Hey everyone, hehehe… I can explain! I swear!
So, turns out, I overpromised on what I could deliver. Really sorry about that, no double update, just a regular single update. Oh, and you should probably know that I'm not going to be able to make my original deadline of the 8th for completion of this episode since we've got two more chapters left (and I have a feeling that chapter 6 is going to be the longest chapter yet so it'll take me a while to write and edit).
And I don't think I'll be able to get back to my regular schedule because I've got a lot on my plate at the moment – job-hunting, university research, revision, all that jazz – so I might – might – not be able to get this finished by the end of the month. I hope I will but since my creditability is in the toilet right now, I'll forgive you if you take my words with a pinch of salt.
Thank you all so much for being patient with me and I cannot stress enough that I am not losing interest in this story – my schedule will just be more irregular from now on.
So anyway, enjoy what I do have for you.
Katara could feel warmth brushing against her as she lay on her back, the blades of grass beneath her tickling her bare skin as the smell and sound of the forest waking up swam through the air around the dozing waterbender.
One eyelid cracked open, revealing an unfocused aqua pupil staring up at the early morning sky – which was growing bluer every second as the sun climbed and climbed. Katara let that eye close again and shifted, turning onto her front to try and get more comfortable. It didn't do much good (the grass was still tickling her) but Katara didn't really care.
Eventually, though, that feeling of there being something that needed to be done – an instinct which had been hardwired into her psyche from years of bearing the heavy responsibility of looking after the tribe – won out over Katara's wish to stay as she was. With a quiet groan, the waterbender pushed herself upwards, blinking drowsily as her tongue darted out, tasting the air.
Uhh… a full night's sleep and this is what I feel like? Katara mentally grumbled as she shook her head, trying to pull away the thick fog lingering around her brain. At the feel of grass poking against her bare arms and legs, she looked down and was only mildly surprised to find herself wearing only her underwear, it wasn't rare that on hot nights she or Aang or Sokka hopped out of their regular clothes and slept in their undergarments. It wasn't really that embarrassing because they had all seen each other like that anyway – and it wasn't like Toph was going to see anything.
Looking up, Katara's eyes wandered around the clearing, taking in the trees, the lake, an almost naked Azula sleeping peacefully beside her, the grass, the sk…
Those same eyes widened as they quickly reversed to stare at the firebender lying not a yard away. Azula was sound asleep, her eyes closed and her breath softly whistling. She was lying on her side with her arms being used as cushions between her head and the ground. Her hair – now free of its topknot – was like a small, silky, black ocean, spilling over her face, head and onto the grass. And – to Katara's absolute embarrassment – she was clad in nothing more than what Katara could only assume was her underwear. It was quite different from her own: red in colour and rather than consisting of wrappings, both pieces were one single swath of cloth. The piece encircling her… chest was partly held up a loop of cloth that threaded behind Azula's neck and circled back to where it started… or maybe it was just there for decoration (and it was doing a good job); the bottom piece, meanwhile, actually reminded Katara of Aang's underwear – except Azula's looked more suitable for a girl to wear, not to mention softer and better made.
Katara would have scrambled to her feet at the sight of the nearly naked girl if not for the fact that, firstly, her mind kind of shut down upon seeing that Azula – the absolutely gorgeous girl she'd been fantasising about for weeks – was lying beside her in her underwear; secondly, the fog around her brain finally cleared to reveal everything that had happened the previous night: the dream, the walk, the duel, the talk, the kiss – the kiss – and what had come next…
The kiss was Katara's whole world, she couldn't focus on anything else – not the grass under her feet, not the cold air around her, not the dark sky over her head… just the feeling of her lips pressed against Azula's.
The firebender's lips were soft, warm and they had a distinct taste to them that – like the firebender's perfume – Katara couldn't place but loved! Kissing them was everything Katara had imagined it to be. This was nothing like the kiss she had shared with Aang in the Cave of Two Lovers; Katara could feel the fire growing in her belly, getting bigger and bigger and bigger until every little bit of her body, from her little toes to her forehead, was warm. This was what a kiss felt like!
Katara didn't know how long the kiss lasted, or which one of them ended it, but what she did know was that by the time she opened her eyes to see Azula staring at her, they were both panting heavily and their cheeks were glowing bright red – apparently, Azula had felt the same way about the kiss.
Slowly, Katara raised a shaking hand and touched her lips; her pounding heart hadn't slowed one beat. "A-Azula…" At that moment, all Katara wanted to do was grab Azula and start the kiss again – and keep it going. "That was… I…" She swallowed – her throat dry. The other girl didn't react, she just kept staring forward, at the waterbender, her gold eyes having lost their glow. Her only movement were her lips opening and closing to snatch gulps of air.
Katara let out a little giggle. "I guess… this means I was… right…" There was no way the kiss would have felt anything like that if she was into guys.
At that, Azula snapped back to reality, her eyes regained their glow and her face twisted. Katara had just enough time to realise the change before the firebender lunged forward, slamming into her and sending them both tumbling to the ground!
With Azula's warm hands clamped tightly around her wrists and her legs straddling her, Katara was pinned under the other girl's weight and strength, unable to do anything but stare up helplessly at Azula's snarling visage. "Azula?" She whimpered, now her heart was racing with confusion and terror! What had happened – what had changed? Oh no… she had made a mistake! A horrible mistake! Azula had just been playing her to get out of the ice and now she was going to…
Azula lowered her head and once again pressed her lips against Katara's, deeply, firmly, passionately! Almost immediately, all of Katara's fear vanished as she was overtaken by overwhelming desire! She gladly returned the kiss, and when Azula pulled her arms away from Katara's wrists to cup her cheeks, the waterbender instantly did the same. After a few minutes (with a few three second breaks to suck down oxygen before they got right back to work) those same four hands started to pull at their clothes…
Flying hog monkeys! Katara blushed bright red. Did we… did we go all the way last night?
No… no, she didn't remember going that far. They had ended up in their underwear and had done quite a bit of rolling around, but Katara was quite certain they hadn't actually had sex. If we had, wouldn't we be completely naked right now?
Suddenly, Azula mumbled something under her breath and started shifting, Katara froze, her mind suddenly going completely blank… but then she relaxed as the firebender once again went motionless – she was still fast asleep. Letting out a sigh of relief, Katara sagged back in the warmth of the sun.
The sun!?
For the second time that morning, Katara's eyes widened as they stared up in horror at the big round, yellow circle in the sky. It was already at the position it would be for early morning… which meant that with every passing second, Aang, Sokka and Toph got closer and closer to getting up… which meant they would realise that she was missing!
Shooting to her feet so quickly she was practically a blur, Katara hunted for her clothes. She quickly found them a few yards away from where she had woken up – along with Azula's. But Katara completely ignored the red and grey in favour of the blue and white. Quickly leaping into her leggings, she pulled on her dress, tugged on her boots and snatched up her hair clips, stuffing them down her dress – her hair could be fixed later.
Now all I need is my pouch! Katara desperately scanned the clearing, terrified that at any moment, Aang or Sokka or Toph would come bursting through the trees and wonder exactly what she was doing with a half-naked firebender!
There! Katara spotted her water skin over by the lake and dashed towards it… but she paused just before she passed Azula. The sleeping girl was lying on her right side, exposing her left arm… and the scar Katara had given her. Even though it was far better than what it originally been, the sight of the ugly mark still made Katara wince – and the fact that she knew it would still hurt Azula whenever she used that arm didn't help.
Katara glanced towards her pouch, biting her lip. Did she really have time to worry about a simple scar? Yes, it would hurt but the firebender was tough, she could handle it! Then she looked at Azula… and it was like seeing her as if she had taken off a helmet. There was no cocky smirk, no anger, no shock, no fear, nothing that Katara had seen on her face last night… not even any lipstick. Just a normal, fourteen year old (looking) girl, sleeping peacefully with a scar that would no doubt hurt when she woke up.
I'll make time.
Crouching down beside Azula, Katara gestured and drew a stream of water from the lake over to the firebender's arm. Normally, scars weren't something that could be healed, but that was only true for scars that hadn't been left by healing. Scars that formed naturally couldn't be healed, but if the same healer who had left a scar came back to finish the job, they would be able to. Pressing the cold liquid over the scar, Katara paused as Azula unconsciously shivered. Then she began the motions and within a second, the familiar blue glow had sprung up and the scar was fading. Katara worked quickly – one eye on the scar, one eye making sure that Azula was still asleep. She didn't know what the firebender would do if she woke up when she was still here.
Finally, after twenty seconds that felt like twenty hours, the scar vanished and Katara pulled the water away, directing it to flow into her pouch. Running her eyes over the arm one last time, Katara confirmed with satisfaction that if there was going to be any pain, it would be less than an afterthought. And with that, she stood up, grabbed her pouch and started running as quickly as she could– leaving Azula slumbering the clearing, alone.
Please still be asleep, please still be asleep, please still be asleep! Katara mentally pleaded as she dashed through the past, the trees reduced to green and brown blurs as she sped past. It had only taken her twenty minutes to walk to the clearing the previous night, but now it felt like it was taking her an eternity to run back!
What was she going to tell them if they figured out something was going on – that she had spent the night making out with the enemy? Not likely!
Then the answer appeared as Katara continued running… or rather, she remembered what she was holding! Of course! Why don't I just tell the truth! Last night, she had gone to fill up her pouch, and she now had a full pouch in her hand! All she needed to change was the time she had gotten up – from the middle of the night to just around forty minutes earlier (to account for walking to the lake, collecting the water and walking back). Nothing suspicious, nothing out-of-the-ordinary, nothing to ask questions about!
So I should probably stop running like the Fire Lord is chasing me and look normal…
As she approached the campsite, Katara forced herself to slow down. Setting her pouch down, she pulled out her clips and began restyling her hair. It was hard to do without being able to look at her reflection but years of using that style (along with helping the old people of the Southern Water Tribe do their hair when their fingers had gotten too old to do it properly and playing with the children by giving them weird and strange hairstyles) had given Katara a lot of experience and soon her hair was back to normal.
Okay… now come on heart, slow down, that's a good little organ…
It was then, just as she was cajoling her heart to stop acting like she was still kissing Azula, that Katara realised… she was thirsty again. Scowling, she summoned the water inside her pouch to float out and up into the air before her, ready to break off a small part to drink. Then, she noticed her reflection in the liquid… specifically, the red smears across her lips and cheeks.
What the…?
Katara rubbed at one of the smears, realising it felt greasy, slick and smooth. What is that?
Wait a minute… Azula's lipstick was oooooooooh I'm so stupid!
Licking her fingers, Katara's suspicions were confirmed as she recognised the taste of Azula's lipstick. I've been running around with outlines of her lips on my face!
At that moment, in spite of the seriousness of the situation, Katara could do nothing but clamp her hands over her mouth in an attempt to hold back the storm of laughter that had been about to come roaring out of her throat. Here she was, trying to get back to camp as quickly as she could, doing whatever she could to make herself look as normal as possible, hoping no one had noticed her disappearing for most of the night… and if it she hadn't decided to have a little drink, it would all have been for nothing! She could imagine it now…
"Hi everyone, hope you all got a good night's rest!"
"…Why do you have lipstick on your face?"
"Uhh… no I don't."
"Yes you do."
"Hey, doesn't Azula wear lipstick?"
"Uhhh…"
That would be fun!
A few gestures was all it took to scrub away the evidence, and once that was done, Katara gave herself one last check-over to reassure herself that there was nothing else that would give her away: no red and grey fibres, no black hairs and a quick sniff confirmed that there was no trace of Azula's perfume hanging about.
Okay, good, everything's good. Now I just need to act like nothing's wrong. And with that, Katara refilled her pouch, strapped it to her back in its usual place and strode forward – wearing a determined expression of calmness.
The spot they (read: Sokka) had chosen to camp in (instead of the clearing) was rather nondescript: it wasn't too close to any paths; the trees were indistinguishable from every other one in the woods and there were no particular smells that could attract any pursuers… at least, there hadn't been until they had arrived – but that was unavoidable. The only thing that could give them away was that there was a big enough gap in the trees for Appa to fly through… but unless the Fire Nation had developed the ability to fly like Appa, Katara didn't think that would be an issue.
As she approached the campsite, Katara could hear her heart pounding away in her chest… and it was a cacophony that only got louder and louder as she realised it was the only thing she could hear. Sweat broke out across her brow as she subconsciously slowed her pace, clenching her fists. Oh, they're already awake aren't they? They saw I was missing and they went looking and they're gonna knew everything I did last ni…
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the loud snore that came rumbling from the direction of the camp – a snore that instantly turned her heat from a racing polar bear dog's into a calm artic hippo's. After months of listening to that snore as she drifted off to sleep, she could recognise Appa's snores anywhere.
They're still asleep, aren't they?
And that was indeed the case, as Katara saw to her immense relief as she walked back into the camp: Sokka and Aang were still curled up in their sleeping bags, Momo and Appa were hadn't moved since she had last seen them; and Toph's little earth house didn't look like it had been disturbed in the slightest.
This was perfect! Katara couldn't stop herself grinning as she quietly headed towards her own sleeping bag. If she could just tuck herself in and put on a good enough performance when everyone did wake up, no one would even know she had left in the first place!
Come on… come on… She was just a few paces away now, the promise of safety hanging just out of reach. Just a few more seconds…
"K… Katara?"
"Ahh!" The sound of Aang's voice didn't usually make Katara jump out of her skin and whirl around – but on this occasion, it did both of those things. And she was left staring at the airbender sitting up in his sleeping bad, staring woozily at her.
Nononononononono! How much had Aang seen? Had he noticed her trying to sneak back to bed and pieced everything together?
Aang squinted at her, rubbing sleeping out of her eyes. "Have you been somewhere?" He asked.
Katara fought not to obviously sag in relief. Okay, maybe he just woke up now and just saw me out of bed. Just stick to the 'getting water' story and everything will be fine! "Uh, yeah," clearing her throat, Katara nodded at her pouch, smiling assuringly. "I just went to get some water – noticed I was a little under packed, you know." The waterbender chuckled, trying to make her body as relaxed as possible without dropping to the ground. "Um, did you sleep okay?" She added, hoping to change the subject.
Thankfully, it worked. "Yeah, I slept like a skunk bear during hibernation," Aang smiled back at her, stretching his arms and causing Momo's eyes to snap open. The winged lemur hopped off his master and fly over to Appa, who was starting to shift himself.
The level of noise in the camp was rising along with the sun, and the combined efforts of both were enough to get Sokka's eyes to flicker open and their owner to groan as he wiggled out of his sleeping bag, staggering upright he started stretching. "Uggh, why do the nights always have to be so short?" He grumbled before glancing across at his sister. "Where did you go?"
"Good morning to you too, Sokka." Katara folded her arms, rolling her eyes. The irritation was (mostly) fake, it felt like a normal response for her to make at a comment like that so she was making it! "I just went to get some water."
Sokka blinked at her before a sarcastic smile appeared on his face. "So you went to bed last night without your only way to fight?" He shook his head. "Good thing the Fire Nation didn't track us down or you would've had to rely on your many other skills to fight."
"Yeah, well, they didn't, and now I have water…" here Katara tapped her pouch. "So no harm done!" She hadn't meant to snap, but the mention of the Fire Nation had sent her into overdrive mod.
Thankfully, Sokka didn't seem that put off by her tone, simply shrugging. "You say that now, next time…" He was cut off as, with a loud rumble, the door and walls to Toph's earth tent crumbled away, revealing the newest member of their little group.
"Gooood morning!" She announced as she came striding over to the rest of them. "I don't know about you guys but I'm ready to kiss this dump goodbye!"
Normally, Toph being rude this early in the morning would have annoyed Katara, but right now she was just grateful that someone else had suggested they leave immediately – she didn't know if she would have been able to without coming across as desperate.
Aang had other ideas. "What's wrong with this place," he gestured around at the trees. "It's not so bad."
Toph shrugged, digging a finger into her ear and rooting around. "Call me old fashioned but I like not having to keep changing course so I don't walk into a tree."
"…Okay, but shouldn't we have breakfast first?" Aang suggested, rubbing his stomach.
"Ooh, I second that!" Sokka declared enthusiastically, his eyes shining at the thought of food – and if Katara knew her brother, he probably had meat in mind. A growl from Appa – now standing on his six feet – caused the warrior to point at the bison. "And sounds like Appa's thirding it!"
Katara's throat tightened at the thought of them staying in the forest. If they stayed to eat breakfast, Aang might want to go over the waterbending moves they practised the day before, and the only place to do that was the lake in the clearing where Azula was! And it wasn't like she could say no without looking suspicious. I'm always willing to practice waterbending with Aang, if I say no; they're bound to notice something! Her eyes flickered to Toph, hoping that the earthbender would be as stubborn as she usually was and force them all to leave.
But to her (disguised) dismay, all Toph did was shrug. "Fine, but only because I don't feel like waiting to eat."
Oh come on! Now you're playing nice? Katara had to resist the urge to glare at Toph.
"Hey Katara, you hungry too?"
"Hm, oh, yeah, really hungry!" Katara patted her stomach in a hopefully convincing manner. She actually was, the last meal she'd eaten being dinner the night before. As she spoke, she noticed Toph giving her a strange look and felt her throat tighten – could Toph tell that she had something to hide? She could earthbend without being able to see so Katara didn't really know what was impossible for her.
But she relaxed as the strange look disappeared and the earthbender turned away, shrugging. Okay, so far everything's going okay, I just need to get through breakfast! Katara had the feeling that this wasn't going to be her best breakfast ever.
And she was right. Katara barely tasted the food she shovelled in her mouth, let alone felt it fill her empty stomach – she was far too busy being completely on edge. Several times, she thought she was actually going to be sick and it was only the need to appear completely normal that kept her shovelling. And throughout the meal and the packing up of camp, her eyes had constantly been jumping about, from Sokka to Toph to Aang to the surrounding trees… and then all over again! It would be just like the world to let her get this far and then pull the sled out from under her at the last minute!
But, thankfully, it didn't, and as Appa took off, soaring through the air like the original airbender his species was, Katara – slumped in one corner of the Sky Bison's saddle – looked down at the forest one last time before turning away and sagging in complete relief.
I did it she thought triumphantly to herself, feeling a grin spread uncontrollably across her face. I did it, I did it, I did it! If anyone was going to spring a nasty surprise, they would have already done so! Katara leaned back and basked in the sun's comforting warmth, it felt like a thick fur blanket, like a strong fire and like… a body pressing against hers…
Azula had only been released from her ice prison recently but already she felt so warm, Katara would never have believed that she had been frozen at all if not for the fact she had done it herself! Running her hands up and down Azula's back, she felt the warmth radiating off the other girl's bare skin and snuggled closer – she immensely preferred the heat to the night's chill. It must be something firebenders naturally did. If her mouth had been free, Katara would happily have whispered to Azula about how hot she was… but considering how her lips were currently wrapped around Azula's own, that was a bit impossible at the moment…
Katara jolted slightly as the memory flashed through her mind like lightning – and she couldn't help but blush at other, similar memories from the previous night. Thankfully, no one noticed the blood rushing to her face: Aang was sitting on Appa's head with the reins in his hands; Sokka was staring off into the distance on the other side of the saddle and Toph wouldn't have been able to tell even if she had been sitting right next to her (which she wasn't, since she was sitting next to Sokka). Even Momo wasn't currently paying her any attention as he was currently taking a nap in the saddle's centre.
Good news: nobody had noticed; bad news: Katara didn't know how much longer the good news would last since she couldn't stop blushing! The memories just kept coming and coming, despite Katara's best efforts to seal the crack they were pouring from!
A little squeal escaped Katara's lips as she felt Azula's hands slide down her back until they were firmly clutching her butt…
Azula gave a little moan as Katara sucked on her neck…
Katara's heart was beating faster and faster as she and Azula rolled over and over through the grass together…
Now Katara was really glad no one was looking at her because from the way her face felt, it would turn blue if it got any hotter!
Blue… just like the fire Azula used to try and kill me! What's wrong with me!?
For the first time, the full weight of what she had done slammed into Katara. Not fear of being discovered, but the sheer fact that she had done all of that with Azula – not only another girl but a firebending girl! She should have been horrified, disgusted with herself!
Oh I am such a freak! She thought miserably, turning away from the others and leaning her head on her arms, staring out across the world as it passed beneath Appa. What had Azula called her – a degenerate? That fits too, I suppose.
No one could ever find out about this. It would magnify all the hate and scorn she'd get by a hundred! From Azula's reaction to the idea that she was gay, Katara knew that the other girl wouldn't be going around telling people what they had done – and the waterbender was certain that she was never going to either! It would be like it had never happened, no matter what evidence or proof came up. She would deny it for…
Why does that sound familiar?
After a few seconds of thought, Katara realised where she had heard those ideas… from her own mouth last night!
"But whether I like it or not, this is a part of me, and I can't keep denying it forever."
It had been part of the little speech she had made to Azula to convince her to agree to their kiss, and despite the fact that it had been the complete opposite of her earlier thoughts… Katara herself had agreed with it. She had spent weeks trying to bury her crush on Azula, calling herself a freak and trying to reassure herself that eventually it would all pass and – just as Aunt Wu had predicted – she would find a true love whose gender started with an 'm'!
But that kiss… and what had come after… it had been amazing! Yes… amazing, that was the right word… amazing. Katara had never felt more alive!
So what if Azula had been another girl and so what if it was against the Southern Water Tribe's customs for two girls (or two boys for that matter) to have feelings for each other? Katara had known how wrong it was last night, but that hadn't stopped her from enjoying it! If being gay was a choice, then she probably wouldn't have chosen in the first place – considering how bad she had been told it was because it couldn't make babies for the tribe! Yes, children were important but what kind of life would they be born into if their parents had had them simply for the sake of having them? And really, what would have the difference been if Azula had been a guy? She would still have been a firebender, and Katara still would have enjoyed what they had done – so really, what was the big fuss about gender?
Deny it, hide it, lie about it. This was a part of her – who she was, just like her waterbending!
It's not like the Water Tribe's customs are always perfect she reminded herself. Women learning how to fight with their waterbending had been against the customs of the Northern Water Tribe and she hadn't batted an eye before challenging that stupid belief – so what made this situation so different?
…
…
…
Nothing – that was the plain and simple truth. Any differences were just superficial. There were two beliefs, they both applied to her and Katara had realised they were both stupid! So what's the difference?
Nothing – nothing at all! This was the exact same scenario, and she hadn't taken that lying down! No more denying, no more lying, and no more denying! She was going around and tell her brother and friends who she was right n…
"Hey Katara, you okay?" Sokka's voice cut into her thoughts, prompting Katara to whirl around and look at him with an extra-large smile.
"Yes, yep, everything's fine, no problems over here!"
"Oookay…" Sokka nodded, nodding slowly while curiously raising his eyebrow. "What were you thinking about?"
"Oh, you know…" Katara waved her hand dismissively, frantically trying to think of things she could have been thinking about. "Waterbending, girl stuff, how we're going to beat the Fire Nation."
"Oh, okay" her brother nodded, turning back around.
Katara did the same, letting out a quiet sigh of relief before realising what she had done and mentally kicking herself. Good going, mighty Katara!
Okay, so maybe she wasn't completely ready to tell them: Sokka might have been on her side at the North Pole but that had been a Northern tradition – something he didn't feel under pressure to enforce – and Katara still had no idea how Aang and Toph would take the news... but when the time came, she would tell them. If they figured it out and asked her, she would admit it; if coming out would help them in anyway (as unlikely as that was), she would admit it and if Aang… if Aang wanted to move beyond flirting, she would admit it – she owed him that much.
"Denying it isn't going to do anything but leave you unprepared for when you can't hide it anymore."
Katara smiled to herself. Sorry Aunt Wu, we all have to wrong once. The world could call her a freak as much as it wanted – but she was done calling herself that.
Thank you Azula… I guess… I hope I helped you just as much as you helped me…
That thought pulled the smile from Katara's lips and replaced it with a worried frown as she remembered Azula's reaction to the possibility that she was gay too. She had looked so scared and terrified, it was as if Katara had described how she was going to die in exact detail.
What's the Fire Nation's opinion about people like us? Obviously it couldn't be good, considering that, one: they were the Fire Nation; two: it hadn't sounded like Azula had just plucked 'degenerate' at random; and three: what she had said before the kiss.
"If we do this and I find out you've told anyone, then whatever happens to me, I will make sure that you spend the short reminder of your miserable life in unimaginable pain."
Whatever happens to me… that can't mean anything good.
Another person might have just shrugged and said Azula deserved whatever she was talking about, considering how eager she had been to capture Aang, the world's last hope against her Nation. But Katara only felt a surge of concern and worry for the other girl. She had only been following orders, she hadn't decided to track down the Avatar… and she hadn't made the threat for fun, it had been made to reassure the firebender that Katara wasn't going to go around telling everyone she met what they had done. Because if she did, then apparently it wouldn't matter how loyally Azula had served the Fire Lord or how much she had put her life in danger, something terrible would happen to her just because she happened to like girls rather than boys!
The thought was horrible to think about, even if Azula was on the other side. After all, Katara could relate to her fear.
A worm of guilt began chewing on Katara's insides as she thought about how she had left Azula unconscious and alone in the clearing. Yes, she had been in a rush, but surely she could have sacrificed a few minutes to wait for Azula to wake up so they could talk about what had happened – and if Azula needed a shoulder to lean on, Katara would have happily provided it. After all, in that situation, they wouldn't be enemies – just two girls talking.
Having someone else to talk to about this – someone who knew exactly what she was going through – sounded nice. Even if it was just because Katara could be sure she wasn't going to tell anybody what was going on.
Looking back at the forest – now so small and so distant it was like a collection of toy trees – Katara sighed.
I hope you're okay, Azula – be proud. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Even if Azula attacked them again like she had a week ago, Katara wasn't going to tell a single soul about what they had done. It was their secret.
o – o – o – o
The first thing Azula had done when she had woken up was blink, push herself up on her elbows and look around – still blinking groggily; the second was that she realised she was wearing nothing but her underwear and that grass was poking at her bare skin; the third was freezing in complete horror as memories from the previous night thundered through her brain like a horde of tundra tanks…
The waterbender's lips were so sweet and so soft that, at first, Azula didn't think that they were real... she was still finding it hard to believe that any of this was real, that she was actually going to kiss another girl – a waterbending peasant girl! But as the kiss went on and on, the Princess found her inhibitions slowly slipping out of her mind, replaced by a deep, overwhelming desire to keep kissing Katara. Her eyes fluttered and her knees shook, as if all their energy was being taken away and redirected towards whatever was needed to keep the kiss going.
There was a fire in her belly. It grew strong and stronger until every square inch of Azula's body was alight with it. The firebender was used to feeling warm – already the chill from the ice that had held her was fading away – but this… this was something new.
Azula didn't know how long the kiss lasted, or which one of them ended it, but what she did know was that both her and Katara were panting hard and blushing so much, they were practically lighting up the clearing. Azula replayed the feeling of Katara's lips on her own, remembering their softness and sweetness as much as she had remembered Katara's appearance after Omashu.
"A-Azula… that was… I…"
To Azula the voice was faint but the Princess immediately recognised it as Katara's – and immediately her mind was screaming at her to grab the other girl and kiss her again – to feel that fire burning inside her!
The waterbender giggled giddily. "I guess… this means I was… right…"
At those words, the screaming died instantly as Azula came snapping out of her trance. Katara was right? Katara… was… right!
No… No!
This didn't mean anything! This was probably how she would have felt if she had kissed a boy! There was no way the waterbending peasant was right! There was no way that she, Princess Azula, was a… a degenerate! It was impossible! There was no way!
Something was warming Azula again but this time, it was anger – anger at the peasant who had dared suggest that she was one of those! That anger showed on her face, and Katara only had half a second to register the change before Azula lunged forward! Slamming into Katara, both girls went crashing to the ground with Azula on top! Clamping her hands around Katara's wrists, Azula glared down at the pinned girl, who could only stare up at her captor in fear. "Azula?" She whimpered.
Half of Azula's mind was ordering her to make Katara tell her where the Avatar was – a little fire applied in the right places and she would be screaming out everything she knew – but the other half was screaming to finish what they had started…
And Azula listened.
Once again, Azula tasted the soft and sweet lips of the girl she had been thinking about for weeks. The girl whom she thought of as beautiful not just because it was an observation, but because Azula just couldn't stop calling her that!
She pulled her hands away from Katara's wrists, using them to cup Katara's cheeks to keep the kiss steady. A second later, she felt Katara's own hands do the same – they were soft and warm… though not nearly as warm as Azula felt now that their bodies were pressing together. After several minutes of deep, passionate kissing – broken up by a few three second breaks to gulp down oxygen – those hands started pulling at their clothes. Before long, Azula was down to her underwear and Katara was clad in white wrappings that, although rudimentary, looked absolutely fantastic on her…
As those memories flashed through her mind, all Azula could do was sit there in the grass, half-naked, feeling the sun on her back, staring wide eyed and slack jawed into space – she couldn't even breathe.
Then, slowly, she turned her head and looked around the clearing. There was no sign of Katara, the waterbender wad gone – the only things of note were Azula's clothes, scattered where Azula could remembered them being thrown. She staggered to her feet and took a small step towards them… then her legs gave out and she collapsed, falling to her knees with a face whiter than snow, her entire body trembling like she was surrounded by that snow and her breath rasping in her throat with her eyes shaking in their sockets.
What have I done?
What had she done?
She had kissed… and slept with Katara, a peasant… a waterbender… an enemy… a girl! Any of those alone would be enough to guarantee disgrace, but all of them combined? Azula couldn't even begin to imagine what her father would say!
…
Dad…
Azula was glad she was alone as a strangled sob worked its way up her throat and crawled out her mouth – she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears start to build up as more whimpers began to scuttle past the growing lump on her throat. She hated the weak, childish sounds she was making but she couldn't stop herself.
If he finds out about this, he'll… he'll…
To the Fire Nation at large, Zuko had been scarred and banished simply because he had spoken out of turn and refused to fight, dishonouring both himself and the Fire Lord in the process. But to anyone who understood the politics of the Royal Family, the Agni Kai had simply been the excuse Ozai had been looking for to get rid of his failure of a son, and the outcome would have been the same regardless of whether he had fought or not. For his entire life, Zuko had been embarrassing and disgracing their father with his weakness, incompetence and faint heart. He had not been – and was not – fit to inherit the title of Fire Lord.
And now, in a single night, Azula had single-handedly caused more damage to their honour than Zuko had managed in all his sixteen years! He had been scarred and banished… she would be lucky if she got anything close to that! A lifetime in a cell would be more likely! And that was assuming Ozai didn't order her to be ex…
No… f-father would never do that to me… he loves me, I'm his heir, his perfect daughter… I've done everything he wanted… he wouldn't… he…
Azula screamed! The screech roared up her throat and leapt from her mouth, echoing through the empty air and past the trees.After several moments the roar died away and the Princess slumped forward, slamming her fists down on the ground and sending out blue sparks, singing the surrounding grass.
She was a degenerate – one of the worst kinds of people! Degenerates were mad, perverted and disgusting… and now, as much as she wanted to deny it, Azula knew she was one of them. If she wasn't, the kiss wouldn't have felt anything like it had!
Ever since she had been young, Ozai had made Azula understand the importance of perfection. Anyone could be good enough, but as his daughter, it was her duty to be the best of the best. And Azula had strived to meet his expectations: her power, her intelligence, even her appearance had all been in line with what the future-Fire Lord had demanded they be – it was his way of preparing her for the future. It had been hard, gruelling work – sleepless nights of studying, countless hours spent in the training area and never, ever showing how hard it all was – even for a prodigy. If Azula had ever thought about doing that, all she needed to do was take a look at how her father had treated Zuko and immediately her determination would be renewed – she never, ever wanted her father to look at her or speak to her like that.
And now, here she was, having seemingly ignored all his lessons on the importance of perfection… and no amount of hard work and skill could ever fix it! If she was found out, all her hard work for the past fourteen years would have been for nothing! Ozai would never have a degenerate for an heir – tradition would never allow it! She'd be cast out, imprisoned, used as a cautionary tale of what happened when Royalty failed. And Zuko – whiny, snivelling, pathetic Zuko – would be invited back in. Because no matter how much of a failure he was, he would be better than a degenerate – especially one who had let the Avatar slip through her fingers when she had given in to lust! Azula had failed her father! And now, the Fire Lord would see to it that she was properly punished…
...If I'm found out!
The annoying lump in her throat collapsed as Azula lifted her head, steam curling into the air from her narrowed eyes, her unshed tears gone like they were never there. The only way that being a degenerate could condemn her was if her father found out she was a degenerate, and there were only two people in the world who had access to that information – herself and Katara.
So all I need to do is deal with her Azula thought as she rose to her feet and then I'll bury this deep down, somewhere where it can never escape! While hard work and skill couldn't fix this problem, it could cover it up. And then she would do whatever it took to convince her father that she was the perfect child! Even if it meant conquering Ba Sing Se singlehandedly, she would do it! She would prove herself worthy of his approval and love!
Stepping towards her clothes, she leaned down, reaching out with her left hand to grab her shirt… then she paused. Her left arm was the arm Katara had cut, and the one she had healed, leaving behind a scar that throbbed whenever she exerted too much effort. But Azula had just used that arm now… and she hadn't so much as winced.
Pulling it back, Azula inspected her arm, running her eyes over every inch of skin – yes, there was no scar in sight. The Princess frowned, scars like that didn't just fade overnight, so how…
Katara! Azula's eyes narrowed as she realised the obvious culprit. If that waterbender could heal the original, much worse wound, then doubtless she could easily finish the job. The only question was why? Was it an apology for creating it in the first place, for convincing her to give in to lust or for leaving while she was still asleep?
Well, whatever reason, she did a good job Azula reluctantly admitted as she flexed her arm, noting that it was like she had never been injured in the first place. But it wasn't very smart she added, clenching the fingers into a fist with a smirk. Next time, she wouldn't be caught off guard.
Getting dressed was a quick and simple affair, but by the time she had pulled her boots on, Azula was aware of several problems: her left sleeve was still ripped from Katara's attack and there was a little blood splattered on it – both of which would be hard to explain; and since her hair had been hanging free since her hairpin had been knocked the night before, she was going to have to style it herself to avoid suspicion… which Azula didn't know how to do since it was a servant's job!
Well, time to figure it out Azula thought as she headed towards the lake. She knew she could just leave it as it was and claim it had come out by accident – but she was already late back to the tank-train – very late she added, glancing at the sun – and while she couldn't do anything about her sleeve, the less suspicion she aroused overall, the better.
And it was a good thing she decided that, because when Azula knelt down and looked at her reflection in the water, her problems increased from two to four: most of her lipstick was gone, and what was left had been smeared across her face – no doubt a result of last night; and second… she had a hickey!
Gently tapping the small area of bruised skin on her neck, Azula winced, she knew how it had come about…
Azula gave a little moan as Katara sucked on her neck…
The Princess shuddered and scowled, glaring down at the mark's reflection. She could cover it up with her collar, and if anyone did happen to see it, she'd say it was a bruise – a little hard to believe, considering who she was, but it would do. As for her missing makeup… well it was makeup, it was designed to come off – that was how the people who made it stayed in business! All that was needed was a quick wash to wipe away the smudges.
Once that was out of the way and her face was clean, Azula eyed both the flame-shaped hairpin in her hand with one eye and the reflection of her hair with the other. Smooth, glossy, soft to the touch, it was the envy of every Fire Nation girl and woman (and some boys and men), it suited her features like the red field of the Fire Nation emblem suited the black flame. And now it would yield.
"Listen closely hair, it's time to bow before your Princess." Servants did it easily all the time – how hard could it be?
Twenty minutes later…
The hairpin sailed through the air as Azula's glare chased it across the clearing, until embedding in a tree, digging several inches into the bark and coming to a shuddering stop.
Tracking the Avatar had been nothing compared to arranging her hair! Every strand seemed determined to defy her in the most infuriating way possible! She would fold one and then two would spring out of place! Attempting to herd elephant rats was surely easier than this!
Fine, so the hair stays like this! Azula was painfully aware of how much time she had already wasted. She needed to come up with an explanation for why her sleeve was torn so she would just add her hair onto that! Striding across the clearing, Azula plucked the hairpin out of the bark and stuffed it in her shirt. So her hair, sleeve, lipstick and hickey had all been taken care of (she could come up with a story for the first two on the way back), that seemed like just about everything... As she thought about anything she might have missed, Azula's eyes were drawn to a trail of broken twigs, crumpled leaves and flat patches of grass leading away from the clearing and deeper into the forest.
Immediately, the Princess knew that it could only have been Katara who had left the tracks. She wasn't here now, and if anyone else had stumbled across the clearing during the night, they definitely wouldn't have just let her be upon seeing her in such a vulnerable state. So if the tracks only had one culprit, then they could only lead to one person.
The Avatar… and they're not already here trying to capture me which means that they've already left.
Azula weighed her options: she could follow the trail and see what she could find herself; or she could head back to her mongoose lizard, regroup with her team and bring them here, three pairs of eyes would have a better chance of spotting something than just one. But the thought of bringing Mai and Ty Lee here made Azula uneasy, they would already be wondering why she had been out all night and just one mistake (no matter how small) could lead to them figuring everything out! Ty Lee was smarter than she looked (connections could get you into the Royal Fire Academy for Girls but they didn't keep you there) and Mai had been raised by politicians – if she ever found something that convinced her to put actual effort in, she would be a problem.
I could always threaten them into silence Azula mused as she studied the trail. Fear was always a good motivator to keep your mouth shut… no, no, it was too risky. She didn't want anyone coming near this forest – Azula would handle this herself.
After twenty minutes of tracking, Azula was confident that she had found where the Avatar had been camping the night before – the faint smell of food was a good sign but what really made the mundane patch of trees so telling were the little white clumps she found… clumps that shared an uncanny resemblance with the tuft of white fur currently stashed in her mongoose lizard's saddlebag.
So they still haven't figured it out Azula raised an eyebrow, running her fingers over the fibres before rising to find what direction they led in – then she smirked. Father will be pleased…
o – o – o – o
When the three metal cars of the tank-train had rumbled to stop and refused to go any further, Azula had been furious. Not only would the Avatar be able to increase the distance between them now, but the place where they had broken down was the last place Azula ever wanted to be stuck in – just short of an Earth Kingdom stronghold. The grassy field offered no natural defences, no identifying landmarks and no hiding spots! If it wasn't for the fact that Lo and Li promised that they would find whatever was wrong with the machine and fix it – something Azula would have found preposterous if the two old crones hadn't proven that they could actually drive the machine. With the matter of repairing their transport settled, Azula had refused to just sit and do nothing while her target got further and further away, and thus had instructed Mai and Ty Lee to take their mounts and head in two different directions while she went in a third to see if they could find anything and to be back within three hours.
As she rode her nameless lizard across the field, feeling the sun's heat across her back and seeing its light on every inch of grass in sight, Azula noted with annoyance that saying that she had ignored her own command would be the most blatantly obvious statement in the world right now. Not only was she late, she was horrendously late – she could already hear the questions her team would no doubt have bouncing around her mind, and to each and every one, she knew she needed a rational and believable excuse – or, at least, anything better than the truth.
As she directed her mount towards the lowered ramp of the second car, Azula was grateful that the giant lizard had taken the initiative to not stay up all night – if he had, it would have been impossible for him to have gotten her back this quickly. A refreshed beast of burden was always better than a tired one – anyone could figure that out. As the two ascended the ramp, Azula braced herself.
Okay, here we… go?
She pulled her lizard to a stop, cocking an eyebrow the sight she was confronted with. She had expected at the very least to find Mai's and Ty Lee's lizards here, and at the most her allies themselves. Instead, there was simply an empty stable, and an empty car – the only noteworthy things there being the several dozen crates stacked against the walls outside the stable area, full of food, spare parts and other supplies, as well as a ladder leading up to several small rooms – one of which housed their messenger hawk.
A smile began to grow across Azula's face as she realised what the empty car represented. If their lizards aren't here, that means they aren't here! Of course! When they had gotten back the previous night, they would have set out to try and find her when she didn't come back. And since Mai and Ty Lee were gone, Azula knew that she had a golden opportunity to avoid the interrogation she'd been dreading.
But she'd have to move fast – if she had just come back, they could return any second!
Swiftly flicking her reins, she urged her lizard forward into the stable area. Once he was properly inside, Azula quickly leapt out of the saddle and dropped nimbly onto the metal floor. As the lizard lowered itself into a sitting position, Azula was already sprinting down the ramp and back onto the grass. Not wasting a second, she dashed across to the second car.
While the lead car held the engine and the third car held the stables and was used for storage, the second car was given over entirely to living space. Everyone on board the transport had their own room, along with the privacy and comfort that came with having your privacy. And as Azula pulled her door shut and locked it, she was never gladder for that privacy than she was now. Even if Mai and Ty Lee came back right that second and knocked on the door, they wouldn't be able to prove anything! Padding across the plush red carpet covering the metal floor, Azula was already pulling off her clothes as she headed towards her wardrobe.
The room was the size of a small apartment, with a Princess-sized four-poster bed that could fit foue people facing the door (just like how Azula's bed at the Royal Palace was arranged); a solid desk off to the side with a well-padded chair, several well-used candles standing tall on its surface; bookcases groaning under the weights of their loads on either side of that desk; red and black banners bearing the Fire Nation sigil adorned the walls, hiding the metal just as the carpet did for the floor and finally there was the large wardrobe that Azula was now striding towards. By the time she pulled it open, the Princess was just as clothed as she had been when she had woken up. Her eyes raked the clothes hanging up on display, most of them were simply her usual outfit, it was practical for her missions yet still fitting of her rank so there was little need for anything else. But Azula had made sure that she had some variety, clothes such as…
Aha! Azula plucked her red and gold bedrobe from its position and grabbed the respective leggings as she did so. Within a minute, she was studying her reflection in the mirror that hung on the wall above her desk.
This is too good the Princess thought gleefully to herself, smoothing out her robe. Not only did she not have to explain her lack of makeup, torn sleeve and hair, but now she could claim that she had spent part of the night inside her room, definitely not being a degenerate and letting the Avatar slip through her fingers. That only left the issue of her hickey to resolve. Studying the bruise on her neck, Azula noticed her long mane of hair, it was long – draping down past her shoulders and almost to the small of her back. Her eyes narrowed in thought. I wonder… Reaching up, Azula flicked several thick strands of black hair over her shoulder so that it covered her neck – and by extension, the mark.
Perfect! Folding her arms, Azula admired her reflection, smirking in satisfaction. If it wasn't for the fact that she had lived through everything she wanted to hide, she would have never thought it had happened in the first place.
It was about an hour later that Azula heard footsteps in the corridor and the small bangbangbang of timid knocking on her door. Rising from her desk, the Princess gave her reflection one final inspection – it wasn't just about making sure that she didn't look suspicious, as Princess, she had to be beyond presentable. Satisfied at what she saw, Azula strode over to the door, sliding the lock back before pulling open it open.
It was Mai and Ty Lee all right. And as Azula looked at them, she found herself wondering if she had ever thought about them in the same way she had thought about Katara and just hadn't noticed it. Ty Lee was definitely beautiful, you'd have to be blind not to know that, and Mai… got some attention. And now that Azula thought about it, she remembered having more opinions about their appearances than any boy's. She had never thought about them to the same extent as she had Katara – no dreams, no fluttering in the stomach and no obsessively thinking about them – but something had been there.
"Azula!" Ty Lee grinned, blinking heavily before springing forward to pull the firebender into a hug. "We're so glad you're back safely – we thought something terrible had happened to you!"
"Did you?" Azula raised her eyebrow, peeling the acrobat's arms away and keeping her at arm's length – the feeling of another female pressing their body against hers didn't exactly keep her blood pressure low.
"We spent all night looking for you and didn't find anything," Mai spoke up, she was standing behind Ty Lee with her arms folded and a note of irritation in her voice. "What exactly were we supposed to think?"
If Azula had to sum up her friends in one word, it would have to be exhausted. While Mai's face was as emotionally void as it always was, there were heavy bags under her eyes – which didn't look nearly as sharp as they usually did, like there was a thick mist hovering inside the tawny pupils. The situation was exactly the same with Ty Lee, except the pink-clad girl was trying to keep up her usual perky expression – a battle she was obviously losing, what with her drooping eyelids and the fact that her smile looked much less natural.
"That I can look after myself and you shouldn't jump to conclusions?" Azula suggested, folding her arms to match Mai. "I came back a little late and I've been here for hours – you can ask Lo and Li if you don't believe me." She jabbed with her thumb in the direction of the first car. After making sure that she looked convincing, Azula had gone over to the first car where she had found her firebending instructors still hard at work repairing the engine. They had looked even more tired than Mia and Ty Lee currently did and had only been aware of her absence in that she hadn't been back by the three-hour mark and that the others had gone to find her. Therefore, they had had no problem with accepting her story of having being back for hours – the fact she looked well-rested didn't hurt.
Alarm flashed over Ty Lee's face as she hurriedly shook her head. "Oh nonono, we believe you Azula, we do! We saw your mongoose lizard in the stables as we were coming back and he looks as well rested as you do! He wouldn't be like that if you had been travelling all night – he'd look…!"
"So you've been here the whole night?" Mai cut across Ty Lee's blabbering, raising an eyebrow as she stared inquiringly at Azula, who met her gaze evenly.
"Yes, that's what I just said."
The nonbender cocked her head to the side slightly. "Then why didn't we ever meet up on the way?"
Azula shrugged coolly. "Maybe you went a different way?"
Mai blinked blearily before pinching the bridge of her nose. "Ugh, I'm too tired for this! Did you find anything about the Avatar, because we didn't?"
"And we tried really hard!" Ty Lee added.
Azula thought about the clump of hair in her saddlebag, and the fibres she had found in the forest.
"No, I didn't find anything."
"So it was a complete waste of time," Mai muttered, turning on her heel and stomping down the corridor to her room, slamming the door shut with a bang that caused Ty Lee to wince.
Azula clenched her jaw. Note to self: be careful around Mai.
"I still think it was a great idea, Azula!" Ty Lee gushed, throwing her arms out in exclamation.
If Azula didn't know that Ty Lee was simply doing everything possible to stay off her bad side, then she would have suspected her of being the degenerate among them – the girl didn't stop trying to worship the ground she walk on, she would have made even the most sycophantic noble shake their head.
"Of course it was," Azula glanced at the acrobat. "Lo and Li said they'd have the engine up and running soon, so go get some sleep." She nodded towards Ty Lee's room. "I don't need you struggling to stand up when we catch the Avatar."
Ty Lee chuckled, swaying slightly. "Yeah – if I tried to chi-block anyone now, I'd probably just annoy them. Bye Azula!" She gave a little bow before turning and stumbling down the corridor, leaning on the wall for support.
Walking instead of backflipping – she's very tired.
Azula watched her friend until she had disappeared behind her door. Once she was out of sight, the Princess pulled her own door shut… before sagging against it, gasping in relief with one hand on her chest, feeling her heart hammering away as it had been since the door had been opened! As her legs gave out beneath her and she slid down to the carpet with her back against cold metal, Azula replayed the conversation over and over again in her mind, trying to recall if, at any point, she had given away anything!
Mai… Mai knows I'm lying, she could see it!
…
No… no, there's no way she could figure it out! Yes, yes, yes, we took different routes – that's perfectly believable!
Taking a deep breath, Azula staggered back to her feet and forced herself across her room to her desk. Dropping into her chair, she opened one of the desk's draws and pulled out a scroll. Slamming the draw shut, she unrolled her map of the Earth Kingdom. It was large, covering nearly the whole of her desk – it needed to be big since it depicted the entire Earth Kingdom, complete with terrain, landmarks, Fire Nation bases and military routes.
Azula still needed to find a way to convince her team to go the right way without spelling it out that she had been in the forest. She knew she could always just order them to, but she couldn't risk using a method that simple.
I need to get back on the Avatar's trail without anyone suspecting anything Azula reminded herself as she found the forest on the map. If Katara's told anyone, I don't…
At the thought of the other girl, Azula's eyes subconsciously flickered to her left arm – the upper part in particular. Just as subconsciously, her right hand rose and clamped over Even though it was long gone, Azula could picture the scar under the sleeve of her bedrobe… as well as the bloody gash that had come before it. She could remember the gushing blood, the throbbing pain… and the soothing relief of Katara's healing.
Azula pursed her lips and tightened her grip on her arm. Her father had been very clear about what fate she would meet if she was ever foolish enough to be captured – at best, she could expect to be ransomed or traded like a sack of fruit, at worst, whoever had defeated her would finish the job… but Katara hadn't done that. She had healed her – the enemy, someone she should hate and fear. True, she hadn't completely fixed the damage – that part made sense – but that part was negated by the fact that she had finished the job while Azula had been still asleep…
Oh right… that part. She had been unconscious and vulnerable while Katara had been wide awake. There had been literally nothing stopping the waterbender from finishing her off, or securing her to be taken back to the Avatar as a prisoner - Katara could even have taken the opportunity to steal her clothes, leaving her to head back in nothing but her underwear. As petty as that would have been, it wouldn't have surprised Azula if it had happened. But Instead, Katara had done nothing but fix the damage she had caused while defending herself.
Why? They were enemies, sworn enemies – Fire Nation and Water Tribe. Did Katara really think one night of kissing and touching each other changed anything?
No, that can't be it – she healed me before we kissed.
Azula's arm had been cut open before their little make-out session, and Katara had been willing to heal it to the point that it stopped bleeding so… no, she'd admitted to having a crush on her since New Ozai – so that must have been the reason for her little bit of generosity! She was just acting nice to get into my… that still doesn't make sense!
Azula blinked and lurched to a stop, surprised to find herself out of her chair and standing several feet away from her desk. At some point, she had apparently started pacing. After a few seconds, she shrugged and carried on striding back and forth across the carpet, pulling out every little detail she could remember about last night.
She remembered trying to convince Katara that she wasn't a degenerate, that she didn't have a crush on her and that excessively thinking about another girl was perfectly normal for a heterosexual female. At several points, it had looked as though she was getting through to the waterbender… enough that she needed a kiss to be certain. So Katara hadn't been completely sure of her sexuality before the kiss. So there hadn't been any kind of grand scheme, it was just Katara being stupid.
Azula shook her head. No, stupid didn't fit Katara: she had managed to win their duel, was smart enough to not heal her arm entirely and had somehow managed to convince her to kiss! There were no ifs or buts about it, Katara was intelligent and she hadn't healed her out of hopeless naivety or lust. The only explanation that made sense was that Katara genuinely didn't want to see anyone in pain – not even her enemies. And if that was the case… would she really go around telling people what they had done after Azula had made it clear that if she did so, nothing good would come out of it?
The thought made Azula pause in her pacing… before she burst out laughing!
What am I thinking? There was a huge difference between being squeamish around blood and keeping secrets! There was no way she could trust Katara to stay silent! The only way Azula could ever rest easy again – to know that she wouldn't snap awake in the middle of the night to find her door being kicked down – would be to find a way to make sure Katara could never tell anyone even if she wanted to!
Azula returned to her desk and leaned over the map, her eyes scanning the Southern Earth Kingdom for the forest this had started in – the forest she would avoid at all costs from now on. She knew the direction Katara, the Avatar and the others had fled in, all she had to do know was figure out where they were likely to stop…
But as Azula worked, she couldn't stop her mind wondering back to her arm – just like how she had kept thinking about Katara after first seeing her.
o – o – o – o
Katara took a deep breath, breathing in the cool night air. Cresting the small hill she had been walking up, she stopped and gazed out over the dozens of identical mounds scattered around her.
It was cold, and as Katara rubbed her arms to pull out the icy barbs, she thought about going back to the camp. The fire may have gone out but her sleeping bag was as warm as ever – plus, if she went back now, the less chance there was of someone waking up and asking what she was doing. Although she had a perfectly good explanation ready (she had just gone on a walk) it was still something she didn't really want to deal with.
All day long, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about Azula, and it wasn't like before when she just thought about how beautiful she was. Katara could do nothing but wonder exactly what Azula had done after she had woken up. Was she glad to be alone so she could work through her thoughts in peace, or was she hurt that Katara hadn't still been there so they could talk about what had happened together, or had she been disgusted about sleeping with an enemy and a girl? As the day had worn on and on, Katara became more and more convinced that she should have woken up Azula so they could both say the things they needed to.
At least I healed her scar – that proves I didn't just run off…
Sighing, Katara sat down on the hilltop, looking up at the stars in the sky. The fire at dinner had been warm, just like Azula. And long after it had shrunk to a small glow and everyone else had gone to bed, she had stayed awake, unable to sleep until she had decided that – for the second night in a row – a walk was in order.
And now here she was, sitting on a hilltop at least thirty minutes from the camp (she had been kind of wandering, deep in thought, and hadn't realised how far she had walked), thinking.
Where exactly did this leave her and Azula – were they still enemies? They had started last night off fighting but by the end they were sleeping beside each other. And after what they had done, it would be kind of awkward (to say the last) next time they fought.
And what if they met up again when there was no one else around to judge what they did. Would they fight, talk or just kiss each other again? Katara couldn't help but giggle slightly at the last one and the picture it put in her head… then she shook her head. Come on, this is serious! What was she going to do the next time she saw Azula?
Well she's trying to capture Aang for the Fire Lord, so as long as she keeps trying to do that, we're going to fight no matter what Katara reasoned, tapping her chin. But if she just wants to talk, we could always just do that.
She really hoped that it would be the latter. Going back to fighting like nothing had happened felt… wrong. Katara could still remember the frightened way Azula had denied the possibility that she was gay, whatever the Fire Nation's opinions on same-sex relationships, they were at least as bad as the Water Tribe's. She helped me accept my sexuality; it's only fair that I try to help her in return. And, who knows, it could led to something more, like Azula becoming disillusioned with the Fire Nation, joining their side and teaching Aang firebending. After all, if they were going to do something horrible to someone who had risked their life several times to capture their greatest threat, then surely Azula would see that they weren't worth supporting and ditch them!
…
Oh sure, and afterwards we'll become girlfriends and marry each other, living together in peace and harmony!
Katara scoffed and grinned, shaking her head. What was she thinking? Even if Azula could be punished for who she was, there was no way she would leave the Fire Nation! For one thing, they were winning the war – and no one would want to abandon the winning side; and for another, there was no evidence that could actually prove Azula was gay – all Katara had was her word, and the Fire Nation would have to be unbelievably bigoted to believe one of its greatest enemies! That sounded too cruel, even for the Fire Nation!
So everything will probably go back to normal Katara thought, not without disappointment, pulling her legs close and resting on chin on her knees. Azula would probably try to forget their meeting ever happened in the first place, viciously deny what she had realised about herself and follow up on the threat she had if Katara ever did tell anyone.
At least I got something out of it Katara thought, smiling a little. Before the meeting, she had been ready to bury who she was deep down; afterwards, she knew that one day, she would be willing to tell people – not today or tomorrow, but one da…
The rustle of feet on grass and the hairs on the back of Katara's neck standing up were her first clues that she was no longer alone. The low sound of breathing was just the ice in the cold drink.
Whoever it was, it was definitely a she … and Toph would have already said something if it was her.
No… no way, two nights in a row? What are the odds?
…Probably about as good as finding Aang a hundred years after he had disappeared.
Slowly, stiffly, Katara looked behind her, and she saw Azula.
The firebender was stooping at the edge of the hilltop, one knee on the grass. Her fists were clenched, her teeth were gritted and her eyes were squeezed shut. Her face was pale – and from the way her fists were shaking, Katara didn't think it was from the cold.
Katara felt her heartbeat rise as she started at the other girl – who seemingly hadn't realised she had been seen. The waterbender's thoughts raced as she tried to work out what she should do. Her pouch was strapped to her back and it was full of water, but there was no reason to attack – if Azula had managed to creep this close without being noticed, then she could have easily struck if she wanted to… but she hadn't. In fact, it looked like the other girl was wrestling with herself as to what to do… and if she was so consumed that she didn't know she had been spotted, then whatever her choices were, she was having a hard time making up her mind. There was also no reason to sneak away, even if she could, it wasn't right.
So I'm not going to fight or run away, that only leaves one thing.
Still sitting, Katara turned fully around to face Azula, trying to put on her most friendly smile and ignoring her churning stomach.
"Azula." She said, trying not to make it sound like she was asking a question.