cup of tea.
But as yet, her feet had remained unmoved and she still had not taken the leap. There had been times where she thought she saw Severus hovering on the other side but she couldn't be sure.
Knowing he was just a few steps away gave her some comfort but it was also a constant reminder of what she must do.
She needed to come clean. To finally open up to him and tell him what had happened. It was time, had been time for a number of weeks now but she just couldn't find the words to explain it all to him. It was always on her mind, the guilt at leaving him in the dark when for once it was him who had reached out to her, it was him who was trying to be the friend. It ate away at her, a constant twisting in her stomach every time she thought about him.
In the back of her mind, she could hear Peter tell her to trust, Filius encouraged her to open up and Hagrid reminded her that it took courage to confide in someone. They were all right, of course but it didn't make it any easier.
In truth, what caused her to keep putting it off was not a fear of how Severus would react, it was more a fear of herself. In telling Severus what happened, she was admitting to her own faults. Faults she had resisted and ignored, faults she was ashamed of.
But keeping it to herself was doing more damage than good. She put down her empty cup and drifted out into her living room to look at the time piece above the fireplace. It was 2.45am. She had spent too many nights staring at her ceiling, pacing in her living room and now, staring at the door. It needed to stop.
With a heavy sigh, she walked back into the kitchen and stopped at the door again. The guilt continued to gnaw at her stomach as she once again hesitated. She closed her eyes and focused on calming her breathing.
"You can do this," she whispered to herself. "You have to do this..." she opened her eyes and focused on the open door again. "Come on old girl," she said as she finally pushed herself forward and stepped into the room.
She froze on the other side of the door and took a deep breath. Above the empty fireplace, Sir John was sitting up in his armchair, a smile on his face as he roused from his sleep.
"Hello," he said softly. "My dear girl..." he lifted a hand as though to reach for her, only to remember that he couldn't touch her. He smiled sadly and Minerva walked toward him. "I'm glad you've come." She could see tears in his eyes and she blinked a few times to clear her own eyes.
"I think it's time, don't you?" She asked. Sir John nodded and pointed behind her.
"He's in his bedroom," he said. "He doesn't normally sleep very well and since he's had that door fitted he's spent most of his nights sitting beside it." Minerva turned to look at the door to see a chair had been placed by it and she smiled. So she had seen him there. "Leander told me you were doing the same."
"He shouldn't have," she rolled her eyes. "But yes, I've been hesitating..."
"And Severus has been waiting," he said. "Don't make him wait any longer."
Minerva smiled up at him. "I love you, grandpa," she watched him place his hand over his heart, his eyes filling with tears once more. It had been a long time since she'd called him that.
"Go on now," he said, clearing his throat but she caught the small smile he gave her.
Minerva turned and walked to the bedroom. She paused at the doors, her hand on the handles while she steadied her nerves, then pushed her way inside.
The lamp by his bed was still on. Severus was laid on his stomach, still fully dressed and his arm out stretched as though he had fallen asleep as he reached to turn off the light. She laughed quietly and made her way over to the bed. She sat down by his hip and laid a gentle hand on his back, stroking him softly. She had learned her lesson at the start of the year when she had startled him in his shower, she did not want to repeat it out of concern for him rather than her. As she waited for him to become conscious, she continued to rub circles on his back. She couldn't help but think about Bertie... this was how she woke him up when he first returned from the war. The only way she could wake him up without seeing the horrors war had left behind in his eyes.
She watched Severus frown even deeper and nuzzle his face into his pillow as he shifted slightly. She knew he was still sleeping but the frown told her that he was aware of the sensation on his back.
"Severus..." she called his name lightly and she noticed the way his head turned back in her direction. She moved her hand up his back until she reached his hair and she brushed it away from his face.
"Min..." his eyes opened slowly and he closed the shut again quickly at the bright light from his lamp. Minerva quickly leaned over to turn it off and instead lit the small beside the lamp to give them a little bit of light. "Minerva?" He rubbed at his eyes. "What is it? Are you alright?" He began to sit up but she touched his shoulder to stop him.
"I've been asking myself that question for months," she gave a dry laugh at the way Severus was looking at her with a confused frown. She looked down at her hands which were now clasped firmly atop her legs. She didn't know where to start.
"You used the door," he said after a moment. Minerva smiled and nodded.
"I used the door," she looked up at him and she could see on his face what it meant that she had come to him. "I wanted to come sooner..." she paused and shrugged.
"You're here now," he said. As Minerva watched him, she wanted nothing more than to be held by him. For too long she had kept him at arms length, she had been so afraid that if she let herself get too close, she might break. But right now, she wanted to break. She wanted to let it all out. She just wanted to go back to how things were before, how she was before.
Without asking for permission, she laid down on the bed, her back to him and she felt him immediately curl around her. His arms wrapped her in a tight hug and as she melted into his chest, she felt the guilt ease, the twisting anxiety fading. She closed her eyes. She knew she was safe, that no matter what she said, no matter if she did fall apart, the man holding her right now would help her to piece her life back together. He'd be right with her, guiding her forward until she could walk on her own, right by his side.
"I wanted to kill those Death Eaters in Russia," she said eventually. She felt Severus' chin rest on her shoulder as she began to talk. "I don't think that would come as a surprise to anyone. They tortured my son... I have no doubt they would have easily killed him if it suited their needs and so I don't regret going after him. I don't regret what I did to them, that I stopped them. But I could have stopped them in other ways..." she paused and took a few breaths to organise her thoughts. "Did you ever wonder why I placed a barrier around you when we were in the clearing?"
"Yes," he said heavily. "All I wanted to do was help you..."
"I placed that barrier around you to protect you," she said. "Because as soon as we entered that clearing I had only one thing on my mind."
"You wanted to kill them," Severus said.
"No," she felt as though she were choking on her words. "I wanted them to suffer," she could feel the anger resurfacing as her mind drifted back to that night. "I wanted to inflict pain, to watch them suffer, to see the fear in their eyes that I know they will have seen in so many of the innocent lives they had taken. I wanted to torture them and I know I would have enjoyed it..." she stopped and sat up, her hands covering her face as she breathed heavily and tried to rid herself of the feelings she'd had that night. Of the hatred that had fuelled a part of her that she didn't know she had. "The darkness consumed me, it fanned the flames and I felt my power surge... I was ready to kill them and I was enjoying it..." she lowered her hands and turned to look at Severus who was still laying on his bed. He was staring at his hands and she couldn't read the intense look on his face. "I could have given into it, I almost did..."
"But you didn't," Severus said quietly. She watched him sit up slowly. "You didn't kill them, you didn't make them suffer."
"Isn't thinking about it just as bad?" She looked at him over her shoulder. "I had those thoughts, I felt it. The rush and the excitement..." she felt powerless.
"We all have a little bit of darkness in us Minerva." She felt Severus inch closer to her, his arms circling her waist and his chin coming to rest on her shoulder again. "The darkness is there in us all. We all feel the urge, we all have the ability to inflict pain, to take a life. But the most important thing is the person. Only you have the capacity to control the darkness in you. You either resist it, fight it and not let it take over. Or you cultivate it," he said as he began to unfastened his cuff and pull his sleeve up to reveal his Dark Mark. "You give into it and lose yourself to it completely."
Minerva touched the tattoo, something she had done many times in the past. Just as always, it pulsed under her finger tips, hot and steady, as though the snake were biding its time until it struck.
"You are not evil, Minerva," he whispered into her ear. "You have been touched by it but throughout it all, you've always remained true to who you are."
Minerva didn't bother to try stopping herself from crying. She leaned her head back against his shoulder and she laughed through her tears. "I have battled with this since that last night in Russia," she shook her head. "I've tortured myself to the point where I couldn't perform magic. I withdrew from everyone and closed myself off trying to figure out who I am now... I have been so afraid of saying this out loud, of admitting that I almost gave into the darkness that consumed me..."
"Did you think I would judge you?" He asked, his tone was slightly mocking. "Me? The Death Eater?"
Minerva smiled and let her head rest against his. "I was afraid that if I admitted it, that my fears would be confirmed."
"That you had given yourself over to the evil in you?"
"Yes," she sighed. Severus was pensive for a moment before he spoke again.
"That you had become me?"
Minerva pulled away and turned to look at him. "Of course not," she said. "I never thought of you like that. You have been touched by the darkness too but you're not..."
"I embraced it," Severus said. "We've both killed people, we've both wanted to kill but the difference between us, Minerva, is that you felt guilty for what you've done. I didn't... I still don't."
Minerva knew there would be aspects of Severus' former life that she would never know but hearing him talk like that reminded her that they were so very different. Severus had willingly succumbed to the evil that battled inside him, whether because he had been driven to it or because it has always been there, she didn't care to think about.
"And now?" She asked. "How would you feel doing those things now?"
"I would do whatever was required of me," he said with a shrug. "I am merely a pawn in a game."
"I don't believe that," she said. "I think the difference between the Death Eater and the Severus who sits with me now is that you have a reason to care now. You have a home, a job, people to call friends..." she touched her hand to his chest. "You've grown to care about this place and there are people who have come to care very much for you."
She watched Severus observe her for a moment. "You might be right about that," he said softly, his hand coming up to stroke her cheek. "I would have seen that as a weakness," he said.
"And you still do," she countered.
"Yes," he sneered. "You're a damn distraction sometimes." Minerva laughed. "But you're a weakness I'm glad I have..." his voice was barely above a whisper but she heard him loud and clear.
Minerva leaned into him and she hugged him. It wasn't often Severus admitted such things but when he did, it touched her profoundly. He was deeply complicated, she'd known that and it was for that reason she knew that she was safe with him, that no matter what she told him he would never judge her. But she also knew how much he struggled with the man he was becoming, the Severus who turned his back on the Death Eaters, the man who has found a reason to fight against the evil that once ruled his life. She knew in some ways he resented the person he was now, she had seen him fight against it and try to claw his way back to what was familiar to him. But it was fear of the unknown. In that, they were the same. A fear of discovering a part of themselves they didn't think existed.
As she pulled away she touched her forehead to his. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come to you," she said.
"You have nothing to apologise for," he replied. "I put that door there so you could come to me when you were ready."
"Thank you for waiting for me," she pulled back to look at his face. "You've been supporting me from afar and I wasn't always appreciative of it..."
"I think I finally understood how much effort you put into this friendship," he snarled and Minerva couldn't help but laugh. He was right, in some ways they had swapped roles since she returned to the castle.
"I just wanted to say thank you," she stroked his jaw. "I'm not fixed, I'm not back to how I was..."
"No one would expect you to be," he said. "But you're here."
Minerva smiled. "I'm here."
She wasn't sure who made the first move but she didn't care. All she cared about was that his lips were on hers, moving against her slowly as if testing her reaction. Minerva leaned into him, her hands touching his jaw gently in her own attempt at letting him know she welcomed his touches. She hadn't come to him to find comfort in his body, she hadn't expected the night to turn out like that but as his hands touched her waist, it was all she wanted. She had worried over the past few weeks that falling into bed with him would just be another way to avoid what was weighing heavily on her mind. But now that he knew everything she felt different. This wasn't another way of forgetting, this was how they moved forward. It felt like a reunion, as though she was fully home for the first time since she left for Russia. It was an odd thought that that being lowered onto the bed by Severus was what made her feel like she was at peace but as she stared up at him, she smiled and touched his face. It had been a long time another person had made her feel like that, a long time since she felt her heart overflowing with these kind of emotions.
Minerva thought that Severus would be rough with her, would take her as he had done the last few times they had been together after a long break. But he wasn't. She lifted slightly to kiss him and bit down on his lower lip but he pulled away and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Her hands reached down and began to unbutton his shirt, caressing every inch of skin she revealed as he rained kisses down her neck.
Severus helped her rid him of his shirt and she helped him unbuckle his belt before he shed his trousers. Minerva sat up to pull her nightgown over her head and had barely removed it when she felt him cover her with his shirt. Minerva smiled up at him as she reached for him and pulled him down on top of her again.
"Are you sure about this?" Severus asked as he licked a long line over her collarbone while his hand teased her nipple.
"We're a bit too far gone for that sort of question," she laughed softly but Severus pulled away to look at her.
"Say the word and we'll stop," he said seriously.
Minerva smiled again and sat up enough to hook a hand around the back of his neck so she could pull him down to kiss him once more. "I don't want to stop," she said against his lips. "I don't ever want to stop."
"So much for rules," he smirked.
Minerva slapped his arm and laughed. "Mention my rules again and I might come to my senses."
"Then I had better stop talking," he leaned down and kissed her, making her body ache even more for him.
She welcomed him with open legs, helped him slip inside her smoothly, slowly. His thrusts were maddeningly unhurried but there was a desperate intensity in the way he held her, as though he wanted to burn every moment into his memory. He lifted off her slightly, not once stopping the movement of his hips as he leaned down to press kisses between her breasts.
Minerva lifted her hands and ran her fingers through his hair, drawing his attention to her. He turned his head slightly to kiss the inside of her wrist and then he let his head fall to her chest and she held him, feeling overwhelmed by him but she welcomed it, wanted it.
The unmistakable coil began in the pit of her stomach and she arched into him, lifting her legs even more so that he rocked in just the right place. But it wasn't her orgasm that hit first. She felt something wet splash against her ear and run down her neck. She lifted a hand to her face to find that there were tears. Severus must have felt her distraction for he stopped and lifted his head to look at her.
"It was too soon..." he went to pull away but she held onto him, kept him inside her. "You're running away again," he said softly into her ear.
"I'm not..." she lifted his head so she could look into his eyes. She brushed her thumbs along his jaw and smiled through her tears. "I'm running to you..." she said.
Severus watched her, an inscrutable expression on his face. He scooped her up and pulled her on top of him, she smiled down at him as she began to move slowly. She ran her hands up his chest and he captured them, clasping their hands together tightly. She continued the pace he set, moving slowly, arching her back each time she lowered herself onto him and she enjoyed the way he watched her, the way his eyes seemed to never leave her. He took her by surprise when he suddenly sat up, his arms circled her waist and held her against him as she continued to move on him.
"I'll always be here," he whispered against her lips. "I'll catch you every time you come running."
Minerva felt as though she were being engulfed by her emotions, as though her heart would burst right out of her chest. "Severus..." She didn't know what she had wanted to say, didn't really trust herself to string together a coherent sentence. So she remained silent, choosing instead to wrap her arms around his shoulders and hold him tightly as she rode him closer to the rapture her body so desperately wanted.
"Minerva..." he whispered her name against her shoulder and she knew he was close too. She closed her eyes, focusing on the sensation and she gasped, her hips faltering as she teetered close to the edge. She felt Severus pull away, felt his hands brush up her neck until he cupped her head gently. "Look at me," he said softly. "Open your eyes... look at me..."
Minerva opened her eyes and stared into his own, he was looking at her with such profound warmth that she felt her breath catch. But then she watched his expression change to one of confusion, as though he was in disbelief at what was before him and she wondered what he had seen in her. But her curiosity didn't linger for long. She felt his fingers tighten in her hair at the base of her neck, felt her walls quiver as she continued to slowly grind against him.
Severus kept his eyes open as he spilled into her, her name coming from his mouth, caressing it in a way she had never heard him do before. She closed her eyes briefly when her own forceful orgasm hit her but she opened them quickly, catching that same look in his eyes she'd caught before.
She felt her tears return as her movements stilled and she wrapped her arms around him once more, clinging onto him as she cried. Severus stroked her back and pressed kisses along her neck, allowing her to take as much time as she needed.
They hadn't spoken much afterward. Words were unnecessary; they had already said everything they needed through their touches and looks. But Severus held her close, he brought his blankets up and tucked them around her, making sure she was warm enough.
His voice was even deeper than usual when he spoke. "Sleep," he rasped. "I'll wake you for breakfast."
Minerva nodded against his shoulder and she felt him take her hand that rested against his chest in his own. He laced his fingers through hers and gave a contented sigh. She knew she still had a long way to go before she could say that she was herself once more but as Severus pressed a kiss to her forehead, she knew she was on the right path.
Cheese fest! But you know, there's been so much angst lately that I felt it was necessary. That and I really felt it was time that they be together again. I think they needed that bonding more then anything after everything they'd been through.
Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and I hope I've done justice to this difficult part of Minerva's life. I really felt that I couldn't just go back to normal after they'd rescued Logan so this is, I guess, the end of that part of the story. But don't worry, we're not done just yet. There's still a fair bit of the school year to go and we'll be seeing Lydia again soon, plus someone finds out about Minerva and Severus' true relationship and remember the the Slytherin student from the start of term? So many plans!
Thanks again for ready guys and please remember to let me know what you think. I hope to see you again for the next chapter x