May 18th

Woofy Jr. was neuralyzed by M and adopted by a family to live the rest of his life as a normal dog.

"I'm back!" M said, returning to work after a suspiciously long time. Her hair had grown out to be long and beautiful.

"Nobody cares," said S.

"I care!" said H.

"Well, at least somebody is nice around here," M said.

"Men in Black aren't supposed to be nice, you idiot!" S said. "And besides, he's been very mean today."

"Oh, yeah?" M asked. "What has he done?"

"He's been sitting all day and won't get up!" said S. "I bet he peed his pants or something!"

"No, no, no!" said H. "That's not true! I didn't!"

"Prove it then! Get up! Now!" S said.

"I can't," said H.

"Why not? What's wrong?" M asked.

"Well, it happened when you were gone," H sighed. "I bent over to pick up the pen that I dropped, and my trousers split."

"Oh, no! Then what?" M asked.

"S made me sew them up. He said that I couldn't be a Men in Black if I had ripped trousers," H said.

"So… you sewed them up, right?" said M.

"Yes…" H said, his eyes nervously darting back and forth.

"With a pink thread!" S laughed. "What an idiot!"

"Really?" M asked. "Why?"

"I didn't think that the colour mattered," H whimpered.

"Well, I'm sure it doesn't look too bad…" M said.

"It does!" H cried. "It looks really bad!"

"Well, you need to get up eventually," said M. "How about if I give you a comforting hug?"

"Hugs are against the company code!" S said.

"Okay, how about a comforting high five, then?" M asked.

"Okay!" H said.

M walked over to give H a high five, but tripped over a pair of sunglasses that was on the floor for some reason and fell down!
"Ha, ha! You fell down!" S laughed.

"Waaah! Stop being mean! It hurt really bad!" M cried, getting up.

"What kind of idiot leaves sunglasses on the floor?" H asked. "Was it you, S?"

"No!" said S. "I don't even have sunglasses!"

"Because you left them on the floor?" H asked.

"NO! SHUT UP!" S said.

"Everyone should have sunglasses, though," said H.

"Not someone who only sits around staring at his computer all day!" M laughed.

"Why are we talking about whether or not I have sunglasses? Let's talk about your shoes!" S said.

"My shoes? I s this about how cute and stylish they are?" M asked hopefully.

"No! They are neither cute, nor stylish!" S said. "And they are totally inappropriate for this workplace!"

"How so?" M asked. "They make me look very professional and tall!"

"Your job requires a lot of walking and running," said S. "If you wear high heels, you'll keep tripping and falling!"

"Oh, no! Will I have to get new shoes?" M asked.

"Yes, I think you will," said S.

"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! If she can get new shoes, does this mean that I can get new trousers?" H asked.

"No," said S.

"Aw, man!" said H.
"Poor baby. Would you like the comforting high five? " M said, offering her hand to H.

H whimpered and nodded pitifully, trying to hold back tears.

M gave H the comforting high five.
"Thanks," H said. "By the way, who are you?"

"What?! I'm M!" said M. "You really didn't recognize me?"

"Nope!" said H. "You look different."

"All I did was grow out my hair," M said, looking like she was about to cry.
"I'm just kidding," said H. "How could I ever forget the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world?"

The End