"That's more like it," the Ripper said contentedly as she finished off the last demon. She removed her dagger from its eye and wiped it on the piece of cloth Ted had lent her earlier, even though it was already grimy with her own blood. She was covered head to toe in green slime, but she was grinning like a loon.

As soon as they'd set foot on the other side of the last portal, a horde of serpopards had attacked them. If Tony had been alone, he would have been torn to shreds a thousand times, and would have kept regenerating almost instantaneously, never dying, never fully healing, always being devoured.

Therefore, despite her psychopathic tendencies and blunt manners, he was glad that the Ripper had tagged along.

The whole business must have lasted less than a minute. Tony was still staring open-mouthed at the scene by the time the Ripper took care of the last demon. He'd come last through the portal and had found himself in a war zone, green gook and bits of serpopards flying everywhere.

Ted had observed from afar. He seemed mesmerised by the grace and skill of their favourite assassin as she'd stabbed three dozen demons to death all by herself.

"I'll give it to you," Tony said. "That was pretty impressive."

The Ripper shrugged. "That's why I'm here, innit?"

"Impressive?" Ted said. "It was bloody magnificent!"

The Ripper averted her gaze but made no comment. "Anyway. We should keep moving. Maybe there are more of them ahead," she added hopefully.

This realm looked like the Saharan Desert. There was sand. The blood-red sun would have instantly caused first-degree burns on a mortal. It would have disintegrated a mere vampire. Tony was thankful for his body's ability to ignore heat and cold alike.

Did he mention that there was sand? It was everywhere. Once they'd let the serpopards behind, there was nothing but sand. It was going to be a long walk. "Maybe we could ask Lilith to guide us to the nearest portal?" Tony suggested.

The Ripper shot him a reproachful glare. "I'm sure she has better things to do than babysit us, fledgling."

"Mm. Maybe we should ask your grandpa, then," he told Ted. "Surely Fen-"

"Shhhh!" Ted hissed. "Are you insane? We're lucky enough to have survived the fanged lady, but we can't risk naming him. If Greyback was savage, imagine what…that guy would be like."

That was a good point. But Lilith had been so nice and supportive! "What makes you think he'd resent you asking for help? Is it because we're here?" He made a gesture that encompassed the Ripper and himself. Granted, Lilith had not been particularly happy to see Ted.

"I'm just saying, if we can avoid meeting him altogether, we stand a better chance of getting out of here alive."

"Malkoran told you to avoid him, didn't he?" the Ripper said. Ted muttered under his breath. "Fair enough. Though it'd be nice if someone could point out the next portal, because I hate this place." She kicked at the sand, a mutinous expression on her face. She'd already forgotten about her recent fight with the serpopards, apparently.

"Why, you need only ask," a silky voice said.

Great. Whichever demon this was, at least they'd be out of the desert soon. Unless it decided to trap them in a pyramid or bury them under a ton of sand. Tony turned toward the demon. It was taller than most men, with broad shoulder and narrow hips. Its skin was bronze. It was wearing a black kilt, and nothing else. Tony hoped it was at least wearing boxer shorts underneath.

He recognised the demon right away. Its distinctive head was a dead giveaway. No one knew exactly what animal it was; possibly an aardvark, a jackal, a fennec or a donkey, perhaps a combination of two or more of those. Egyptologists simply called it the Set animal.

"Set?" he said. On the one hand, he was glad that he'd recognised it - him, but on the other hand… Well, it was Set. Technically, he was a god rather than a demon, but one of Chaos and Evil (most of the time, anyway). He definitely belonged here.

"A man with an education!" the god exclaimed. "Good, good. Recognition is bliss, is it not?" Nobody replied, but Tony figured that it was a rhetorical question. "Well, little human-headed bags of flesh. What can Set do for you today?"

Tony was about to ask about Sirius but Ted spoke over him. "How come you speak English? Aren't you an Egyptian…evil god?"

That was actually a very good question. When he'd stepped through the portal at the Ministry of Magic, Tony was worried that they wouldn't be able to communicate with any of the demons – the only one he'd ever encountered before, summoned when he was a foolish teenager, had spoken exclusively Cthulhian, and Walden wasn't here to translate this time. Instead, every demon spoke flawless English. British English. He assumed it was because they were greater demons. The blue bug they'd summoned all those years ago had been one of the lesser ones.

Set cocked his animal head sideways. "I'm merely dumbing it down for you, my dears. If you prefer, I can trace hieroglyphs in the sand, if it'll make your experience here more genuine."

"That won't be necessary," Tony said quickly. "It's just…how do you even know English? How did you learn it?"

Set stared at him. "I'm a god. I know every language in the universe. Now, what is it that you need, exactly?"

It was a bit odd that every demon – or god – they encountered tried to help them in their quest. Why was everyone so eager to see them succeed? That Lilith would assist them made sense, since she was the Original Vampire, practically family, but Set? Or Asmodeus, for that matter? Abaddon clearly had a crush on the Ripper, but still. "Why are you helping us?" They appeared helpful, but the trio had been travelling from one portal to the next with no idea where they were supposed to go. Were the demons toying with them?

Set considered his reply carefully. "Well…we're expressly forbidden to harm you, so we do the next best thing: we pretend to be helpful so we can be entertained by your shenanigans for as long as possible."

That was a blunt answer. The Ripper, though she was an expert on bluntness, didn't seem to like it. She took a step forward. "Who forbid you to harm us?" She made it sound like it was a bad thing.

"Also, if that's the case," Tony added, "how do you explain the serpopards?"

"Eh, I don't know who sent the memo," Set said indifferently. "But come on! The serpopards were just a bit of fun. I knew you could handle them. Lesser demons can't damage you, not permanently."

"But you can?" Too late, Tony realised that this was a stupid question to ask a malicious god.

Set regarded him with a predatory gaze. "I don't know, and I'm not allowed to find out."

Well, that was reassuring. "You know why we're here, then?" Set made no reply. "Are you going to lead us astray, like the others did?"

Set shook his head. "I have no clue why you're here. I just knew to expect you."

"We're looking for a mortal-" Tony began to explain, foraging in his pockets to find Sirius's photograph.

The godly demon (demonic god?) grinned, displaying a set (ha!) of sharp-looking teeth. "A mortal! Delicious. Such fine gourmet cuisine. I commend you for your impeccable taste in food."

"Er…he's a friend, actually."

"That's unusual," Set said. "I rarely befriend my food before consuming it."

"We have no intention of eating him," Tony said with some impatience. "We want to find him and bring him home. Alive and in one piece," he clarified, in case Set was still confused.

He was, apparently. "Home…you mean the Mortal Plane? Why in Ra's name would you-" He cut off, gagging and coughing, like a cat trying to expel a hairball. "Ugh. Pardon me. I misspoke. I meant, why in the Master's name would you ever go there?"

"Because that's where we come from," Tony said, passing a hand through his hair. Was Set being dense on purpose? "Hence the term 'home'."

"But this is your home," Set insisted. "You're demon spawn, you have immortal souls. You belong here, with your kin, not with the filthy humans."

Tony took a deep breath, something he had not done in a long time, but Ted put a hand on his shoulder to prevent an explosion of temper. "Do you know where we can find our friend?" the Wolf asked. "Do you have any idea at all?"

Set closed his eyes for a moment. A rather long moment. Tony wondered if he'd fallen asleep when he finally opened them again. "He's not in my realm, that I can tell you. His soul is not in the Duat, either, according to my brother."

Ted frowned. "Your brother…Osiris?" The barest of nods. "Did you just…ask him?"

"Yes, I did," Set replied offhandedly, as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Tony had been taught that the two of them were nemeses or something, but maybe that had changed over the centuries. (Millennia? Eons?) "Okay, let's think about it, children." Set began pacing. As you've no doubt guessed by now, there aren't many mortals in these parts. They're useless and revolting and therefore unwelcome. Still, the Master occasionally keeps a handful of them around. Their purpose is mainly decorative, though they can serve as coat hangers or cup bearers when the Master wants to impress his guests. These mortals' souls are still attached to their bodies, but they're unhinged, which renders them unable to do anything but stand and obey simple commands. The dead mortals, the ones whose souls have been detached entirely or vaporised, are used as fodder for Apophis. He does love human meat." He smiled approvingly at Apophis's taste in food.

Let us hope that Sirius is part of the first category, Tony thought.

"We'll want to pay the Master a visit, then," the Ripper said. "How do we get there?"

"I'm not allowed in His realm," Set grimaced. "Few of us are."

That would have been too easy, Tony supposed. "Is there a portal nearby, so we can search another realm, until we find someone who can actually help us?"

"You don't need a portal. I can teleport you anywhere you want. Well, almost anywhere."

Tony blinked. "Wait, can all greater demons do that?" He could see outrage in the Ripper's eyes as she must have had the same thought.

Set shook his head. "Nah, not all of them, but most. Asmodeus and Abaddon certainly can. There is a hierarchy amongst the…greater demons, as you call them. There are realms that are off-limits to some or all of them. It's quite complicated – they're territorial and they don't like to share."

Tony noted that Set didn't consider himself a greater demon – he said "them", not "us".

"Could the Lady Lilith-" the Ripper began to say.

Set laughed heartily. "The only realm Lilith is allowed to visit freely is her own. She will be punished for setting foot outside of it to come to your aid."

"She'll be punished?" the Ripper repeated in a low, worried voice.

Set ignored that and went on explaining how travelling worked within Pandemonium. Tony wished they'd been informed when they first arrived, but the Ripper had pissed off Death... "The portals are meant for lesser demons. Greater demons can travel at will, with certain restrictions according to their…rank." He grinned again. "Your various antics in Pandemonium have been highly entertaining, though, which will certainly explain why no one bothered to give you a ride."

Tony considered several choice expletives, but eventually settled for another question. "But if you can't send us to the Master's realm, how does that help us?"

Set shrugged. "It's the only place I cannot access. As a god, every other realm is within my reach, and therefore yours. Tell me where you want to go and I'll send you there. Or I can point you in the direction of my realm's portal. It's entirely up to you. That way, if the destination is unsatisfying, you have only yourselves to blame," he said cheerfully.

"Alright." Tony glanced at his two companions. "Just…give us a moment to discuss this among ourselves, please?" Set took three steps backwards, produced a nail polisher out of thin air and went to work on his nails, feigning disinterest in their conversation.

Ted and the Ripper moved closer to Tony. "I'm going to strangle Abaddon until his eyeballs pop out of his stupid skull and I'll make him eat them!" the Ripper growled. "Then I will find Asmodeus and rip his tongue out, and feed it to his son!"

"Hey, I get it, you're annoyed and frustrated," Tony said soothingly. They all were. "But leave Magnus out of this, yeah?" He hoped that the youthful-looking warlock had made it out of Pandemonium safely. "We have to talk to the Master, somehow. If Sirius is alive, he'll be there. There must be a way to get to his realm."

"Actually," Set called, unabashed that he was eavesdropping, "the Master's realm is not open to visitors, no matter how distinguished. Unless you're summoned, of course."

Distinguished visitors? Was that what they were?

"Well, not all of you," Set said with a snide smile. He gestured toward the Ripper. "She is. You're not."

Tony cursed himself for a fool. Gods can read minds. Got to remember that.

Then: Wait. The Ripper is considered a distinguished guest?

"This is Pandemonium, little fledgling," Set reminded him. She's quite the legend around here.

Don't do that! Tony exclaimed. Don't talk to me in my head. Merlin, stop intruding!

"Can you two have a normal conversation, for fuck's sake?" the Ripper barked. "This is maddening! What are you saying about me?"

"Nothing," Tony lied. "Let's get back on tracks. Does the Master have a…secretary or something? Someone who takes appointments for him? There has to be at least one demon who has access to-"

Set roared with laughter, his animal head thrown back. "You have no idea how hilarious that is! He doesn't have a pretty blonde girl waiting by the telephone, if that's what you had in mind," he said, still chuckling. "But you are correct nonetheless. There is such a demon…" His eyes were bright with glee. "I'll be delighted to take you to him."

To be fair to all the greater demons they'd met and who had not mentioned the teleportation thing, travelling via sandstorm was less pleasant than using a portal. Well, most portals, anyway.

Of course, Set had refused to give them the name of the demon they were looking for. Again, it would have been too easy. He'd assured them that they would know him when they saw him, though.

As he dusted himself off and spat another mouthful of sand, Tony noticed that this place was very different from any other realm they'd visited before. It was quite crowded, for one thing. There were demons everywhere, lesser ones, milling about in a rush, ignoring everyone else. None of them tried to attack the trio. They didn't even spare them a glance.

Screams of agony echoed across the valley – the area looked like what Tony imagined Mordor looked like, back in Sauron's glory days. The ground was black and rocky. A volcano was spewing lava in the distance. The air smelled of sulphur. Some of the demons even looked vaguely like goblins and Uruk-hai.

No demon really stood out in the mass, however. After exchanging a look with the other two, they decided to move. They walked toward the volcano. Tony hoped that the demon in charge of this realm wasn't the actual Sauron. Was that even possible? After everything they'd seen, all the demons they'd encountered, Tony wouldn't be too surprised if that were the case. At least there was no giant fiery eye in the sky.

Several hundred metres ahead, there was a large, shallow pit in which demons were being tortured in various ways. Some were being quartered, others set on fire or waterboarded with acid. Tony looked away in disgust. "Why are demons torturing other demons?"

The Ripper shrugged. "Maybe they disobeyed orders, or didn't get things done to their boss's taste. Lesser demons are notoriously lazy and fickle."

"And ugly," Ted added as they passed a pinkish horror with masses of tumours all over its face.

The Ripper smiled thinly. "That, too."

A scream among the constant wails and moans caught Tony's attention. It sounded…familiar. He scanned the pit, and eventually spotted-

His heart figuratively skipped a beat. "Is that…Greyback?" he whispered in horror. Ted nodded mutely. He'd noticed him, too.

The Wolf was being branded with a hot poker – a series of numbers was etched into the skin of his forearm. The most recent brand mark vanished as Tony watched. Interesting; even dead, Greyback still regenerated. Was he dead, though? He looked very much alive.

"That's cruel, even for this place," Ted murmured. "That's his Auschwitz number."

Tony didn't care. Greyback had done worse. Much worse.

If Jeanne hadn't wound up in Pandemonium after she died, why was Greyback here? Was that what the last sentence of his Library biography meant? His soul had been "unsuccessfully harvested" because it had somehow ended up here instead of…wherever immortal souls went when the body they inhabited finally died?

The Ripper nudged him in the ribs and spoke in a murmur. "Look at his torturer. It has to be the demon we're after."

She was probably right, because the demon who was torturing the Wolf didn't look like a demon at all; like all the greater demons they'd met before, he had donned a human appearance. He was tall and muscular, with skin darker than the Bloodmother's and a bald head. He was bare-chested and wore baggy camouflage pants that stood out in this hellish setting.

In a sea of ugly, misshapen demons, it seemed logical to assume that the good-looking humanoid one was in charge. They made their way toward him.

The demon's head snapped in their direction when they approached. "Ooh, snacks!" he exclaimed in delight, showing filed teeth. He sniffed the air around them, and his silvery eyes rested on Ted with a small frown. "Mm, you smell familiar." He glanced briefly at Greyback before returning his attention to them. His expression hardened. "Oh, it's you. Took your sweet time."

"Who're ye?" Ted demanded, though Tony had a pretty good idea who the demon was, and suspected that Ted did, as well, from the way he'd tensed upon being sniffed.

The demon grinned suddenly. "You may recognise me more easily in this form."

The ground rumbled. Lesser demons scattered. The man who stood before them grew in size until he was taller than the volcano behind him, and then his shape shifted into that of a wolf, a gigantic black animal with golden eyes. Its paws crushed demons and boulders alike. The beast was still grinning, and each of its fangs was about Tony's height.

"Told you we shouldn't look for him," Ted muttered resignedly.