Heyyyy...again.

I think the start of book one was a bit much, wasn't it? Man, I was just Percy's so hot. Percy makes girls swoon. Percy is an unattainable magician. It was a bit much. Now he's pretty attractive, but is still pretty fit because demigods. I mean, he's good looking, but not as much as I was making out him to be.

WARNING: AWFUL PUNS VERY EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. EVEN WORSE THAT POOPYHEAD. GO FORTH AND SUFFER!

Harry trudged miserably along the path to the gates, Ron, Hermione, and Percy behind him, although Percy didn't look that sad.

Snape strode behind them, his back straight, his black robes billowing behind him, Harry had never seen him so happy.

"Uh... Snape," said Percy, looking confused, "Are you okay??"

Snape scowled, "Why, Mr Jackson?"

"There's this weird thing on your face, it seems to have replaced your mouth, maybe you should see Madame Pompfrey-"

"That's a smile, you idiot!" Snarled Snape, "But you've never seen it before because I have to teach you and your fellow band of useless sacks of meat and skin!"

"Phew," said Percy, looking relieved, "Snape's back! No need to go to St Mungo's!"

Snape growler silently to himself.

Harry just kept on scraping his feet against the ground, Ron and Hermione following suit.

Percy pointed to the lake, which was down at the bottom of a steep cliff from the path they were walking on.

"Oh look!" He cried, "An ugly old hag! Look Snape, she looks perfect for you!"

Snape turned to the lake, looking hopeful, but, seeing it devoid of ugly hag, turned back to Percy, ready to chew him out.

But, as he was turning, Percy gave him a heavy shove, and Snape went tumbling into the lake, entering with a splash.

"Oh my God!" Shrieked Hermione, "Percy!"

"He'll be fine," said Percy, brushing Hermione's protests off.

"B-but falling from that height," stammered Hermione, "He'll have died!"

"Hermione," insisted Percy, "He's fine."

Sure enough, Harry saw a speck clamber out of the lake, and start clambering up the cliff face.

"How..." said Harry, lost for words.

"Never mind," said Percy, "We need to run!"

And with that, they pelted off into the forbidden forest.

"Well," said Percy, panting a little, "How do expect to get to Sirius, Harry?"

Harry had no idea, "I have no idea," he wheezed.

"You can't be sirius," exclaimed Ron, "What now?"

Harry clutched his hair, "I dunno, I guess we cry?"

And with that, he sat down and had a good old sob.

Not really, instead a dead horse started nibbling his ear.

"Argh!" Harry cried, leaping what felt like ten metres in the air, "What the hell is that?"

He looked at Hermione for an answer, but she just looked confused, "What's what Harry?" She asked.

"You don't see them?" Asked Harry.

"See what mate?" Asked Ron, looking at Harry like he was insane.

"Percy?" Asked Harry, turning to him.

"Argh!" Cried Percy, who was being swarmed by dead horses, who were going insane, bucking and neighing, and nibbling Percy like dead horses had never nibbles before, "Argh! Shit! Leave me..." Harry saw Percy arm waving desperately, before it disappeared in the sea of mouldy dead horses.

"No!" Shouted Harry, falling to his knees, "Percy!"

He made for Dead Horse Sea, but Ron and Hermione held him back.

"Harry!" Shouted Ron, "What the bloody hell are you doing? Percy's fine, he's just lying on the ground..."

"What's wrong Harry?" Asked Hermione, "You're scaring us."

Just then, a figure erupted from the sea of dead horse, looking imposing and dangerous, it couldn't be-

"Percy?" Asked Harry, blown away in disbelief.

"Stop calling me that," muttered Percy, "No I don't have any mouldy doughnuts, how do you even know what doughnuts are?"

"Percy?" Asked Harry, now very confused.

"Oh," said Percy, looking surprised, like he'd forgotten they were there, "Hi guys, look, I've got us a ride to Sirius.

"I always knew dark haired, green eyed blokes who look so alike it can't be a coincidence and must be a big part of the plot were loony," muttered Ron.

"No!" Said Percy, "You can't see these mouldy dead Pegasi because they're invisible to you, they're-"

"Thestrals," came a voice from the forest, and, before the four could draw they're wands, Luna, Neville, and Ginny emerges from the trees.

"Where here to help," said Ginny, "Saddle up."

Okay, I know it's annoyingly short, and it's been a while but I couldn't be bothered to do any more, and damn if that ending wasn't lovely and dramatic.

Cori Amira asked me to put their name here, but I went above and beyond and wrote a heartwarming poem. I'm amazing:

"Cori Arima wanted me to update more

Often, even though I'm

Really lazy.

I updated anyway.

And it was a

Really disappointing chapter.

I'm sorry.

My condolences.

Ah well."

See? It's an acrostic! I'm so dedicated. And all I ask for is your soul and freedom.

This chapter's song: Natural, by Imagine Dragons.

All bow Percy.

Peace out.