I was woken by something hitting my laser burn, I jumped at the shock of pain, but quickly froze as I realized what position I was in. It was not often that I was a little spoon when I shared a bed with Robin. My hair, size, and initiation typically made me the big spoon. It had been Robins hand that had accidentally touched my burn though he was sound asleep from the little open mouthed breaths against my neck. I was reasonably locked in this position since he was using my hair as a pillow and had his arm around my side. It was quite comforting to be the cuddlee instead of the cuddler so I decided to close my eyes and just take in the moment. I assumed the sun had yet to rise since my internal clock would of woken me up at that point.

If I woke Robin up I doubted he would remain in such a position so I decided to lay still and hope that my injury would not be tweaked again. Despite the unconscious strike upon my injury this position was quite enjoyable. It was nice to be held and this position eliminated the need to crouch to equal out our heights. He could always wear the heeled shoes, but I knew they would alter his balance and agility so I never suggested it. I also never suggested being the little spoon since my hair was a real obstacle, and he always hesitated initiating contact unless there was a dual purpose to it. Fortunately his sleeping form was less skittish as he swung his leg over mine and mumbled something. I had to suppress laughter since this was a rare occurrence for him to be the "Octopus". He has referred to me as such before in cuddling and it was nice knowing that he could exhibit the same desire to be close and cuddle. I often wondered if he let me share a bed with him since he secretly craved touch as much as I did. I knew his mind got stressed and obsessed which made him deny himself things that were healthy, reasonable meals, sleep, and healing on some occasions. I wondered if affection was another thing he turned away even though he needed it. He had to justify it to initiate and if I gave it first he took it.

Though after the stress of the night before I think this was probably healthy for both of us. I needed safety and security. He needed me to have these things or he would be consumed by guilt. Well maybe healthy was not the right translation, but when your job requires you to ignore risk and harm to yourself health could be subjective. I think having us actually spar was helpful since that was both a way of communicating and expending energy. I hoped he would take my suggestion about having an actual weapon to heart. We had been fortunate so far to have lesser opponents, but Jinx, Kyd Wykkyd, and some of the higher techs would not be easily defeated with Ember's limitations. Though some would be satisfying to defeat. I understood how Robin could be drawn into this world if it meant learning how your opponents fought and thought. Though I was unsure if the risks were worth the reward on nights like this. I had been objectified openly before on numerous occasions, but it still made me uncomfortable. The principle was universally wrong, but if I was too be an object I would rather be a weapon or tool over a trinket.

I held my breath as he squeezed me tighter into him. I didn't want to do anything that could wake him up. I almost wished that I could get a photo, but knew such things were not possible. Me and Robin got moments, but they never lasted as long as I wished. I had wanted to bring up the topic of us actually committing to a relationship, but things had gotten more complicated with the fight club. He had asked me to be open to the attention of other men. This did not signal a desire for an exclusive romantic partnership. Though the hair pulling was assuredly flirting. This unfortunately did not help with all I endured under his orders.

Red X being strangely nice was not helping matters either. It would be hard to shoot eyebeams in his facing knowing that he would save a helpless girl from an abusive situation. I wasn't helpless, but he did seem to actually care about my wellbeing through all the nagging revolving around alcohol. It almost felt cruel to deceive him, but I had to believe that it would all be for the best of Jump to continue this mission. It felt a tad mean to flirt, but it was surprisingly fun in the moment. I just wished that some of Red X's forwardness could rub off on Robin. Red X was clear he found Ember attractive and wished to be around me, but it was Robin who's bed I shared. Not in the way Red X wished, but it was hard to process what I could hope for between me and Robin. Moments like this were not forever.

Though this one did linger on past the sunrise and through to the early hours past. I had gotten more comfortable not tensing as much, just truly enjoying the position of his embrace. Robin had scooted so that both his arms and legs were wrapped around me much like a koala around a tree. I wondered what his reaction would be when he woke, but I knew it would likely be a push away. We were like binary stars orbiting one another pulling closer and closer until we got too close and flung apart. I just wanted us to be like magnets and stay attached and not fight the attraction that was rather obvious I had learned by visiting other Titans.

I was going to keep his clothes that I had borrowed. They were rather comfortable and I enjoyed the fact that smelled like him. The shirt was not perfectly proportioned, but was soft and wonderful. I wished he felt comfortable showing his soft and wonderful side.

Wearing a mask as Ember made me realize how much he was truly hiding. I could have entire conversations with just my eyes as Starfire. With the mask I could play my thoughts and expressions to only show what I wanted to be seen. I was curious how much of Robin I wasn't seeing. Was it trust or simply another Batman based principle he took too far? I hoped it wasn't trust. I knew he trusted me with his life, but what about the details in it. Just knowing their color would answer many moments of wondering. What did he see in me? Did he have tan lines like a reverse raccoon? Would he be more handsome without it or had I fallen for the secret as well?

Though I had to respect his wish to keep secrets. He allowed me to keep some of my own, of course he did not know the extent of what I was hiding. I had hid my royal status at first and still kept hidden much of what that status actually involved in my upbringing and captivity. I had shared more last night when I discussed my ability to love without hinderance of gender. If I was still on Tamaran such discussions would not occur. It was too selfish of an act to love a woman as a princess when the royal line rested upon me. It was a pressure that I wished to avoid as long as I could. I did not fear motherhood. I looked forward to having beautiful bumforgs of my own. I just felt dread at bringing more princesses into a life and duty like mine had been.

I was being selfish remaining on earth as long as I had. I was being selfish and letting Tamaran rest in Galfore's hands. I was being selfish waiting for Robin to finally accept my love. Though I did not find the strength to do the right thing. I was not ready to lead Tamaran. I was not ready to leave Earth where people geuninely cared for me in number. I was not ready to leave this bed.

When Robin began to stir I refocused my heart so it would appear I was asleep. Maybe he would let himself be selfish as well, just this once.