Disclaimer : I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.
Quick Note: Please read Author's End Notes!
As her lips parted, about to query, Annie had already begun to answer. "I am not the 'evil villain' you think I am for breaking up with Armin. I broke up with Armin because he was still in love with you."
In less than a second since Annie said that, Mikasa's glare softened, disappeared and changed into both looks of confusion and denial.
What?
Why am I so bothered? Eren thought with a sigh as he finally exited the washroom after cooling himself down. Although, if it weren't for the fact he hadn't gotten an answer from her—whether she did reject him or not—he'd have stayed hidden in the washroom a little longer, because that jittery feeling in his stomach hadn't fully left. Because he still didn't know why he overreacted like that. It was Mikasa's own romantic life, not his, after all. Either way… she didn't accept his confession… right?
Right?
And if she did, what the hell did she in that horse-face of his? I—
His thoughts were interrupted when his eyes caught sight of something that he thought he'd never see in his life: Mikasa getting cornered.
After her recovery from Levi's abandonment when she was younger, she became stronger, more confident and indisputably scary—If you push the wrong buttons. But the Mikasa in front of him looked confused, nervous… but her nervousness didn't seem to just be because of the person who cornered her, whose familiar face shocked Eren even further.
Annie. He hadn't seen her for a while, not after the breakup with Armin.
His opinion of Annie was a little more generous than that of Mikasa. He did dislike the fact she supposedlybroke his friend's heart, but it was better than running, hiding and cheating. And he couldn't bring himself to judge her completely, not when it seemed like he didn't know the full story.
Nonetheless, he hadn't expected the next time he'd ever see Annie would be in this sort of situation, where she had Mikasa cornered, looking so troubled. Just what exactly were they talking about?
Unfortunately, before he could even intrude on their conversation, his presence didn't manage to escape Annie's radar which identified him almost immediately.
Her crystal eyes tore away from Mikasa, and looked towards Eren. "It's been a while, Eren." That was the only form of acknowledgement she offered to the brunette who approached the scene. She took one last look at Mikasa, who turned away, frowning. Eren didn't understand why. What did she tell Mikasa? Did she say something hurtful? But it isn't like Mikasa to get hurt by Annie's insults, right?
"Annie—" Eren called, a futile attempt of interrupting.
"Think about it, Ackerman." She said crudely, ignoring Eren before walking off, back towards the café where her ex awaited her return, unsuspecting of how much she had just exposed him.
Eren's brows knitted as he watched Annie walk off, "What's her problem?" He muttered, before turning back to Mikasa. "Did she say something bad to you…?" He queried, noticing how her frown remained, how she looked so puzzled and frazzled from the confrontation.
"No… it's nothing important." Mikasa assured, but it wasn't enough to convince Eren. She still was looking away, unable to make eye contact. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere as well. Just what did Annie tell her?
"…Let's go home first, alright?" He said, knowing that she probably wouldn't tell him what had happened. At least not in public. And judging from the sudden troubled expression she wore, he knew that home was the place that she really wanted to be at right now.
"EREN!" Carla yelled across the hallway. "Don't stay up too late okay?"
"Okay, okay…" He sighed.
"What?! I can't hear yo—"
"YES MOM!" Eren groaned before he heard his mother shut her room door. Mikasa chuckled quietly, causing a brow to be raised from Eren. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing…" She smiled a little as she untied her hair, letting loose her bun, her long hair draping down her covered shoulders. "It's just so lively at your home, like before when we were kids." She commented, before taking a seat on Eren's bed.
"You think?" He sighed.
Mikasa had been under the Jaeger's care and hospitality for quite a while now, and never had she felt so welcomed. Carla didn't pry all too much as to why she'd be staying over, and decided to settle on the reasoning that it was for the sake of convenience regarding their Geography project Eren had informed her of a week or so back. That or, she felt a little lonely given her unfortunate childhood. Either way it didn't manner, she was more than delighted to welcome her into her household.
For the time being, she had been sharing a room with Eren, given the fact there wasn't really any spare and proper beds lying about. And upon Carla's and even Eren's persistence, she had been sleeping on what was Eren's bed, while Eren slept on a mattress on the ground.
"You can rest on your own bed, you know?" Mikasa muttered softly. "I don't mind sleeping on the ground… your family has done enough for me." She added, still feeling a tinge of guilt for intruding in Eren's own private space.
"I already told you, it's fine." He assured before collapsing onto the mattress on the ground. "I just want you to feel comfortable." Besides, he thought, it's better than sleeping on the actual cold hard ground, or sleeping bag.
His eyes took a glance towards Mikasa, she looked better as compared to before. Although admittedly it still seemed like something weighed on her mind, even if she didn't want to admit it out loud. It still bothered him, whatever Annie said to her. Despite his continuous persistence earlier, she refused to tell him any detail of the things Annie said to her.
"It's just… a personal thing." Was her excuse to avoid his questions when they had just returned back home. And she had said it with such hesitance.
"A personal thing?" Eren frowned, discontented with her answer as an interrogative tone slowly made its way into his voice. I'm not going to settle for such a simple answer, was what he thought at first.
"Yeah… a personal thing. You… wouldn't understand" Mikasa reasoned. "Please, Eren? Just let it go this once." The pleading eyes she flashed him once those words had left her lips had completely caught him off guard, and dissolved the interrogative tone he had. "Please?" She repeated it, before gripping onto his hand gently, as if it were her way of reassuring him that whatever that happened between her and Annie earlier, wasn't serious.
And hell, Eren gave in. He settled for such a simple reason… a simple plea like that even though he wasn't exactly satisfied by it. To think that the day Eren Jaeger would give in to her just because of one, simple look and gesture would come.
What is up with me these days? Acting so soft… urgh… He thought. Giving into her like that… honestly…
"Fine." He relented, and Mikasa nodded, grateful. Her puppy-like eyes remained, and it flustered Eren enough for him to be unable to tell if the smile that later cracked on her lips was for his reassurance or if it was a sign that Annie's words truly and genuinely didn't bother her.
She seems better now anyway… He decided, for now at least.
...
"But if you feel uncomfortable…" Mikasa said, bringing Eren back to the present, her eyes still focused on him. "We could always—"
"It's fine, Mikasa." Eren groaned quietly, "Get some rest for now, alright? We have school tomorrow after all…" He sighed, before turning off the switch. "Goodnight." He mumbled, about to close his eyes until he felt something tugging in his brain—as if he had forgotten something, and his brain was only now trying to jog back the memory. And he hated that his mind, out of nowhere, decided to spring something on him, when all he just wanted right now was a good night's sleep. Hell, what did I forget?
"Goodnight." Mikasa wished back, unaware of Eren's current memory struggle. She turned herself away, hugging one of the stuffed toys she and Armin had gifted him a long time back (which she was a little surprised, but touched that he had kept it.) closely to her.
Truth be told, what Annie said to her before Eren's arrival still weighed on her conscience.
"He loved you. And he still does, romantically." Mikasa recalled her words crystal clear, especially how she purposefully placed an emphasis on the word romantically, as if to drill that message through Mikasa's thick skull once and for all. "And you'd be blind if you choose not to believe it." She wasn't holding back, and she was as blunt and straightforward as ever. She didn't plan to sugar coat anything.
Mikasa wondered how long she had been blind then. How did she not see the little, trivial signs until now? How he sounded so frustrated when he made her aware of her feelings for Eren; a frustration that Mikasa now realised could've actually been jealousy. And she found it so strange. If Armin had feelings for her, why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he do anything? Why did he still want to help her with her crush—with Eren?
"Think about it, Ackerman."
Mikasa didn't know how she was going to face him tomorrow, or more specifically how she should approach the topic. Should I act like nothing happened? But what good will that do? Running away…
Mikasa was fully aware of how unfair and selfish it would be of her to not address his feelings that he had kept hidden from her for so long. Unsure of how she should deal with this, a part of her was tempted to relay what Annie said to Eren because she didn't know who else to turn to. However, in the end, she didn't. She had somehow managed to convince Eren to let the issue go. How could she tell Eren such a thing when in the first place, she doubted Armin ever wanted either of them to find out? She couldn't bring herself to expose Armin any further. She already felt awful of having been ignorant towards his feelings this entire time.
She wanted to deny Annie's words so badly, and put it off as something false. But the more she thought about it, how Armin looked sorrowful whenever something Eren-related was involved—especially when it concerned her feelings— she couldn't bring herself to claim what Annie said was fake.
And oh, how Armin looked at her at times, with such tender eyes. She had assumed because he cared about her dearly as a friend, empathised with her so much as both had a tragic past regarding the loss of their parents… but clearly now, it was more than that.
But… How do you feel about Armin? A voice reverberated in her head.
How do I… feel about Armin?
He had been a great friend to her throughout the years. He provided her with so much company. He was such a gentle and sweet person who deserved nothing but the best. He deserved to live a life bully-free; a life without troubles. He deserved happiness. He was an amazing person, who had a bright smile that would melt Mikasa's heart because she loved seeing him happy. She didn't like seeing him sad at all. His kindness that he'd show to her and the comfort that he'd let her seek solace in made her feel so much gratitude for him. He'd welcomed her with open, comforting arms and with pieces of advice whenever she got into an argument with Eren regarding her over-protectiveness and his recklessness. He was one of the reasons why those arguments of theirs were resolved pretty much for good now. And growing up, perhaps one of the reasons why Armin barely had any arguments with Mikasa was because he would often give in to her—something that Mikasa of course would and could never purposefully take advantage of. How could she? She cared for him. So much. So deeply.
But all of this boiled down to one thing.
Did she love him, romantically?
"AH!" Mikasa flinched and jolted up upon hearing the sudden exclamation brought by Eren. "I almost forgot!" The way he snapped his head towards her in a flash, his eyes fixated on hers intensely in the dark—the moon providing what dim light it could—startled her a little.
"E-Eren…?" She stammered out, confused. "What's—"
"I forgot to ask about Jean." He cut her off, relieved that he remembered that Mikasa was yet to answer his question before; albeit he found himself strangely tensed as he awaited for her answer.
Meanwhile, never in Mikasa's life would she have ever thought that Jean would've been able to get on Eren's nerves this much even in his absence.
"Jean?" Mikasa's eyes narrowed. "What about him—"
"Did you… reject him?" Why was this bothering him so much?
"Yeah…" She nodded, answering simply, before laying back down, her eyes glued to the ceiling wearily as she let her mind ponder.
Perhaps if the topic of Armin and his feelings didn't weigh on her shoulders so much, she'd have reacted differently to the way Eren was overly concerned about her romantic life, about Jean's confession to her. "Say, Eren…" She uttered while he simultaneously let out a sigh of relief, "What do you think it is like… to love someone?" And instantaneously, his shoulders tensed and she heard his sigh of relief cut in half as he nearly choked on a breath.
"W-What's with the sudden question?" Why am I stuttering? Eren thought helplessly. It wasn't like him to stutter… or have his heart suddenly feel like it'd pump out his chest anytime.
"I… don't know." She didn't want to tell him. She couldn't. "It's just… what's different… between a love for a friend and a love for a… partner…?"
"H-Huh? Different?" His stutter continued. Eren didn't know why Mikasa suddenly sprung this subject onto him, even if he was the one that had just brought up a subject somewhat pertaining to romance; to which was Jean's confession. It wasn't as if he was the best romantic advice giver out there. But above everything, he didn't know why he felt flustered about this topic. Even back then when he chatted with Armin and the topic of how his romantic life was with Annie so far had popped up (when they were still together), he hadn't been this flustered.
"Is…" His heart sank a little at the mere thought of it, and he felt some traces of his rage gathering. She wasn't asking about it because of that horse-face right? She really did reject him, right? "Is this about Jean—"
"It isn't." She had cut him off.
"Then what is... this about?" If it wasn't about Jean, why did she ask such a question?
Not what, but who. Mikasa thought, however she already made a promise to herself not to expose that person. "Never mind…" She mumbled, before turning her body, facing away from Eren. He doesn't seem like he knows the answer either anyway...
Eren watched her turn away, and he felt a little bad for not being able to answer a question that oddly seemed important to her, for whatever reason that Eren couldn't see.
What do I think? It was the first time Eren's mind ever lingered on the topic and idea of romance for such a long while. "I think…" He paused briefly in his belated answer, and considered. "Everything's different."
Hearing his answer had piqued Mikasa's interest, resulting in her turning back to face him. "What do you mean by that?" She wanted a clearer answer.
"I mean… from the way you hold their hand…" He thought back to the time in the bus, where both of their hands and fingers were laced together. "There's just a different type of… comfort and warmth." He was having a hard time articulating. "And then…when you look at the person… it even feels different…" Even with the little light, it felt like Mikasa's eyes were illuminating, and he had only just realised how his own pair of emerald hues were fixated onto them. "And…" There are just things you want to do with them, things that you can only do with them. Somehow, those words didn't manage to leave his lips as he found his eyes slowly tracing downwards, to her lips.
"...Eren…?" Mikasa called out upon noticing the prolonged silence on his part. Did he fall asleep mid-way—
"I-It's just different!" His body abruptly spun away from her, his hands gripping his blanket tightly as he covered his entire body with it. "W-W-Why are you asking anyway?" He asked again, while Mikasa looked at the blanket-covered Eren with bewilderment regarding his sudden reaction.
She would ask, but there were other more concerning things in her mind right now that needed to be and will hopefully be answered before tomorrow, before she'd see Armin. And unfortunately for her, Eren's answer only left her with more questions.
"It's nothing… It must be the… my tiredness." She excused softly. "Goodnight."
Mikasa… was aware of her feelings for Eren, especially after the way Armin brought it up. She loved him. She fell for him, and perhaps the catalyst for it all was on that cold rainy day, where he came for her. There was the scarf too, the red piece of fabric that had provided her with so much warmth for so long while she was met with brutal coldness from her brother. There was his bravery too, that she admired while growing up. She liked the fierceness burning in his eyes whenever he protected her, whenever he protected someone he cared about from bullies. There was his recklessness that she disliked so much too, but even with that, he eventually changed that habit of his for the sake of her.
And when they finally resolved the root cause of their recurring arguments, when they came to a compromise, their trust grew and their relationship developed.
Confidently, she could say that she had romantic feelings for him. But of course, she was still a little shy and hesitant to confess—because in the first place, did Eren feel the same too…? He wasn't always the romantic type, so Mikasa couldn't exactly tell if he truly did reciprocate the feelings she felt for him back. And she hadn't exactly mentally prepared herself for a rejection, if her feelings were unrequited.
Plus now, a part of her felt that it'd be horrible of her to confess to him either way if Armin's feelings for her weren't resolved.
What do I feel… for Armin? Is it platonic or…? Am I misunderstanding anything…? It was her first time ever considering romance with her blonde friend, and frankly she…
"Y-Yeah… goodnight." Eren responded, albeit it was a little muffled thanks to the blanket he took shelter under.
Why the hell did I look at her li-... GAH! Why am I…? This... fluttery feeling again…ugh...
Eren didn't understand this at all. Why? Why was Mikasa making him feel like this? And when? When did these feelings of his finally decide to surface up?
Talking about romance… being annoyed at Jean for confessing his shitty love to her… what is up with me?
Ah, whatever...it's… nothing… even the train of his thoughts hesitated as he closed his eyes, attempting to sleep away these problems of his. It's… probably nothing...right?
The following day arrived, a day that Mikasa secretly dreaded. Even after the few hours of her sleep she sacrificed, thinking about how to handle Armin's feelings, she still found herself at a dead-end. In the first place, she couldn't even bring herself to confess to Eren all this time, much less deal with another person's hidden feelings. How long did he even kept it hidden? When did he start to feel such feelings for her?
And how did she feel about him?
She couldn't even answer that; her feelings to Armin.
Then, there were her feelings for Eren. They were unwavering. They had always been unwavering.
A logical thing for someone in Mikasa's position was to answer Armin's feelings as nothing more than platonic love—because as opposed to how her heart fluttered in particular situations for Eren, it was uncertain when it came to Armin and she only ever began considering her feelings for him in a more romantic light only after Annie's revelation. Not to mention, during all this time when he had kept his feelings stowed away from her, she merely saw him as a close and dear friend.
But there was just something… something in her heart that ached, that felt so conflicted which refused to dismiss his feelings as simply as that. And she couldn't help but wonder, was there something more, deep down, that she felt…?
…
I have to ask him about it.
I have to confirm with him if…
I need to say something.
Because carrying on ignorantly would be disgustingly selfish.
But Mikasa couldn't bring herself to. From the school morning to the end, she hadn't mentioned anything to him about her little chat with Annie.
Mikasa wasn't the best liar either, much less a good actress. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to act after all that information Annie told her the other day. She still wanted to treat Armin normally, of course. She didn't feel that uncomfortable around him—he was still someone she treasured after all.
She just felt… bad. In a way. She could only imagine how much she had unintentionally hurt him, regarding her crush on Eren. After all, if you liked someone, it would be a punch to the gut if that person you liked would talk to you about his or her own crush on someone else. Why did you decide to help me with Eren then, Armin…?
Why subject yourself to so much hurt like that?
She had to thank her weariness, though. From yesterday's somewhat sleepless night. It outweighed her uneasiness about her entire predicament, and Armin didn't seem to suspect anything. Or at least she hoped. It didn't seem like Annie had informed him of how she exposed him the other day.
And perhaps, Mikasa had been hesitant to confront him, because then she would be placed in a position where she'd be obligated to address his feelings—which was something she still didn't know how to answer.
What do I do? She thought helplessly. These thoughts carried on even as she engaged in her after-school club activities, track-and-field. Running in a field didn't seem to ease her nerves or release her stress though. And that was proven when she jumped a little too low over the hurdle, tripping and then falling on the ground with her knee grazing harshly on the merciless rough track.
"I swear, Mikasa…" Eren groaned quietly, "You shouldn't push yourself so much today… especially when you looked so tired this morning…" He pointed out, as he helped her towards the infirmary.
After her injury, an inevitable yelp had escaped her lips that unavoidably attracted the attention of a concerned brunette who rushed to her aid. She insisted that she could go to the infirmary by herself since fortunately, nothing seemed to be sprained. But when Eren saw the blood trickling down her knee with each passing second, he stubbornly refused and eventually Mikasa gave in.
With her arm wrapped around his neck, he provided her some support as they made their way towards the infirmary after the coach was informed.
"Luckily your wound isn't that deep… geez…" He sighed, his eyes glancing towards the raven to see exhaustion written all over. "Be more careful next time."
"Yeah… sorry." She mumbled. And Eren frowned. It didn't take a genius to know that something was up with Mikasa.
Eren couldn't exactly pinpoint what was bothering her, though. There was Jean's confession, but thinking back about it, Mikasa didn't seem that perturbed by it or rather, she didn't seem to care about it all too much. And then there was Annie. Perhaps it was a mistake for giving in, deciding not to interrogate her any further about what she had said to her. Even so, no matter how much Eren racked his brain, he couldn't come up with a reason as to why Mikasa Ackerman would ever be intimidated by Annie Leonhart. It wasn't as if Annie had any dirt on her after all.
Not to mention… last night. When she brought up weird topics. Like romance. Is that what teenage girls think about now…? Eren wondered. Or… did Sasha say something weird to her that day?
Recalling last night inevitably brought back the memory of Eren's eyes fixating itself on Mikasa's lips when he shared his opinion about romance. He had been trying not to think about that the whole day. Because whenever he did, he felt utterly embarrassed, flustered and his heart would just feel all… tingly and strange. He tried to shrug it off as nothing, but it seemed like his heart that was as stubborn as he was, refused to let it go.
He just thanked the dimness of his room. He wouldn't know what to say to Mikasa if she had known. He wouldn't even know what to say to her if she was aware of his heart's recent oddities.
"...Are you sure Jean's confession didn't bother you?" He found himself asking. "Or… did Sasha say anything weird? Or was it Annie? You know, I never thought I'd see you… nervous around Annie. If she did say something weird… we can ask Armin if—"
"Don't." She cut him off, the sharpness in her tone startling Eren slightly as both of them came to an abrupt halt right outside the infirmary. "Don't… drag Armin into this." She softened, readjusting her tone. "He… I don't want to trouble him with his ex. He's… moved on."
"Yeah but if Annie—"
"It isn't about Annie." She said, a little too frustratedly. And when she saw Eren's brow arch and the suspicious yet concern look he shot her, she knew he had doubts. Doubts that she had to erase. And she could only think of one man who she could use as an excuse. "It's just… Levi. I just wonder when he's going to leave so I can return back to my house… I don't want to trouble you." It wasn't necessarily a lie, because that was a truth. But he wasn't a major concern of hers as of now. As long as he stayed out of her way.
If he had abandoned her years back, she was sure it would only be time when he would finally leave her again. His claim of wanting to reconnect with her must be superficial, right?
"... is that it?" was the first thing Eren said, and sighed. The mention of his name vexed him, but he knew now wasn't the time to get frustrated when she was bleeding. He opened the door of the infirmary before walking her in. "I already told you, don't worry about him. And again, you're always welcomed under my roof, Mikasa…" He uttered softly before seating her down on a chair.
Eren seemed to have bought her 'lie'. While it relieved Mikasa, she felt a little awful, for lying in a sense. But it was better than revealing Armin's secret, right?
And speak of the devil.
Turning towards her left, the last person Mikasa anticipated to see was Armin, who had apparently been helping the nurse sort out the medicine. She had forgotten Armin would volunteer to help out in the infirmary when his own club activities were either cancelled or ended early.
She watched his blue eyes widen and brim with worry as Eren sat her down on the chair before he dropped everything in hand as he rushed over to her side. "What happen—" He stopped when he saw her bleeding knee, and instantly went to retrieve the appropriate materials to clean her wound. He cared for her a lot, didn't he?
"She wasn't in full form today. You saw how tired she was today." Eren sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"But even you seemed a little tired today morning, Eren. You didn't make her play video games with you till morning, did you?" Armin queried as he returned with bandages, a bottle of antiseptic, cotton and tissues.
"H-Huh I was?" Well, clearly, he wasn't as tired as Mikasa. Granted, his fluttery heart had made his attempt to sleep his problems away fail. However, whatever feelings and questions that were bothering Eren regarding his feelings weren't as bad as Mikasa's, who he now believed that it was the fault of her damned brother. "Even if I was, video games were not the reason." He defended, unable to bring himself to ask Armin about it—the weird feelings he had been experiencing lately—, when Mikasa was in the room. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he could ask Armin what was going on with him even if Mikasa wasn't in the room anyway. What was he going to tell him? That Mikasa had asked Eren about his opinion on something romance related and mid-way in his sharing, his eyes instinctively averted away, towards her lips—
"Eren, why don't you take a seat first?" Armin spoke, interrupting Eren's thoughts as he began to clean Mikasa's wounds, "You seem a little red… did the coach made you run more rounds than usual?"
"Huh? N-No! Maybe it's the heat." He had the sudden urge to switch the topic away, and when he saw the raven wince as Armin applied the antiseptic, he felt an urge to also give a lecture, odd enough. "But Mikasa, be more careful next time. It isn't like you to trip over. What if you had fallen face-flat? Or onto something sharp? Maybe you should sleep earlier today…" He sighed. "Or is the coach pushing you too much? Either way, you shouldn't let him bother you!" The 'him' he referred to wasn't the coach, and that was evident to Mikasa as rage slowly seeped into Eren's tone as much as he didn't want it to. But she noticed something more amusing, that had caught her attention as Eren carried on. "Getting injured because of… just… be more careful! Alright? What if you had actually sprained your ankle! Or worse, broke a bone. It's not like he—"
Before Eren could continue his rant, Armin had paused mid-way in clearing her wounds, his eyes focused on Eren oddly, so did Mikasa who looked rather amused. Why were they looking at him so weirdly?
"Oi—"
"'I'm not your kid sister. So, stop hovering on me all the time'" Mikasa quoted, albeit altering a few words in Eren's infamous lines. And the fact she said that with such a straight face didn't lessen the red on the brunette's cheeks.
It didn't take him long to realise and to see how their roles switched. It seemed like he was the over-worried one now. "I-I…!" He didn't know what to say. It was just, seeing Mikasa mess up and trip over a short hurdle that she'd normally have no trouble with concerned him. And ever since Levi's return, he felt (although wouldn't openly admit) a little more protective over her. How could he not? He didn't want to see Mikasa hurt again by him.
When he saw the little grin on Mikasa's face when he was caught being flustered, he quickly turned around and automatically headed towards the exit.
"Wait! Eren where are you going—" Armin asked, but was cut off instantly by Eren.
"To get Mikasa's stuff because the coach's not going to let her continue training in her current injured state anyway!" He grumbled, embarrassedly. It was probably an excuse to get away.
"Eh?" Mikasa didn't know why, but teasing Eren… seemed fun (especially when she was in a non-flustering position). "'I already said I'm not your kid sister, so—"
"Bye!" And a slam off door cut her off.
Both Armin and Mikasa resisted a chuckle. It wasn't every day you see a flustered Eren.
"It isn't like Eren to be so protective of you so suddenly…" Armin laughed a little lightly. "Did… something happen the other day with Eren…? You've been living with him for some time now…"
Silence.
Armin slowly looked up towards Mikasa. "Mikasa?" He noticed Mikasa looking straight at him, with an expression that he found unreadable. "Mika...sa?"
Who'd have known that Eren's absence would've changed the atmosphere of the room so quick? Mikasa no longer had a distraction away from him. His feelings. And when Armin mentioned Eren's protectiveness, as well as bringing up the fact she had been under his roof, she noticed the forced calmness in his tone, as if he tried to disguise the fact that no longer being her neighbour was indeed bothering him.
Finally, Mikasa saw the dejection in his eyes. "No… not really." She felt guilty.
"Are you sure?" He asked, "Eren's face looked too red for someone running along the track… maybe he was blushing?" He tried teasing her.
In normal circumstances, Mikasa would've reacted more shyly. Grow red and maybe even become a tomato. But she didn't, she couldn't. Not when...
How could he say things like that, if he did like her? If he had a crush on her? Had romantic feelings for her?
"…Armin…" She started slowly as the blonde finished up with the bandaging. Do you have feelings for me? A phrase, a question that couldn't bring itself to leave her lips. That Mikasa couldn't bring herself to verbalise.
He looked up, eyes softening. "Yeah…?"
When did you first start having feelings for me? "How far would you go for someone you love?"
Armin flinched, and there was something hazy in his eyes that worried Mikasa. It was as if something struck him, like a horrible memory.
Were there things he had done that she had been unaware of? Things to get her to return his feelings?
"Is it… something about Eren?" He asked a little hesitantly, the haziness in his eyes remaining. "Did he say something… did something happen…?"
"That's… not what I'm asking…" Was he trying to avoid the question?
Armin bit his lip. "I…—"
"The coach told me to tell you to go home and get some rest…" Eren informed after he slid open the door, a sound that Armin allowed to cut him off, before internally thanking his quick return.
Eren's cheeks were less red, as he seemed to cool off about the earlier little tease Mikasa gave him; something he hoped she wouldn't bring up again. Fortunately for him, it wasn't going to happen anytime soon given the awkward and sullen mood Eren failed to detect between the two.
"I'll walk you home." Eren added, as he walked over to Mikasa, with her bag slung over his shoulder.
Mikasa looked at Armin, who avoided meeting her gaze as he stood up, excusing himself as he returned the medical supplies. He wasn't going to answer her anytime soon, was he?
"No, it's fine." Mikasa replied. "Armin... bandaged my knees fine enough. I can make it back home by myself."
"Huh?" Eren frowned. "What If you fall again? Mika—"
"I'll take the bus back, don't worry Eren. Besides, you have to train for the competition that's coming up in a few months, right?" She sighed before standing up successfully, making her way towards Eren as she grabbed her bag from him, nodding in thanks. "See? I'm not limping, I can walk fine."
"But…" He was a little reluctant. He knew Mikasa could handle herself, but given her exhaustion that clearly affected her performance today, that caused her carelessness he didn't know if he should let her return home on her own. "Or maybe Armin can—"
"I didn't sprain anything." She assured, cutting him off. "Besides, if you skip out track just to walk me home when I could do it myself, Coach might make you run extra rounds." She joked lightly, "I don't want to trouble either of you any further anyway…" She added.
"Mikas—"
"Eren, I'm not your kid—"
"Okay! Okay! Fine!" Eren immediately threw his hands up in both surrender and defence. He didn't want to hear that for the third time. Although, it did remind him once again, how protective he was being with her now. She could walk normally; she wasn't limping and it wasn't as if she was going to participate in some crazy obstacle course behind his back. And it was better for her to return home as compared to staying and training. Maybe we are switching roles… Eren thought, groaning quietly before he resigned. "Just… message me when you're home, okay?"
Mikasa nodded as she made her way towards the exit. "I'll see you home later then." She said, as her eyes went back towards Armin, who busied himself at the medicine cabinet. And she wondered, oh, she wondered why the question she asked him seemed to have bothered him so much.
For now, she decided to leave and head back home, as opposed to continuing with her track activities. She needed some time alone to settle her thoughts. Away from Armin. Away from Eren. The two males who she treasured deeply, but had recently caused so much chaos in her heart.
And hopefully, she'd be able to resolve at least Armin's feelings tomorrow.
If only Mikasa knew Love wasn't so easy that way. It doesn't get solved so easily.
With a small wave and a quiet "Goodbye" she left.
And when Mikasa left the room, Eren was the first to comment on Mikasa's exhaustion. "I hope she'll be fine…" He mumbled, "She… told me it was because of Levi. I didn't know he was still troubling her mind." He said bitterly, his expression scrunching up as if he ate something disgustingly sour. "I should've known, given the hurt and coldness she had received from him back then… pain like that doesn't go away so easily, huh?"
"Levi, huh…?" Armin muttered, his eyes still focused on the medicinal shelves as he arranged the supplies. Although, his mind did drift off a little, back to the conversation he had shared with Levi previously when he went over to Mikasa's house.
"Yeah… anyway, I ought to head back to track then. I'll see you after school." He would've continued on the topic of Levi, but it wasn't worth getting angry about it now, and then later being scolded by his Coach for being late. But before he left, he contemplated something briefly. About telling Armin. And eventually, he decided. "And… I have something to ask you about later. It's… about Mikasa"
"Is that… so?" Armin said, his eyes darting towards him to see him a little… shy. Eren was never shy. And that shyness of his, already hinted at what that topic about Mikasa he wanted to discuss about later. "Alright, then."
"Mm… I'll see you." He nodded, before exiting.
When Eren left, Armin found himself slumping down onto a chair, before sighing heavily.
...Something really happened between them, huh? Armin thought.
What would've happened if she had confessed to Eren and he had accepted? Would Armin still have kept quiet about his feelings? Thoughts like this ran and ran in her mind non-stop from school, all the way back to Eren's doorstep that she now approached.
On top of all these things, there was Levi to worry about too. When was he going to leave? Why did he have to come back now?
It seemed a little too late to mend their ties, wasn't it?
"What to do… what to do…" She mumbled to herself as she neared Eren's doorstep. Honestly, she hoped the world wouldn't be cruel enough to toss more problems at her.
Reaching her hand out and towards his wooden door that she was about to knock, the last thing she expected was for it to fling wide open out of the blue while a loud voice slowly emerged from inside. "HEYYY ERE—"
It frightened Mikasa, and she had to do a double-take of the house to confirm that she was at the right place.
Who was this… woman? At Eren's home?
"You're not Eren." She watched her eyes squint while she adjusted her glasses, as if she were doing a double-take as well.
And why did she know Eren's name?
"And you're not Carla…" Mikasa managed to mumble back, as the pony-tailed woman scrutinized her even further. "Are you… a friend of Carla's?" She asked, and if she were to answer back with a puzzled no, Mikasa would probably then determine her as a bad burglar or a lost, crazy woman. Or both.
"You look oddly familiar…" She responded instead, ignoring her previous questions. And that only increased Mikasa's concern further about this mysterious woman. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
"Erm…" Mikasa didn't know what to do or say as her eyes scanned the woman head-to-toe. She had around the same brown hair colour Eren and Carla had. A relative…? Maybe…? But I don't see the resemblance… She thought as the woman gestured her to answer. Either way she doesn't seem dangerous. And even if she is...
"… My name's Mikasa Ackerman. Eren's friend…" She said, deciding to introduce herself, seeing not much harm. She tried to peek in the house, to see if Carla was there, but her vision inside was instantly blocked by the eccentric woman whose eyes widened, before taking a step closer to her as if to examine her further. She had a look of disbelief.
"Mikasa Ackerman? Ackerman? Ack-er-man? Mi-ka-sa?" She asked, amused. And Mikasa nodded, wondering if it was, she who had known her from somewhere instead and not the Jaeger's.
"What a small world we live in." She spoke, a small smile crawling up to her lips, before moving aside to make way for her. "I'm Hanji Zoe."
Author's notes:
NEXT (estimated) UPDATE: END JULY - AUGUST
I want to thank everyone for reading and patience haha.
Honestly, i originally thought about ending this in a one-shot wrap up but eventually scraped that idea because i feel like it'd be dissatisfactory to some of my readers. Plus, i think i'm too deep in this fic to even consider a rewrite lol. Looking back, i should've plotted this more clearly and focused on how i should've balanced each character and the romance etc etc. I guess i got too excited to write this when i first started out and just dived right in haha. However, all in all, i decided to complete it to the end with the pairing i had in mind when first starting this fic even if this fic is kinda trashy and cringey? IDk maybe its just me lol. I hope all of you still find this enjoyable one way or another.
Next chapter will be Armin angst so keep an eye for that.
Also, out of curiosity, who are y'all rooting for? Did your minds change mid-way during the fic or is your ship still the same? HmM (Don't worry; your answer will not impact the outcome of this fic.)
Please Leave a Review ! Constructive feedback is welcomed (so in the future, i won't make the same mistakes if i ever plan to write a love triangle again haha) And once again, thank you for reading and support. Also my tumblr is : rosaline-kei if you ever want to chat or see if i'm still active should i not update in time.
PS: Also, please stay healthy and stay safe during these times when the world seems like its upside down. Most of all, stay strong :).
